Per 
- Info. Test #3: Instant Genius
- ball
- Boltzmann Brain
- Resources for Dinguses
- davinkey
- Cool Jack's Dice Dictation Device
- lavagirl
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be held in a sealed manila folder. This folder is located in filing cabinet Delta-OM-[REDACTED] and is to be locked with a level four identification lock. Testing proposals are to be forwarded to site head of Cognitohazard Research1 Dr. Carven, and must be approved by him and the Ethics Committee before execution.
NOTICE FROM THE SUBCOMMITTEE OF ANOMALY RESTORATION AND PRESERVATION
DATE: 3/8/██
Due to minor wear and tear, including minor charring as a result of SCP-XXXX Test B, the Subcommittee of Anomaly Restoration and Preservation has laminated SCP-XXXX in Polyethylene Terephthalate (PET) plastic.
This change has shown no effect on the anomalous properties of SCP-XXXX
Thank you for your consideration.
— Doctor Malerie Sabbe, Director, SARP
Description: SCP-XXXX is a 8.5 by 11 inch sheet of non-anomalous paper, chemically identical to printer sheets distributed to Foundation employees. On one side, written in black ink which forensically matches that of a pen present on the person of Dr. Keyes at the time of her death, are the words, "Info test #32, instant genius." The words are written in a manner that matches a Calligraphy Analysis Test (or CAT) submitted by the late Dr. Keyes. On the opposite side of the paper, a Class 5 Alteration Visual Cognetohazard in the form of a photograph of Albert Einstein is present. When the cognetohazard is viewed by an organism with the ability to perceive and store information, and the brain is in use as a repository for that information, near instantaneous death occurs.
Image of SCP-XXXX with cognitohazardous effects removed.
Autopsies on standard humans reveal that the cause of death is usually attributed to extreme brain herniation, or the skull breaking open. This herniation is the result of rapid brain expansion, at a rate of approximately 100% its original size in .29 seconds. this expansion ceasing without the death of the subject is yet to be observed. This expansion can be attributed to SCP-XXXXs' anomalous trait, which forces everything that can perceive it to be able to process all information contained completely. The body then directs all available resources to the creation of new neurons and brain matter, in an effort to process correctly. This rapid expansion causes the brain to be crushed against the skull, resulting in both the brain and skull receiving massive amounts of damage. Depending on the size of the brain beforehand, skull density, and size of the subject, some subjects will experience a severe pressure buildup, that if released, can cause the cranium to rupture. Subjects will show signs of severe dehydration and malnourishment prior to expiration, even if not present beforehand. This can be attributed to the rapid creation of brain matter.
Discovery: SCP-XXXX was discovered after a raid of the office of Dr. Keyes, following the rupture of her cranium. Analysis of her notes revealed that Dr. Keyes had been doing extensive unauthorized research into cognitohazards and the possibilities of using them for instantaneous education.
Test A - 3/7/██
Subject:
Standard Xerox WorkCentre 6515/DN Color Multifunction Printer located in staff break room 4 in site ██
Procedure:
SCP-XXXX is placed cognitohazard side down on the photocopying element of the printer. The printer is then given the photocopy command
Results:
the text "ERROR CODE 4e86" was displayed for approximately 5 seconds, and in that time a major heat spike emanating from the printer was detected. After these 5 seconds, internal failure of the machine, caused by a violent explosion of its' internal hard drive, crated a power surge in local systems. Backup generators came online before any major breaches were sustained, however, Jr. Researcher Ms.█████ sustained the brunt of the shockwave created by the blast, resulting in the rupture of several vital organs, and death.
Analysis:
It can be inferred that viewing the cognitohazard, even for an electronic device, causes an information overload. To note, the Xerox WorkCentre 6515/DN Color Multifunction Printer stores recent scans in an internal hard drive for recovery purposes. further testing needed.
Test B - 6/8/██
Subject:
SCP-[REDACTED], An anomalous ████ brand laptop, capable of potentially infinite data storage.
Procedure:
SCP-[REDACTED] is cleared of all information, as to not interfere with any new documents. SCP-XXXX then is scanned by a document digitizer without any internal storage, which itself is connected to SCP-[REDACTED].
