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Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX has been showed to be uncontainable using conventional methods. However, as per protocol detailed in Addendum XXXX.4, Foundation surveillance drones, satellites, and cameras within SCP-XXXX's general vicinity are to be pointed at it at all times. D-Class armed with the NL-ψ-18 cognitohazard are to be deployed to intercept any interactions between SCP-XXXX and civillian children.
Archived Containment Procedures (27/07/20): SCP-XXXX-1 is to be contained in a 10m x 10m concrete HCC within the Gamma Wing in Site-27. The HCC is to be fitted with a blast-proof door, fitted with a lock that only opens to personnel with Level 4 Security Clearance or higher. SCP-XXXX-2 is to be placed in Anomalous Item Storage Room A-19 and is only allowed to be removed for experimenting.
Description: SCP-XXXX refers to two separate objects, herein referred to as SCP-XXXX-1 and SCP-XXXX-2.
SCP-XXXX-1 is a humanoid with the stereotypical appearance of a British grandmother, who is 1.5m in height. The entity adheres to the name "Elizabeth S██████" and is estimated to be 75-85 years of age, and has the ability to use doors and other hinged openings to bend the fabric of space, creating spatial anomalies it use to travel great distances, even if said doors are locked. By what mechanism they achieve this is unknown.
SCP-XXXX-1 has been sighted in various locations, such as Beijing, China, ████████, Lesotho, and a village situated in the Amazon rainforest belonging to the indigenous [REDACTED] Tribe. The entity has been shown to be fluent in some commonly spoken languages all human languages, most notably Xhosa, Chinese, and [DATA EXPUNGED].
Upon reaching a new location via the aforementioned spatial anomaly, SCP-XXXX-1 will immediately seek out the nearest public space (e.g. parks, shopping malls, etc.) and loiter around till a child of age 11 or less approaches them. The entity will then address the child in a form of endearment and "gift" them an item drawn out from SCP-XXXX-2.
SCP-XXXX-2 is a purple clasp handbag made of an indeterminate material, with a brown, leather label reading "Smith's Luxury Goods est. 1935". No company registered with that name exists. The object houses a portal to a pocket dimension containing various generic items normally found in women's handbags, as well as some toys, snacks, and drinks. Certain items drawn from SCP-XXXX-2 have been found to have anomalous properties or be outright dangerous for use by children. A log of selected items drawn from SCP-XXXX-2 can be found in Addendum XXXX.3. In addition, it is estimated to have a density of over 20,000 kg/m3, enough to cause substantial skull and brain damage.
SCP-XXXX follows a strict schedule everyday upon appearing in a new location:
- from 10am - 3pm, SCP-XXXX will loiter in public spaces, giving random items to children.
- from 4pm - 5pm, SCP-XXXX has dinner at a dining establishment closest to the public space they were in previously.
- from 6pm - 7pm, SCP-XXXX continues loitering at a different public space.
- at exactly 7.12pm, SCP-XXXX leaves the area using their anomalous properties.
Due to the nature of SCP-XXXX-1's anomalous behavior, only one (1) formal interview has been conducted with the entity, and even then hardly any information regarding their anomalous properties was obtained. The interview log can be found in Addendum XXXX.2.
Discovery: SCP-XXXX was initially discovered when Agents N█████ T██ and D████ M██ were having their lunch in the ██████ Park in England, which is in close proximity to Site-27. SCP-XXXX-1 was seen interacting with a toddler and his parents, before presenting an instance of SCP-1642 from SCP-XXXX-2 to the child. After the family had left the park, Agent D████ and SCP-XXXX-1 had a brief conversation, after which SCP-XXXX-1 attacked Agent N█████ and fled the scene. A transcript of the event is detailed in Addendum XXXX.1.
Addendum XXXX.1:
Foreword: See section "Discovery". Agent D████ and Agent N█████ shall be referred to as Agent 1 and Agent 2 respectively in this document.
[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
Agent 1: Excuse me madam, but may I know where you obtained those tablets?
SCP-XXXX-1 (slightly irritated): Why, at the shops of course, young man. Why do you ask?
Agent 1: Well, stop giving them to random children! They are incredibly dangerous! In fact, how are you even getting those? We've discontinued them.
SCP-XXXX-1: What piffle! I am doing an act of charity to this charming young boy and his parents, and here you are, poking your nose where it doesn't belong!
Agent 1: You are endangering the very fabric of reality!
SCP-XXXX-1: You are just being plain ridiculous!
Agent 1: That's it, you're coming with us.
Agent 2: Um, isn't this against protocol or something?
(Agent 1 ignores Agent 2's advice and grabs SCP-XXXX-1 by the arm and drags them towards Site-27.)
SCP-XXXX-1: Aaah! Help! Kidnap!
(SCP-XXXX-1 clocks Agent 2 over the head with SCP-XXXX-2, shattering his skull. Amidst the chaos, SCP-XXXX-1 flees the scene.)
Agent 2: [EXPLETIVE DELETED]! Ah, [EXPLETIVE]!!
Agent 1: What the— oh for goodness sake she's gone again.
