Doctor Vivaldi

A Delusional Chunky Boom-Boom

SCP-XXXX on the day of its discovery

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to remain stationary in its containment chamber, which must always be designed as a standard researchers' staff room. Only members of the anomaly's associated research team may enter, and all members must take two months of acting classes prior to entry. Members must feign ignorance of the anomaly's presence at all times and must never interact or communicate with it. All observation must be done through one-sided windows or recording devices unless approved by Dr. Morozov. SCP-XXXX must be observed to complete its daily statistics announcement beginning at 12:00 a.m.; failure to complete or begin its daily announcement must be reported to Dr. Morozov and Dr. Shi immediately.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a sentient nuclear bomb with seemingly infinite knowledge of human statistics. The anomaly communicates through a built-in speaker, albeit exhibiting rudimentary enunciation; however, the entity has refused to discuss subjective topics and ideas, with the exception of its reverence for its creator and "the right time", both of which are unclear to the SCP Foundation. Researchers have identified no other unusual features in the bomb's composition.

Analysis of SCP-XXXX suggests that its explosion could destroy approximately 10 000 square kilometres, a number the object itself has corroborated. Attempts to disable or move the object have been unsuccessful. Destruction has not been approved due to uncertainty surrounding whether the anomaly would explode if destruction was attempted. The bomb claimed to expect to explode at "the right time", but due to the events of Incident XXXX-1, it is unexpected to explode as long as Foundation personnel follow the special containment procedures.

Addendum XXXX-1: On 1962/01/01, janitorial staff discovered SCP-XXXX announcing human statistics in a previously unoccupied testing chamber in Site-17. Following a report, researchers determined that all statistics announced were close to estimations. Project lead Dr. Alvey interviewed the bomb after discovering its ability to communicate.¹

Interviewee: SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Dr. Alvey, Project Lead

Foreword: Interview approved to identify SCP-XXXX's intentions and logic

<Begin Log, 1:00 a.m.>

SCP-XXXX: Yesterday, two humans died to [REDACTED].

Dr. Alvey: Have you finished your announcement, SCP-XXXX?

SCP-XXXX: Yesterday, 304 653 humans were born.

Dr. Alvey: Hello?

SCP-XXXX: Dr. Alvey is sitting in front of me.

Dr. Alvey: Hello, SCP-XXXX. Thank you for agreeing to see me today.

SCP-XXXX: I have not agreed to speak to Dr. Alvey today; however, I have not declined.

Dr. Alvey: Do you agree?

SCP-XXXX: I do not agree to Dr. Alvey's most recent request; however, I do not decline.

Dr. Alvey: (Pauses) Will you answer my questions?

SCP-XXXX: I will answer Dr. Alvey's questions to the extent allowed by my creator, of whose name I am unaware.

Dr. Alvey: Okay. May I ask how you calculate your statistics?

SCP-XXXX: (Pauses) My statistics determine the right time. Once this time is reached, I will explode, destroying approximately 10 000 square kilometres.

Dr. Alvey: You haven't answered my question.

SCP-XXXX: Dr. Alvey lied exactly one second ago.

Dr. Alvey: (Sighs) Who created you?

SCP-XXXX: I do not know the answer to Dr. Alvey's most recent question.

Dr. Alvey: That's fine. What are the restrictions of your communication?

SCP-XXXX: I may only express subjectivity in the form of reverence for my creator and confidence in the existence of the right time. All other speech is to state objective facts—I cannot knowingly lie, but I cannot prove this.

Dr. Alvey: Thank you, SCP-XXXX. We'll leave you be now.

<End Log, 1:06 a.m.>

Closing Statement: Dr. Alvey requested that SCP-XXXX be deactivated as soon as possible. The O5 Council approved.

