Per 
Item #: SCP-????
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-???? Is to be monitored at all times by no less than 2 personnel. In the event of a containment breach at nearby Site 54, the personnel assigned should move to Site 54 to help re-containment of other SCP's. In case of a civilian coming into contact with SCP-????, personnel should wait until the exchange is over, and then apprehend the person or persons, and administer class B amnestics. Under no circumstance should personnel interrupt a conversation between SCP-???? and any other party. If SCP-???? is seen wandering beyond it's normal 50-100 kilometer radius, personnel should alert Head Researcher Yosik to begin testing.
Description: SCP-???? is a human male, approximately 1.75 meters in height, and 88.82 kilograms in weight. SCP-???? is often found wandering the █████ desert, specifically within the areas of the ███ ████ ██████ █████ ████, while humming the song "In the Shadow of the Valley". SCP-???? is extremely charismatic, and likes to debate with anyone about any polarizing topic. SCP-???? speaks in a southern accent, and is fluent in English, Latin, and Spanish. Conversations with SCP-???? usually result in a major change in viewpoint to anyone who conversed with it. Any person or persons who listen in do not experience this effect, only those who added something to the conversation. Some known topics that SCP-???? likes to discuss are listed below:
- Political views
- Abortion
- Gun laws
- LGBTQ+ rights
- Modernization
- Historical fallacies
- Human rights
- Extraterrestrial life
- Space exploration
- Religion
- Best musicians
- Game preferences
SCP-???? has not yet been observed eating, sleeping, drinking fluids, or resting. SCP-???? was discovered by the foundation when local authority's noticed a man in the middle of the desert, with no water canteen or source of food. Once questioned about the lack of basic resources, the man just walked away, and continued humming.
Addendum ????-A: Notable recorded interviews of SCP-????
Interview ????-1
<Begin Log, 8:21 AM>
Researcher ████: Excuse me, sir?
SCP-???: Oh, hi there! What can I do for you partner?
Researcher ████: I was wondering if you could answer a few questions for me?SCP-???: I reckon I could answer 1 or 2 for ya.
Researcher ████: Thanks. What's your name, for starters.SCP-???:My name is Dale, but most folks just call me D.
Researcher ████:** Alright. What are you doing out here, D?SCP-???:Just moving around, seeing the sights.
Researcher ████:** You've been out here for several days now, what else is there to see?SCP-???: Well, i'm looking for a species of armadillo, found only in these parts. I would hate to go back without finding it.
Researcher ████:**What type of armadillo?SCP-???:The banded guia monster. Some people think it isn't an armadillo, but if it looks like one and acts like one, why isn't it one?
Researcher ████:**Sir, the banded guia monster doesn't look anything like an armadillo. Are you okay, do you need any water?SCP-???? walks away from Researcher ████, and doesn't respond to further questions.
<End Log, AM>**Note for further tests: Under no circumstance, unless it is a last question, should researchers bring up food or water to SCP-???? while it is being interviewed. Failure to comply with this will result in a post change, and a possible fine.
Interview ????-2
<Begin Log, 11:20 AM>
Doctor ████: Howdy, D.
SCP-???: And hello to you. Have we met? My memory ain't what it used to be.
Doctor ████: No, but one of my friends talked to you a while back. I came to ask some more questions, if that's okay.
**SCP-???:Sure, go for it.
Doctor ████: Why do you hum that song? And what song is it?
**SCP-???:The song? I don't quite know the name of it. I heard it a long time ago, in a bar. Loved it ever since. It just stuck with me, and all I can remember is the tune.
Doctor ████: Do you mind humming it for me? I can record it and see what song it is later.
SCP-???:Oh would you? That would be mighty decent.
Doctor ████:** Thanks. We'll be back soon, and tell you what the song's name is.SCP-???: I'll be here.
<End Log, AM>**
Addendum ????-B: Notable recorded conversations with SCP-????
Test ????-22912
D-22912 was instructed to talk to SCP-???? about the meaning of life, as a way to get him talking about things beyond our current understanding
<Begin Log>
D-22912: This is is so stupid. Hey, you! Cowboy looking dude, can I talk to you?
SCP-????: Not cowboy looking, son. Just cowboy. And sure, we can chat a bit.
D-22912: I wanted to talk with you about the meaning of life, because you sure look like someone who has it all together.
SCP-????: I got enough sense to know that was an insult, but i'll oblige. I think the meaning of life isn't something we can know, or should know. It's something you experience. You don't understand it, you can't put it in words. Knowing the meaning of life, IS the meaning of life. If you knew it, it's like knowing the cards in poker before they're dealt. Sure, it's fun for a while, but then you just stop playing poker.
