Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is contained in a standard anomalous item locker. Due to unpredictable anomalous effects manifesting in items affected by SCP-XXXX, testing is restricted to researchers with security clearance level 2 and above, and with the written approval of the site director and project research lead Dr S Herman. As of Test XXXX-Delta, all tests are to be directly supervised by Dr S Herman.
Following Test XXXX-Golf and the creation of a currently uncontained cognitohazardous entity, testing of SCP-XXXX is to be suspended indefinitely.
Dr. S Herman - Research Lead, SCP-XXXX
SCP-XXXX is currently contained in a high-security anomalous item locker.
Non-perishable instances of SCP-XXXX-A should be stored in separate standard anomalous item lockers. Perishable instances of SCP-XXXX-A should be placed in frozen anomalous item storage. Due to unpredictable anomalous effects manifesting in SCP-XXXX-A instances, individual containment strategies may be required for certain instances.
Applications for samples of SCP-XXXX-A instances for testing should be made to Dr S Herman.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a circular, open loop, plaited copper bracelet, 1 cm wide with an internal diameter of 10 cm, bearing a Latin inscription on the inside surface reading ‘Omnis Minus Adjuvat’. When worn, any ‘own brand’ retail product touched by the wearer will be transmuted into an equal quantity of a ‘name brand’ equivalent product, hereafter referred to as SCP-XXXX-A, complete with any proprietary packaging. SCP-XXXX appears to have no anomalous effect on the wearer, but transmutations will occur in line with the wearer's preference.
SCP-XXXX-A instances are superficially indistinguishable from their mundane counterparts, however, each instance of SCP-XXXX-A is itself anomalous in some way. These anomalous properties do not seem to always be intrinsically linked to the type of product, nor are they consistent even between SCP-XXXX-A instances of the same product (See Addendum XXXX-1). Transmuted product packaging (boxes, heat-sealed packaging, cardboard sleeves, plastic/glass bottles, etc.) have been found to be completely mundane.
Details of Recovery: SCP-XXXX was recovered on ██/██/201█ from the body of Mr ████ ██████ in [Redacted], England, after his body was found by neighbours after ‘sounds of a struggle’. A fruit-bearing specimen of Vitis vinifera L. (common grapevine) was growing out of his mouth, with a fully developed root system protruding from his anus and into the sofa on which he was found, having grown through his entire digestive tract. Subject was destitute and collected weekly unemployment benefits, but despite this, three full 1-litre bottles of Hennessey VSOP cognac were found in his kitchen, with a further bottle opened and partially consumed found by his body. A receipt recovered from among the full bottles showed that he had purchased ten 1-litre bottles of ‘Napoleon’ VSOP cognac from the local ‘ASDA’ supermarket as well as six other items, four of which were found to have become SCP-XXXX-A instances. Remaining bottles of own-brand cognac found in the kitchen were unaffected
SCP-XXXX was found to be the source of the anomaly after video was recovered from subject’s mobile phone showing him placing SCP-XXXX on his right wrist then touching four of the ten bottles with his right index finger, each one becoming an instance of SCP-XXXX-A (designated SCP-XXXX-A01 to A04). Subject then removes one bottle and takes it to the living room where he opens it and drinks roughly 150 ml of SCP-XXXX-A04 directly from the bottle.
Signs of discomfort are visible after a few seconds, followed shortly by panic as the V. vinifera specimen emerges from his mouth. Death from asphyxiation follows shortly after, and the V. vinifera specimen reaches full maturity in roughly 90 seconds.
Class A amnestics were administered to witnesses and emergency first responders. Amnestics were not deemed necessary for supermarket staff that had served the subject, as intelligence suggests he regularly bought alcohol in large quantities.
A postmortem examination was carried out in situ as the root system made removal of the body to a Foundation medical facility impractical. Body, V. vinifera specimen, and sofa were separated after sensitive work was complete and all incinerated after further examination confirmed that the V. vinifera specimen and the body of Mr ██████ were both non-anomalous.
Addendum XXXX.1: SCP-XXXX-A instances found during item recovery.
A comparison of items in Mr ██████'s residence with items on recent purchase reciepts was made in an effort to find other SCP-XXXX-A instances within the property. Eight (8) total instances were found within the property, and are as follows.
