"Yeah No Yeah" (Author: Milo DeFrisco)

SCP-XXXX: "Yeah, no, yeah."

Author: Milo DeFrisco

3/XXXX LEVEL 3/XXXX

CLASSIFIED

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Keter

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Item#: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is currently not able to be contained. All SCP-XXXX-2 instances under Foundation control should be quarantined inside of standard human containment cell, and provided basic amenities in the form of written entertainment. All researchers attempting to experiment with SCP-XXXX are to maintain a distance of 3 meters from the anomaly at all times. The use of sound-cancelling devices are mandatory for all personnel attempting to access SCP-XXXX.¹ Any exposure to an instance of SCP-XXXX-2's should be limited to no longer than 5 hours within a 96 hour period. Each researcher assigned to SCP-XXXX should carry a handwritten note from themselves detailing how the phrase "Yeah, no, yeah" makes no sense. On request of other staff, researchers are to read their note, should they show symptoms of SCP-XXXX.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a memetic linguistic concept. SCP-XXXX is mostly present in the state of California. SCP-XXXX has appeared in other locations in the United States as well as outside of the North-American continent; however, these cases show no memetic properties. First reported sightings of SCP-XXXX are projected to have begun in the mid 1990's. SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-2 have been accepted into the common vernacular of the California culture, and so removal via Class-D amnestics or higher has been denied.

After coming into close contact with SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-2 instances, humans then become instances of SCP-XXXX-2. It is currently unknown as to how SCP-XXXX transmits between hosts hypothesized that physical proximity from SCP-XXXX-2 instances is the primary vector of SCP-XXXX. Without the physical element, vocal exposure has shown to mostly form a non-memetic instance. Written forms of SCP-XXXX have shown no memetic properties.

The base symptoms of SCP-XXXX are small in quantity, and currently no symptoms are lethal symptoms are only lethal if the subject has a loss of control in the prefrontal cortex. On it's own, SCP-XXXX is not lethal, and does not hinder normal functions. The most common symptom is a breach in pragmatics involving the phrase: "yeah, no, yeah", or some derivative. All cases of SCP-XXXX seem involuntary, and in severe cases seem painful to the subjects. Other common forms of SCP-XXXX are:

• "Yeah, yeah, no"
• "Yeah, no, no, no"
• "Yeah, no"
• "Yeah, no, no, yeah"
• "No, yeah"
• "No, yeah, no"
• "No, no, Yeah"

The possible permutations of SCP-XXXX are on average 3 to 5 words. on average 3 to 5 words long;however, the length of the instances can be potentially endless. The deeper meaning, if any, of SCP-XXXX is currently under investigation, but several common traits have been found:

1. SCP-XXXX-2 instances do not seem aware of SCP-XXXX, the contradictory nature of its phrasing, or how it breaches general pragmatics.
2. The number of the words "yeah" and "no" have little bearing on the end meaning, but whichever word is in the majority does influence the intended meaning to a certain degree.
3. The first and last words of each instance influences the end meaning, but is not the deciding factor.
4. The longer an instance of SCP-XXXX is, the less the above "rules" apply. Most instances are within 5 words, with some exception.
5. Tone and body language seem to be the determining factors. However, similar to most of the above findings, this point is dependent on conversational context and later affirmation or denial of true meaning.

The following logs are snippets from interviews with instances of SCP-XXXX-2, performed by Dr. Milagros.

+ Interview 1

Interviewed: An instance of SCP-XXXX-2. Not under Foundation control. Age:22

Interviewer: Dr. ██████ Milagros.

Foreword: Subject is an otherwise "normal" citizen of San Jose, California. Subject is not informed of their nature as a SCP-XXXX-2 instance, nor that either SCP-XXXX or SCP-XXXX-2 instances exist in any capacity. Interview is posed as a job interview regarding a listing calling for "young capable applicants". The remainder of the listing is non-specific and ordinary in nature. Dr. Milagros is intent on recording the number of SCP-XXXX instances that show during the interview.

