Dec0ded1
Welcome to my corner of the sandbox.

About the writer:
I prefer comedic writing, there's a unique challenge to creating a sentence that inspires laughter.
I'm best at technical/descriptive writing, so I plan on stretching that muscle later on.
I am a massive firearms/weapons technology geek, with many years of research into them. If you need information on something in that realm or a "weapon role" cast contact me via wikidot DMs.

rating: 0+x

This was made after an idea I had, I drew random SCP designations from one hat, and random story prompts from another. Results were SCP-999 and Tactical.

The Breachers
"Stack up. Weapons free, Subject is extremely hostile."

Dima breaks open the containment door and rushes in before yelling back hesitantly

"I think there was an error… This thing is cute!"

Taken aback by Dima's uncharacteristically happy tone, the rest of the team pauses before an even stranger sound reaches their ears:

"Hehehe! Stop! Stop it! That tickles!"

As the uncontrolled laughter continues, Warner asks the obvious question:

"Do we intervene? He sounds happy, but it could be one those cognitohazard things."

"What does the Foundation have that isn't a hazard?" Mutters Jens.

Eagerly Anton speaks up "Don't they have a safe class? I heard they have an infinite pizza box!"

"Hehehe! M-my sides are cramping!" Dima squeals in the distance.

Out of curiosity Anton leans to look through the doorway, and is greeted by the odd sight of a 6'.2" Russian man in full black combat rigging laying winded on the floor as an adorable orange blob playfully wiggles one of the loose straps from his backpack.

"Hoo… heh… A-Anton, help me up…" Dima groans.

The blob looks at Anton, and starts making a noise that sounds like gurgling laughter.

"What is it, Anton?" Asks Jens slowly.

"Some kind of gelatinous creature, seems harmless enough."

"Harmless?! That crazed laughter didn't seem like something a 'harmless' creature would cause!"

The creature was at his feet now, staring up at him curiously.

"Hey little buddy, you're not mean, are you?" Anton asks as he reaches down to pick up the diminutive jelly blob, on contact his hand tingles.
It reminds him of having a fine feather run gently over his palm, but he can't contain the laughter that rushes to his mouth. "Sskunff!-Hahaha! Hoo, woo… Eigh…"

Internally Anton questions his sanity as he wakes up after passing out from an asthma attack, before quickly realizing the little blob-creature was staring at him concernedly.

Dima was now standing, yelling at Jens to "Get in here, you think this is funny?! Huh? You may be right, but I'll be damned if you don't get your share!"

He hears Warner stiffle a laugh, before Dima lashes out again: "Do you want a chance?! Hmm? I bet you do! Step right up and get your nerves fried!"

Anton finally can breathe enough to speak:

"We sh-should leave… Before security sh-shows up."