Item #: SCP-5308
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5308-1, -2,and -3 are to all be viewed at the same time with stereoscopic (“3-D”) glasses only with the written permission of personnel with Level 4 clearance or higher. SCP-5308-1, -2, and -3 are to be in separate standard humanoid containment chambers, and are only to be let out of containment at separate scheduled times (See Addendum-5308-A) during a 24 hour period. Any instances of SCP-5308-B are to be terminated unless ordered otherwise by class 3 personnel.
Description: SCP-5308-1 appears to be an adult male aging twenty-three (23) years old. SCP-5308-2 and -3 however, are identical in physical trait with the exception of SCP-5308-2 being a transparent red and SCP-5308-3 being a transparent blue. It has been shown that SCP-5308-1, -2, and -3 all have different personalities. Upon viewing them all with stereoscopic (“3-D”) glasses, the viewer appears to obey all verbal commands given from SCP-5308-1, -2, and -3. They are then to be labeled SCP-5308-B.
Addendum-5308-A:
SCP-5308-1 is to be let out at 0:30, left to roam for seven (7) hours, and be put back in it’s containment at 7:30.
SCP-5308-2 is to be let out at 8:00, left to roam for seven (7) hours, and be put back in it’s containment at 15:00.
SCP-5308-3 is to be let out at 15:30, left to roam for seven (7) hours, and be put back in it’s containment at 22:30.
Addendum-5308-B/Experiment 178-e-10:
Experiment 178-e-10
Name: Dr. ████
Date: ██/██/20██
Procedure: D-class subject is to be placed in secured test chamber containing SCP-178, SCP-5308. The test chamber is to be observed remotely via audio and video recording devices. Subject is to be instructed to wear SCP-178 and report what they see.
Results: Subject D-18653 (Male, 32, Thirteen counts of GBH, Five counts of murder, Cannibalism, no discernible mental abnormalities) is placed in the chamber and told to wear SCP-178 and report what they see. Subject complies and puts on SCP-178. Subject is not told of SCP-178’s or SCP-5308's nature. Subject reports seeing SCP-5308-1, -2, and -3 all speaking to different entities. SCP-5308-3 then appears to start fighting a entity, D-18653 is then instructed to leave the room by SCP-5308, D-18653 turns to leave and is terminated. SCP-5308-1 and -2 then appear to start to fight entities. SCP-5308-3 appears to snap the neck of an entity, and join in SCP-5308-1's fight. The entity in a altercation with SCP-5308-2 is then presumed dead, as well as the entity in a altercation with SCP-5308-1 and -3. SCP-5308-1, -2, and -3 did not appear to have taken any damage in the altercation.
Item #: SCP-5317
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5317-1 is to be contained in its cell, a 25 m x 25 m x 25 m 0.3 m thick soundproof steel cube, at all times. Weekly checks for any cracks or holes are mandatory. There are to be audio and video surveillance on at all times inside SCP-5317-1's cell. No personnel may enter SCP-5317-1's cell for any reason without prior authorization from a class 4 personnel.
Description: SCP-5317 appears to be a humanoid that is around 15 m tall, with arms around 13 m long. SCP-5317's skin appears to be rusted metal mummified skin and wires. SCP-5317 does not have a head, but rather a large pole with two (2) Federal Signal Thunderbolt 1000T, inside of these sirens are the mouths of SCP-5317. SCP-5317 can be found after a [Redacted] occurs. When Hunting SCP-5317 will rotate it's head and broadcast white noise from it's mouths, often the pre-mentioned sirens in attack mode, but it has sometimes been observed to broadcast speech, commonly from the [Redacted] era. SCP-5317 has been found with different head arrangements, whether this be because it changed for hunting or from multiple subspecies is still unknown.
Addendum-5317-A:
A semi-cooperative SCP-5317 has been found exiting SCP-5101-B, here after to be labeled as SCP-5317-1, by MTF Gamma 9.
Item #: SCP-5084
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5084 should be contained in a 1 m x 1 m x 1 m steel lockbox within a 10 m x 10 m x 5 m room
Description: SCP-5084 appears to be a translucent standard issue D-Class beanie dyed to look like an astral projection. The SCP-5084 is stitched together in a way that it can be unfolded. When unfolded and used it with a violent intent, the beanie hardens and loses the transparent effect. SCP-5020 refers to SCP-5084 as “Sosig,” this may be due to the sausage like appearance of SCP-5084.
Item: SCP-5020 with SCP-5084
Tissue test:
Effectively pulverised by SCP-5020 swinging SCP-5084
Termination test record:
SCP-682 is exposed to SCP-5020 and SCP-5084. SCP-5020 states a joke. SCP-682 proceeds to laugh. SCP-5020 proceeds to hit SCP-682 in the head with SCP-5084. SCP-682 laughs harder. This repeats a total of seven (7) times before SCP-682 gets agitated and physically attempts to harm SCP-5020. The test is neutralized and SCP-5020 and SCP-5048 are extracted.
Item #: SCP-5020
Object Class: Euclid (Thaumiel Reclassification Being Evaluated)
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5020 is allowed free range of movement throughout the site 24. Due to inhibition of work, SCP-5020 has had the privilege to freely walk the facility revoked for an undefined period of time. SCP-5020 is to be contained in its cell, a 5 m x 5 m x 5 m soundproof steel cube, at all times. Weekly checks for any cracks or holes are mandatory. There are to be absolutely no audio surveillance or audial tools of any kind inside SCP-5020's cell.
