Seeking Greenlights: No
Seeking Greenlights: No
Page Type: SCP Article
Genre (Optional): Hilarious
Elevator Pitch: A virus that is transmitted through the air, similar to the flu. This virus travels to the brain, where the affected individual falls under its effects. The virus latches onto the brain and starts displaying visual hallucinations in the victim’s field of vision. These hallucinations all advertise different products, with some nonsensical and some Skip based. The effect also advertises the ad company responsible for this campaign. Mimic stuff add here and also the thing with the strains that are going to accompany it. Other strains of the virus (-2 and -3 maybe?) Are detected by the foundation, with ties to GOIs advertising their products (Think MC&D). Antibiotics suffice when combating the bacteria, expiration is incredibly rare and is reserved only to subjects to which the illness was purposefully left to reproduce (almost entirely harmless).
Central Narrative: Chaos erupts with an outbreak in a Foundation site after a sample gets out. Some instances of ads that can appear are included in a table, along with an interview with an annoyed researcher. Cure is ongoing, estimated at around 8 years away. The word chaos is Hyperbole
Hook/Attention-Grabber: AD VIRUS
ACTUAL ARTICLE SO FAR
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is currently being monitored in order to effectively cut down on outbreaks. In the event that an SCP-XXXX outbreak occurs in a populated area, MTF-Chi-7 ‘Plague Tamers’ is to be deployed in order to reestablish containment. All affected individuals are to be treated with antiviral medication and placed under observation. When the disease has subsided, all individuals are to be administered Class-C amnestics and released. The outbreak is to be covered up with Scenario-7-C, “quarantined area”. Controlled exposure to SCP-XXXX in order to document the visual patterns it creates is allowed on D-Class personnel under permission from a Level 3 Researcher. A sample of SCP-XXXX is to be stored in Biological Research Area-12 for study.
Chair
Concept link (w/ greenlights)
[http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-14110598/xp-grinding-chairs-seeking-greenlights##]
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX instances are to be stored in a secure space; access to a desk is to be limited solely for testing purposes and under no circumstances should the projections be allowed access to the internet. SCP-XXXX-A is to be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell, with access to a desk and office supplies. Due to the nature of SCP-XXXX-A, common humanoid containment procedures are unnecessary.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a collection of office chairs that exhibit anomalous behavior when placed in proximity of a desk. All instances of SCP-XXXX possess markings that generate an instance of SCP-XXXX-1 when viewed. The effects of SCP-XXXX cease when it is taken away from a desk, with the maximum recorded distance between an instance of SCP-XXXX-1 and a desk being 1 meter.
SCP-XXXX-1 is a projection that manifests by viewing the markings on an instance of SCP-XXXX. The markings on the chair alter the perception of all affected individuals to perceive a human being sitting on it. This projection of a human being is able to identify itself and give basic information about itself, primarily information that would be asked of it to complete paperwork. No instance of SCP-XXXX-1 has been able to give out data that matches their physical appearance, which matches no known individual. SCP-XXXX-1 is able to become tangible when interacting with other objects in its vicinity.
All instances of SCP-XXXX-1 have displayed basic knowledge of the organization they are employed in, although interviews with these projections have been hindered by the inability of SCP-XXXX-1 to discuss anything unrelated to office work. These projections have been able to accrue promotions within their own organizations, displaying an ability to follow orders and complete paperwork while being unambitious. The public nature of their positions hindered retrieval in some instances.
SCP-XXXX-A is a leather recliner bearing similar markings to instances of SCP-XXXX, and it is believed to be an attempt to upgrade the design and capabilities of SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXXX-A is capable of displaying an instance of SCP-XXXX-2.
SCP-XXXX-2 is a projection capable of independent thought that has claimed it was formerly a human. It has retained the appearance of its former body. The markings that would allow it to become tangible are incomplete, resulting in an inability to move objects. SCP-XXXX-2 has identified itself as the creator of all known instances of SCP-XXXX, albeit the method through which they gathered the necessary knowledge to create the objects or transfer their consciousness into another body is as of yet unknown.
Recovery: During a routine inspection of several Foundation fronts in the ███████ area, an instance of SCP-XXXX was flagged for memetic symbols and consequently retrieved by Foundation Agents. The address given by SCP-XXXX-1 when hired revealed SCP-XXXX-A under the same conditions. Subsequent instances of SCP-XXXX were found by looking at other employees that had the same address listed in their employment record.
Addendum-XXXX-1: Positions held by instances of SCP-XXXX-1
| COMPANY |
POSITION |
| ███████ Investment Firm |
Chief Investment Officer |
| ███████ Department of Transportation |
Accountant |
| ███████ Pharmaceutical company |
Quality Control Manager |
| Safe Capital Projects LLC. |
Managing Director |
Interviewed: [SCP-XXXX-1 instance]
Interviewer: [Researcher Davis]
Foreword: [The purpose of this interview is to determine whether or not SCP-XXXX-1 instances are able to divulge information about their previous jobs. The projection being interviewed worked at Safe Capital Projects LLC, a Foundation front, before recovery. Finding a potential information breach is crucial.]
