Dr Mimic

Desk of Infinity

item #: SCP-xxxx

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX's desktop contents must be placed in one or more of the four drawers. The desk itself is to be stored in a 0.79m by 1.55m by 0.78m SCP Foundation wooden storage crate with the contents of said crate posted on the side or on top of the crate. The contents page that is to be posted must include a brief description, SCP number, and level of personnel required to open the crate printed on it.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a simple stainless steel office desk with 5 drawers on it. The first central drawer from the outside appears only several centimeters deep, but when opened the drawer descends for an undetermined distance. Drop tests have resulted in no resonating sound to signify a drop. See addendum "Bomb Drop." Pressure and gravity remain constant throughout the entire depth of the drawer. On either side of the desk are two separate drawers. A Locking mechanism is deployed when one drawer on one side is opened and prevents another drawer from opening. Each drawer can be pulled out for at least 1 mile without stopping. When no force is applied to hold open one of SCP-XXXX' drawers they close at an accelerating rate. See addendum "The Valkyrie." Additionally, deployable stilts with wheels at the fold off of the bottom of the drawer every 1.5 meters. These stilts hold up the drawers to SCP-XXXX and are slightly wobbly, no matter the weight of the payload held by the drawer.
Other items that were found atop SCP-XXXX that have been strongly deemed related to SCP-XXXX are as follows SCP-XXXX-1 is a large calendar with months and the days displayed on sheets of paper. Several dates are marked consistently such as May 6th. Every May 6th is marked as “It’s My Birthday!” in black permanent marker. Several other significant dates yet to come are also noted such as 9/11 2.0 memorial set for 17 years from now with notes saying to “take kids to ██████████ memorial in California.” The building or memorial site spoken of matches no named building in all of the states of California and is presumed to be a building that is yet to be built. Every event is currently being deciphered due to the horrible handwriting used.
SCP-XXXX-2 is a glass of water that appears half full. However, when the glass is poured water continues to pour out at a rate of 10 liters per second. No limit to the amount of water produced has yet been observed with the longest test producing ████ liters of water.
SCP-XXXX-3 is a metal Slinky that once set in motion continues to move until stopped or met with an incline greater than the incline of when the Slinky was set in motion.
SCP-XXXX-5 A pen that has yet to run out of ink after tests committed by the SCP foundation. The pen as so far been recorded to have used the equivalent amount of ink to have drawn a 243 km long line.
SCP-XXXX-6 This number has been given to the files contained in the upper right drawer of SCP-XXXX. The files have no organization pattern and have been found to contain documents from dates as far back as 1971. Each day, a random file of varying size and content appears on the desktop. If a date is circled, a file containing information on that date will appear when the Desk is not being observed. These files have the same horrible hand writing as the calendar. If a date is filled in with any commands it is found to be erased the next day, or when next unobserved. Requests for certain files must be issued as a reminder on a date in the future. The text used for the retrieval of a file on the ███████████ ██████ was written as "Don't forget to bring the file on ███████████ ██ ████████ for presentation!"

Addendum: Bomb Drop

Foreword: The preceding dialogue is a recording and video of a lab of 2 researchers during an anomalous event that could be deemed a failed breach. Beginning Dialogue was expunged due to a report on an SCP with higher clearance required.

Begin Log

Researcher 1: “Uh… Scott? The bomb timer just uh… started.”

Researcher 2: “it- wait, WHAT?!”

Researcher 1: “Yeah, I was sitting there eating the Chinese my wife got me and now it’s just counting down from 10.”

Researcher 2: “Ten…? What, ten what, which units of time, cause it better not be seconds.”

Researcher 1: “Uhhhh…” Researcher 1 leans back into the room only leaving his hand outside the door holding the knob. “Minutes.”

Researcher 2: “…”

Researcher 1: “I didn’t touch anything.”

Researcher 2: “Oh, did ya now? That bomb wasn’t an anomalous object. What set it off? THE FORTUNE COOKIE NEXT TO THE PAIR OF CHOP STICKS YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE?” Researcher 2 leaves his swivel chair and desk swiftly, causing it to fall over. He runs to press a red button under a plastic cover.

Facility Speakers: “EAAAANNT. EAAAANNT. EAAAANNT. Attention. A level 8 bomb threat had been reported in section 4-A on floor 12. Please remain calm and evacuate the facility with” an obvious shift in tone “slight haste” “after ceasing all SCP related activity.”