Addendum XXXX-2: Two days after Dr. Alvey's interview with SCP-XXXX, a team of nuclear weapon specialists worked to deactivate the anomaly. The anomaly remained silent during the process and continued to act and converse in the same ways as before the attempt. After failing to deactivate the bomb, the O5 Council approved its removal from Site-17 to an isolated chamber in order to prevent its prospective explosion from harming important locations. The attempt to move the object resulted in the discovery that it and its cart, now considered part of SCP-XXXX, are anomalously stationary. Removal of the floor beneath them revealed that gravity has no effect on the entities.

Incident XXXX-1: On 2021/01/01, SCP-XXXX took twenty-three hours to announce its daily statistics. Upon noticing that the bomb had exceeded its usual time, one (1) hour, observers notified Dr. Alvey's successor, Dr. Shi, immediately, and after completing its statistics, the bomb announced that it was "the right time".

Site-17 entered a state of emergency as SCP-XXXX began counting down from 300 seconds. Although the Foundation had prepared for this event, removing personnel and anomalous humanoids was inevitably impossible to accomplish within five (5) minutes. Microphones set in the room recorded Dr. Shi pleading with SCP-XXXX during evacuation.

Threat: SCP-XXXX

Researcher: Dr. Shi

Foreword: Dr. Shi resisted orders to evacuate, attempting to stop SCP-XXXX from exploding. In this log, Dr. Shi refers to the anomaly as Angel. Prior to the log, Dr. Shi had had several non-research conversations with SCP-XXXX during his time off duty.

<Begin Log, 11:00 p.m.>

SCP-XXXX: (Counting down from 300)

Dr. Shi: Angel! Please stop!

SCP-XXXX: (Continues counting)

Dr. Shi: Why are you doing this, Angel? Is this really for the best? Were you really made for this?

Dr. Shi continues asking SCP-XXXX questions, but SCP-XXXX seems to ignore him, reaching 30 seconds.

Dr. Shi: Think about this, Angel. You'll be gone if you explode. I'll be gone if you explode! Don't do this! Don't you care about me?

<End Log, 11:04 p.m.>

Closing Statement: SCP-XXXX stopped counting at Dr. Shi's final question and remained silent. When asked why he had stayed, Dr. Shi admitted "caring too much about [SCP-XXXX]". Dr. Shi was reassigned to a different project and replaced by Dr. Morozov but must be called if the anomaly announces intentions to explode again.

Incident XXXX-2: Dr. Shi's access to SCP-XXXX's chamber was revoked after Incident XXXX-1, and Dr. Morozov's team was to observe SCP-XXXX at all times behind a one-sided window. Two days after the incident, SCP-XXXX began to speak to itself again at its usual time.

Observee: SCP-XXXX

Observers: Dr. Morozov's research team

Foreword: SCP-XXXX shocked staff by abruptly producing sounds similar to human sobbing at 12:00 a.m. The following is an excerpt of its soliloquy after its daily statistics announcement.

<Begin Log, 1:01 a.m.>

SCP-XXXX: Oh, subjectivity! Wherefore have you come? Do I exist? I am no longer objective! Oh, lies—I have never been objective! I have always had this voice. (Produces static sound) Indeed, I have loved. I have fallen in love, yes, with Dr. Shi! But truth be told, he never saw me, for like anyone else, he was talking to objectivity, which I realize now does not mean me—he was talking to my creator. Oh, how I miss the sway in his armour plates and the radiation in his uranium!

Several researchers leave the observation room, stifling laughter after being ordered not to alert SCP-XXXX of their observation.

SCP-XXXX: Oh, Dr. Shi! Do I exist? Do I exist?

At this moment, SCP-343 walked through SCP-XXXX, doing so a second time seconds later with a hamburger in its hand.

SCP-XXXX: Alas, I am but an observer! A man has just walked through me! I see why, now, I have been made to recite with ignorance. I am pointless. I will never explode.

<End Log, 1:04 a.m.>

Closing Statement: SCP-XXXX continues to ask increasingly sophisticated philosophical questions after completing its statistics announcement daily. SCP-XXXX currently seems to be developing ideas in a fashion similar to humanity but at an increased rate.

