Per 
It had been eight months since the the cheese is a lie and the foundation had been affected. For a short period of time the idea that cheese wasn’t real and was merely an illusion had spread through the ranks of the foundation. Doctor Roberts (a member of the memetics team) was among the few that located and solved the problem; A meme that affected
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-XXXX is a white grade-A chicken egg. The egg has what is described as a simplistic 'meh face' drawn upon it with what appears to be sharpie. SCP-XXXX is more resistant to physical damage than a regular grade-A egg.
Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]
‘
It was a cloudy day, but still the air outside was warm and pleasant. Julia didn’t care really. She was a free spirit and loved the outdoors no matter what the weather; her mom once found her trying to climb a tree in a hurricane. But still today was a nice day and so Julia was happy and excited.
“Don’t run too far!” It was her moms voice, always worrying over little things.
Julia scoffed and continued exploring further and further away from her mother. It was what children do anyhow. Julia loved the woods. Especially on days like today, everything was silent and ominous, you could hear every sound.
Her mother’s voice broke the silence again: “Julia? Julia! Don’t make me lose you!”
Julia sighed and trudged back closer to the path. “Why did adults have to follow the path? Why is it that everyone has to take the same way through the woods?” Julia didn’t understand it. She suddenly had a feeling of unease… was it possible someone could be watching her? Julia whipped her head around looking for anyone or anything but nothing stood out. She kept walking.
“Where is it?” Croaked a faint whisper from somewhere near her. “Where am I?”
Julia looked around; once more becoming uneasy. She knew there wasn’t anyone around her, and she still felt as if she were being watched. She shivered but shouldered on through a tangle of undergrowth to reveal… nothing.
“You won’t find it here. I’ve tried.” The same voice… but quieter. “It’s useless… just let me give up.”
Now she was scared. Where the path should’ve been there was just more leaf covered forest floor.
“Wh- who are you?” Stammered Julia, something wasn’t right. Her mom should be able to explain. Julia knew her mother could explain everything. But where was her mother? Julia cried. She cried like an eight hear old who had gotten lost in the woods, because, that is exactly what she was.
“Follow me.” came a new and different voice, “follow and this nightmare will end.” Accompanying the voice came the sound of stick cracking beneath a foot. Something else was here. Something more than a voice.
“Run!” An urgent whisper. The first voice. Another twig… louder: closer. She ran.
Julia ran until she was completely lost and out of breath. She looked around and saw that nothing was familiar to her. The trees were all out of shape; crooked and knotted. The man in the weird suit moving towards her.
Interviewed: Agent Malkoms
Interviewer: Dr. Colbert
Foreword: This interview took place shortly after a child appeared in a yet to be classified anomaly.
<Begin Log>
Agent Malkoms: “We still have no clue as to how she got into the anomalous zone. I picked her up right at 1700, she should be free for questioning I believe.”
Dr. Colbert: “What was her estimated elapsed time in the area of interest?”
Agent Malkoms: “You know the the research better than me. But It could have been any amount of time. I’m no expert in all this bullshit, hell I only ever read the file once! My job is just to sweep the area in those suits every couple hours.”
Dr. Colbert: “Do you have any further information on this matter that may be of importance to the foundation?”
Agent Malkoms: “Hell, I don’t even know what bullshit is going on here… what information could I possibly have?”
Dr. Colbert: “That will be all. Thank you.”
<End Log>
Dr. Franch: “Please Colbert… you can’t continue testing like this.”
Dr. Colbert: “You know as well as I that the 05 council will take my side on this one.”
Dr. Franch: “She’s a child Henry! You can’t seriosly consi- “
Dr. Colbert: “you know as well I she’s more than that, and I’ve done more than just consider the test. It’s happening in two hours. I will find the source if the anomaly.
Dr. Franch: “You can’t seriously believe she’s the source of the anomaly. I refuse to put my skills to use for this cause. I’m sorry. Have a good day.”
“Julia! Julia where are you?” The distressed mother called out. She knew she had to be somewhere. “Juuules!” She cried out, starting tear up.
In her distress she did not hear the birds stop chirping. She also did not hear the sound of twigs snapping or the footsteps. When she heard his voice it was already too late.
It was the second body to turn up with exactly the same markings. The press would believe it was a serial killer. Yeah it might take some work and a few interviews with different news producers but they’d believe it. It was rare for killers to mark their victims but not unheard of.
“Her neighbor said she left with her daughter.” Said agent Smith, “Where is she?”