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Begin Log, 05/12/2005, 12:35 AM(GMT)

Dr. Milagros: Good afternoon, Mr. Hart. How are you?

Subject: Just fine, thanks.

Dr. Milagros: Great. I want to start with your experience with theater? You listed 2 years of, uh…let's see here, college level theater, correct?

Subject: Yeah, that's right. I also listed my castings below that-

Dr. Milagros: Yes, I noticed. Though to be frank, I'm not sure listing "Tree in Wizard Of Oz" was the best move.

Subject: Yeah, yeah, no, I meant to take that out.

Dr. Milagros notes an appearance of SCP-XXXX on a notepad.

End Log, 05/12/2005 1:41 PM(GMT)

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Notes: Number of SCP-XXXX instances: 8. Subject showed signs of mild anxiety when Dr. Milagros noted instances of SCP-XXXX; however, these have been deemed unimportant as they correlate with general anxiety from judgement. Further tests to clarify the nature of SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-2 are approved.

[REDACTED FOR BREVITY]²

+ Interview 3

Interviewed: An instance of SCP-XXXX-2. Not under Foundation control. Age:35

Interviewer: Dr. ██████ Milagros.

Foreword: Subject is an otherwise "normal" citizen of San Francisco, California. Subject is not informed of their nature as a SCP-XXXX-2 instance, nor that either SCP-XXXX or SCP-XXXX-2 instances exist in any capacity. Interview is posed as a survey regarding young adults living in San Francisco. Dr. Milagros requests a more casual setting for testing. Dr. Milagros is intent on recording the number of SCP-XXXX instances that show during the interview.

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Begin Log, 07/04/2005, 2:33 PM(GMT)

Subject: Hey, come on in.

Dr. Milagros: Thank you. Nice place you've got here.

Subject: Yeah, yeah, no, it's modest, but it's home. Please, take a seat. Can I get you anything Mr…

Dr. Milagros: ██████, just call me ██████.

Subject: Sure thing, call me Carson. So, what did you want to talk to me about?

Dr. Milagros: We’re just trying to get in touch with the young adults living here in “San Fran”, as I said over the phone. I’ll just be asking you some questions to get to know you better.

Subject: Cool cool, alright, uh… let’s get started!

End Log, 07/04/2005 4:32 PM(GMT)

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Notes: Number of SCP-XXXX instances: 13. Subject noted to be in a relaxed state for the interview, and acted amiable and courteous. Current theory is that the subjects age as well as the setting relates to an increase or decrease in SCP-XXXX instances. Further testing has been approved to clarify the nature of SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-2.

+ INCIDENT REPORT SCP-XXXX-A

Foreword: The following audio recorded from break room in site-██. Dr. ██████ Milagros and Dr. ████ Mauro are lounging on a lunch break.

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Begin recording, 07/05/2005, 12:19 PM(GMT)

Dr. Milagros: Hey.

Dr. Mauro: Hi. Finally get a good lunch, or are you still eating that junk food?

Dr. Milagros: Just some bologna and cheese sandwiches. Keeping it simple and safe, I've been having some stomach issues.

Dr. Mauro: Hmm. You should eat rice-based foods. It’s more eco and ergonomic. Good for the planet, the body, and the mind. Maybe you should be eating rice stuff more huh?

Dr. Milagros: Yeah, yeah, no, I get that. I just can't stand ri-

Dr. Mauro: Wait… what did you just say?

Dr. Milagros: …… I can't stand rice?

Dr. Mauro: You don't realize what you just said?

Dr. Milagros: Oh haha, very funny. Would you stop trying to pull some kinda joke and let me eat my lunch?

Dr. Mauro: Oh god. You don’t know.

Dr. Milagros: Don’t know what? You’re being a real-

Dr. Mauro: (into com unit) Security, I need a group here stat! We have a containment breach!

