drunor

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Keter

buck.jpg

Buckingham Palace, London.

Special Containment Procedures: Foundation agents are to intercept and track all SCP-XXXX instances. A disinformation campaign is currently disseminated among the local populace under Cover Story XX.044 "Prank Calls".

Under the guise of the Metropolitan Police, MTF Beta-10 ("Bloody Feds") is to surveil and inspect the Buckingham Palace premises on a routine basis.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a collective designation of several calls made from Buckingham Palace, London, to emergency services with no identifiable caller1 (hereby referred to as SCP-XXXX-1). SCP-XXXX occurs with no discernable pattern, but all calls are consistent in claiming that their relative or friend are suffering from choking. However, no individuals can be found in the surrounding area with signs of asphyxiation. All persons neither recall contacting emergency services nor recognize the caller.


Addendum XXXX-A: The first case of SCP-XXXX occurred on 06/03/2020 in Buckingham Palace. An instance of SCP-XXXX was made to local emergency services. The caller identified itself as "Sir Harold Ignotius Terrens"; no such name would be found.

[Begin log]

Operator: Ambulance Service, tell me what's happened.

SCP-XXXX-1: Uh, good morning, sir. I, uh, am calling to report an emergency.

Operator: Mhmm. What's the nature of your emergency?

SCP-XXXX-1: Uh, I, um. I think a poor fellow of mine is stuck on something. Uh, choking, yes.

Operator: What is your name, sir?

SCP-XXXX-1: Sir Harold. Sir Harold Ignotius Terrens.

Operator: I, um, okay. (muffled, off-mic conversations)

(A pause.)

SCP-XXXX-1: A- are you still there, sir?

Operator: Yes… mister… Harold. Where are you, currently?

SCP-XXXX-1: It's at, um-

(Muffled gurgles in the background.)

Operator: Sorry, I didn't quite get that.

SCP-XXXX-1: Ah, no, it- it's the poor fellow.

Operator: Ah. Right, so, uh, where are you right now?

SCP-XXXX-1: Uh, B- Buckingham Palace. Third floor. I, I don't know where exactly he is.

Operator: Could you go and check on them, please?

SCP-XXXX-1: I, uh, (chuckles nervously) don't think I can do that right now. A little… rooted to the floor.

Operator: Could you clarify on that?

SCP-XXXX-1: It's, it's… um. I just can't move, unfortunately.

Operator: Do you have any sort of physical hindrance preventing you from moving, or-

SCP-XXXX-1: Oh, uh. Yes. I just can't seem to- (momentary straining of voice) -move like the old days. It's been like this since… er, '48, I believe.

Operator: Hm. Is there anyone with you?

(A pause.)

SCP-XXXX-1: Uh, yes, actually; the, uh, the housekeeper.

Operator: Could you perhaps get a hold of him?

SCP-XXXX-1: I, uh. I… certainly can try. Give me a moment.

(Sounds of struggle, followed by shouts from SCP-XXXX-1. Sloshing of water is audible, which stops after six seconds.)

SCP-XXXX-1: Ah bollocks. I- I don't think I'm loud enough. Er, w- what else can I do?

(A pause. Off-mic conversations are heard.)

Operator: No worries, sir. We've sent help to your location. In the meantime, try to continue calling for help, or, is there some- some emergency help button near you?

SCP-XXXX-1: Um. N- not really. But, I'm going to have a go at it.

Operator: Alright, sir.

SCP-XXXX-1: Thank you, sweet fellow. Hope you, uh, have a swell day.

[End log]

Disguised as local law enforcement, Foundation agents were deployed. Seven minutes later, "Sir Harold Ignotius Terrens" contacted the same operator and spoke the following before ending the call:

SCP-XXXX-1: (sighs) This is… unfortunate. No matter; he fulfilled his duty to the very end. He was- (Pause. Footsteps can be heard, increasing in volume.) -oh bloody hell. Looks like we have company.

During an inspection of the premises, the agents discovered a mobile phone situated within a toilet seat. All residents disclaimed ownership of the phone. No useful data could be restored due to the irreparable amounts of water damage.

Additionally, a plumber was repeatedly attempting to unclog a toilet seat situated several rooms in front. The plumber was briefly questioned; no useful data could be extracted, and was considered unrelated to SCP-XXXX. The agents withdrew from the compound and maintained surveillance.

Update: Five minutes after the agents were withdrawn, several civilians who had visited the National Memorial Arboretum2, Staffordshire, reported hearing a distant bugle call of the "Last Post" and subsequently, sounds of flushing of water three consecutive times, possibly from five separate points of origin (which could not be discerned according to witness accounts) within the cemetery.

Afterward, five ovoid projectiles were launched from unknown locations in the cemetery, reaching up to 100m before landing3. Upon impact, these projectiles emitted a pungent odor. An unmarked gravestone manifested on the far end of the first row; ground-penetrating radar showed a silhouette of a toilet seat, buried two meters deep. This phenomenon did not remanifest since.


something dumb.

Thank you to [[*user JackalRelated]], [[*user cybersqyd]], [[*user DrAkimoto]] and possibly some others I've forgotten.

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