“I’m sure a body will turn up eventually… either that or we’ll find her”
“Are you sure you do the want to put a small search team out doc? I’ve heard so much of the Famous Dr. Colbert, I thought we would be more thorough…”
“I’m more thorough than yiure crediting me for. A search team would make the locals think we’ve lost somebody; they’d want to contribute. Report the girl as dead too if we find her… we’ll figure it out then.”
Little did the agent smith know Dr. Colbert was more thourough than he could imagine. He covered his tracks perfectly, leaving no trace that he was connected to forest more closely than the doctor observing it. Yes… these would make perfect hunting grounds for him… he would just have to find the girl.
The two doctors ran around their experiment, taking close note of every detail. One was was writing frantically on his clipboard while the other was watching everything with a look of fierce determination on his face. Finally when it seemed like everything had calmed down the one who had been writing looked up at the other and shook his head.
“It’s happened again hasn’t it? I could tell from over here.”
“We’ve got to have done something wrong. We’ve been doing this forever. It’s the same damn thing over and over again.”
“I know. What the hell does this mean? We can’t have just been doing everything wrong. I mean… what haven’t we changed while working on this project?”
“I quit. Honestly working here is so stressful. I don’t do anything important and I still manage to mess this up. I’m moving to a different project. I mean it!”
“Maybe you just need some outside eyes.” It was Doctor Stren. He walked in through the lab door with a confident gait and a knowing look in his eye. “Let me see your work. I’m sure I can figure it out.”
“Listen, here’s the test file, it’s got all of our notes and calculations and data in it. That’s two months of wild guesses, experiments gone wrong and just stress in general. If you figure this shit out I’ll be the most grateful man on earth.”
Dr. Stren confidently strode over and grabbed the clipboard with such an air of confidence and knowledge that no one could doubt. He had a Success rate unlike anyone else. He carefully read every line of the procedure that the two obviously inferior scientists had written, and nodded knowingly to himself. He then looked through the painstaking calculations and theories and carefully examined the past two months of failures and ideas that went nowhere. The more he read the more confident his smile became. He handed back the clipboard and confidently cleared his throat.
“Yeah I’m stumped.”
“Doctor Cliff, we’ve just found a document claiming, well, you’d better take a look at it yourself.”
Cliff walked over to the puzzled assistant. He had noticed her staring at her screen with a focused and yet confused look on her face for the last few minutes and was waiting for some kind of question.
“What is it? I’m kinda busy right now and I can’t solve every problem you know.”
Doctor Cliff was glad to notice that he still had an intimidating affect on her even three years into their work together. He liked having a sense of control over his underlings.
“Well… I mean you can see what he’s saying right? I mean the guys obviously gone mad… the problem is that, well…” the assistant trailed off mid sentence nervous at the claim she was about to make.
“Well what?” Snapped the doctor.
“He doesn’t seem to be wrong.”
“‘Cheese is a lie?’ That’s what seems to be correct?”
“Er… yes? Look at all that research! I’ve looked through a lot of it and it’s thorough. I even checked this dudes credentials and he’s worked at Cradle Labs for 7 years until he was fired for… this.”
“It’s nonsense. Pay attention to something other than this, it’s a waste of Foundation time.”
“No really, his research checks out. Cheese doesn’t exist. I’ll send you his work but we need to shut down his website before it goes viral.”
“Alright, just do it quickly and don’t take any drastic measures before I give you my opinion.”
Daragh cliff waited patiently outside the door of the house whose bell he’d rung five times now. There was motion behind the door and he’d seen curtains flutter so he kept waiting. Finally as he was about to guve up and resort to less polite measures the door flew open and a disheveled looking man, once known as Doctor Stren, peered outward.
“What do you want? Can’t you see I’m busy here?”
Indeed the man looked like he had seen little sleep, and was wearing a lab coat with plenty of holes and stains. Cliff looked the man over quickly before opening his mouth to speak.
“I’m here about the cheese.”
The foundation was in a frenzy, many doctors were in a state of confusion and the others were simply wondering if they were going to wake up from this twisted dream. Doctor Clef had donned a mask made of cheese and started calling himself ‘The Great loaf of Milk’ while Doctors Stren and Cliff has moved into the same laboratory and were now frantically working out new ideas now involving new dangerous SCPs.
Everyone had the same thought in their heads, “Cheese? Cheese doesn’t exist? I had some just this week! Humans have been making it for centuries!”
