Per 
Item #: SCP-XXXX-J
Object Class: Safe (probably?)
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-J is to be kept in it’s containment chamber at site-15 at all times. Access to SCP-XXXX-J is to be limited to Level 3 personnel and above. Furthermore SCP-XXXX-J is not to be used as a toy and any staff attempting to play “SCP-XXXX-J Roulette” on it should be stopped as soon as possible (refer to Test Log [SCP-XXXX-J-09]) and reported to their superiors at the earliest convenience.
Description: SCP-XXXX-J is a metallic control panel with several buttons adorning it’s top surface. Additionally the buttons on SCP-XXXX-J still function despite the panel having no means of receiving electricity. Each of the buttons on SCP-XXXX-J will trigger a random event and while researchers have attempted to find patterns in these random events they were unable to link together any of the strange occurrences.
SCP-XXXX-J has displayed a variety of abilities with little to no connection to each other. These abilities range from transforming foundation personnel into fish to turning a star into pudding. To be completely frank there is no possible way to organize the functions of every button on SCP-XXXX-J as even if we wrote it down the buttons have been known to randomly change functions. In a most likely pointless attempt to understand SCP-XXXX-J we have compiled a series of test logs below.
Test Log [SCP-XXXX-J-01] - ██/██/████
Button Pressed: A green square shaped button.
Results: The sprinkler system went off but the water was inexplicably replaced with Kool-Aid.
Notes: None.
Test Log [SCP-XXXX-J-03] - ██/██/████
Button Pressed: A blue button with the words, “Push Me!” printed on it.
Results: Confetti was shot out of the researchers ears, they each reported extreme discomfort afterwards.
Notes: None.
Test Log [SCP-XXXX-J-05] - ██/██/████
Button Pressed: A yellow button with an exclamation point written on it.
Results: A nuclear warhead went off in a nearby small town. The foundation is still currently attempting to cover up the event.
Notes: Holy C$&#! Maybe we should stop messing around with this thing.
Test Log [SCP-XXXX-J-09] - ██/██/████
Buttons Pressed: Various different buttons.
Results: 05-██ was momentarily turned into a fish, a star in the Big Dipper constellation was turned into pudding, the power sources for several sites were sent to Pluto resulting in numerous containment breaches, Dr. ██████’s cheesecake that she brought for lunch exploded, and SCP-XXXX-J was teleported to Switzerland.
Notes: There is no such thing as “SCP-XXXX-J Roulette”! What were you wackos even thinking! This is gonna take us an eternity to clean up!
