daveytheduckj

Item #: SCP-3927-J

Object Class: Keter Neutralized

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3927-J is to be kept in a standard humanoid cell. In a suite with a flat screen tv, king sized mattress, and anything else he wants can be added in later

Description: SCP-3927-J is a handsome and rogue¹ male by the age of 37, he is single and is extremely smart. SCP-3927-J holds SCP-3927-J-1 hostage and will make ludicrous perfectly reasonable demands that if the not completed, SCP-3927-J will damage SCP-3927-J-1. SCP-3927-J-1 is a small globe that rotates counter-clockwise at an extremely slow rate, seemingly on it's own. SCP-3927-J claims to have created the globe. Was responsible for making it because he is a genius and is totally cool and all the dumb "researchers" are too jealous to accept the fact that SCP-3927-J is super smart and did something they could not. SCP-3927-J-1 is a physical globe not presenting any borders or labels. SCP-3927-J-1 is an exact replica of earth, showing tiny cities if observed closely enough. SCP-3927-J-1 shows cloud formations that move and change every day. Hurricanes will form in the exact coordinates as a real hurricane is currently happening. Direct physical contact with SCP-3927-J-1 will damage both the globe and Earth.

Display Interview Log SCP-3927-A

SCP-3927-J: Josh: Joshua ███████

Interviewer: Dr. ████

<Begin Log>

Dr. ████: So tell me Mr. ███████—

SCP-3927-J: Josh: [Interrupting] Just call me Josh.

Dr. ████: Alright. So Josh, tell me… How did you get your hands on SCP-3927-J-1? It's a very destructive object.
SCP-3927-J: Josh: You mean the globe? I made it! Only I know how it works and only I know it's full potential!
Dr. ████: How exactly di—

SCP-3927-J: Josh: [Interrupting Being the funny and awesome person he is.] For the rest of this interview you have to talk in a high pitched voice! OR ELSE! [SCP-3927-J Josh positions his finger preparing to poke New York City]
Dr. ████: [Sighs] [Now in a funny high pitched voice] Fine. So how exactly did you make this globe?
SCP-3927-J: Josh: I can't tell you! Your not taking me seriously with that stupid voice!
** Dr. ████:** [In a high pitched voice] But you told me to do the rest of the interview in this voice!
SCP-3927-J: Josh: Exactly, now say your dumb and that I deserve a jet pack and a jacuzzi!
** Dr. ████:** [Sighs] [In high pitched voice] "I'm dumb and you deserve a jet pack and a jacuzzi."
SCP-3927-J: Josh: [Laughs so hard he nearly knocks SCP-3927-J-1 off the table, causing [REDACTED]]
** Dr. ████:** [Still in high pitched voice] All right we're not getting anywhere with this, turn end the interview.
<End Log>

Closing Statement: SCP-3927-J and SCP-3927-J-1 was sent back to his containment unit now with a jet propulsion backpack and a newly installed jacuzzi. Dr. ████ then stated "I hope he crashes that thing into a wall and dies" "What a funny guy! He totally deserves a PlayStation and a new phone!"

Addendum: List of disasters and lives lost to SCP-3927-J we don't need to see that.

Footnotes

1. SCP-3927-J requested to add some "fixes" to it's dossier. All of SCP-3927-J's changes are shown in italics.