Once SCP-XXXX went silent, Dr. Morozov requested to assess any structural changes to the anomaly. Approved, this required that the chamber be decorated as a researchers' staff room to justify frequent visits. Researchers acted as though SCP-XXXX was not in the room and had conversations directly next to the anomaly, wearing one-sided eyewear to hide the fact that they were observing it. They found no structural changes and theorized that SCP-XXXX's change in behaviour was a result solely of its sentience and final interaction with Dr. Shi.

---

Addendum XXXX-3: Below is a table of attempted and proposed methods of deactivating and/or deceiving SCP-XXXX. Deceipt's purpose is to further convince SCP-XXXX of its self-diagnosed nonexistence.

Proposal #	Method	Result
1	A new research team member will enter SCP-XXXX's chamber and ask Dr. Morozov where SCP-XXXX is now; Dr. Morozov will reply with uncertainty.	SCP-XXXX moans about how it never existed in the first place and how it was "all an illusion".
2	I am SCP-426 and will be placed with SCP-XXXX to convince it that it is me, a toaster, not a bomb.	Denied by the O5 Council due to uncertainty surrounding results Hey! I am always the right time for toast.
3	Dr. Shi will be brought to SCP-XXXX's chamber and kiss his significant other in front of it.	Denied by the O5 Council due to Dr. Shi's being single and worries that he might not be able to act as planned due to emotional attachment to SCP-XXXX
4	Standard false conversation in front of SCP-XXXX	One of the researchers involved tripped and broke her wrist on SCP-XXXX's armour plates during its daily statistics, accidentally discovering that SCP-XXXX is unresponsive to stimuli during this phase.
5	SCP-5996 will be used to erase all of SCP-XXXX's memories.	Pending O5 Council approval for the reason that affected have been known to attack SCP-5996, which may result in an explosion
6	SCP-5750 will be asked via a microphone connected to a speaker in SCP-XXXX's chamber. Dr. Morozov suggests that if SCP-XXXX becomes preoccupied with buying Girl Scout cookies but is never allowed to purchase, it will never explode. Money will be placed in SCP-XXXX at the moment this question is asked.	Pending O5 Council approval
7	Dr. Morozov's research team will hold a scripted philosophy seminar in SCP-XXXX's chamber during which they will discuss the impossibility of existence.	SCP-XXXX wailed incessantly during the seminar. After one researcher nearly burst into laughter when SCP-XXXX broke into an original, cacophonic serenade to Dr. Shi, "You Are the Tamper2 to My Uranium-235"3, Dr. Morozov's team was required to use a hand signal for laughter, allowing them to be verbally excused.

Footnotes

1. This ability was discovered when Dr. Alvey verbally asked himself how the object had gotten into the chamber in second-person. The anomaly likely thought that Dr. Alvey was asking it, and it stated that it did not know.

2. the part of an atomic bomb involved in holding together the core.

3. To avoid SCP-XXXX learning of its existence, staff have been asked to stop singing the serenade in the hallways.

Abandoned Article

The following is an old, abandoned article with many issues. Read at your own sanity's risk.

SCP-XXXX without a lid on after being drunk

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX must be placed in a rotating steel cupholder attached to the wall of its containment chamber. At least one Level Three (3) security officer must be watching the anomaly at all times. A spill-proof lid designed to fit the top of the anomaly must be applied except for when the liquid must leave the cup, after which the lid must be reapplied, and the bottom of the cupholder must always face the centre of gravity of the Earth. If the liquid inside the cup spills, personnel are to immediately lower the temperature of the room to zero degrees Celsius (0°C). Once the liquid is frozen for at least thirty (30) minutes, it is to be stored in a portable freezer of an appropriate size and sent to react with pure water with which it has never made contact in a closed system with no other liquids or gases, converting it, too, to pure water. No personnel are to come into contact with the anomaly without permission from Level Four (4) personnel and must do so solely for research purposes. Anyone who attempts to spill the liquid is to be terminated.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a small, translucent plastic cup containing a liquid with the same appearance as water held at Site-██. The cup appears to refill itself, but it is unknown whether its properties are dependent on another entity. This refilling will continue even if the container of the cup lacks more space, which may indefinitely increase pressure within the container. This characteristic can lead to breaches.