Results:
SCP-[REDACTED] showed signs of severe overheating, but no damage was found. SCP-[REDACTED] became unresponsive for 4 hours, after which, normal operation returned. A review of its' files revealed that SCP-XXXX contains the following information:
- A backup of every existing Wikipedia page as of 8/11/2016
- The entirety of Shakespeare's known works
- All of the Oxford English Dictionary
- A file containing uncompressed copies of every video available on History.com as of 9/6/2016
- Hexadecimal code for each pixel of a 1080p render of the Mona Lisa
- Pi calculated to 31.4 trillion decimals
- All known primes
- A PDF document containing the message "welcome to enlightenment."
- Approximately ███ terabytes of highly classified documents from major world governments, stored in a .zip file labeled "can'tRedactThisShit.zip"3
- All information regarding ██-█
Analysis:
Upon further review, it was discovered that all information was uploaded at the exact same time, and no compression was present. Furthermore, despite the nature of its' anomalous properties, SCP-[REDACTED] sustained minor internal damage to many soldering points, presumably caused by overheating.
Test C - 7/11/██
Subject:
D-C8390
Procedure:
D-C8390's brain was removed from the skull, but remained connected to the nervous system. The brain was then stored in a spherical tank 15 meters in diameter. D-C8390 was supplied with large amounts of salt, fat, and water in order to supply the brain with enough material to produce grey matter.
Results:
The brain of D-C8390 swells to the edges of the tank. In the time before the brain hits the edges of the tank, D-C8390 can be seen having extreme convulsions, and appears to be in immense pain. Vital monitoring shows extreme hyponatremia and malnutrition. The brain continues to grow until D-C8390 expires, and the growth ceases. The final measure of the brain is 13.72 meters in diameter.
Analysis:
It can be assumed that the brain expansion stops when the subject expires or runs out of nutrients, not when all the information is processed.
The Ethics Committee has ordered a full stop of human testing of SCP-XXXX. All staff present for the test are to be given the option of psychological leave and site-monitored therapy
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-XXXX is to be held in a clear ziplock bag, which itself is to remain in standard anomalous item containment locker 1226-GACH in site ██, with level 2 access card lock. Removal is only to be permitted for testing purposes, and must be permitted by clearance level 3 or higher. Two armed gaurds are to be stationed outside of locker room GACH, and must thoroughly vet any and all unfamiliar persons on their backgrounds and relationships to cults of any kind. If at any point containment locker 1226-GACH, or any miscellaneous item, begins to bleed outside of testing, contact ██████ for assistance. If any skin-to-skin contact is made with SCP-XXXX, contact site paramedics and inform them of your new blood type and possible total organ failure.
All instances of SCP-XXXX-2 are to be destroyed after test completion, via hydraulic presser with biohazardous fluid collection systems put in place. collected fluids are to be either disposed of or used as a stand-in for O+ neutral-origin blood.
All testing proposals are to be reviewed by Dr. [REDACTED] and the Ethics committee before any preparations are to be made.
Description:
SCP-XXXX-1 appears to be the skull of an adult male, presumably belonging to a high ranking member of one of many branches of sarkic cults, as it seems to be of extreme religious value, due to the multiple attempts at infiltration and recovery of SCP-XXXX-1 by cult members.
When SCP-XXXX-1 comes into contact with an object, henceforth regarded as an instance of SCP-XXXX-2, said object will be able to bleed. Bleeding occurs when any process resulting in material degredation or plastic transformation takes place. the total amount of blood present in an instance of SCP-XXXX-2 is, on average, equal to about 7% of the weight of an SCP-XXXX-2 instance. The blood produced by an SCP-XXXX-2 instance is O+ blood with extremely rare 46,XX/46,XY chimerism and signs of severe hemophilia. Despite these anomalies, the blood formed is largely typical, with healthy amounts of red and white cells, 85 average blood glucose level, etc.
If an instance of SCP-XXXX-2 is an inanimate object, henceforth referred to as SCP-XXXX-2-I, no outward ablormalities are visibleInstances of SCP-XXXX-2-I can potentially have a greatly weakened structural integrity in comparison to their original form, due to the many holes created on the interior of the object in order to create the proper blood vessels.
Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]
Special Containment Procedures: Upon the apparition of SCP-XXXX-1, all Boltzmann-Reyes Entropy Drives4 on present site are to be activated. If SCP-XXXX-1 is still present, tests can be run at a researcher's own discretion, provided that all results are shared with Dr. Manet. For a test to be administered before the activation of a Boltzmann-Reyes Entropy Drive, the expiriment must be approved by a researcher assigned to SCP-XXXX.
