Dry Aged Spam

Censored

Item Number: XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment procedures: Every store that has an instance of SCP XXXX must be closed down. Researchers must either not have a child or have a child lower than the age group of 3 or higher than ██

Description: SCP XXXX is a milk carton, [Data Expunged] brand, SCP XXXX can only be activated when a father figure with a child between the ages of 3-██ grabs SCP XXXX. As SCP XXXX is activated the father figure will vanish and will be transported to an alternate dimension, the only exit from the dimension is to drink a glass of milk.

The alternate dimension is very similar to the original one although there are some noticeable changes, all stores sell beer the most predominate brand being bud light and junk food. All TV channels are of sports. If someone says something that would trigger a 'Dad Joke' every father in a ██ mile radius will reply with the punchline.

Uncensored

Item Number: XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment procedures: Every store that has an instance of SCP XXXX must be closed down. Researchers must either not have a child or have a child lower than the age group of 3 or higher than 15

Description: SCP XXXX is a milk carton, Walmart brand, SCP XXXX can only be activated when a father figure with a child between the ages of 3-15 grabs SCP XXXX. As SCP XXXX is activated the father figure will vanish and will be transported to an alternate dimension, the only exit from the dimension is to drink a glass of milk.

The alternate dimension is very similar to the original one although there are some noticeable changes, all stores sell beer the most predominate brand being bud light and junk food. All TV channels are of sports. If someone says something that would trigger a 'Dad Joke' every father in a 12 mile radius will reply with the punchline.