Desidia

Item #: SCP-5XXX

Object Class: Thaumiel

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5XXX is currently uncontained and granted standard researcher access to site-██. SCP-5XXX is to be treated as a standard Foundation researcher and granted requests through regular protocols with extra consideration taken to potential SCP-5XXX-1 instances. Knowledge of SCP-5XXX's identity existence should only be known by individuals with level-4 security clearance. SCP-5XXX is, under no circumstances, to ever learn of their designation as a Foundation specimen and should have all reasonable actions taken to keep them under the employment of the Foundation.

A dozen cans of ████████ brand soda should be stocked in all break room vending machines. In the case that SCP-5XXX's access card be used to purchase a ████████ brand can of soda, the site manager is to be immediately notified, followed with a potential site wide breach alert. Should the site manager become unreachable, any assigned personnel are clear to initiate a site wide breach alert. Following the events of FILL IN ADDENDUM HERE, around-the-clock surveilance on SCP-5XXX is to be maintained to ensure the Foundation know of any soda aquisitions made in SCP-5XXX's free time.

Description: SCP-5XXX is a Foundation researcher by the name of Dr. [REDACTED]. SCP-5XXX's height and weight congruent to national averages and all regularly scheduled Foundation staff medical examinations have shown that SCP-5XXX has no physiological abnormalities. SCP-5XXX is currently unaware of their designation.

Note from site-██ manager: "These redactions are here for a reason. Any personnel who investigates further than their jurisdiction or engages in 'water-cooler' talk on the matter will be punished and may even have their knowledge revoked via a liberal quantity of amnestic treatment if I'm feeling particulary merciful. I don't even want the numbers '5XXX' to be spoken in a 10km radius of this site, understand?"

SCP-5XXX's anomolous properties are tied to any personal or professional projects SCP-5XXX is currently engaged in, hereby referred to as instances of SCP-5XXX-1. Anomolous event SCP-5XXX-2 occurs in the form of SCP-5XXX consuming a can of ████████ brand soda. This consumption occurs despite SCP-5XXX's repeated vocalization of their hatred for it based on both the ████████ brand's unethical practices and a preference to the taste of their competitor brand, █████. 2 to 16 hours after the consumption, an event will occur upon an instance of SCP-5XXX-1 that will either destroy or greatly hinder it.

SCP-5XXX-1 instances can range between anything from a proffesional assignment to investigate another anomolous object to personal projects undertaken in the specimens free time. It has so far been impossible to force a specific SCP-5XXX-1 instance to occur. SCP-5XXX requires genuine interest or enthusiasm in a project for it to become an instance of SCP-5XXX-1. All cases of SCP-5XXX-1 instances connected to containment of high-risk specimens have proven SCP-5XXX to be an effective method of precognition for containment breaches, giving time for precautionary measures to be taken. All attempts at preventing an SCP-5XXX-2 eveny using the precognition time have resulted in [REDACTED] and are not to be persued. SCP-5XXX's anomolous effect is only to be used for preemptive damage control and preperation for recontainment or reconsolidation of the affected SCP-5XXX-1 instance.

Addendum 1: The following are Dr. Gables formative experimental logs, notes and journal extracts documenting of the initial investigation and discovery of SCP-5XXX's anomolous effects.

Extract from Dr. Gables journal - 2016-03-24

Something odd happened with [SCP-5XXX] today. [SCP-5XXX] had a can of ████████… [SCP-5XXX] has been complaining for months that the vending machines should stop stocking it cause it tastes like shit, yet there [SCP-5XXX] was, sipping it like a twelve-year scotch. Later on the poor sod had [their] pet project cancelled due to budget cuts. Should've seen it coming if you ask me, the Foundation loves diverting assets at a moments notice.

Extract from Dr. Gables journal - 2016-04-09

It happened again… [SCP-5XXX] drank the same damn soda again… But that ain't all… By the end of the day, the containment on one of [their] assignments broke, some janitor lost a finger. There's coincidence, and then there's just straight up rediculous odds. I think I want to test something here.

Log 5XXX-1 - 2016-05-21

Basis: There appears to be an anomolous connection between [SCP-5XXX] consuming this specific type of soda followed by some form of failure that effects [SCP-5XXX] but occurs beyond their control.
Procedure: Switch off [SCP-5XXX]'s computer's auto-save and get a janitor to trip over [SCP-5XXX]'s computer cables to disconnect them at exactly 14h00.
Results: [SCP-5XXX] lost progress on the report write-ups they were working on. No soda consumption occured.
Notes: "Yeah, I need to think bigger." - Dr. Gables

Log 5XXX-2 - 2016-06-02

Basis: [SCP-5XXX] has a proposition meeting with site management at 16h30 that their team has been working on tirelessly for a month. Meetings with site management take a long time in advance to organise, especially for a lower level researcher.
Procedure: Trigger the fire alarms in the meeting room via remote timer to force the meeting to be delayed.
Results: Meeting was succesfully delayed until further notice. ████████ brand soda can was found in [SCP-5XXX]'s desk bin at 16h19 after they left for the meeting.
Notes: "Two's a coincidence, three's a pattern. This warrants opening a request to make [SCP-5XXX] an official Foundation case, I could use the extra testing resources. I'll put in the paper work with management, it shouldn't take long to be approved if they see the same potential in this that I do." - Dr. Gables

[logs omitted for brevity]

Log 5XXX-6 - 2016-09-19

Basis: [SCP-5XXX] is a hobbiest writer and has previously mentioned they are close to completing their first novel.
Procedure: Have Dr. [REDACTED] remotely access [SCP-5XXX]'s home computer network and corrupt the writing project as well as any backups at 11h00.
Results: SCP-5XXX consumes a can of the soda at 08h24. [SCP-5XXX] arrives at the office the next day in a sad state. When pressed on their mood, they mention that a personal project was ruined.
Notes: "This proves my hypothesis that candidate projects for the anomoly are decided by both emotional and time investment by [SCP-5XXX]. The real question now is… What must occur to a candidate project to trigger this subconcious precognitive effect? I must do further testing, for the sake of the Foundation" - Dr. Gables

Extract from Dr. Gables journal - 2016-10-03

I've gotten Dr. [REDACTED] to help me out with setting up some of R&D's fancy new monitoring hardware into [SCP-5XXX]'s cellphone without him noticing. The problem is the lack of data. It's very difficult to perform experiments without alerting [SCP-5XXX] to whats going on, so more avenues of information will streamline the process. I heard that Dr. [REDACTED] has been working on some powerful software to make processing all of that communication data into something useful happen automatically, so I'll go see if I can make it happen. Will probably need get some extra processing time on the server to run it. Luckily for me, I should have a favour or two that I can call in to fix that.

Log 5XXX-7 - 2016-11-17

Basis: It has yet to have been tested whether you can prevent the occurance of an event following [SCP-5XXX]'s anomolous effect.
Procedure: Have junior researcher [REDACTED]
Results:
Notes: "" - Dr. Gables

Log 5XXX-6 - 2016-09-19

Basis:
Procedure:
Results:
Notes: "" - Dr. Gables

Addendum 2: [Optional additional paragraphs]