NEW: Wondertainment Anime Body Pillows™

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With new Dr. Wondertainment Anime Body Pillows™, your life can be filled with the presence of a waifu or husbando of your choice. If your attempts at securing a lover have been thus far unsuccessful, have no fear; our pillows have been carefully manufactured to simulate the sensation of a lover's embrace. Conquer adulthood and collect all seven varieties (with many more to come!).

Dr. Wondertainment cannot be held liable for the actions of any individual in possession of a Dr. Wondertainment Anime Body Pillow™ nor any damage caused to persons or property as a result of this possession. Dr. Wondertainment Body Pillows™ are protected under Article VIII of Magical Copyright Law™ and any previously copyrighted or trademarked characters depicted on Dr. Wondertainment Body Pillows™ are considered the provisional property of Dr. Wondertainment. Do not ignite a Dr. Wondertainment Anime Body Pillow™ under any circumstances.

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TO: Fildeby the Servile
FROM: The Grand Orchestral
SUBJECT: Body Pillows

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Fildeby,

We have a new product coming in, the schematics for which are attached below. Production of the initial stock needs to be completed in no more than one week's time.

Expecting great things from you,
The Grand Orchestral

TO: The Grand Orchestral
FROM: Fildeby the Servile
SUBJECT: Re: Body Pillows

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Orchestral,

Would it not be possible extend the deadline? I have conversed with Darryl From The Warehouse and have confirmed that this project's completion is unlikely within the given period.

Additionally, I would like to express concern with the attached schematics; the items slated for production are all of a questionable nature. They depict strikingly adult imagery quite unfit for children. Are you quite certain the schematics are correct?

Ever a wonder-maker,
Fildeby the Servile

TO: Fildeby the Servile
FROM: The Grand Orchestral
SUBJECT: Re: Body Pillows

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Fildeby,

The schematics were drawn up to by members of an associate group referring to themselves as 'Gamers Against Weed' and are intended for a teenage or young adult audience. Questioning your superiors and making this task more difficult than it needs to be may not reflect well in your upcoming performance review. The deadline is a week from now and will not be adjusted.

Expecting great things from you,
The Grand Orchestral

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Fildeby felt a profound resignation pour over her as she read The Orchestral's email. It was almost indistinguishable from others she had received from her superiors over the years. It seemed the only difference was the sender; her managers always seemed to find a promotion while she had remained ever the same.

Fildeby leaned back in her chair, the dead of night pierced only by the artificial glow of her monitor. She dragged her cursor across the screen to the attachments and scanned them once again.

Needlessly negligent cost-cutting measures? Check. Excessively flammable stuffing? Check. An absence of an interdimensional Better Business Bureau to report to? Check.

Fildeby’s species wasn’t psychic, but she felt like she was experiencing a vivid and foreboding premonition of the future. This new product was a disaster on almost every level; someone was going to get hurt, she would be called into a conference with her superiors and would be asked to explain herself, and she'd be sent back with another reprimand to add to her collection.

Her eyes drifted to a small slip of paper on her desk, given to her recently by an old acquaintance. Mindlessly, she picked it up and brought it to her eye.

Fildeby,

When we first met in the Library, we were wanderers searching for a home. I thought I had found mine rubbing shoulders with scientists and military men, and I assume you have found yours with Wondertainment.

I find it safe to say our fantasies of belonging were more misguided than we cared to admit. Things have become twisted, a nightmarish imagining of what we dreamt they would be.

Perhaps it is time we found a new home. Remember, the garden is the Serpent's place.

- Morgan

Fildeby the Servile placed the slip back on her desk and switched off the monitor. She had work tomorrow, and a very big project to oversee.

She'd think it over in the morrow.

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