Description: SCP-5020 is a Caucasian humanoid adolescent Male between the ages of twelve (12) and thirteen (13) that prefers to be called ██████. The only anomalous abilities it seems to possess is the ability to make any sentient entity spontaneously laugh at any joke said, and any time said joke is repeated. SCP-5020 appears to have a connection with SCP-5084 and has requested to have contact with them on multiple occasions, so, should only be allowed contact with good behavior. SCP-5020 also frequently asks to see Dr. Bright, despite the fact that they have never made contact with each other.
Addendum 5020-A: A recorded transcript of ██████.
<Begin Log, skip to 00h-03m-02s>
Dr. Wagner: SCP 5020, please tell a joke to D-93493
SCP-5020: What's the difference between a child and a speedbump?
D-93493: I don't know.
SCP-5020: Only one screams when I run it over.
Dr. Wagner and D-93493 proceed to laugh without stopping for twelve (12) hours and eight (8) hours respectively.
Said joke will be monitored until ██/██/20██
After all surveillance, the joke was said seven (174) times over a [REDACTED] Month period to approximately one hundred eighty seven (187)/one hundred eighty eight (188) separate entities laughing at said joke. (See addendum 5020-B)
<End Log>
Addendum 5020-B: Entities that laughed or didn’t laugh at the joke, “What's the difference between a child and a speedbump?”
SCP-173 didn’t laugh due to inability to laugh but did seem to be passive for four (4) hours, the 05 council is debating on whether or not to allow SCP-5020 and SCP-173 to be contained together.
Eighty Three (83) D-Class Personnel laughed, three (3) to eighteen (18) hours.
Seventy Two (72) Guards laughed, six (6) minutes to seventeen (17) hours.
Sixteen (16) Researchers laughed, one (1) to nineteen (19) hours.
SCP-939-1, -3, -19, -53, -89, -96, -98, -99, and -109 laughed, thirty (30) to forty-five (45) seconds, possible luring attempt.
SCP-682, after replacing with guards who no longer laugh at the joke, laughed for sixteen (16) minutes.
SCP-4999, It appears that SCP-5020 is an exception to SCP-4999’s “Only one person present” rule, laughed for four (4) minutes, ██████ laughed for only three (3) seconds due to accidentally swallowing a cigarette.
SCP-1048-A (?) was heard laughing in a high pitched voice for three (3) seconds before it was silenced by an unknown entity, possibly SCP-1048.
SCP-999 appeared to dislike the joke by flattening, but everyone touched for forty eight (48) hours afterwards were happier than the usual effect of SCP-999.
SCP-035, laughed until SCP-035’s trachea was destroyed by the liquid
Note: The next three (3) hosts suffered the same fate.
SCP-5420, four (4) hours.
After SCP-5420 was introduced to the joke it has begun to take effect as an unfunny joke.
The joke is no longer monitored due to a full unanimous 05 vote.
Note: It appears that when SCP-5020 interacts with SCP-5420 it has shown that SCP-5420 cancels out any of the anomalous properties of SCP-5020.
Addendum 5020-C
SCP-5020, SCP-5420, and SCP-5084, were all found in ██████, IA, knowing of each other's presence beforehand.
Item: SCP-5020
Tissue test:
N/A
Termination test record:
SCP-682 is exposed to SCP-5020. SCP-5020 states a joke. SCP-682 proceeds to laugh for thirty (30) minutes. SCP-682 restates the joke louder causing guards to laugh. SCP-682 breaches containment and kills six (6) researchers, nine (9) guards, and injures one (1) guard.
Note: General ██████ has requested that Dr. Wagner and the members of staff involved with the approval of this test report to Site Command for a disciplinary hearing.
Item #: SCP-5420
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Due to previous incidents, SCP-5420 has had the privilege to freely walk the facility provoked. SCP-5420 has been provided with a standard humanoid containment unit and 3 meals per day.
Description: SCP-5420 is a Caucasian humanoid adolescent Male (?) between the ages of twelve (12) and thirteen (13) that prefers to be called ██████. The only anomalous abilities it seems to possess is the ability to instantly make any joke it hears immediately oversaturated and unfunny.
—-
Addendum 5420-A: A recorded transcript of ██████.
<Begin Log, skip to 00h-03m-02s>
Dr. Wagner: D-93471, please tell a joke to SCP 5420
D-93471: uhhhh… What do you call a flying jew
SCP-5420: I don't know
D-93461: Smoke
SCP-5420 proceeds to laugh in an annoying manner.
<End Log>
Said joke will be monitored until [Redacted], 20[Redacted]
Edit log
After all surveillance, the joke was said four (4) times over a [REDACTED] Month period to zero (0) accounts of people laughing at said joke.
Item #: SCP-5112
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5112, whenever possible, should be contained at Site-97 in a 5m cube with 24/7 surveillance by visual device. If and when SCP-5112 escapes MTF Gamma-9 should be deployed with visual satellite surveillance to collect and re-contain SCP-5112.
Description: SCP-5112 appears to be a non anomalous fucking annoying goose.
Task Force Mission: Mobile Task Force Gamma-9 specializes in the investigation, acquisition, and initial containment of objects or entities exhibiting audial cognitohazards, audial memetic agents, or otherwise require indirect or alternative listening in order to safely handle.
Assisting In Containment of Objects:
SCP-5020
SCP-5420
SCP-5084
SCP-5069
SCP-5317
SCP-5101
SCP-5112
Per 
