Dr. Dzerwhel's Sandbockz (part 2: electric boogaloo)


Object Class: Laughable

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-GOVERNMENT-J is to be contained within a soundproof 4m x 4m x 4m standard containment unit. SCP-GOVERNMENT-J is to be given a phone every day with videos disproving conspiracies in hopes of this thing to just stop. This containment unit is to be patrolled by ten MTF Tau-71 "The Earth is Not Flat" units. If SCP-GOVERNMENT-J is to escape he must be presented to a conspiracy theorist, this conspiracy theorist is to then shoot SCP-GOVERNMENT-J multiple times… In the face.

Description: SCP-GOVERNMENT-J is what appears to be a teenager of no determinate gender or name. SCP-GOVERNMENT-J has multiple disabilities including: Autism, ADHD, PTSD, and Mental Retardation. These disabilities are rumored to be the cause of SCP-GOVERNMENT-J's anomalous capabilities. SCP-GOVERNMENT-J has the ability when put in an environment disproving conspiracies like videos made by YouTuber "Professor Stick" SCP-GOVERNMENT-J will dislike the video and make a twelve paragraph long comment or response video under the name of "Alex Sawyer" in attempts to disprove said YouTuber. This will always fail as SCP-GOVERNMENT-J can't provide any proof if questioned SCP-GOVERNMENT-J will just say the response is stupid and that they're always right.

SCP-GOVERNMENT-J as well as to being a [redacted for brevity] can provide an odor similar to that of a dead pig. This odor should not be inhaled as it will cause recipient to completely go braindead and start shouting out random conspiracies with no proof and lack all brain function, this recipient will now be classified as SCP-GOVERNMENT-J-2. For example: When asked "May you provide some proof?" SCP-GOVERNMENT-J-2 shouted out the words "Your mom gay". Below is a list of conspiracy theories believed by SCP-GOVERNMENT-J:

  1. The government is run by lizard people
  2. Obama and Trump are robots
  3. The world is flat
  4. Vaccinations give kids autism
  5. Gay Nazi alien no-armed dinosaurs exist at the ice wall surrounding Earth (this theory is like this because the world is flat)
  6. The sun and moon are projections
  7. The world is a simulation

Interview Log GOVERNMENT-J-1:

Foreword: This interview was conducted in order to see if SCP-GOVERNMENT-J could provide any viable proof that any of his conspiracies are true.

<Begin Log, 4/20/18 12:38>

Dr. Anguis: So SCP-GOVERNMENT-J, may you provide some proof?

SCP-GOVERNMENT-J: Uh… NATO uses a flat Earth on their logo and the antarctic treaty disables entrance into Antarctica because the government wants to hide the fact that the world is flat.


<End Log, 13:41>

Closing Statement: Dr. Anguis screamed for one hour straight and died due to face contortion.

Notes: Soooooooo… Why is this an SCP again? - Dr. Uyedinennyy
It's stupity :) - Dr. Ilgj