<Begin Log, [21:25]>
Researcher Davis: Hello, SCP-XXXX. Do you mind if we start the interview right now?
SCP-XXXX-1: Ah, hello! I’m honored to have the opportunity to apply to this position. Sorry for sitting down before you arrived.
Researcher Davis: This isn’t a job interview, we just wanted to ask you some questions about your previous job at Safe Capital.
SCP-XXXX-1: I am sure you will get nothing but glowing reviews. My time there was great and I have no doubt that if you are looking for a recommendation letter I can call them and see what they can do.
Researcher Davis: Are you aware of how you got there? Where you came from? Who got your paychecks?
SCP-XXXX-1: Of course, you definitely need my address. Please send the checks to [REDACTED].
Researcher Davis: Well, what were you trying to gain by working there? Did you relay any information to someone else? Just give me something to work with.
SCP-XXXX-1: Everyone there was great. I really put in the work, and there’s something to be said about putting in the work and climbing the ranks. Not that I would overstep if I was offered a position here, don’t worry.
Researcher Davis: Are you still talking about the job offer? No mention of anything else? I’m content with you acknowledging the plant in the corner of the room.
[Researcher Davis gestures around the room.]
SCP-XXXX-1: Before we get into the details, I will admit that I don’t have a lot of technical ability, but I can assure you that any paperwork that comes my way will get done immediately. I pride myself in my work ethic.
Researcher Davis: This is going nowhere, is it? I am talking to the chair equivalent of a worker bee. I’ll end the interview here.
SCP-XXXX-1: Great! When can I start?
[Researcher Davis sighs.]
<End Log, [21:42]>
Closing Statement: [SCP-XXXX-1 instances appear to be unable to discuss details of previous jobs. There was some acknowledgement that they no longer worked there, but it caused it to mistake the interview for a job interview. SCP-XXXX working at a Foundation front does not constitute an information breach, it seems as if it was placed there on accident.]
Addendum-XXXX-3: Interview with SCP-XXXX-2
Interviewed: [SCP-XXXX-2 instance]
Interviewer: [Researcher Davis]
Foreword: [The purpose of this interview is to gain insight into why this chair is more elaborate than the rest. The ability to communicate effectively with SCP-XXXX-2 makes this much easier.]
<Begin Log, [15:12]>
Researcher Davis: Hello SCP-XXXX-2, care to describe your condition?
SCP-XXXX-2: I mean, I messed up. That is why I’m here, right? I’m no longer really a human.
Researcher Davis: Well, as of right now we just want to gain some insight into your situation. Are you aware of what caused you to turn to your current condition?
SCP-XXXX-2: This was all caused by those office chairs. Have you talked to one of them? They are mindless drones, and they still got to climb up the corporate ladder? When I made them I didn’t really think too much. Make a few chairs that can project blank humans, and send them into offices. At most it was a bit of extra cash. Next thing I know a chair is approving medical products? Unreal.
Researcher Davis: So the chairs fell out of your control? Interesting. Is there anything you could’ve glossed over when making them? Were the promotions not part of any plan?
SCP-XXXX-2: Of course not. I mean, getting money was fine for a while, but then they started performing too well, and at one point I was getting too much cash and I couldn’t keep spending it without an explanation as to where it came from. I didn’t expect that being a blank slate is such a high value trait for companies, I guess.
Researcher Davis: Right. But I still don’t get how that influenced you into becoming an instance of SCP-XXXX yourself.
SCP-XXXX-2: Well, I was bright in school, and after that ended I couldn’t go any direction in my career. The day I got mail detailing that one of the non-people I made as a joke became a director at an investment firm I pretty much lost it. I thought I had the expertise to create a much better chair, and I managed to alter a nicer chair. It was a pretty stupid move, but I transferred my consciousness into this chair.
Researcher Davis: Those would be the more elaborate symbols there, right? Do they tether your consciousness into the chair? Then what are these incomplete symbols supposed to mean?
SCP-XXXX-2: Oh. Right. I’m actually pretty new to altering objects. This is probably going to get me in more trouble, but I had just learned about the occult properly, you know? I normally have a guide to draw the symbols correctly, but in my haste I messed some of them up. I realized I had screwed up when I couldn’t touch anything.
Researcher Davis: And these symbols are used to interact with other objects? You must be pretty much a ghost then.
SCP-XXXX-2: Yeah, I- Could we continue this sometime else? I don’t really want to think about how disconnected I am from everything else. I just need a little more time, if that’s possible. I don’t think your people will let me out anytime soon, and I can’t properly move, so if we could just… pause this, I can answer in detail later.
Researcher Davis: Alright, we got enough information for now. We’ll make sure to get you at least a humanoid containment cell, so you can be active for as long as you want. We’ll end the interview here.