[END TRANSCRIPT]
Remarks: SCP-XXXX-1 utilized a door to travel to ███████, a small town located 1██km north of Site-27. Agent N█████ is currently undergoing rehabilitation for his head wound.
Addendum XXXX.2:
Interviewed: SCP-XXXX-1
Interviewer: Jr. Researcher Thompson
Foreword: Shortly after SCP-XXXX's initial discovery, MTF ϑ-51 "Elderberries" was dispatched to ███████ in order to retrieve SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXXX-1 was sedated and brought to Site-27's Interrogation Room.
[BEGIN LOG]
Jr. Researcher Thompson: Hello, SCP-XXXX-1.
SCP-XXXX-1 (slurring): Who a-are you talking to? W-Where am I…
Jr. Researcher Thompson: Ma'am, you are in Foundation custody for further study of your anomalous properties. You have been designated as SCP—
SCP-XXXX-1: Essy Pee? Anomalous properties? What is this nonsense? If this is some sort of— (stammering) insane asylum then you are clearly mistaken.
Jr. Researcher Thompson: SCP-XXXX—
SCP-XXXX-1: Refer to me by my full name, young man!
Jr. Researcher Thompson: (sighs) Never mind. Now tell me, Ms. S██████, how is it that you have an impossibly large amount of anomalous goods on your person at all times?
SCP-XXXX-1: Why, I put them in my handbag. Lovely little thing, bought it in Egypt. Enchanted by a shaman to hold larger items.
Jr. Researcher Thompson: And where do you get the discontinued Wondertainment toys?
SCP-XXXX-1: (short pause) I buy them. For the children.
Jr. Researcher Thompson: Can you please elaborate?
A long pause ensues.
SCP-XXXX-1: Well, er, my grandson J██████ has a sort of… (mumbling) …affinity with computers. He, uh showed me this thing he called the… the… dim? The Dim Web?
Jr. Researcher Thompson: The Dark Web.
SCP-XXXX-1: Yes, that, and something to do with an onion. I, um, found a website that sells toys on it, and, um…
Jr. Researcher Thompson: So you bought toys from this website you just randomly found on the dark web.
SCP-XXXX-1: [INAUDIBLE]
Jr. Researcher Thompson: Don't be so obstinate. Can't we at least have some more information?
SCP-XXXX-1 (visibly frustrated): This is ridiculous. These questions are overly intrusive, and I can have all of you, (short pause as the entity turns around to face guards stationed at the door) that's right, the lot of you arrested f-for… (mumbling) …MANHANDLING me here and stealing my purse!
(SCP-XXXX-1 begins shouting at Jr. Researcher Thompson incoherently. The guards restrain them before they attack Jr. Researcher Thompson.)
Jr. Researcher Thompson: Sedate her and show her to her cell. Hopefully we can get more info once she's docile.
[END LOG]
Remarks: Two (2) days after this interview, SCP-XXXX-1 breached containment via the blast door its HCC was outfitted with to collect SCP-XXXX-2 and leave Site-27. Since SCP-XXXX-1 is able to form spatial anomalies with locked doors, proper containment attempts with SCP-XXXX have ceased.
Addendum XXXX.3:
Note: This is a truncated list of items distributed by SCP-XXXX to date. A full list is available y request.
| S. No. |
Recipient of Item |
Desc. of Item |
Remarks |
| XXXX-2-1 |
Unidentified toddler, England |
An instance of SCP-1642. |
Refer to Addendum XXXX.1 for more info. |
| XXXX-2-18 |
Chinese girl named Xi Jun Juan, residing in city of Beijing |
A non-anomalous deflated, purple balloon |
N/A |
| XXXX-2-19 |
Armenian boy, later identified as Arman Atchabahian |
A single paperclip, placed inside a folded paper napkin An instance of SCP-5043 that had gone missing from its container two weeks prior. |
N/A |
| XXXX-2-29 |
Unidentified Mongolian child |
An empty plastic tube, bearing a label consistent with SCP-4118. |
N/A |
| XXXX-2-41 |
D-99276, who disguised himself as a child using a non-lethal cognitohazard, developed for this purpose |
A box of Froot Loops branded breakfast cereal. Box was larger than SCP-XXXX-2. |
Note: From now on, efforts shall be made to intercept SCP-XXXX before they distribute anything overly dangerous to a child. - O5-7 |
| XXXX-2-57 |
Paraguayan child, identified as Maria Lopez |
A notebook bearing the Foundation's insignia on its front cover; O5-1's personal cell phone number was written on the last page. |
As per protocol regarding Class-A information leaks, XXXX-2-57 was incinerated. |
| XXXX-2-63 |
D-99276 |
A packet of crackers, which adhered to a pattern of a Koch snowflake. Packaging was in Yiddish. |
Fractal pattern was found, after extensive analysis, to continue down to the sub-atomic level. How the nuclei of certain carbon atoms within the crackers were rearranged to continue the fractal pattern without any adverse effects is unknown. |
| XXXX-2-80 |
D-43201, following SCP-XXXX's manifestation within Luxembourg |
A silicon cube with a black, metallic core A silicon cube, containing the largest sample of astatine ever synthesized. How the astatine remained in a stable state without vaporizing itself with the heat of its own radioactivity is being researched. |
