Ali Kareem

A Photograph of SCP-XXXX

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept and locked in a 0.7 x 0.8 x 2 m containment locker in Storage Site-12. Access is permitted to any Junior researchers, or individuals of clearance level 2 or above who have been assigned to the item. During testing, SCP-XXXX may be removed from its locker and brought to a 5 x 5 x 3 m steel-concrete testing chamber reinforced by a nickel-iron based heat-resistant alloy. SCP-XXXX should be placed on the central pedestal within the chamber, unless the experiment details otherwise. Due to the anomalous properties of SCP-XXXX, no procedure must be carried out in transporting the object. All researchers conducting experiments on SCP-XXXX must document the apparatus requested for testing, and if granted, to also document the results of the experiment to SCP-XXXX Testing Log. Despite the non-volatile nature of SCP-XXXX, it is still necessary that the object be escorted to and from its locker and testing chamber by at least one armed guard, to ensure the safe arrival and retrieval of the object. Two armed guards must stand outside the chamber during testing at all times.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a 30 cm tall cuboid glass jar holding an assortment of pickled onions, gherkins and celery, sealed behind a steel screw-on lid, branded by a small firm, trademarked Coyle's Farm. The sides of the jar appear to be scratched, with one side of the jar seeming viscous, speculated to be due to the application of an adhesive substance to the surface of the object, likely to label the contents of the jar. SCP-XXXX has only ever been opened on two occasions, documented in SCP-XXXX Testing Log. The object is seemingly impossible to open through brute force, but its lid is easily twisted off by any individual expressing a strong fondness to pickled goods.. The object seems to feign sentience and free will, allowing individuals to open the lid at what appears to be its own discretion. As of yet, the jar has only ever been opened by 2 individuals. Consumption of approximately 20 grams of the contents of SCP-XXXX will lead to the object sealing its own lid shut. The contents of SCP-XXXX are said to be delicious, but no anomalous properties have been displayed by them. After 24 hours of inactivity, the contents¹ of the jar replenish. Whether the jar is taking its contents from other pickle jars, or if it has its own supply, is currently unknown.

+ SCP-XXXX-Testing Log

[Test-XXXX-1 - 09/07/2019]

Experiment: Attempting to screw off the lid manually
Procedure: Subject D-15493 was instructed to open the lid of the jar. They were not informed of the object's anomalous properties prior to their attempt.
Results: After 7 consecutive attempts at pulling open the lid, D-15493 professed an inability to open the lid.
Analysis: Subject is of average build, 173 cm tall, 40 years old and of Latin-american descent. He claims he is not fond of pickled foods, as he "likes his breath fresh and minty"

[Test-XXXX-2 - 16/07/2019]

Experiment: Attempting to shatter SCP-XXXX
Procedure: Subject D-22832 was instructed to enter the testing chamber and throw the object against any concrete surface.
Results: Upon attempting to destroy the object, the jar bounced violently off the west wall of the chamber, before hitting the subject and breaking his nose.
Analysis: Subject is 5 kg overweight, 187 cm tall, 55 years old and of semetic descent. Although the jar did hit the subject with a powerful force, it has been concluded that this was the subject's own fault, and that the object had not shifted from its calculated trajectory.

[Test-XXXX-2 - 09/12/2019]

Experiment: Attempting to shoot SCP-XXXX open
Procedure: Subject D-23348, accompanied by two armed guards on the south and west wall of the room, was instructed to shoot 25 rounds of ammunition from a Lewis machine gun into SCP-XXXX.
Results: The jar fell off its central pedestal, but no damage was sustained to it or any individuals in the chamber.
Analysis: Subject is well-built, 189 cm tall, 36 years old and of African-american descent. He was selected for this experiment due to his past experience in training with firearms. The two guards stationed in the room were instructed to terminate the subject if he attempted to shoot at any individual or apparatus nearby.

[Test-XXXX-3 - 26/02/2020]

Experiment: Attempting to screw off the lid manually
Procedure: Subject D-43551 volunteered to open the jar. He was instructed to manually pull off the lid. Subject had no prior knowledge of the anomalous properties of the object.
Results: The lid of the jar opened with little effort from the subject. Subject was allowed to consume a celery stick, 2 small onion rings and a gherkin. The subject immediately felt satisfied with his meal, and the lid sealed itself shut, much to the confusion of the subject.
Analysis: Subject is an 2kg underweight, 160 cm tall 18 year old and of Caucasian descent. He professes a fondness for pickled goods. Researchers believe that this jar can only be opened by individuals who truly want to open it and consume its contents.

[Test-XXXX-4 - 30/04/2020]

Experiment Attempting to lodge shrapnel into the jar to weaken it
Procedure Subject D-33247 was instructed to pull the pin on an M67 fragmentation grenade. He was then told to take cover behind a plexi-glass mesh screen on the south side of the room.
Results: the jar was thrown to the walls of the room, displaying the same violent bouncing it did in its second test. Although no damage was sustained to the jar, the plexi-glass was damaged by both shrapnel and the jar.
Analysis Subject is considered morbidly obese, is 170 cm tall and 56 years old, of mixed descent. He has no prior experience in use of firearms.

[Test-XXXX-5 - 31/05/2020]

Experiment: Attempting to screw off the kid manually
Procedure: Subject D-13371 was instructed to open the lid of SCP-XXXX. He had no prior knowledge of the object's anomalous properties.
Results: Subject opened the jar with little resistance from SCP-XXXX. Subject was allowed to consume the contents of the object, which seem to have have replenished since last consumption. The subject voiced his delight at the taste of the pickled goods before the lid sealed shut on its own accord once more.
Analysis: Subject is of average build, 183 cm tall, 34 years old and of Caucasian descent. He expresses a fondness for pickled gherkins.

Footnotes

1. [The jar holds a maximum of 100 ml of a spiced vinegar preservative solution, 7 pickled gherkins, 2 large pickled onion rings, 4 smaller pickled onion rings and 3 small sticks of celery ]