All instances of SCP-XXXX are to be tracked VIA satellite imaging, programmed to focus on instances of random and illogical wind patterns. All civilians within a 5 mile radius are to be administered A-class aerosolized amnestics located in aircraft emissions.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a spontaneously manifesting area of approximately 1~1.5 kilomiters in diameter, which has lasted for any time ranging from less than 1 second, to 3.2 days, with periods of inactivity lasting 1 week on average.. Only 1 instance of SCP-XXXX has been reported at the same time. During an instance of SCP-XXXX, random number generators placed in areas outside of SCP-XXXX have displayed a propensity to create patterns, such as, but not limited to, numbers repeating up to five times in a row, counting up and down, and listing the dates of major historical events. This implies that SCP-XXXX is tied to randomness itself, investigation pending.
Due to the nature of SCP-XXXX, truly knowing the mechanisms of which SCP-XXXX works is impossible at this time. The following is a working theory by Dr. Manet. All personnel are to see the following as complete fact, unless directly contradicted by as of yet unrecorded data.
Within the range of SCP-XXXX, probability of random events occurring is greatly changed, either increased or decreased, at random. For example, outside the range of SCP-XXXX, the odds of rolling a one on a six sided die is one in six. However, when within the range of SCP-XXXX, this number can be increased, decreased, and possibly even removed.
While the frequency of these alterations is unknown, the apparent frequency and intensity of these changes seem to increase the closer one is to the center. Consistently located at the center of SCP-XXXX is SCP-XXXX-A, which is so far the only nonrandom occurrence within SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXXX appears to be a humanoid brain and spinal cord which levitates approximately 155 centimetres off the ground. SCP-XXXX-A seems capable of communication through minor manipulation of random chance.5All attempts to physically apprehend or probe SCP-XXXX-A have failed.
NOTE FROM DR.MANET:
My more studious pupils, or for that matter anyone who passes by my lecture halls, a similarity to a certain thought experiment from the late Ludwig Boltzmann. For the luckier of you, I shall explain. Ludwig Boltzmann was a physicist. As well as many other accomplishments, he established the modern definition of entropy, being "the measure of the number of possible microscopic arrangements or states of individual atoms and molecules of a system that comply with the macroscopic condition of the system." long story short, he dealt with the randomness and uncertainty of our universe. In his studies, he theorized that, in the infinite and random decay of the universe, a certain number of particles would come together and form a human brain. This piece of conjecture is meant to point that, given a, infinite amount of time, anything is possible. I personally do not believe these ideas are connected to our present anomaly. As is with anything related to SCP-XXXX, this is most likely just a random event.
Addendum:
The following is of surveillance footage from Incident XXXX-DELTA-5, depicting an SCP-XXXX instance.
VIDEO LOG
DATE: 23/5/2007
NOTE: Recording software is nearly always unreliable within the range of SCP-XXXX. A work around of this issue is to use multiple recording devices at once, overlaying the recordings to find any largely consistent details, a technique proposed by Junior Researcher Evan Yang. Since this revalation, Evan Yang has been placed on the permanent research team for SCP-XXXX.
[BEGIN LOG]
TIME: 12:34 Foundation satellites pick up wind patterns consistent with an apparition of SCP-XXXX, enveloping all of Site-43-RW.
TIME: 12:34 Site Janitorial personnel Harlow Belvin is seen walking down hallway C-RC, drinking what appears to be coffee from a paper cup, received from Wing-J Recreational Facilities.
Mr. Belvin shouts in surprise, dropping his cup, which did not spill. Mr. Belvin proceeds to inspect the cup, which shows sings of extremely low temperatures, including ice crystals forming on the outside of the cup.
TIME: 12:35 SCP-XXXX-A is seen rounding the corner. Mr. Belvin notices the apperition, and proceeds to shout and drop his cup once again. When the cup hits the tile, the coffee inside proceeds to spill out and melt through the floor. A later search showed that a hole approximately 4.33 kilomiteres deep was formed by the effected beverage.
Mr. Belvin attempts to vocalize, but appears to only be able to poorly beatbox Beethoven's “Battle Symphony.”
TIME: 12:36 SCP-XXXX-A continues down the hall, at one point brushing against Mr. Belvin, causing Mr. Belvin to apparantly rearrange his molicules into an approximatley 6500 cm3 lead cube. No activity is seen for 11 minutes and 43 seconds.