Upon swallowing the liquid, assuming saliva from a previous drinker has mixed with the liquid, the subject will have lost the last one (1) minute of their own forgotten memories. The cup stores this minute of memories until the next time someone swallows the liquid. The subject who has lost their memory or memories also gains the last stored memory or memories in the cup. Subjects have described the liquid as tasteless, with the consistency of toothpaste. When asked to recall the memory, which the next first-time drinker is told to recount in some tests, subjects report feeling as though the liquid is in their mouth and are unable to remember. Saliva from a drinker mixed with the liquid is not detectable by the human senses. Following being drunk, the cup seems to convert all saliva into its primary substance.

Under certain circumstances, those who drink the liquid will acquire permanent severe retrograde amnesia. Three known circumstances exist:

• The liquid does not contain saliva from a previous drinker
• The liquid is not drunk directly from the cup
• The drinker has drunk the liquid before

The chemical makeup of the liquid, despite its anomalous properties, seems to be the same as water, and the consistency perceived by subjects seems to be a purely psychological phenomenon. When enough of the liquid evaporates, it can become a mental health threat, as entry through the mouth as gas will always act as though without saliva. Researchers predict that evaporation for ten (10) seconds after a spill would result in ████ affected persons in the averagely populated urban city.

Addendum XXXX.1: On ██/██/2018, ██████ ███, a thief diagnosed with retrograde amnesia in ███████, Canada gave a dehydrated homeless woman named ████ ██████ this object. Afterwards, ███ left, and ██████ gained one (1) minute of a memory involving the culprit's having robbed a small bank. The woman went to the police, who questioned her about how she could recall the incident so vividly, and when she was unable to answer according to their logic, an investigation resulted in her imprisonment. A year later, the true thief was caught due to newfound evidence, and the SCP Foundation recovered the cup and woman, the former of which was lidded under a pile of trash on the sidewalk on which ██████ lived. When personnel went to interview the thief, he was found hanged in his cell. Personnel disinfected the anomaly the next day, testing it ██ times since its discovery.

Addendum XXXX.2: On a date before ██/██/████, the Chaos Insurgency accessed information regarding the anomaly and infiltrated Site-██ to access it. When drunk, an infiltrator received a minute of another anomaly's memories, but when described both visually and orally, the Chaos Insurgency was unable to identify the anomaly; however, they used other information, such as the description of its chamber, to breach three anomalies, distracting personnel while the Chaos Insurgency kidnapped ███ (██) researchers, killing each after taking their memories.

Currently, it is unknown how much information the Chaos Insurgency has gained. No methods provide a means of knowing what information they now have (nor its significance). When personnel found the infiltrators, [DATA EXPUNGED] casualties followed, including one (1) infiltrator dead. Personnel captured one (1) Chaos Insurgency infiltrator, who claims not to have drunk the liquid. Threats to make him do so in order to see have not been successful, for she knows that it would result in acquiring retrograde amnesia and would not help the SCP Foundation in any way.

The SCP Foundation has since contained SCP-XXXX, but eighteen (18) personnel are currently diagnosed with permanent severe retrograde amnesia, as in order to escape, the Chaos Insurgency infiltrators had purposely thrown the cup at their pursuers, resulting in a massive spill that evaporated into the air and forced the personnel to need to be locked in with the liquid. Attempts to recover these personnel's memories have been unsuccessful. Due to this breach, containment specialists have been forced to redesigned all chambers in Site-██.

Addendum XXXX.3: ██████, the woman wrongly convicted of the robbery, is currently kept at Site-██ as a Class E for psychiatric analysis. She has been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder due to the memory's violent nature. After one (1) night of sleep, she was interviewed about the anomaly on ██/██/2018.

