The bucket full of ideas.
rating: 0+x

Hey guys. Name's Worth. Janitor Worth. That's my legal name, by the way.

Yeah, yeah, snicker about it. But at the very least keep your shit down for about 10 minutes. Alright? Cool. So, first off, welcome to the Foundation. Instead of cleaning up after hotels or scrubbing down office desks, you get to do the same thing but for a shadowy organization.

Cool shit, am I right?

So, I've been working for the lab coats since the 90's. And I've learned a lot in that time. I've learned things that are practical in no other field but this one. And today, I'm gonna teach you some of those things I learned. Take notes, or don't.

Lesson 1. Don't let the egg heads fuck with you. They're smart, so they think their above you and your barely passing high school diploma. They're going to treat you like the trash you're cleaning up, and you're gonna want to feel that way. Don't. Remember that if you quit the their shit is now in their hands, not yours. I mean, judging by the lot of you, they'll have plenty of replacement, but just push that feeling deep down inside yourself and don't acknowledge it. Don't let the lab coats get you down.

Lesson 2. Don't lose your shit. You're going to be cleaning up after things that make Hollywood look tame by comparison. Now is it scary? Yeah, probably. Is fear just your brains way of trying to get you to puss out? Yeah. If you puss out of the job, guess who doesn't have a pay check? It's you. And looking around the room, I'm seeing some people who are absolutely going to leave after the first day. Listen, if you can't handle seeing a dead body, just quit now and go back to Dairy Queen.

Lesson 3. Learn how to weaponize janitorial equipment. Now, as previously stated, mopping up monster shit is dangerous. That's why, when worse comes to worse, you can always defend yourself. Most mop buckets make effective blunt damage weapons, and can be used to blind your opponents. And a mop is a pretty good substitute for a quarterstaff, and if you sharpen it can e-

What? I thought I could cover that part.

Fine.

Lesson 4. Leave mean notes on the desks of the lab coats. Especially ones that are anonymous.

Fuck you Todd, alright?

Lesson 5. Um…

Alright, listen. This job fucking sucks. Okay? It's dangerous as fuck, you're at the bottom of the totem pole, and worst off, you legally can't brag about the cool shit you do to anyone else. Now, if I were in all of your shoes, I'd bounce the fuck out of this room in this moment. But I didn't listen to the last guy, so now I'm telling you. If you can afford a few more days until you're destitute, I'd advise leaving.

To those with too much debt to actually leave, then, welcome to the club.

Alright? Let's show these lab coats how to use a mop.