Top secret, Classified SCP [Joke scp]
rating: 0+x

SCP 2953-J
Object class: Keter.

Containment procedures: SCP 2953-j is to be kept in a █████████████ █████ ██████ █ ████ with ██████ ███ █████ ██ ████ and submerged in ████████ ███ █████ ███ ████ ████ ███████ with a bucket of █████ █████ █████ █ ██████ ████████████ ███████ ██████████ approximately 14 tons of ██████ █████ ██████ ██████, and a photograph of former United Stares president Richard Nixon.

Description: The subject is a █████████████ ███ ███████ ██ ████████ with ███████████ and █████████ made almost entirely of ███████████ and filled with ████████. Class D personnel exposed to 2953-J have reported ████████ █████ █████ ███ and ██████. ████ ███ ████████ fried chicken ███████ ██████ ███████ ███████. If 2953-J is within 100 miles of a ███████ ████ ████ █████, or a ███████ ████ █████ on-site warheads are to be detonated immediately.

Incident log:

██/██/████: Scp 2953-J escaped containment, and immediately proceeded to ████ ██████ ██████ ██████. ████ █████ ████ ██████████ █████ ███ Dr. [redacted]’s trachea and █████ ████████ ███ ██████ ███████ █████ █████████ █████ ████ ████. ████ ██████ six entire corpses ████ ██████ ██ █████ █████ and a [redacted] shoved in their ███. ████ ███████ ███ ████ ████ █████. ███ ███████ ████ proceeded to █████ ███. A nearby town had to be evacuated, as the subject had somehow accessed their water supply, and ██████. Witnesses described the scene as “Terrifying” and “Psychologically damaging" before being administered class A amnestics.

██/██/████: Scp 2953-J was placed in containment with Scp 682 in the hopes that one would destroy the other. Three hours passed with the two fighting, before █████ █████ ██ █████ ██████ █████. ██████ ████ ████████, █████ ████ █████ ████. ████ ███ █████ ████ ████ ████ ██ the entire population of the state of Ohio. ██████ ████ ████. Luckily, three D-class personnel were able to distract 2953-J by ██████ ████ ███████ ████ ████ ██████ ████ while MTF units successfully subdued 682.

██/██/████: Scp 2953-J ███████ █████ █████ █████ ████ ████ ███ ████ █████. ████████ ██ ██████ ██████ ███ ██████████ ████ and 9 gallons of ████ ██████ ████ █████ █████ ██████ █████ hippopotamus █████████ ████ █████ █████ █████ █████ █████ ████████ ██████████ ██ ████████ ██████████ █████ ██████████████ with █████████ ███████████ ██████ ████. There were no survivors.

Addendum SCP-2935-J-1: Who the ████ Black-boxed this file? I am absolutely furious right now, this entity is dangerous and leaving out this much information can lead to █████ █████ █████! -Dr █████

Addendum SCP-2935-J-2: It has come to my attention that it is apparently the entity itself somehow blackboxing the information in this file. Fan-███████-tastic. -Dr █████