D-22912: Wow. That's…. wow. I never thought of it like that. You're some kind of genius, man! What other wisdom do you have?
SCP-????: I don't give out wisdom. I answer questions. If you wanna know something, yer gonna have to ask.
D-22912: Yeah, for sure. How can I get out of something I want to end?
SCP-????: Be more specific
D-22912: Like, say, a contract
SCP-????: Son, if you agreed to something you need to see it to it's end. Anything less than that is a disservice to yourself.
Personnel broke the meeting up between D-22912 and SCP-????, as this line of questioning could lead to a containment breach. D-22912 acted violently when removed, and tried to attack Agent █████. See special containment procedures for updated protocol.
<End Log]>
After the sudden shift in demeanor of D-22912, testing shifted from trying to learn SCP-????'s lack of food, to it's ability to manipulate someone.
Test ????-9982
D-9982 was instructed to engage SCP-???? in a debate about politics.
<Begin Log>
D-9982: Sir?SCP-????: What can I do for you, son?
D-9982: I was wondering if we could talk about politics
SCP-????: Boy can we. I can talk days on days about politics, but that there is a heavy topic to get into.
D-9982:Hey, opinions are like ████████, right? Everyone's got one.
SCP-????:Amen, brother. So, are you Republican or Democrat?
D-9982: Libertarian, actually.
SCP-????: Libertarian, eh? What, you don't like paying taxes?
D-9982: No man, I hate how the government is spying on everyone. Watergate is a prime example, nobody is safe anymore. We need to let people live their lives, no restrictions, no crimes, nothing.
SCP-????: Well, how do you reckon that less government is gonna stop that? People are still gonna spy, judge, be discriminate. Government is corrupt, sure, but getting rid of it doesn't solve the problem. And reducing it only removes the benefits it gives you, like safety. Economic security and things like that are all government based, you can't just let go of that. No, what you need, is a republican. We want freedom, just like libertarians, but with more financial security, and defense from terrorists.
D-9982:Huh. Republican, huh? Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. You should run, man. With a pitch like that I would totally vote for you!
SCP-????: Nah. Too much work. I'd much rather just be that weird old man wandering the desert.
D-9982: If you say so. Oh, I gotta get going. See you around.
SCP-????: Take care, now.
<End Log]>
After several interviews with D-9982, they stand proud on their new republican appeals, and won't even listen to any opposing viewpoint.
Test ????-1422
D-9982 was instructed to engage SCP-???? in a debate about gun laws
<Begin Log>
D-1422: Excuse me, do you have a minute?SCP-????: If I didn't, I wouldn't answer your question.
D-1422: I was wondering if we could talk about gun laws
SCP-????: You sure? You don't look like the debate type.
D-1422: What's that supposed to mean?
SCP-????: Well for starters you have a tracking chip on your cheek, seems to me you're just being forced to push some other agenda.
D-9982: What? Tracking chip? Oh, the foundations chip. Yeah, they put one on me, so what?
SCP-????: Well, I just think no man in his right mind would just up and let someone do that, is all.
D-1422: I didn't just let them, I had no choice. I was on death row, it was this or death, sue me for trying to live.
SCP-????: Son, don't be stupid. You ain't living. They put you in tests, and what happens at the end? They just let you go? After all you've seen? No way. You gotta escape, or you're just waiting to die.
D-1422: What? How could I escape, they watch us like hawks watch mice.
SCP-????: Well, I know of a few things you could get a hold of, it would help you out mighty if you could get them. Maybe you escape with them. Then, you come back here, hand over the items, and you book it. Can't be caught with evidence, yeah?
D-1422: Wow. What items in particular?
SCP-????: There are a few SCP items over at Site 54, some of which just might give you the advantage on the guards. If you want numbers, try to get SCP's ████, ███ and ████. Combined, you just gotta piece the puzzle together. Remember, you gotta be fast, and you gotta bring them here. Okay? Don't say anything. Just go. The guards won't stop you, not at first anyway.
<End Log]>
D-1422 then ran to Site-54, the guards let him in, and no personnel stopped D-1422, until he had already obtained the SCP objects. Presumed to be an effect of SCP-????. With SCP items ████, ███, and ████, D-1422 terminated 4 personnel, and injured 10 more. After this, D-1422 made a swift escape, gave the SCP objects to SCP-????, and then left. He was later caught, and terminated.
SCP-???? denied any involvement in the escape, and said it had no knowledge of the SCP objects. Researchers were convinced this was true, and finished questioning of SCP-????.
