DrDuckworth

Special Containment Procedures: Currently all instances of SCP 0000-1 are to contained at site 09 in standard 8 by 8.5 foot shipping containers. Personnel are to periodically inspect instances of SCP 0000-1 as to ensure that a second 'Quack Quack' incident doesn't occur. Personnel are to be encouraged to offload instances of SCP 0000 to

• Personnel stationed at other sites.
• Friends and/or family.
• Rubber duck collectors.
• Toy stores.
• Roadside souvenir shops.

Non-monetary rewards ranging from boxes of Spider-man themed Band-Aid brand adhesive bandages, to gift certificates to Applebee's restaurants are to be given to personnel who successfully offload fifty or more instances of SCP 0000-1.

Description: SCP 0000-1 is the current designation for approximately 400,234,990,82 non-anomalous rubber ducks which were created by SCP 0000 during the 'Quack Quack' incident in which SCP 0000 self-replicated to the degree that Site 09 as well as the neighboring county of [REDACTED] had to be evacuated due to what personnel describe as a "Metric duck-ton of those things".

SCP 0000 appears to be a regular rubber duck, save for the 'Elvis' glasses on its face.

Currently the location of SCP 0000's remains are unknown, although personnel believe that it has been buried under instances of SCP 0000-1, misplaced or deliberately stolen by a personnel member, or inadvertently offloaded with instances of SCP 0000-1.

Below are the interview logs pertaining to SCP 0000, as well as logs pertaining to the 'Quack Quack' incident.

+ Interview Log 1

Interviewer: Dr. Gideon Stanhope.

Interviewee: Agent Nightingale.

Begin Log.

Dr. Stanhope: "So, when exactly did you start noticing the ducks?"

Agent Nightingale [Loudly eating potato chips.] "Huh?"

Dr. Stanhope: "When did you-"

[Agent Nightingale loudly crunches on a chip which interrupts Dr. Stanhope.]

Dr. Stanhope: "Can you please stop eating those!?"

Agent Nightingale: [Mouth full] "Huh?"

Dr. Stanhope: "Do you or do you not know anything about those rubber ducks!?"

Agent Nightingale: "No, but I think Kessler might. By the way these chips are a little spicy, can I have one of those Kinder Eggs you keep under your desk?"

Dr. Stanhope: "How did you even? No, you know what, get the hell out of my office!"

Agent Nightingale: [Eating potato chip] "Okay."

[[collapsible show="+ Interview Log 2" hide="- Close"]]

Interviewer: Dr. Gideon Stanhope.

Interviewee: Agent Kessler.

Begin Log.

Dr. Stanhope: "When exactly did you start noticing the ducks?"

Agent Kessler: "What ducks?"

Dr. Stanhope: "The self-replicating rubber ducks, when did you start noticing them?"

Agent Kessler: "Oh those, uh. Hmm? I don't know. Last week."

Dr. Stanhope: "Can you be more specific?"

Agent Kessler: "Uh, no. Sorry."

Dr. Stanhope: "Alright then, can you tell me where you first saw the ducks?"

Agent Kessler: "In the bath?"

Dr. Stanhope: "Pardon?"

Agent Kessler: "When I was a kid I didn't want to take a bath, so my mom bought me a rubber ducky so that I could."

Dr. Stanhope: "No, I meant when did you start seeing the ducks around the site?"

Agent Kessler: "In the bath."

Dr. Stanhope: "I, what?"

Agent Kessler: "I got bored and used Ellison's Jacuzzi."

Dr. Stanhope: "You what!? You do realize that you could get into serious trouble for that right!?"

Agent Kessler: "Uh, yeah, well Ellison caught me and called me a 'pus-drenched donut hole spat out by a barely literate deranged Trekkie' whatever that means."