All Bark and No Bite
rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in an enlarged animal containment cell with a built-in pond replenished weekly with ample drinking water. Each day at 12:00 PM, SCP-XXXX’s trough is to be filled with a balanced meal of proper proportions.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a humanoid entity standing approximately 17.6 feet tall. It is stockily built and has trunk-shaped arms and legs. On both sides of its head are outward-facing horns approximately 4.9 feet long. SCP-XXXX’s skin shares the same texture and color of a pine tree, more specifically, an Abies Concolor. Patches of fur grow across its shoulder’s mimicking pine leaves. SCP-XXXX has two white beady eyes and lacks a visible mouth; nevertheless, SCP-XXXX has been able to eat and drink by unknown means.

SCP-XXXX first came to the attention of the foundation on the ██th of December, 195█. When reports of a missing police officer in El Paso County, Colorado were discovered, two field agents were sent to the town of ██████ to investigate.

Addendum 1:

What the field agents found was a remote self-sufficient mountain town. Peculiarly, however, the people of the town seemed absent. As agents ████ and █████ walked closer to the center of the town, singing could be heard. Through the window of a large Protestant church where the singing was coming from, the field agents could make out a large wooden sculpture of SCP-XXXX. At this point, the town was deemed to be run by an anomalous cult and further investigation would be needed. The field agents returned to Site-██ to report their findings and to request sufficient backup.

The following day, six members of Mobile Task Force Epsilon-6 (“Village Idiots”) were dispatched to conduct further research; each agent kept a voice recorder on their person. They successfully integrated themselves into the town by disguising as new residents. The townsfolk agreed to let the agents stay and invited them to attend the nightly sacrificial ceremony for the “Pine Walker,” a name that the townsfolk brought up repeatedly. They were advised to refer to the assumed god, SCP-XXXX, with “fearful respect.”

The members of MTF Epsilon-6 were to look for the missing officer, but also to engage with the townsfolk. While helping the town carpenter saw wood, Agent George █████ initiated an brief interview.

Interviewer: Agent George █████
Interviewee: John ███

<BEGIN LOG>

Ag. George: This… “Pine Walker” you people refer to… is it an angry god? A demon? Is it even real?

John: ssh-shut the fuck up… don’t ya know anything? What they’d do to you if… they found out??

Ag. George: Who’s they? The Pine Walker? What would it—

John: Yes… the fucking Pine Walker… keep your damn mouth shut… you don’t want to end up like Officer ████… do ya?

Ag. George: What happened to Officer ████?

John: They turned him into… one of the leaves…

Ag. George: Leaves? What the hell are you talking about? What do you—

John: DAMMIT! On his shoulders… the bastard…

Ag. George: So you’re telling me that you people sacrifice animals so you don’t become leaves? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever—how do you even know it wants these sacrifices?

John:

John refuses to answer any more questions, even ones not pertaining to SCP-XXXX.

<END LOG>

Meanwhile, while searching the church for the officer, Agent Langley ██████ stumbled upon a case of old photos in the priest’s office. The pictures depicted a much older rendition of the town and a version of SCP-XXXX which looked more like a domestic pet than an anomalous entity. Furthermore the patches of pine leaves on SCP-XXXX’s shoulders were much less dense.

While Agent Langley was sorting through the photos, a playful knock on the door to the office was picked up by the voice recorder. It was the priest. Showing a smile, he abruptly begins speaking to Agent Langley.

<BEGIN RECORDING>

Priest: Rummaging through my old photos I see!

Ag. Langley: JESUS Fuck—I mean… sorry, i-it’s not what it—

Priest: I understand. We all do. Don’t think we don’t know who you are, my son..

Ag. Langley: You… you do?

Priest: Of course! We knew someone would come to save us one day. I assume you’ve been looking for Officer ████. You are a policeman, right?

Ag. Langley: Erm… yes—I mean we—

Priest: Well I’m sorry to say this… but Officer ████ has been dead for a few days now. The Pine Walker got to him. The damned thing just keeps getting stronger…

Ag. Langley: Y-you’re saying that eating people makes it stronger? That’s just—

Priest: No my son… we are making it stronger. Our fear of the Pine Walker… our nightly gifts of cattle… this is making it stronger.

Ag. Langley: What? If you fear this thing so much… then why don’t you just stop feeding it?

Priest: It is too late to stop now, my son. Now come… let’s go find your police friends!

<END RECORDING>

At 6:00 PM, the members of MTF Epsilon-6 reassembled in an opening in the pine forest north of the town. Agents George and Langley reported their findings and a plan to capture SCP-XXXX was formulated.

Addendum 2:

At 7:30 PM, the townsfolk and MTF Epsilon-6 were seated in the mess hall for a banquet dinner. The priest stands up, tapping a glass.

<BEGIN RECORDING>

Priest: Ladies and gentlemen! If I may have your attention! As some of you may have already realized, the new members of our town are not here to stay… they are here to save us all!

Quiet chatter arises from the townsfolk.

Priest: I now invite Officer ███████ to speak. He has prepared a speech for you all tonight!

Agent Harold ███████ stands up, taking on the role of the police captain.

Ag. Harold: Hello, everyone! Yes… it’s true. We will not be staying here after tonight… but there is one member of this town who will be leaving as well! After tonight, you will never have to see the Pine Walker again! We shall kill this wretched beast, but we can not do it alone! We need your help!

Once again, the room fills with chatter. This time louder than before. Agent Harold waits for the townsfolk to quiet down before speaking again.

Ag. Harold: It has come to my attention that you all have been strengthening the beast by fearing it! So I beg of you all! You must leave this town tonight! We will deal with the beast in your absence! In the morning, you may return to this town. We will be gone, but you may all live in peace again! Now who’s with me!?

The townsfolk cheer with joy, raising their fists in the air.

Ag. Harold: Leave your possessions behind tonight… for tomorrow, you may work for yourselves and not for the benefit of the Pine Walker! For what is a king… without a people!? NOW MARCH!

Cheering louder than before, the townsfolk stand up from their chairs and form a marching line out the door.

<END RECORDING>

The townsfolk, led by the priest, marched approximately 25 miles to the closest town. With the town abandoned, MTF Epsilon-6 begins setting up the trap. Positioning a cow atop the altar in the center of the town, the agents readied their tranquilizer guns.

At 8:30 PM, SCP-XXXX slowly creeps from out the pine forest. Climbing atop the altar, it begins feasting on the cow. Immediately, each member of MTF Epsilon-6 fires their tranquilizer gun at SCP-XXXX. Although six darts entered the torso of SCP-XXXX, the first shot was enough to knock it to the ground.

The agents hoisted SCP-XXXX onto a positioned haul truck, covering the body with a polyester tarp. At 1:30 AM, the truck arrived at Site-██ and SCP-XXXX had been contained.

Addendum 3:

Ever since SCP-XXXX had been contained on the ██th of December, 195█, it has acted like a docile kitten. Following orders, eating and drinking properly, causing no harm. To this day, the Foundation is unsure as to why the town of ██████ took in SCP-XXXX as a pet, but without being loved or feared, the entity acts like one. The townsfolk were never administered amnestics, as the cover of the Foundation had not necessarily been compromised. To this day, the town of ██████ remains self-sufficient and has not spoken about the events of December, 195█. SCP-XXXX, however, will remain Keter until further notice.

Reclassification of object class pending.