TIME: 12:47 A Boltzmann-Reyes Entropy Device is activated. Eyewitness accounts and supplimentary recordings show that SCP-XXXX-A dissipates at this time. The cube which was once Mr. Belvin returns to its' base form. Mr. Belvin is announced dead at the scene.
[END LOG]
NOTES FROM RESEARCHER EVAN YANG:
This is by far one of the most frightening deaths I have seen caused by this anomaly. A message to everyone in contact with this thing, something strange yet harmless can happen, and just as easily, your very molecules can be rearranged into a box of metal. Rest in peace, Harlow.
Interviewed: SCP-XXXX-A
Interviewer: Researcher Evan Yang
Foreword: On 12-12-2012 at 12:12 PM, SCP-XXXX manifests, encompassing all of site 12-L, with the center of the anomaly being located in Research Wing room 1212, which happens to be the office of Evan Yang. This occured "near instantly"6 after the completion of a specialized tape recorder, using the same technique of cross-referencing compound recordings to accuratley record events within the area of SCP-XXXX instances, while also utalizing a random number generator connected to an alphabet theoretically acting as a method for SCP-XXXX-A to communicate. After demonstration of the proper function of the device, SCP-XXXX-A agrees to follow Researcher Yang to Designated Interview Room 12. In leu of punctuation, SCP-XXXX-A stated "PERIOD," "COMMA," etc. as no punctuation was present on Researcher Yang's prototype. For the sake of comprehension, these instances have been replaced by the intended mark. Note that, for the importance of education, this interview shall be displayed with accompanying security footage.
<Begin Log>
Interviewer: "H-hello SCP-XXXX-A, or do you have a name?"
SCP-XXXX-A: HELLO MISTER YANG. I HAVE NO NAME.
Interviewer: "I see. And who am I talking to? Is the brain I am speaking to manipulating this device?"
SCP-XXXX-A: IT IS POSSIBLE YOU ARE SPEAKING TO NOTHING.
Interviewer: "Elaborate."
SCP-XXXX-A: MAYBE THIS QUOTE ON QUOTE ANOMALY YOU ARE SO AFRAID OF IS SIMPLE RANDOM CHANCE. EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DOCUMENTED IS ENTIRELY PROBABLE.
Interviewer: "Probable is not always possible. Whenever you come around, that distinction is gone."
SCP-XXXX-A: BY YOU, ARE YOU REFERRING TO THE SO CALLED BRAIN?
Interviewer: "Yes, is that who I am speaking to?"
SCP-XXXX-A: IN A SENSE, THE BRAIN IS THE EYE OF THE STORM. YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE PUDDLE TO ASK ABOUT HOW THE CLOUD'S DAY WAS.
Interviewer: "I see. That brings me to another question, you have brought up storms, puddles, and such, implying you recognize these things. How do you recall and record information?"
SCP-XXXX-A does not respond
Interviewer: "Answer me, SCP-XXXX-A." (Evan Yang gestures towards a camera in the corner of Interview Room 12.) "We are being watched. If you are deemed no longer usefull, we will be forced to activate a Boltzmann-Reyes Entropy Drive."
SCP-XXXX-A: HOW DO YOU?
Interviewer: "Excuse me? Wait, does your dissipation cause pain? Is the increase of activity in proximity to the brain a form of self-preservation?"
SCP-XXXX-A does not respond
Interviewer: "SCP-XXXX-A."
SCP-XXXX-A: THE BRAIN IS A CONSEQUENCE, NOT A CAUSE. AS FOR MY KNOWLEDGE, THINGS ARE KNOWN OR UNKNOWN, AND BY RANDOM CHANCE, I KNOW MANY THINGS.
Researcher Yang places his head in his hands and sighs.
Interviewer: "That…that seems quite convenient. Do you…do you manipulate randomness directly? Or maybe subconsciously?"
SCP-XXXX-A I AM RANDOMNESS.
Interviewer: "Okay, so, do you maybe have a first memory? That is if you are able to differentiate from memory and knowledge?"
SCP-XXXX-A YES, I CAN REMEMBER. MY FIRST MEMORY IS [REDACTED]
Interviewer: "Oh. That complicates things. Would it [REDACTED]?
SCP-XXXX-A NO. IT IS ALREADY HERE, I DO NOT DICTATE IT.
Interviewer: "Oh, glad to know. By the way, things around here, other than the… brain… seem sort of rational. Why are you protecting this place?"