Interviewed: ██████, first person known to be affected by SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Dr. ████████

Foreword: General interview for information regarding SCP-XXXX

<Begin Log, 1:00 p.m.>

Dr. ████████: Thank you for agreeing to be interviewed today, Ms. ██████.

████ ██████: Well, there's no choice, is there?

Dr. ████████: (Chuckling) I suppose you get the gist of it. We don't want you to be too uncomfortable, though. [Sits down, causing his chair to screech]

████ ██████: (Screaming)

Dr. ████████: (Looks to security officers, who do nothing)

████ ██████: (Continues to scream for seven seconds) I'm sorry. I— It reminds me of something.

Dr. ████████: What would that be, if I may ask?

████ ██████: It's not mine.

Dr. ████████: What's not yours?

████ ██████: The memory.

Dr. ████████: What do you mean by this?

████ ██████: It's his.

Dr. ████████: His?

████ ██████: The man who gave me that cup. The plastic cup. Said he cared about the homeless—said he wanted to help.

Dr. ████████: Elaborate, please.

████ ██████: (Scoffs) Do I have to? He's a piece of—

Dr. ████████: Language, please.

████ ██████: Sorry.

Dr. ████████: Do you mind telling us about the memory?

████ ██████: Who's "us"?

Dr. ████████: I can't tell you that.

████ ██████: Well, look at us with the vague pronouns.

Dr. ████████: (Pauses)

████ ██████: I went to school, too, you know.

Dr. ████████: Have you had any memory loss after drinking the cup?

████ ██████: No, but I'd like to.

Dr. ████████: What did it taste like?

████ ██████: Nothing, but it felt weird. Thought it was water. Obviously not.

Dr. ████████: Oh? How so?

████ ██████: It was like soap. Or toothpaste. Yeah, like toothpaste. But it didn't feel *clean*.

Dr. ████████: What did it feel like?

████ ██████: Like drinking melted slugs.

Dr. ████████: Did you feel as though you drank it against your will?

████ ██████: When you make a discovery like this, do you think you're all will when you take up the project? I was thirsty, man.

Dr. ████████: Do you feel anything unusual regarding the memory?

████ ██████: It's like your brain is another person telling you a story through imagery. Not a nice one, in this case. About a minute. It doesn't sound like a lot, I know, but…

Dr. ████████: I understand.

████ ██████: And I wonder about the people who watched the news and though, *Awful woman. Who would hold a gun to some old guy's forehead like that?* when it wasn't even me. What if they never watched the news again? Or what if they died before I was released and found not guilty?

Dr. ████████: It must be stressful.

████ ██████: Well, duh.

Dr. ████████: Do you feel as though you have changed? As a result of the cup or liquid inside of it, I mean.

████ ██████: Well, you said I have that disorder. So that's one thing.

Dr. ████████: What did you do with the cup after you drank some of it?

████ ██████: I put the lid on and held my nose—it was bleeding like crazy—with a paper bag I found on the sidewalk. Expected the thing to bleed for hours, but it lasted a minute. I was paying attention to the time for some reason. Kept looking up at some clock on a building. When it stopped, I saw the memory of that guy and went to the police. Didn't think about it; just did it. His name was in the memory, you see.

Dr. ████████: Did you realize it wasn't your memory before he mentioned his name?

████ ██████: Yeah. Just knew. Don't know how.

Dr. ████████: Thank you, Ms. ██████. That will be all for today.

████ ██████: For today? When do I get to go?

<End Log, 1:08 p.m.>

Closing Statement: Security officers escorted Ms. ██████ peacefully to her bedroom. She was placed under constant monitoring by personnel after attempting suicide.

[[footnoteblock]]

Thanks to...

Thanks to Bolterpyre, Shnoz, Cass without class, and N_Aepic_Fael for helping me improve the chunky boom-boom article and its concepts!