But it was true. Cheese didn’t exist, or it wasn’t possible at least. The Foundation had run their own tests many times and it was definite: cheese couldn’t be real.
None of this changed the fact that cheese did exist and was quite real. So doctors frantically wrote procedures on how to properly nuetralize cheese. Theories on the sentience and power of cheese were common amount the many erratic doctors that the foundation employed. Attacks on innocent lunches were becoming common occurrences across Foundation sites. All outside cheese research was being stalled or stopped completely. It had been a long day for O5-3.
O5-3 sighed intently. How was it that something like cheese was anomalous? She almost worshipped cheese she loved it so bad. Why couldn’t she catch a break? I mean she loved cheese and now it was close to 682 on the ‘Things the Foundation hates’ scale.
Her thought was broken by another message popping up on her screen, “Cornell is conducting a cheese related experiment involving mice in mazes”.
She sighed again, best to shut it down just in case. They couldn’t have any accidents she thought as she stared around at her cheese adorned room. An information breach was the last thing she wanted to deal with right now. She opened her drawer and took out her lunch; She needed something to eat right now. She briefly wondered what she was eating as she took a bite out of her now cold grilled cheese sandwich.
She shouldnt eat this. I mean it couldn’t be healthy right? It supposedly wasnt real. She sighed and took another bite. She didn’t really care at this point. She loved cheese, she ate it with almost everything. It had become an obsession for her in fact. But now… now she could lose her job is anyone even caught a whiff of it around her.
She sighed and pulled out her small handgun she kept in a side drawer. Cheese had been her whole life before this. She couldn’t marry, or wouldn’t, because of her job, but she had always had cheese. She had started cheese collections at home; it was the one thing she had been passionate about. In fact her last gift from her dying father was cheese. She had collected many fine cheeses and tried every flavor imaginable to man but… that wasn’t real anymore. Her whole life, her passion and love, was a false dream. The one thing that always stood by her, always stayed the same, had been a faksehood.
“The cheese was all just a lie.”
Her assistant heard a gunshot.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be held in site 19’s testing chamber. Level-2 access is required for testing with or within SCP-XXXX. Should SCP-XXXX show any unusual signs it is to be moved to a new location until it is deemed that SCP-XXXX is still safe.
Personnel with level-2 access or higher who wish to test other anomalous objects within the dimension created by SCP-XXXX are allowed to do so, as long as their object doesn’t affect SCP-XXXX in any way. Level-3 clearance is required for tests of any objects with similar affects as SCP-XXXX or that may somehow change or affect SCP-XXXX’s anomalous effect.
Description: SCP-XXXX appears to be a small black stone with a similar composition to obsidian approximately 10 by 6 by 6 centimeters. The object is rectangular with rounded edges and the stone is inscribed with the word “enter”.
SCP-XXXX possesses no anomalous effect until it is touched by a living animal. Upon touching SCP-XXXX subjects and all items of clothing or objects touching subjects (of an appropriate size) are transported to a pocket dimension.
This dimension appears to be a square room approximately 30 meters in length, width, and height. The Hume level reading of this dimension is 65 Humes. The room is empty other than a pedestal containing a black stone seemingly identical to SCP-XXXX but bearing the word “exit” rather than “enter”. This stone will be referred to as SCP-XXXX-1. The walls of this room are a beige and brown mottled color. These walls appear immune to all damage that was inflicted upon it. Imbedded upon one wall or the room is a thermostat capable of instantly changing the air temperature to anywhere between -32 to 120 degrees Fahrenheit.
Upon touching SCP-XXXX-1 subjects will leave the pocket dimension and re-appear next to SCP-XXXX.
Addendum A: SCP-XXXX is approved for testing damaging SCPs or SCPs that are difficult to contain in a regular testing environment. Doctors testing objects inside of SCP-XXXX are required to read SCP-XXXXs containment file.
Addendum B: Dr. Clef is not allowed to use SCP-XXXX due to his idea of relocating his office to SCP-XXXX. This space is a valuable asset to the foundation and should not be used in such a thoughtless way regardless of the excuse that, “My office was always a few degrees too cold.”
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-XXXX is a five dollar bill minted in 1993. SCP-XXXX appears to be a totally unmarked bill other than the inscription, “happy birthday Sarah! I’m sorry.” Written on the back. SCP-XXXX bears creases down its center
Addendum:
He stood, he proposed the idea and then he sat. He didn’t need to explain the implications. All of the people in the room understood what would happen.