Dr. Milagros: Mauro, that’s not a toy. You could cause serious damage. And what containment breach?

End recording, 07/05/2005, 12:20 PM(GMT)

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Notes: Dr. Milagros was put into quarantine as of 07/05/2005 by order of Dr. Mauro and with support from Site Director. The Site Director has appointed Dr. Mauro lead researcher as of 07/05/2005. Further testing has been approved to clarify the nature of SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-2. Caution is advised.

Memetic nature of SCP-XXXX, as well as vector logged, and description edited. Further testing was then postponed on Dr. Mauro's orders on 07/08/2005, pending new interview procedures, and a shift in focus for future tests. Testing resumed 09/04/2006. Time in-between testing dates attributed to "lack of funding and interest", as well as "other testing taking priority.³”

The following are snippets from interviews with instances of SCP-XXXX-2, performed by Dr. Mauro with Dr. █████ assisting.

+ Interview 4

Subject: D-7012 forcefully infected with SCP-XXXX. Age:43

Interviewer: Dr. Mauro, with Dr. █████ assisting.

Foreword: The interview takes place in a standard humanoid containment cell with a one way mirror connecting to an observation room. Dr. Mauro is located in the adjacent observation room, Dr. █████ is located in the room, along with the Subject. Dr. Mauro notes the intent of this test is to set a control for further tests.

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Begin Log, 09/04/2006, 2:33 PM(GMT)

Dr. █████: I am going to ask you a series of questions, please answer them as truthfully as you can.

D-7012: Come on, do we really need to be doing this?

Dr. █████: …please answer them as truthfully as you can.

D-7012: Ugh…fine. Ask your damn questions.

Dr. █████: What is your name?

D-7012: ████ ██████.

Dr. █████: Age?

D-7012: You know my fucking age.

There is a noted silence as Dr. █████ points towards the one way mirror, his clipboard, and then the subject.

D-7012: …43.

Dr. █████: Good. What's your opinion on cheese?

D-7012: Is this really nece-

Dr. Mauro: Answer the question, I hope I don't have to remind you that failure to comply will result in termination. Dr. █████, continue.

Dr. █████: Ahem, what is your opinion on cheese?

D-7012: ….Yeah, no, it's fine I guess.

End Log, 09/04/2006, 3:00 PM(GMT)

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Notes: Number of SCP-XXXX instances: 3. Findings consistent with previous research, testing deemed adequate for a control, in spite of subject's unwillingness to cooperate. Further testing has been approved to clarify the nature of SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-1.

+ Interview 5

Subject: D-7012 forcefully infected with SCP-XXXX. Age:43

Interviewer: Dr. Mauro, with Dr. █████ assisting.

Foreword: Same settings as the previous test. Before the interview, Subject was administered a mild psychoactive drug to partially shut off the prefrontal cortex.

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Begin log, 09/07/2006, 2:31 PM(GMT)

Dr. █████: I am going to ask you a series of questions, please answer them as truthfully as you can.

D-7012: Fine. Ask away.

Dr. █████: …. what is your name?

D-7012: ████ ██████

Dr. █████: What is your age?

D-7012: I'm 88.

Dr. █████: Come on 7012.

D-7012: My name is ████. You just fucking asked me what it was.

Dr. Mauro: Answer him D-7012.

D-7012: (yelling) My name is-

Dr. █████ gets up from the interview table quickly, causing a loud noise. Dr. Mauro and D-7012 fall silent.

Dr. █████: (visibly annoyed) Is all this really necessary? He's fine, Mauro.

Dr. Mauro: Sit down, Dr. █████. We'll talk after, this is affecting the test results. Continue the test, or I'll move your assignment somewhere else.

D-7012: Yeah █████. Be a good little bitch and listen to big Doc Mauro.

There's a couple seconds of silence, followed by an audible sigh from Dr. █████. Dr. █████ sits back at the interview desk.