<End Log, [15:34]>
Closing Statement: [SCP-XXXX-2 shows signs of depression associated with its condition. Although sapient, its physical abilities render any threat it poses null. Even so, its ability to carve anomalous symbols unto objects is of note, and the fact that it is inexperienced raises questions as to how it was taught the proper process.]
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-2 is to be secured at the site of its discovery, hereby designated Site-XXXX-A. Security cameras capable of high speed photography are to be placed in a 20 meter radius around SCP-XXXX-2 to capture an image of SCP-XXXX-1.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a pair of humanoid beings exhibiting anomalous capabilities tied to space and time, designated SCP-XXXX-1 and SCP-XXXX-2. The main ability that SCP-XXXX is able to display as a collective is free movement through both space and time. This requires both instances of SCP-XXXX to have physical contact with each other. When together, SCP-XXXX instances are able to phase through objects and travel through time, although they can be immobilized by separating them from each other.
SCP-XXXX-1 has the ability to travel through time unrestricted, at the expense of movement through space. SCP-XXXX-1 was initially encountered by the Foundation through a news report of a man screaming in midair in the outskirts of a small rural town. Site-XXXX-A was built to house it and the local populace was amnesticized. SCP-XXXX-1 is currently separated from SCP-XXXX-2, which immobilized it from the moment physical contact ceased. Due to the higher threat to secrecy SCP-XXXX instances would possess if able to roam freely, no attempt to reunite both entities should be considered.
SCP-XXXX-1 experiences time from its own perspective, often shifting through time unconsciously. Because of this, its appearance shifts from a middle-aged human to an aged human and vice versa constantly. SCP-XXXX-1 is unable to communicate for extended periods of time, as its mental state and ability to recall conversations is highly variable. SCP-XXXX-1 appears to have been removed from space, resulting in an intangible state, necessitating the creation of Site-XXXX-1.
The mental state of SCP-XXXX-1 rapidly deteriorates when interacting with its later stages in life. Following the events of Interview log XXXX-1, no attempt by SCP-XXXX-1 to communicate has been observed.
Due to the nature of SCP-XXXX-2, its description has been given in limited interviews with SCP-XXXX-1. It is described as a humanoid being similar to SCP-XXXX-1, with the notable difference that inversely to SCP-XXXX-1, SCP-XXXX-2 is able to move through space freely, at the expense of the ability to exist in time. Similar to its counterpart, SCP-XXXX-2 is able to move unbound by the dimension of space, although no sighting of SCP-XXXX-2 is possible at this time. As SCP-XXXX-2 is currently separated from SCP-XXXX-1, its ability to traverse time has been removed. This means that SCP-XXXX-2 is only able to exist in a negligible timeframe, rendering it effectively neutralized without the need for containment procedures.
Site-54’s cafeteria had just enough personality to exist, but not much else. The small break room that supplemented this particular building was new, and not many people used it on account of the much larger “main” break room a few floors down. Everything was brand new; coffee machines were immaculate, the microwave’s plate still spun, and every chair had a glossy finish. Researcher Davis entered the room arguing with his phone. The caller was indeterminate. Davis fumbled to get change for the vending machine, and almost dropped the phone in the process. After purchasing a bag of chips, Davis looked around. The room started to shift, with a few coffee mugs disappearing, and an idea was planted into the mind of researcher Davis. A single name was muttered into the phone, and it was all over. Even as a drone breached the room and quarantined the floor, Sarah Williams had already become part of the story.
“I finally got an assignment, and you better believe I’m not keen on going back to documenting anomalous objects.”
Researcher Davis was making a phone call when he entered a door labeled “Break Room”. The distraction that the phone call provided was enough to obfuscate the fact that the actual break room for this building was a few floors down.
“No, yeah, I get that I shouldn’t expect all assignments to go as well as this one. It’s just- I can see myself leading new projects now, after so long.”
Davis reached into his wallet. The coins at the very bottom seemed to dance around his hands, but he paid no attention to the way in which the coins refused to obey gravity.
“Anyway, what’s going on with you? I mean-“
“No yeah I totally get that, but not even a word?”
Davis finally got enough change out of his wallet to purchase a bag of chips. As the bag fell to the bottom of the machine, Davis realized what the problem with this room was.
“Uh… hey, I was just wondering, have you ever seen a break room with a vending machine in a Foundation site before?”
“I’m just saying, isn’t it illogical to have 2 break rooms in a single building?”
The voice behind the phone went silent.
“Hey, what’s wrong Sarah?”
Sarah immediately hung up the phone. This is bad. She thought, “that might be enough for it to get to me”.
Davis paid little attention to the call after it got cut. He sat down on a leather recliner, having a vague sense that he had forgotten something. “Oh well,” he thought, “Amnestics usually feel like this too”. He grabbed the bag of chips, and as soon as he opened the bag of chips, a drone burst through the door.
“THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM THE ‘PATAPHYSICS DIVISION”. The robot screeched. “THIS FLOOR HAS BEEN COMPROMISED BY AN ANOMALOUS ENTITY”.
Per 