Researcher 1: “YOU ARE UNDERSTADABLY ANGRY!”

Researcher 2: “WHY ARE YOU YELLING THAT?!” Researcher 2 runs into the room that researcher 1 is leaning out of.
Researcher 1: “Because a NEUCLEAR BOMB is about to go off and YOU THINK ITS MY FAULT!”

Researcher 2: “WELL YELLING ISNT GOING TO HELP ANYONE NOW IS IT?” both researchers are now standing over a small nuclear bomb about 2 meters long with a plate removed, revealing wires of all kinds and a jerry rigged timer made from an alarm clock wired in.

Researcher 1: whispering “oh ok, lets try and defuse the bomb.”

Researcher 2: “First of all, don’t whisper. Second of all, ” sarcasm and judgmental tone “do you know how to defuse the bomb?”

Researcher 1: “No.”

Researcher 2: “ThenShutTheFuckUp!”

Researcher 1: “… we could feed it to 682?”

Researcher 2: “Na na na na. This is the part where you ZIP IT!”

Researcher 1:“we could try putting it in 291”

Researcher 2: “That’s more than a mile away now isn’t it? Plus, how are you going to carry a nuke > with you? Sorry, but that idea is out of the imaginary window. I know it hurts your brain but please > try and think a little bit.”

Researcher 1: “How bout that desk? XXXX?”

Researcher 2: “I said SHUT TH-… oh. That could work”

Researcher 1: “But it’s nowhere near here.”

Researcher 2:“I appreciate you taking my advice to think, but I happened to be the one who ran the original tests to find it’s anomalous effects and found…” the researchers are jogging in lab coats down the hall into a cement storage room filled with wooden crates stacked on top of one another. “that the legs. Hold on, grab that crowbar.”

Researcher 1: Grabs the crowbar “What legs?”

Researcher 2: “the little wheely things that pop out from under the drawers to support it, they are slightly wobbly”

Researcher 1: “Slightly wobbly isn’t what we are looking for. We’d need something that could carry a nuke, not a stack of files.”

Researcher 2: “That’s the thing, they are always slightly wobbly-”

Researcher 1: “Yes I know that, what’s your point”

Researcher 2: “-Weather you put a paper clip post-it note or the empire state building, they will be slightly wobbly!”

Researcher 1: “So It can hold the Nuke?”

Researcher 2: “Is the sky blue?”

Researcher 1: “Uh… I don’t…”

Researcher 2: “What?”

Researcher 1:

Researcher 2: picks up a clipboard on the side of one of the crates. “Break this one open. This one here…” sounds of wood cracking and nails being pulled out of wood distort audio for several seconds “Great help me get it in the hall.” A loud screeching sound covers the audio for about 30 seconds before returning to normal.

Researcher 1: “So I just pull the drawer out? To the lab?”

Researcher 2: “Yes, hurry now.” A squeaky noise like a wheel that needs oil is heard for several seconds accompanied by fast foot steps.

Researcher 1: “Help me push it on!”

Researcher 2: Lets go of the drawer and begins around to help the other researcher, he uses the crowbar.

Researcher 1: “NOW!”

Researcher 2: Both researchers push the bomb into the drawer before it begins to roll back.

Researcher 1: “Lets go!” Both researchers run out of the lab

Researcher 2: “We need to get it in the middle drawer.”

Researcher 1: “Don’t we need to close the drawer?”

Researcher 2: “The locks are only on the drawers on the side.”

Researcher 1: “Ill run ahead and open the middle, you keep pushing it”

Researcher 2: “Ok…” a clink is heard presumably from the opening of a drawer.

Researcher 1: “SHOVE IT DOWN, C’MON!”

Researcher 2: A whistle sound fades out of the audio “CloseIt, closeIt, closeIt”

Researcher 1: “done…” panting and sighs accompanied by nervous laughing

Researcher 2: “How much time was left?”

Researcher 1: “ I don’t know… like 3 minutes? Like. close to 4 minutes… 4:03 was the last I saw
and that was when we put it in the drawer.”

Researcher 2: “I hope that was enough time.”

Researcher 1: “For what?”

Researcher 2: “Fer the ” sighs “bomb to drop enough”

Researcher 1: Sighs “Right.”

Researcher 2: “Oh, damn. Forgot I had this on. I’ll have to get a new tape now.” Click

End Log

Closing Statement: A medal of honor and free lunch for the following 6 months was given to each researcher in gratitude to their actions.

rating: 0+x