D-7012: Hah. I thought you had a bit more balls than that █████. Oh well.

Dr. █████: Just… just answer the questions 701-

D-7012: ████. My name is ████.

Dr. █████ looks toward the observation room hesitantly

Dr. Mauro: (audibly sighs) Fine, call it whatever it wants, just continue.

Dr. █████: Great. ████, what's your age?

D-7012: I'm 43. Was that so hard?

Dr. █████: Alright, what is your opinion on Cheese?

D-7012: Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, it's fine.

End Log, 09/04/2006, 2:53 PM(GMT)

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Notes: Number of SCP-XXXX instances: 9. Noted increase in SCP-XXXX instances. Further testing with more psychoactive drugs approved.

+ Interview 6

Subject: D-7012 forcefully infected with SCP-XXXX. Age:43

Interviewer: Dr. Mauro, with Dr. █████ assisting.

Foreword: Same settings as the previous test. Before the interview, Subject has been administered a mixture of psychoactive drugs to shut down a majority of the prefrontal cortex, as well as targeting the dorsolateral specifically. Subject restrained in a chair for their own and other's safety.

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Begin log, 09/06/2006, 12:02 PM(GMT)

Mumbling can be heard coming from D-7012, under which the following audio can be heard:

Dr. █████: Are you sure we should do this?

Dr. Mauro: Just do it, he's restrained. You're safe. Do I need to remind you, again, who the lead is here?

Dr. █████ approaches the interview desk.

Silence.

Dr. Mauro: Ahem.

Dr. █████: …I am going to ask you a series of questions, please answer the-

D-7012: Yeah, yeah, no, no, yeah, no.

Dr. █████: …Please answer them as truthfully as you can.

Silence ensues, with slight mumbling of "yeah" and "no" emanating from D-7012.

Dr. █████: Do you unde-

D-7012: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-

D-7012 continues to trail off saying "yeah".

Dr. █████: (to Dr. Mauro) Is this really necessary? Look at him, he's clearing going insane.

Dr. Mauro: Continue the test.

Dr. █████: …What is your name?

D-7012: Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no… ████ ██████.

Dr. █████ shows considerable discomfort.

Dr. █████: What is your age?

D-7012: No, no, yeah, no, yeah….. fore-yeah, forty- yeah, no, yeah, forty three, yeah, yeah.

Dr. █████: What… What is your opinion… on cheese?

D-7012: (Increasing in volume and energy.) Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, no, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, yeah, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-

D-7012 appears to be in some form of anger, distress, fear, or pain. D-7012's chair begins shaking as they lurch and move.

D-7012: (Screaming) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, yeah, no, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, yeah, no, no, no, yeah, yeah, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-

Dr. █████: (Yelling) Oh shit!

At this point, D-7012 rips out of their bindings, standing and continuing to shout and scream. Dr. █████ shuffles to the corner of the room, expressing signs of stress and fear.

Dr. Mauro: This test is over, get in there and knock him out!

D-7012 approaches Dr. █████ slowly, continuing to scream "yeah" and "no."

Dr. █████: (Screamed) Help! Help! Help, help, help, yeah, help, help, yeah, yeah, no, help, no, oh god, no, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, yeah-

Dr. █████ is then presumably infected with SCP-XXXX, and joins in screaming, synchronizing with D-7012. 2 Security Officers proceed to enter the cell, incapacitating both D-7012 and Dr. █████.

Dr. Mauro: Ugh…. Shit.