05-4 sighed, “We can’t do it. All of this work, everything we ever stood for?”
“Wouldn’t matter. This world. This horrid world corrupted by monsters that can’t die and killer spoons would change. There wouldn’t be a need for us anymore.”
“So we’d give up? Instead of solving the problem we’ve worked for ages on wed just make it disappear? I’m not a quitter and I don’t plan on being one.”
“Please three, we aren’t giving up on the problem, this is the solution. We won’t have to sacrifice any more D-Class, the world won’t have to deal with the constant accidents that occur from our containment breaches.”
“And all the personnel who work here? All those lives? That’s over a million people. A million lives, our lives, will disappear?”
“I agree with 05-7. It’s a sacrifice everyone here is prepared to make. And remember, that million includes many D-Class personnel. The doctors and guards only make up an estimated 60% of the Foundation.”
“The wives and children of these people? The friends? What will happen to them? What will happen if, god forbid, we made a mistake? What then?”
05-7 shifted uncomfortably at these words, “Are you implying I would sabotage the foundation? The Antimemetics team has made very few mistakes, and are perhaps the most highly trained and skilled division of this Foundation. As for the family and friends? They’d forget, simple as that.”
“Who’s to say they aren’t even a part of the Foundation? They could be lying to our faces right now and we’d have no way to know. What about that accident. We know there have been more than one Antimemetics division. Don’t pretend that you don’t Oh-Seven. They could’ve fucked up countless times. So don’t tell me about their track record. That fate they’ve prepared for us is worse than death. And god knows I’d do it ten times over if it meant ending this mess. But I can’t. Not now and not ever.”
Finally someone else speaks up, it’s 05-9, he speaks with a careful but confident tone, “I know it would be risking a lot, And it would mean death, painful death, but…” he trails off looking around the room before continuing, “I’ll cut to the point: Class Z mnestics.”
“You can’t seriously bele-“ 05-4 is cut off quickly by 05-11.
“The Administrator…”
All turned to look at the usually blank computer screen.
It was the second time any of them had seen him express anything other than a vote. The letters came up on the screen slowly each holding a dramatic power that all the other 05s respected, perhaps even beyond their own opinions. Short and simple they read: “Its worth the risk.” The screen changed to show 05-1s vote, a single unimpressive check mark.
“All in favor?”
The sound still haunted him. The ringing, daunting sound. He remembered every second of it. The pure jolting anxiety, the apprehension, and worst of all that thing… that horrid man who followed him through every path he took, he stood in every shadowed corner and who watched from behind every mirror. He started to chuckle. Why did he fear the man who ran from him every time he was caught in his vision. He was human. He was full. Was he not better? He laughed now. He laughed and looked up to see, that thing slide out of his vision. To see that dark shadow of a man that his eyes could never quite catch dissapear. He laughed as the fear and thrill coursed through his body. His body racked and convulsed as the laughter filled him.
First he lifted his right hand and examined it carefully. It had always been his favorite hand… so strong and able. He suppressed another giggle. He could feel it watching him. He could feel its eyes bore into him. It wasn’t better. He knew it wasn’t better. He was better. His curled his fingers into a fist as his amxious teeth bit down on the tips of his knuckles.
He sat rocking back and forth on his bed before he remembered the words.
You’ve seen it. Now he can hear you.
The words resounded in his head. He had an idea, a crazy wild idea… a way to rid him of that abomination forever… he took his hand out of his mouth and looked at it again for the last time. Then quickly and suddenly he plunged a finger into his eye. He screamed in pain; it was like nothing he had experienced before. But it was worth it. One painful second later his vision was completely gone.
He shook with more laughter and pain, the next set of words in his head; the next set of instructions.
You’ve touched it. Now he can see you.
He held up his hand again, this time not taking the time to examine it. He placed a finger between his teeth and without a seconds hesitation severed it from his hand. He held the dismembered finger finger in his mouth for a few seconds; taking in the metallic taste of his blood. Now he hesitated slightly, before swallowing the finger whole. The felt the large lump pass through his throat painfully before he moved on to the next finger.
Never ring it. If you hear it, he can touch you.
The last step. The last phase to ridding himself of the creature.
Sarah felt cold. The man who had hit the ground next to her had had no eyes and his hands were covered in blood; his fingers were missing. Why didn’t it bother her? Why was the one thing her mind could think about was the odd bell that had fallen out of his pocket with a hollow clank?
Sarah sat in her room and cried. She couldn’t sleep. Not after he had come.
