Per 
Item #: SCP-5038-J
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Objects are contained in standard low security containment locker at Site-77.
Description: SCP-5038-J collectively refers to a crate of 1000 997 990 individual packages of "Dr Wondertainment's Authentic Sweed-ish (sic) FishTM". The front of these packages are nearly identical to M████ brand S████ F██, except for the apparently intentional misspelling. The back of the package contains a product description and consumer warning.1 The candy contained in each package (collectively referred to as SCP-5038-J-1) is similar in appearance to the candy of similar name, with the exception of the heads, which resemble the head of the Muppet known as the "Swedish Chef" and a pair of arms on each candy.
On consumption of one or more of SCP-5038-J-1, the subject, hereafter referred to as SCP-5038-J-1A, will become incapable of any vocalizations, aside from those in a similar style to the Muppets' "Swedish Chef". This mock-Swedish will be accompanied by wild pointing and hand gestures, which while visually nonsensical, in tandem with the new vocalizations of SCP-5038-J-1A, will be generally understood by any observer. While SCP-5038-J-1A may be understandable, observers will be aware under questioning that all vocalizations make no objective sense. All instances of SCP-5038-J-1A are able to understand the entire Swedish language, regardless of previous aptitude. SCP-5038-J-1A's intent will also be understood by any individual, regardless of languages they comprehend.
After consumption of more than 10 instances of SCP-5038-J-1, SCP-5038-J-1A will generate the ability to anomalously materialize objects (hereafter referred to as SCP-5038-J-2) from behind his/her back, either to better convey a thought, or to begin cooking with. Once this ability manifests, the subject instance is referred to as SCP-5038-J-1B. It is noted that any meal created with the objects materialized, (hereafter referred to SCP-5038-J-3) will be objectively delicious, sapient, and will encourage any observer to consume them, constantly remarking on how good they will taste.
If an individual subject consumes an entire package of SCP-5038-J-1, over any length of time, he/she will physically transform into a 1.5 meter tall instance of SCP-5038-1, (hereafter referred to as SCP-5038-J-1C) which despite its fish body will be able to maintain standing balance at all times. Its head and arms will appear to be made of felt or similar material, but on direct inspection are determined to be the same candy substance as an instance of SCP-5038-J-1. Otherwise, a subject maintains the same behavior as an instance of SCP-5038-J-1B.
To date, no subject has been able to be reverted from SCP-5038-J-1A, despite strong application of Class-B amnestics.
History: On ██/██/████ , the entire crate of SCP-5038-J, materialized in front of the main door of Site-77 with a note attached.2
Addendum 5038-J-1:
New from Dr. Wondertainment, Sweed-ish FishTM!
The perfect snack for curious kids who want to communicate more with EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE!
The latest product from Dr Wondertainment will give you a whole new outlook on life! Have you ever wanted to be understood more clearly, or to understand others who don't speak your language? Well now you can! With the best new product from Dr Wondertainment, you can get a grasp on new languages just by eating!
Look for others in our great new line of Language FishTM!
Dr Wondertainment is not responsible for any negative effects associated with consumption of Sweed-ish FishTM, or resulting from unintended exposure. Consume at own risk.
Addendum 5038-J-2:
Dear Foundation
Dr Wondertainment Enterprise has decided to stop production of the Language FishTM line of products, after initial negative reception, and unintended secondary anomalous effects. We appreciate your organization's previous interest in our products, and hope you will enjoy these Limited Edition candies.
Especially Sincerely,
Dr. Wondertainment
Test A - ██/██/████
Subject: Male D-Class Personnel D-87219, with no noted mental deficiencies.
Procedure: Subject ate a single instance of SCP-5038-J-1, and was then observed for 4 hours.
Results: Immediately after consumption, subject began speaking in mock-Swedish and gesticulating wildly as he spoke. Subject's general mood seemed generally improved and he politely conversed with posted guard in this state for the remainder of the test period.
Analysis: SCP-5038-J-1 appears to have a cognitohazardous effect on consumers, making them generally more agreeable, and seemingly affable to their new circumstances. SCP-5038-J-1A appears to have mild cognitohazardous effects on observers, making them fully accepting of the new condition of SCP-5038-J-1A.
Test B - ██/██/████
Subject: Female D-Class Personnel D-84816, with mild speech impediment.
Procedure: Subject was given the partial bag of SCP-5038-J-1 from first test and told to consume as many as they would like.
Results: Subject happily began eating candies, stating that S████ F██ is her favorite snack. She began conversing with guard after her speech changed, seemingly unaware of any difference. After the tenth candy was consumed, subject set down the bag of candy and began telling a story to the guard about her childhood. At this time, she began pulling objects from behind her back, and testing was halted in lieu of safety concerns.
Analysis: SCP-5038-J-1 seems to have a consumption threshold, at which point additional anomalous properties manifest themselves. This likely explains why Dr Wondertainment decided to forego distribution.
Test C - ██/██/████
Subject: Male D-Class Personnel D-81062, with severe antisocial personality disorder.
Procedure: Subject is given the remainder of the SCP-5038-J-1 bag remaining from test 1 and told to eat as many as he likes.
Results: Subject began happily eating from the bag, initially stating that he hadn't seen S████ F██ in "forever". Subject conversed with guard normally, as in previous tests, but became apparently disinterested in the candies after consuming 6 of them, at which point, he indicated to testing personnel that he had eaten enough. Discussion was held among researchers, and it was decided to delay testing temporarily to determine if a chronological threshold existed for total secondary anomalous effects. Testing resumed after a 120 minute break, during which time, subject continued conversing with guard, as in previous testing. Subject ate another 20 instances, but displayed no additional anomalies, beyond those observed in previous tests.
Analysis: Once again, subject displayed no hostility toward containment staff, even when abilities presented, capable of injuring staff. It seems that SCP-5038-J-1 has either no additional properties, or a higher threshold is necessary for further anomalous effects to present. We will conduct additional testing to determine if tertiary effects exist.
[Test Logs Redacted for Brevity]
Based on previous tests, it is apparent that regardless of a subject's personality prior to consuming SCP-5038-J-1, subject will become fully amenable following any level of consumption, making additional containment procedures for SCP-5038-J-1A/1B unnecessary.
Test I - ██/██/████
Subject: Male D-Class Personnel D-75926, with severe homicidal tendencies.
Procedure: Subject given entire unopened bag of SCP-5038-J-1, and informed to consume the entire bag at his leisure in his cell.
Results: Subject consumed entirety of SCP-5038-J-1 instances he was given, over a 25 minute period. Subject showed expected results, until consumption of final SCP-5038-J-1 instance. At this time, subject instantaneously transitioned into an instance of SCP-5038-J-1C. Subject did not appear to notice this transition, and merely waited in his cell, until guards arrived 3 minutes later.
Analysis: It seems that there are no additional anomalous effects caused by SCP-5038-J-1C, aside from the physical transition associated with it. Other anomalous properties remain consistent with standard SCP-5038-J-1B instances.
Why don't we feed this stuff to all antisocial D-Class personnel, and turn them into SCP-5038-J-1A? They are much more easily containable in this state, and show few anomalous properties. - Researcher D████
We can't interfere with established baselines for testing parameters, just to make guard duty easier! - Doctor E████