Item Number: SCP-XXXX-A01
Pre-Transmutation: 1 L ASDA Napoleon VSOP Cognac
Post-Transmutation: 1 L Hennessey VSOP Cognac
Anomalous Properties: Possesses a minimum pH of 2 at 25 °C, increasing toward pH 14 at a maximum of 78.2 °C. Ethanol in SCP-XXXX-A01 is capable of acting as an acid and a base. If distilled and collected, ethanol becomes non-anomalous. When reintroduced to the remaining liquid, anomalous properties are regained. Additional ethanol added does not appear to attain anomalous properties.
Notes: 990 mL remaining.
Item Number: SCP-XXXX-A02
Pre-Transmutation: 1 L ASDA Napoleon VSOP Cognac
Post-Transmutation: 1 L Hennessey VSOP Cognac
Anomalous Properties: Drinker will be compelled to speak six random integers between zero and ten in their native language per 1 ml consumed. Analysis of 50 sets of between 30 and 300 random integers produced by the effect of SCP-XXXX-A02 on five D-Class personnel (total 2880 integers from consumption of 480 mL) suggest integers produced follow no pattern and are completely random. D-Class personnel have no memory of dictating these integers, nor do they have any memory of the integers dictated. D-Class were supervised for a number of weeks following consumption of SCP-XXXX-A02, and showed no long-term effects. Intoxication and rise in blood alcohol content were as expected.
Notes: 510 mL remaining.
Item Number: SCP-XXXX-A03
Pre-Transmutation: 1 L ASDA Napoleon VSOP Cognac
Post-Transmutation: 1 L Hennessey VSOP Cognac
Anomalous Properties: Extremely hygroscopic. Capable of drawing ≤171% of its own mass in water from the air without undergoing any physical or chemical change. There appears to be no way of removing the water once absorbed.
Notes: 990 mL remaining.
Item Number: SCP-XXXX-A04
Pre-Transmutation: 1 L ASDA Napoleon VSOP Cognac
Post-Transmutation: 1 L Hennessey VSOP Cognac
Anomalous Properties: Detailed in recovery log.
Notes: 840 mL remaining.
Item Number: SCP-XXXX-A05
Pre-Transmutation: ASDA Smart Price 10 Fish Fingers
Post-Transmutation: Birds Eye 10 Cod Fish Fingers
Anomalous Properties: Each fish finger possesses four appendages closely resembling the fingers of a 6-8 month old human infant, arranged side-by-side on one end. When defrosted these fingers are capable of providing limited locomotion. The entities will always tend to move toward the nearest source of heat, and do not react to sound or visible light. No higher function observed. Entities have a life-span of roughly 12 hours once defrosted, and will perish if exposed to blunt force, heat above 60 °C, or if cut with a blade.
Notes: 5 remaining frozen in packaging.
Item Number: SCP-XXXX-A06
Pre-Transmutation: ASDA Baker's Selection Square Cut Medium White Bread
Post-Transmutation: Warburtons Medium White Bread
Anomalous Properties: Each slice will increase the consumer's density by 30% when eaten. If multiple slices eaten simultaneously (e.g. in a sandwich) effect is cumulative (2 slices = 60% increase). Muscle strength and skeletal integrity do not increase in line with density.
Notes: 14 slices remaining.
Item Number: SCP-XXXX-A07
Pre-Transmutation: ASDA Paracetamol 500 mg tablets (16 pack)
Post-Transmutation: Panadol Advance 500 mg Paracetamol tablets (16 pack)
Anomalous Properties: Each tablet taken orally will decrease the consumer's height by 15.8 cm. Relative scale is maintained across the body. Death from multiple organ failure generally occurs after three tablets consumed consecutively, but more can be taken without death occurring if no more than 2 tablets are consumed within a two-month period.
Notes: 5 tablets remaining.
Item Number: SCP-XXXX-A08
Pre-Transmutation: ASDA Zip-Seal Food and Freezer Bags Medium
Post-Transmutation: Ziploc Heavy-duty Freezer Bags
Anomalous Properties: [Data Expunged]
Notes: Further testing of SCP-XXXX-A08 and the [Redacted] within is hereby prohibited until further notice. No exceptions. -Dr ████████, site director, Site ██.
Addendum XXXX.2: SCP-XXXX test logs.
There follows a log of tests performed using D-class personnel equipped with SCP-XXXX.
Test XXXX-Alpha - ██/██/201█
Subject(s): D-8494, IC1 male, 38.
Researcher: Dr S Herman
Materials: 1 L ASDA Napoleon V.S.O.P Cognac (recovered from residence of Mr ██████)
Procedure: Subject instructed to wear SCP-XXXX on his left wrist and touch the bottle with his right index finger.