SCP-XXXX-A I AM NOT. ARE YOU SURE THINGS ARE NORMAL?
Interviewer: "Is that a threat, SCP-XXXX-A?"
SCP-XXXX-A remains silent.
Interviewer: "Alright, we're done here."
Researcher Yang inhales, which he recalls as being a preparation to instruct the observational team to activate an onsite Boltzmann-Reyes Entropy Drive. Beofre researcher Yang is able to speak this command, he violently gags. The gagging continues for approximatley five seconds, until Researcher Yang vomits out twelve genetically identical instances of Carassius auratus, each of which begin reciting the poem The Jabberwocky by Lewis Carol in Pig Latin.
SCP-XXXX-A: GOOD BYE, MISTER YANG. THE CHAT WAS TOLERABLE.
Researcher Yang reaches out towards SCP-XXXX-A, but is stopped when the floor of Designated Testing Room 12 collapses, presumably due to the influence of SCP-XXXX. Twelve personnel are killed by the collapse, and Researcher Yang remains completely unharmed. SCP-XXXX de-manifests. The settling rubble forms a spiraling staircase towards the bottom of the hole.
<End Log, elapsed time: 12 minutes>
Closing Statement: Upon inspection of the remains of Designated Interview Room 12, the twelve personnel killed had ties to the Chaos Insurgency, and had planned an assault, which was to be acted upon at the time of the collapse.
NOTICE: By demand of head SCP-XXXX researcher Evan Yang, all interaction with and experiments involving SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-A are to cease, and any further proposals are to be invariably denied, effective immediately.
Hey bingus, here are some links for when you forget how the site works like a total Doonesbury
[http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-style-resource]
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be held in a 7-meter by 12-meter humanoid containment cell, equipped with a library containing large-print approved works upon SCP-XXXX's request. The northeastern corner of the cell is to be equipped with a manually operated privacy curtain, of which SCP-XXXX is only allowed to use following good behavior. Within the private corner of the chamber, a wardrobe of specially made clothing is to be provided. SCP-XXXX is to be given a room key and a Resident's pass for site 43-IT, chosen specifically for the site's special accommodations for larger anomalies, both of which are subject to removal upon bad behavior. All personnel to come into contact with SCP-XXXX are to treat the anomaly as a normal human being, while refraining from prolonged staring, as to assist the mental health of SCP-XXXX. Flash photography is prohibited.
Description: SCP-XXXX is the David statue by Michealangelo. SCP-XXXX measures 5.17 meters in height and 1.99 meters in width, and weighs approximately 5660 kilograms. SCP-XXXX has a mild limp on the left leg, and limited mobility of the left arm. SCP-XXXX has not displayed any need or desire for nutrition or sleep, and most likely does not require such sustenance, as SCP-XXXX has been able to survive without them for over 500 years.
SCP-XXXX is fully sapient, and possesses above human average problem-solving abilities. SCP-XXXX speaks fluently in Italian, German, French, Swiss, and English. According to interviews with SCP-XXXX, these languages were learned by listening to the conversations of tourists. SCP-XXXX possesses fine motor skills similar to that of a human in the right hand, with limited function of the left.
Despite being made of solid marble, SCP-XXXX is able to move and manipulate their body similarly to a human, being able to apply pressure to their own body and create an indent as if it were flesh. No outside forces are able to manipulate the body of SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXXX is not able to manipulate any other marble statue.
Discovery: The sentience of SCP-XXXX was discovered on 2/11/20██, when SCP-XXXX, then known as the David, stretched his arms and yawned while on his display pedestal located in the Galleria dell'Accademia in Florence, Italy. SCP-XXXX proceeded to climb down from his pedestal and take the scarf of an onlooker, fashioning it into a makeshift loincloth. A high ranking military command officer of the SCP Foundation, General Calvin Stricher, was present due to a personal vacation. General Stricher proceeded to use his authority as a UN official to close off the section of the museum containing the David statue in order to prevent civilians and SCP-XXXX from leaving, under the guise of preventing an art theft. General Stricher then calls a personal friend, Dr. Emanuel Harte, who works as a Scientific Advisory and research Director at site 43-IT. Below is a transcription of the call.
— CALL TIME: 15:36
— CALL DURATION: 1 minute, 47 seconds
HARTE: Hello?
[Screaming in various languages can be heard, along with a blaring klaxon.]