End log, 09/06/2006, 12:07 PM(GMT)

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Notes: Number of SCP-XXXX instances: Indiscernible, but upwards of 6. D-7012 continued to show signs of increased aggression, strength, and SCP-XXXX instances long after psychoactive drugs had left his system, all seemingly uncontrolled. After several failed attempts to pacify D-7012 and Dr. █████, who appeared to be in near perfect synchrony with D-7012 when both were conscious, both were terminated on order of the site director.⁴

Following the events of testing on 09/06/2006, Dr. Mauro has been removed from the research team for SCP-XXXX by order of O5-██. Due to the non-harmful nature of SCP-XXXX, and Dr. Milagros' private findings while in quarantine on combating SCP-XXXX, Dr. Milagros was released from quarantine, and put back on the research team as the acting lead, by order of O5-██. Further testing of SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-2 is not currenty approved by the 05 council. Upon Dr. Milagros' orders, SCP-XXXX's containment procedures are to be updated with his personal findings.

[This File Requires Level 4 Access] 

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The following is an email chain between Dr. Milagros and Dr. Mauro.

Date: 09/08/2006
From: Dr. Milagros
To: Dr. Mauro
Subject: SCP-XXXX

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Dr. Mauro,
I've been looking over the documents related to SCP-XXXX after my release, and some of the stuff here is concerning. I haven't even finished reading them, and i'm compelled to contact you. Why did you so drastically change the testing environment and methodology? We were supposed to examine the nature of SCP-XXXX, not test it's upper limits. Your failure to adhere to our primary directive caused the death of more than one, and a waste of Foundation resources and time. Do you have some kind of information not contained in the documentation that explains this?

Confused and concerned,
Dr. Milagros

Date: 09/09/2006
From: Dr. Mauro
To: Dr. Milagros
Subject: RE: SCP-XXXX

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Dr. Milagros,
Firstly, you have no right to judge my methodology, need i remind you that an O5 themselves gave me backing? I was asked for results and to find out the nature of SCP-XXXX, and the best way to do that was to push an instance of SCP-XXXX-2 to it's mental limits. It was necessary for progress. If you have concerns with my way of handling things, feel free to bring it up to the above mentioned authorities, but i can assure you they will tell you the same.

From the desk of Dr. Mauro.

Date: 09/10/2006
From: Dr. Milagros
To: Dr. Mauro
Subject: RE: RE: SCP-XXXX

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Dr. Mauro,
Must I remind YOU that you were removed from lead on this project by an O5? Must i also remind you that your mistakes, again, caused several deaths, and only my findings during quarantine saved others? I don't think that you're fully aware of your current position in the Foundation. Pardon my candor, but you've substantially fucked up. I'm trying to help you out of this situation, and you're aggressive? Work with me, and we might find something to keep you from further punishment. This is for your own good, and to tie up loose ends in the documentation.

Just trying to help,
Dr. Milagros.

Date: 09/11/2006
From: Dr. Mauro
To: Dr. Milagros
Subject: RE: RE: RE: SCP-XXXX

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Dr. Milagros,
I would argue that you don't seem to realize YOUR position in the Foundation right now. You were so intent on investigating on non invasive terms, that you got infected by the very memetic you were assigned to study. If that isn't considered a lack of professionalism, i'm not sure what would be. The Foundation is about results, at the end of the day that is what's important. I found out much more about the nature of SCP-XXXX than you, and i learned of it's lethal nature, something you failed to acknowledge during study. Due to my findings, more strict precautions will be taken. I'm a hero in this scenario, and you are just the fool who failed before me.

From the desk of Dr. Mauro.

Date: 09/12/2006
From: Dr. Milagros
To: Dr. Mauro
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: SCP-XXXX

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Dr. Mauro,
Are you fucking kidding me. You must be joking. I've tried to be cordial, i've tried to help you out of the hole you dug yourself, and you still refuse to get down from your ivory tower? Here are the facts:

1. SCP-XXXX is not dangerous.
2. Your research only proved you are unfit for duty.
3. The O5s were only interested because SCP-XXXX is uncontainable. As far as they are concerned, both of us are just unremarkable faculty of the Foundation, one of which made a huge error.
4. While some stricter containment procedure will be put in place, neither of us found a way to remove SCP-XXXX as a whole, but i did find a way to combat it.