Results: Bottle instantaneously transmuted into 1 L bottle of Courvoisier VSOP Cognac (designated SCP-XXXX-A09). When questioned as to his preferences in cognac, subject expressed favour for Courvoisier, and claimed to have never tried Hennessey.
Subject instructed to open the bottle and measure 10 mL of SCP-XXXX-A09 into a provided glass vial using a pipette. This was done without incident. Subject additionally instructed to consume a 25 mL measure using the brandy glass provided. When asked to describe any sensations he was feeling after consuming roughly half of this, despite speaking normally the volume of his voice had increased to roughly 95dB.
Subject was instructed to consume the remainder of SCP-XXXX-A09 in the glass. No further increase in the volume of the subject's voice was noted. Effects subsided after roughly 40 minutes, but the subject reported having a sore throat for two days afterwards. No other long term effects were noted.
Notes: It does not appear to matter on which wrist SCP-XXXX is placed, so long as it is worn. Potential link of transmutation results to subject's preferences?
-Dr S Herman
Test XXXX-Bravo - ██/██/201█
Subject(s): D-5572, IC1 male, 33. D-7342, IC1 male, 34.
Researcher: Dr S Herman
Materials: 2 x 330 mL cans Tesco Cola.
Procedure: D-5572 instructed to place SCP-XXXX on his wrist and touch one of the two cans, then remove SCP-XXXX. D-7342 instructed to repeat this with the other can.
Results: Subjects selected based on their preferences for Pepsi cola or Coca Cola. D-5572 preferring Pepsi, and D-7342 preferring Coca Cola.
Upon touching their respective cans, transmutation occurred in line with each subject's preferences (Pepsi can designated SCP-XXXX-A10, Coca Cola can designated SCP-XXXX-A11). SCP-XXXX-A10 and A11 remain unopened in safe anomalous item storage to gauge the efficacy of keeping SCP-XXXX-A instances unopened as a containment method.
Notes: These results would appear to fit the previous hypothesis. Integrity of the cans appears to be holding as of ██/██/201█ and will remain the long term containment method of choice for SCP-XXXX-A instances of this type.
-Dr S Herman
Test XXXX-Charlie - ██/██/201█
Subject(s): D-3862, IC1 female, 40.
Researcher: Dr S Herman
Materials: 1 x Tesco Original Teabag
Procedure: Subject instructed to wear SCP-XXXX on his wrist and touch the teabag, then prepare tea using the resulting SCP-XXXX-A instance.
Results: Teabag became rectangular (originally circular) (now designated SCP-XXXX-A12). When questioned on her tea preference, subject said that she normally buys 'Yorkshire Tea' brand teabags. Results of previous tests, and distinctive shape of teabag, would suggest that SCP-XXXX-A12 is also this brand.
Up to 600 ml of boiling water poured over SCP-XXXX-A12 is instantaneously chilled to -195.8 °C, but remains liquid. This effect is not diminished by multiple uses, but requires added water to be within 6 °C of its boiling point at ambient atmospheric pressure. Water below this temperature added to SCP-XXXX-A12 will display no anomalous effect. Item must be thoroughly dried between uses.
Notes: Further testing has found no further anomalous effects. SCP-XXXX-A12 is now approved for use at Site ██ to produce coolant for low temperature applications. Use in anomalous item containment is awaiting Overseer approval.
-Dr S Herman
Test XXXX-Delta - ██/██/201█
Subject(s): Dr S Al-Riyami, IC4 male, 28. D-2324, IC1 male, 25.
Researcher: Dr S Al-Riyami
Materials: F&F Mens Chino Trousers, F&F Mens Long-Sleeve Oxford Shirt.
Procedure: In contravention of Foundation regulations prohibiting unapproved self-experimentation, subject gained access to SCP-XXXX under false pretense and used it to transmute the above items of his personal attire before being discovered by a colleague and detained.
Results: Clothing had been removed prior to transmutation. Trousers were transmuted into chino style trousers identical in size and colour, labelled as being made by the 'Scabal' tailors (Savile Row, London) (designated SCP-XXXX-A13). Shirt was transmuted into a shirt identical in size and pattern, also labelled as being tailored by Scabal (designated SCP-XXXX-A14). Notably, neither of these items appeared to be tailored to the subject's measurements, but were composed of superior materials and constructed to a higher standard.