STRICHER: Emanuel! Thank God, I need-
HARTE: Stop. Calm down. Where are you?
STRICHER: Florence, at that famous museum with the statue of the naked guy, the David thing, oh god, what's the name?
HARTE: Galleria dell'A- Wait, is this related to the lockdown in The Hall of Prisoners?
STRICHER: Yeah, right now i'm hiding behind a goddamn torso sticking out of a brick. How the hell'd you know?
[Heavy footsteps are heard, along with the voice of a young italian man pleading for calm. This voice was later determined to be that of SCP-XXXX]
HARTE: We're a secret agency, we know things. Are you saying that an extremely anomalous occurrence is happening in public view? in on of the most popular tourist destinations in all of Italy?
STRICHER: For the love of God, yes! The David just walked up and assaulted someone!
HARTE: What?
STRICHER: I know! It's insane! God, cleanup is gonna suck.
HARTE: Is it hostile? did it see you?
STRICHER: No, hasn't seen me.
HARTE: How many civillians in danger?
STRICHER: Including me? About a hundred.
HARTE: Shit.
STRICHER: Exactly. Put the phone to your walkie, I'm giving verbal commands for an MTF.
Following this incident, SCP-XXXX was captured by MTF-███, and all civilians within the area are detained to assess injury and affliction, and are administered class B amnestics.
Addendum:
Interviewed: SCP-XXXX
Interviewer: Dr. Rosa Berlusconi, site therapist.
Foreword: 2 days after acquisition, SCP-XXXX was psychologically assessed by Dr. Berlusconi, and was identified as "low-risk, as well as traumatized from over half a century of people gawking at him naked." for the purpose of extracting information, Dr. Berlusconi was authorized to conduct interviews with SCP-XXXX in order to ensure SCP-XXXX's continued mental stability. Dr. Berlusconi is to be briefed on all desired information before each session. The following interview was conducted in Italian, SCP-XXXX's native language, and then later translated to English.
<Begin Log>
Dr. Berlusconi: Hello, SCP-XXXX, how have you found your stay so far?
SCP-XXXX: Well… it is quite nice to have clothes for once… I still get the feeling of people staring at me, but this time with labcoats and notepads rather than Hawaiian shirts and cameras reading posters about my penis size, so a bit better I guess.
[Repeat as necessary]
<End Log, [optional time info]>
Closing Statement: [Small summary and passage on what transpired afterward]
[[footnoteblock]]
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be held within Anomalous Item Locker F-84 in site 36-US. The button on SCP-XXXX is to be covered with an acrylic bubble in order to prevent any accidental activations of SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties. The batteries necessary for the function of SCP-XXXX are to be placed next to SCP-XXXX. All testing proposals are to be reviewed by Head Researcher Dr.[REDACTED]. Any person or persons found to be involved with or related to anyone involved with GOI-███ (Las VegaBonds) are to be interrogated on the topic of SCP-XXXX. MTF-███ (Eyes in the Sky) is to be fromed with the purpose of tracing down any GOI-███ members.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a rectangular device, measuring 10cm in length, 6cm in width, and 1cm in thickness. On one end is a spiraled antenna, ending in a red plastic ball.7On the backside of SCP-XXXX, a label printed on DYMO brand label paper reads "Cool Jack's Dice Dictation Device. CASINO DICE ONLY." Also present is a battery case which accepts two AAA batteries.
On the front is a 2 by 3 number pad, each labeled with pips corresponding to the sides of a dice in ascending order. When pushed, a key is indented, signifying the desired outcome of the next die roll. Only one button can be selected at a time, as pressing a button while another is already selected causes the previously selected button to rise. It is impossible for all buttons to be selected. Also present on the front is a circular red button with a radius of 2cm, acting as an activator for SCP-XXXX's anomalous effects.
In order for an object to be targeted, the red button located on the front of SCP-XXXX must be pressed while SCP-XXXX is pointed at an item. It is very easy to miss, as there is no way to display what item has been selected.
When SCP-XXXX is activated while targeting a fair 19cm 6-sided die, the next roll will invariably land with the selected side facing up. When SCP-XXXX targets an item that is not a fair 19cm 6-sided die, the item will be compressed into the form of a 19cm 6-sided die, retaining it's original weight. the compression is invariably 2.43 seconds long. If the selected item is smaller than a 19cm 6-sided die, it will inflate to fit the dimensions of a 19cm 6-sided die. If SCP-XXXX is targeting an unfair 19cm 6-sided die, the weight of the die will be redistributed.
