Stubborn Noodles

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: All instances of SCP-XXXX are to be kept in a vacuum-sealed plastic bag at approximately 1.6ºC (35ºF) in a food-grade refrigerator. SCP-XXXX is to be surveyed weekly and any changes in the dimensions, color, or number of SCP-XXXX instances are to be analyzed.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a collection of seven five cooked wheat-flour noodles each measuring 0.5 cm in diameter and 26.2 cm in length, and weighing 3.03 g. SCP-XXXX have not been observed to decay, likely due to their anomalous properties. All instances of SCP-XXXX are functionally identical.

When the structure of an instance of SCP-XXXX is damaged in any way (See Addendum 1), the instance will regenerate to its initial dimensions after 22 to 45 seconds have elapsed¹. The method of regeneration is currently unknown, as a damaged portion of SCP-XXXX will simply "appear" in the given time frame. Recorded footage of this phenomenon has not yielded any substantial results, showing damaged sections of SCP-XXXX regenerating instantaneously between frames. If an instance of SCP-XXXX is bifurcated or otherwise reduced into multiple segments, the larger of the segments will regenerate and any remaining segments will lose all anomalous properties and become a non-anomalous noodle, ultimately decaying. If an instance of SCP-XXXX is completely destroyed, the instance will not regenerate and cannot be recovered².

Additionally, any matter placed in the space that a section of SCP-XXXX occupied before being damaged will be replaced by the portion upon regeneration. It is unadvised to "block" SCP-XXXX before it has finished regenerating, for risk of portions of the human body being replaced by a regenerated section of SCP-XXXX.

Instances of SCP-XXXX can be consumed with no observed ill effects, so long as over 50% of the initial object remains unconsumed. If 50% or more of an SCP-XXXX instance is consumed, it may cause injury due to it regenerating and replacing a portion of the digestive system. SCP-XXXX's flavor has been described as "bland".

Addendum 1: Testing Logs

+ Access Testing Logs

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Item: Kitchen knife

Outcome: Subject's largest segment regenerated in 27 seconds.

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Item: Finger of Dr. █████

Outcome: Subject was partially crushed, and regenerated after 23 seconds. Dr. █████ did not remove his finger from the noodle, which subsequently regenerated into it, injuring Dr. █████.

Notes: That [EXPLETIVE] noodle just ate my finger!
(Dr. █████ was discharged due to unsafe lab conduct.)

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Item: D-XXXX-1

Outcome: D-XXXX-1 was instructed to chew and swallow an instance of SCP-XXXX. 35 seconds after SCP-XXXX was swallowed, D-XXXX-1 expressed distress, and a small portion of SCP-XXXX was observed protruding from D-XXXX-1's upper abdomen. D-XXXX-1 successfully recovered and SCP-XXXX was extracted unharmed.

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Item: D-XXXX-2

Outcome: D-XXXX-2 was instructed to consume a small portion of an instance of SCP-XXXX. D-XXXX-2 did not express any discomfort, and SCP-XXXX regenerated without incidence after 26 seconds.

Notes: Why did I eat a noodle again?

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Item: Frying pan, vegetable oil

Outcome: Subject was fried for 31 seconds, turning a golden-brown color before returning to its initial state. After being removed from the pan 6 seconds after the first regeneration, subject regenerated 16 seconds later, eliminating the very slight change in texture caused by the 6 seconds in the pan. This second regeneration is the shortest known time taken to regenerate.

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Item: Blowtorch

Outcome: Subject was blackened and reduced in size, but returned to initial state after 33 seconds.

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Item: Blender

Outcome: After being reduced to a "slurry", subject regenerated from the largest chunk in 45 seconds. This is the longest known time taken to regenerate.

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Item: H₂FSbF₆ (Fluoroantimonic Acid)

Outcome: After being submerged in compound, subject dissolved completely within 21 seconds. Subject did not regenerate.

Notes: Okay, they aren't the most useful noodles in the world, but there are only six of them now, and we're not going to get that one back. Besides, what else are we going to do with these things? You guys can do the test with SCP-807, but that's it.

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Item: SCP-807

Outcome: [DATA EXPUNGED]

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Footnotes

1. The time elapsed has been theorized to scale with the severity of the damage, but because of the few tests performed, this is simply speculation.

2. An instance of SCP-XXXX were permanently destroyed in testing, while another instance was [REDACTED]. Further testing on SCP-XXXX is discouraged.