When queried, no staff at the Scabal store on Savile Row could remember an order being placed for these items, nor could the construction of the items be recalled. However, the business ledgers did contain an order matching the items (though no name was attributed to the purchase), and the requisite materials were missing from their stores.
SCP-XXXX-A13 when worn acts similarly to a mechanical exoskeleton, providing assistance to any movement made by the wearer equal to 300% of subject's initial input. Item requires 'feeding' twice daily to maintain this effect, regardless of whether it has been used. This is achieved by placing any solid matter into the side pockets of SCP-XXXX-A13. This anomalous effect was discovered accidentally during testing involving D-2324, when D-2324 put his hands into the pockets of SCP-XXXX-A13. Subject experienced no pain until he noticed large bloodstains growing from the pockets. His hands had been cleanly amputated, and subject lost consciousness a few seconds later and expired soon after from exsanguination. Biological material is not necessary for feeding of SCP-XXXX-A13, and it is currently sustained on 400 g of compressed general waste pellets twice per day, diverted from on-site incinerator.
SCP-XXXX-A14 is capable of adaptive camouflage whenever the top button is fastened. No other anomalous effects or requirement for feeding (as with SCP-XXXX-A13) have been noted.
Notes: Dr Al-Riyami has been disciplined and reassigned. Note to all researchers; on pain of death, don't be a sodding moron. The guy we recovered this from had a damn grapevine growing out of his arse. If I catch anyone messing about with this thing, they might just find something altogether more Overseer-fist-shaped up theirs. You know the sort of things we work with here, use your brains.
-Dr S Herman
Test XXXX-Echo - ██/██/201█
Subject(s): D-9572, IC1 male, 30.
Researcher: Dr J Bell
Materials: 1 glass paperweight, purchased from maker at a local arts and crafts market.
Procedure: Subject instructed to wear SCP-XXXX and touch the paperweight.
Results: No effect.
Notes: Handmade items are apparently considered branded items.
-Dr J Bell
Test XXXX-Foxtrot - ██/██/201█
Subject(s): D-6623, IC3 male, 19.
Researcher: Dr P Miller
Materials: 1 female Rattus norvegicus (brown rat).
Procedure: Subject was instructed to wear SCP-XXXX on his wrist and touch the R norvegicus specimen.
Results: No effect.
Notes: I suppose you can't really get name-brand rats, can you? Was worth a try. -Dr P Miller
Test XXXX-Golf - ██/██/201█
Subject(s): D-7210, IC1 Male, 31.
Researcher: Dr O Webster
Materials: AmazonBasics 9V alkaline battery. Fire Angel photoelectric smoke detector.
Procedure: Subject was instructed to wear SCP-XXXX and touch the battery, then to install the resulting SCP-XXXX-A instance in the smoke detector after removing SCP-XXXX.
Results: Battery transmuted into a Duracell brand 9V alkaline battery (designated SCP-XXXX-A15). Anomalous effects manifested immediately upon installation in smoke alarm, resulting entity hereafter referred to as SCP-XXXX-A16.
SCP-XXXX-A16 is an incorporeal entity composed of electrical potential energy, and capable of moving uninhibited through physical matter. A smell of ozone is present within a radius of 6 m around SCP-XXXX-A16, which represents an olfactory cognitohazard. Anyone that detects the smell produced by SCP-XXXX-A16 will within the following week attempt to commit arson with intent to endanger life, either in their own home or in the home of a close friend or relative. If at least one person within the property dies as a result of the fire, the cognitohazard ends, but the subject's memory of events remains intact. As such, many affected by the cognitohazard will surrender themselves to police voluntarily. If unable to commit the act, if firesetting is unsuccessful, or if there is no fatalaty as a result of the fire, subject will continue their attempts on multiple properties until a death is caused. This cognitohazard can be counteracted with the administration of amnestics. Those unable to detect the smell due to anosmia or obstruction of the nostrils will not be affected.
SCP-XXXX-A16 is as yet uncontained, and is thought to be responsible for the sudden increase in fire deaths in the nearby town of ███████. Foundation agents are monitoring all UK police forces for arrests pertaining to arson, and taking possession of those thought to have been affected by SCP-XXXX-A16. Since its containment breach, SCP-XXXX-A16 is thought to have been responsible for the commission of ██ acts of arson, resulting in the deaths of ██ people.
Notes: Following the creation of an as yet uncontained anomalous entity, I am suspending testing at least until I get word from the Overseers. SCP-XXXX has been moved to high security anomalous item storage. We can't afford another XXXX-Delta.
-Dr S Herman