Dr.Bexided's File

Dr. Bexided's File



rating: 0+x
Item#: ASK-J
Level3
Containment Class:
keter
Secondary Class:
none
Disruption Class:
vlam
Risk Class:
warning

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-ASK-J is to never be said out loud, or communicated to anyone or anything via text messages or traditional writing. Knowledge of SCP-ASK-J’s in civilians is not of concern, though its aftermath is.

Description: SCP-ASK-J is the three-word phrase “No one asked.” following the expression of someone’s opinion on a topic and/or matter.

SCP-ASK-J’s properties will cause 50% percent of those subjected to it to experience severe depression or post-traumatic stress disorder for 30 days subsequent to exposure. The aftermath of SCP-ASK-J is labeled as an SCP-ASK-J instance.

SCP-ASK-J instances will only occur after someone expresses their opinion on a topic, if not, nothing will occur. Should anyone ask about a subject’s opinion, an SCP-ASK-J instance will not occur.

SCP-ASK-J is uncontained.

No one asked.

Addendum ASK-1:
Interviewer: Dr. Cetera
Interviewee: D-11911

[BEGIN LOG]

D-11911: I like pineapple on pizza.

Dr. Cetera: No one asked.

[END LOG]



rating: 0+x
Item#: 941-J
Level1
Containment Class:
safe
Secondary Class:
none
Disruption Class:
dark
Risk Class:
notice

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-941-J is to be kept at Site-77. All subjects with Level 1 clearance or above may request any products they desire at any time. No further restrictions or containment procedures are necessary.

Description: SCP-941-J is a standard Apple-branded paper bag measuring 28 centimeters (11 in.) in length, 50 centimeters (16.5 in.) in height, and 55 grams in weight.

SCP-941-J is capable of producing any apple product a subject desires, so long as it fits within the bag. Upon full production, the products will show signs of extreme damage to the point of complete dysfunctionality, accompanied by a note reading what is believed to be an attempt at an insult.

The damages on the products of SCP-941-J include:

  • Cracked Displays
  • Bending
  • Misplaced/Missing Components
  • Maggot Infestations Within The Device
  • Bitemarks?..

The “insults” that accompany the products SCP-941-J produces vary from product to product, though they remain consistent on a specific type of product, regardless of release date.

Product Message
iPod lmao tupid
iPhone ur mom
iPad uglee
MacBook no
iMac haha dum
Mac Pro lol FAT
Magic Keyboard fuck u
Magic Mouse face + wall
HomePod farthead
EarPods nerd
AirPods NOOB
AirPods Max [DATA EXPUNGED] (seriously, it just says data expunged for some reason)

Note:
Attempts to communicate or converse with SCP-941-J have all proven unsuccessful.



rating: 0+x

Item #: Meow

Object Class: Meow

Special Containment Procedures: Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow

Description: Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow.

Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow.

Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow.

Note:
I simply wrote what my cat told me to write. - Dr. Rodriguez