Discovery: SCP-XXXX was recovered from the storage room of █████ Casino, located on the Las Vegas strip. The item was only known to the foundation after a letter was sent to the front door of the cover building for site 36-US. A copy of the letter is shown below.
Dear Feds,
Word around some circles is that you people like to take things you don't understand.
Well, maybe you all can get rid of this cursed thing. You see, I am blind. I am also very skilled in making things. I made something. Because I made it, I used it perfectly. However, I did not account for those lacking the sight I do, not being able to aim this damned thing properly. Lost a good Counter8 this way. I'd rather this be held in a box than the hand of someone with a grudge.
I will try to stay careful in the future.
Regards, Cool Jack
P.S. Disregard any and all grammatical mistakes. I am not the one writing.
Below is a summary of all tests involving SCP-XXXX
Test A - Date
Subject: A novelty 1cm plastic die, weighing approximately .92 grams.
Procedure: The dice is placed on a sheet of cardboard as to prevent accidental targeting of the floor. SCP-XXXX is set to six, and activated while targeting the novelty dice.
Results: The die expands to a 19cm cube. The expansion propels the die upward, which travels at approximately 3.7cm/s and stops after hitting the ceiling 10m high. The item then drops to the floor, shattering.
Analysis: Site 36-US Testing Oversee Committee would like to remind all Researchers that the laws of physics still apply to most anomalous items. Please keep it in mind when writing your Junior Thesis Test.
Test B - Date
Subject: A male // Pan troglodytes// (Chimpanzee) weighing 53kg
Procedure: SCP-XXXX is set to one and activated while targeting the specimen.
Results: The Chimpanzee vocalizes in pain, which ceases after .5 seconds, as the specimen presumably expires. The Chimpanzee is further compressed into a 19cm cube. While the Chimpanzee is compressing, copious amounts of blood and viscera emit from the ape, which in turn is compressed back into the forming cube. After 2.43 seconds, the compression ceases.
Analysis: "The die formed by the Chimpanzee had a density of 2789.4g/cm3, about 260 times denser than lead. Be careful. The Foundation has already lost ██ sites to black holes."-Dr.[REDACTED]
Test C - Date
Subject: a 10 meter by 10 meter cube of solid lithium, weighing 530,000 kilograms.
Procedure: SCP-XXXX is set to one and activated while targeting the cube.
Results: A sound of metal straining is heard, with no visible change to the cube. After 1.43 seconds, a chunk of metal breaks off of the cube and compresses into a 19cm die.
Analysis: The crater left in the lithium cube measured 4.36m3, suggesting a size limitation to the effect of SCP-XXXX
Test D - Date
Subject: A glass mirror with no backing aimed at a 45 degree angle, with a clipboard next to it.
Procedure: SCP-XXXX is set to four and pointed at the mirror, in an attempt to find if SCP-XXXX uses a form of infrared light to select a target.
Results: Upon activation, the mirror shatters violently, with shards spraying in every direction. After .73 seconds, all shards are propelled back towards the forming cube. No further reaction is recorded.
Analysis: "Of course it's not light-based targeting, the [EXPLATIVE] was blind!"-Dr. [REDACTED]
Test E - Date
Subject: A closed 40cm by 30cm cardboard box containing 236 loose sheets of printer paper marked for disposal.
Procedure: SCP-XXXX is pointed at the subject, set to six, and activated.
Results: The cardboard box begins to shrink rapidly, slowing drastically as it meets resistance from the papers. After 1.22 seconds, the bottom of the box opens explosively, ejecting all papers in a mangled state.
Analysis:
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be held in a standard humanoid containment area in Remote Site 0-11, which is to have all walls and doors lined with one meter of hafnium carbonitride, which itself is to be cooled by a constant flow of liquid helium. SCP-XXXX is to constantly wear a foundation asset jumpsuit lined externally with poly-para-phenylene terephthalamide as to prevent any external injuries, resulting in bleeding. The inside of the suit is to be lined in cotton as to prevent abrasions of the skin when in contact with the suit. Upon the potential event of SCP-XXXX bleeding, a complete lockdown of Remote Site 0-11 is to be ordered until internal temperatures return to normalcy. All items destroyed during the lockdown are to be replaced at the request of SCP-XXXX and approval of the oversight committe.
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