Elias M

Outline:

SCP-XXXX

Class: Euclid, formerly Safe

Containment: SCP-XXXX is to be contained within a standard containment locker at site XXX. SCP-XXXX is only accessible by level 3 personnel and above. Experiments regarding SCP-XXXX must be approved by Researcher ———. SCP-XXXX should not be used on the same test subject more than once, except when required for the specific experiment. Experiments of this nature are subject to O5 approval first.
Addendum-XXXX-A:
During testing, researchers and D-Class personnel must not make any positive or negative statements about SCP-XXXX while within earshot of the SCP (estimated to be up to 10m).

Description: SCP-XXXX is a flat box, approximately .5m long, .5m high, and .1m thick. One side, designated the front side, is a completely black and glassy smooth screen. The other side is adorned with multiple beads of metal wielded onto the back. Testing of this metal has shown that it is comprised of common metals, and a few metals of unknown origin. Two iron rods are affixed to the edges of SCP-XXXX. The intended use of said rods is assumed to be handles, and possibly activation.

When a humanoid holds the two handles on the edges of SCP-XXXX, its front side lights up, taking on a light, neon green hue. After approximately 10 seconds of activation, the front of SCP-XXXX will display the words "SCAN READY". After this, pointing the back of SCP-XXXX towards any viable subject will cause SCP-XXXX to display the words "SCAN IN PROGRESS". After one minute, SCP-XXXX will display the words "SCAN COMPLETED", and will shortly after render a breakdown of the subject's intelligence on the screen. This breakdown contains the subjects total IQ, along with a more detailed breakdown witch includes: Spatial Intelligence, Naturalistic Intelligence, Musical Intelligence, Logical-Mathematical Intelligence, Existential Intelligence, Interpersonal Intelligence, Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence, Linguistic Intelligence, and Interpersonal Intelligence. Additionally, SCP-XXXX displays reading for the subject's Streetwise Intelligence, Memory, and Psychic Resistance. How SCP-XXXX is able to measure all of these factors of intelligence is unknown. Furthermore, although SCP-XXXX rates a subject's total IQ through traditional means, it rates the subcategories of intelligence on an unknown scale. So far, we only have a loose understanding of how to read this scale.

SCP-XXXX came into the Foundation custody on ——— after being alerted to the anomalous object’s existence by ——— a Foundation sleeper agent stationed in the Los Angeles Police Department. The LAPD discovered SCP-XXXX during a raid on a warehouse owned by POI-XXX, along with 72 other SCPs. The raid was due to POI-XXX’s occupational drug dealing. Class-A amnestics were administered to members of the LAPD that had knowledge of the event, or the SCPs recovered. On ———, POI-XXX was apprehended by foundation personnel. The following is a transcript of the interviews with POI-XXX that followed.
INTERVIEW XXX:
Interviewer: Researcher ———
Interviewee: POI-XXX

Researcher ———: Hello, Mr.———, we only have a few questions you. If you cooperate, you’re free to go.
POI-XXX remains silent, but motions at Researcher ——— to continue.
Researcher ———: Alright… do you recall the event on ———?
POI-XXX: I don’t remember dates very well. Refresh my memory.
Researcher ———: The warehouse you owned on —— Street was raided. Does that jog your memory?
POI-XXX: Yeah. Those damn cops. They cost me a fortune.
Researcher ———: Yes. Now, There were a great deal of anomalous objects in the warehouse. What we want to know is how you obtained these objects.
POI-XXX: Oh, is that all? Well, I don’t have any problems with spilling the beans about that; won’t do you any good, anyways.
POI-XXX leans back in his chair, placing his hands behind his head.
POI-XXX: ‘Bout 2 years ago, I got a catalogue in the mail. It had a dumb name, “Weekly Miracles”, I think. Well, usually, all those things go in the trash, but I liked the cover, so I opened it. When I did that, suddenly a ’n plant grew right out of the catalogue! Then, when I finally got over my shock and turned the page, the plant vanished, and on the next page, tiny fireworks started shooting out! Well, I worked through the book, and at the end, I found the order card which said that if I liked what I saw, I could fill out the card, and they would deliver more “weekly miracles” every seven days, for $39.99 a delivery.
Researcher ———: And, who were “they”?
POI-XXX: I don’t know. It never said. Anyways, I figured that after what I had just seen, I ought to give it a try, so I filled out the card, and put it in the mailbox. And you know what? When I got back, the catalogue was gone. No trace of it. But from that day on, every week on Saturday, I got a new package with a miracle in it. Sometimes I got a machine that did something impossible, other times I got a book with instructions on how to do impossible things; they actually worked, but I’ve never been much for reading. Once, I got a pill that got rid of my tobacco addiction. And the stuff just kept on coming.
Researcher ———: I see. Well that’ll be all for now, Mr. ———. Allow Mr. Sty to escort you to your room. We will talk later.
End Of Interview

INTERVIEW XXXX:
Interviewer: Researcher ———
Interviewee: POI-XXX

Researcher ———: Among the SCPs we recovered from the raid, there was this one black box which we’re curious about. It looks kind of like a small flat screen TV with handles.
POI-XXX: (Tries to recall the SCP described by Researcher ——— for approximately five seconds) Oh yeah, the IQ reader! I never got much use out of that, but it’s a pretty good novelty piece. I once used it to try to pick out employees, you know, to figure out who would be the best at delivering the drugs unnoticed. But, I could never figure out what the numbers meant. It came with a manual, but I lost it.
Researcher ———: I see. Is there anything else you could tell us about it?
POI: Not much. You hold the handles and point it at someone — the back of it, not the side with the screen — and then you wait. As I said, I didn’t get much use out of it. By the way, when are you guys going to let me go? I’ve been here for hours telling you all about these “SCPs”.
Researcher ———: We only have 17 more to go over. After that you’re free to go.
POI-XXX: 17 more, eh. Well, I guess I can last that long.
End Of Interview

After disclosing information on every SCP that had been recovered, and O-5 approval, POI-XXX was released to police custody on ———, after an application of both Class-A and Class-B amnestics. POI-XXX is to remain under Foundation observation indefinitely. No further “Weekly Miracles” have been observed being delivered to POI-XXX, or his dwelling since his apprehension.
(TEST LOGS AND RESEARCHER NOTES.)
Test Log-XXXX-1:
Procedure: The subject is D-Class 2319, prior conviction of manslaughter, instructed to stand in front of SCP-XXXX while Researcher ——— activates SCP-XXXX. Subject 2319 tested with an IQ of 123 prior to testing. Psychological profile suggests emotional instability. Physical profile shows 2319 to be highly skilled athletically.
Result: SCP-XXXX gives an IQ reading of 127, a Spatial Intelligence reading of 6, a Naturalistic Intelligence of 4, a Musical Intelligence of 3, a Logical-Mathematical Intelligence of 4, an Existential Intelligence of 2, an Interpersonal Intelligence of 2, a Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence of 6, a Linguistic Intelligence of 5, a Streetwise Intelligence of 6, a Memory of 4, and a Psychic Resistance of 2. Following the experiment, 2319’s IQ was retested and resulted in a result of 121.
Researcher Notes:
So that’s what [POI-XXX] meant by “numbers”. This might take some work to decipher. More importantly, was the discrepancy between the test score and the reading a fault on part of SCP-XXXX, or was it because the test is slightly inaccurate? Also, did the subject’s IQ actually go down after the scan, or is this also due to the test we use to measure IQ?