You showed a blatant disregard for your duties given to you. You spent time on projects clearly marked as a lower priority than SCP-XXXX, and i've heard from others that you were increasingly antagonistic during study, saying they should be glad you're still working on this at all? You should have been trying to potentially save lives from a large scale memetic spread, and instead you were showboating, shirking duty, and bragging about special treatment from the O5s. You also mistreated staff, and brandished your backing like a weapon. You're not special. You're not a hero. The O5s back a large amount of projects, this being a very low priority for them still. Must I also remind you, that I am the lead. I was before, and now, after your fuck up, here I am again. I can't believe you're so arrogant as to believe you'll still come out on top of all this? Just because SCP-XXXX is shown to no longer be as serious of a situation as we once believed, what matters is how you reacted when we thought it was. I was infected when we did not know I could be, but you fucked up when you very well felt the possible dangers of SCP-XXXX. Dr. █████ was a good friend of ours and a damn good researcher, and your shit headed ideas caused his death, among many others i regret to not have known better. I am eager to see what you have to say for yourself.

Spitefully,
Dr. Milagros

Date: 09/12/2006
From: Dr. Milagros
To: Dr. Mauro
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: SCP-XXXX

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Dr. Milagros,
Fuck you.

From the desk of Dr. Mauro

Dr. Milagros was then found to be assaulting Dr. Mauro in hallway ███. Security personnel intervened and separated the two, placing them into detention cells pending the site directors decision.

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On order of the site director and O5-██, both Dr. Mauro and Dr. Milagros were placed on mandatory leave and probation. After psych evaluations, 2 seminars on proper handling of resources, and 2 seminar on workplace behavior, both were allowed to continue research on 11/05/2006, with the addition of strikes to their records.

Note 1: "I'm not really sure why I was quarantined for so long. Studies show that SCP-XXXX-2 instances are harmless without EXTREME tampering. My thanks to Dr. Mauro for LOCKING ME UP, and then proving later that my quarantine was completely unnecessary. If Dr. Mauro had done just a bit more research into HINDERING SCP-XXXX, they would have realized locking me up was useless." - Dr. Milagros, 1 day after his release from quarantine.

Addendum 1: There have been 58 recorded combinations of "yeah" and "no" in instances of SCP-XXXX-2. Due to some phrases exceeding a previously assumed word cap of 25, this is not considered the maximum word permutations available but more of an average figure.

Addendum 2: Concerns have been expressed towards the nature of SCP-XXXX as a breach in linguistic capabilities. Dr. Mauro has noted the possibility of SCP-XXXX's analogous properties "evolving" to cause subjects to lose control of their prefrontal cortex. Any actions regarding these concerns has been shut down by O5-██. O5-██ does however note that they are aware of these concerns and will be mindful of them in the future.

STATEMENT FROM THE O5 COUNCIL

The Foundation is not the place for clear misuse of time and resources. The purpose of the Foundation is a serious matter. The Foundation is a place where even small mistakes can result in consequences such as death to personnel, catastrophic breaches, and even an AK-Class-end-of-the-world-scenario. We believe that it will not be necessary to remind staff members that there is a precedent of demotion or even termination for staff members who display clear mishandling of any SCP or its associated testing.

Footnotes

1. These devices may include, but are not limited to, Foundation approved headphones, ear plugs, or other equipment not specified.

2. Removed during the mass revision of SCP-XXXX’s document by order of the 05 council. The interview lacked sufficient findings, and its notes lasted far longer than other interview notes.

3. Upon investigation, both claims were proven incorrect. O5-██ gave SCP-XXXX’s research a high priority, and was intent on receiving the research findings. Dr. Mauro was also only assigned to 2 other research projects at the time of his claims.

4. All attempts to reason or converse with either D-7012 or Dr.█████ resulted in failure, and the 2 security personnel involved were infected. The 2 security personnel afflicted recovered safely having been found to be in the early stages of memetic internalization.