N/A ██/02/25 UPDATE: While in Anomalous Item Storage, XXXX-2-IX spontaneously heated to temperatures greater than that of the sun, resulting in the destruction of most of Site-293. |
| XXXX-2-112 |
Several construction workers, Toronto, Canada |
A consumer-grade, non-anomalous stepladder. Stepladder was larger than SCP-XXXX-2. |
N/A |
| XXXX-2-126 |
Unidentified French child |
What appears to be a sentient paper crane. Flew out of subject's hands two minutes after being obtained by the child. |
N/A |
| XXXX-2-128 |
Unidentified Greek girl |
A bouquet of neon pink flowers. DNA samples obtained from a fallen petal match no known species of flora. |
N/A |
| XXXX-2-144 |
D-1528300, following SCP-XXXX's manifestation in Cuba |
A miniature version of SCP-XXXX-2. Has anomalous effects similar to the original. |
Note: …what. - Researcher Xianthu |
| XXXX-2-154 |
Unidentified girl, North Sentinel Island tribe |
A single Chupa-Chups brand strawberry lollipop, ascertained by watching hidden camera footage. |
A cargo cult has been formed around SCP-XXXX-1 by the Sentinelese, leading to the mass production of hinged doors and the enshrining of the remains of the received lollipop. |
| XXXX-2-175 |
D-119926, following SCP-XXXX's manifestation in Afghanistan |
A notebook. Notebook contains near-illegible shorthand detailing plans by the Taliban to destroy a building currently used as an underground Christian church. |
N/A |
| XXXX-2-231 |
D-99276 |
A woolen jumper bearing the Foundation's insignia. The jumper grants its wearer all knowledge of the Foundation, dating back to ███ AD. |
As per protocol regarding Class-Ω information leaks, XXXX-2-231 was incinerated. All personnel with Level 3 Security Clearance or lower who handled the item have been administered Class-B amnestics. |
| XXXX-2-232 |
D-99276 |
A D-Class uniform that causes researchers around the wearer to believe that the wearer is a D-Class, and assign them to overly elaborate experiments with Keter-class SCPs . |
Note: We lost many good researchers because of this. Rest in peace, Patel. - Jr. Researcher Thompson |
| XXXX-2-257 |
Unknown, [REDACTED] Amazonian tribal village |
Unknown, as the men of the tribe began throwing stones at SCP-XXXX-1 after they manifested in the village. SCP-XXXX quickly retreated. |
N/A |
Addendum XXXX.4:
Note: The following is an extract from an internal memo sent out to all researchers and agents working in Site-27. This extract concerns the containment of SCP-XXXX. Data integrity has been confirmed by Dr. Q. Soras, Head of Technology of Site-27.
SITE-27 ENCRYPTED SERVER
CHANNEL SENT: #announcements-lv-3
id=n?19343d
dev-mode=true
FROM: Site-27 Head of Containment, Dr. Issac Bailey
TO: Site-27 Research Team (62 members); Site-27 Containment Team (30 members); SCP-XXXX Research Team (9 members); Site Director of Site-27, E. C. Calvin; Site-27 Foundation Agents (16 members); Site-27 Misc. Level 3 Clearance Staff (4 members)
SUBJECT: On SCP-XXXX's Containment (real-name=on-scp-xxxx-s-con)
Hello all. If anyone hasn't gotten the message yet, we have ceased proper containment on SCP-XXXX, and are only focusing on intercepting items given by the anomaly.
Now, we would usually bring out the big guns for any sort of reality bender, ESPECIALLY if it's a Class-4, and lock it in a titanium cell with twenty armed guards or some other bullcrap, but in this case we are exempting SCP-XXXX-1 from this. Of course, this may sound absolutely lackadaisical, but with the strangeness of the universe being the very thing we study here, we got sort of lucky with this one.
SCP-XXXX is COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS of their anomalous behaviour. As far as I can tell, they've only ever given us ONE absolutely-dangerous out-of-this-world item, and that item took about, what, 5 years to actually do the damage it caused after we realised it was dangerous, so really, we had enough time to move it off-site before the damage could be done. Really, given that we have bases and sites across the globe and an adequate number of D-Class to intercept XXXX, this probably won't blow up into the XK-Class end-of-the-world scenario expected of reality benders.
Of course, we've had a few information leaks, but so far its been mostly Class-Cs and Class-Ds, so really, as long as we continue our interception protocol on SCP-XXXX, we at the SCP-XXXX Research Team have determined that, given the circumstances, ceasing traditional containment of SCP-XXXX should be completely safe.
But, in the case of any nit-picking researchers coming up to me with whatever bullshit you have to offer, let it be known that the one SCP that obliterated Site-239 sincerely believes that it is called the Dim Web as opposed to the Dark Web.
Regards,
Issac Bailey, Site-27 Head of Containment
Per 
