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Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-1 are to be kept in a standard containment locker, kept locked via a number pad. All testing with SCP-XXXX is to be approved by the project leader before application.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a hard mixture of potassium hydroxide and an unknown oil, formed into the shape of a rectangular prism; this resembles a sage-colored bar of soap. 5 unknown symbols are carved into SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXXX is impervious to all damage, and any flames or liquids that make physical contact with SCP-XXXX spontaneously disappear. SCP-XXXX is luminescent, constantly exuding a bright green light of 400 lumens. SCP-XXXX also has a constantly changing scent, with recorded scents including but not limited to wet cardboard, liquid copper, lasagna, sulfuric acid, seal blubber, volcanic ash, and SCP-3400.

When a sapient organism makes physical contact with SCP-XXXX, a mental cognitohazard will activate. This will cause the affected organism to believe that SCP-XXXX is a supreme or divine object, that those who hold it possess superiority over those who don't, and will attempt to convince others of their beliefs. This affect persists for 24 hours after the organism has lost contact with SCP-XXXX, and the cognitohazard can be afflicted more than once to the same organism.

SCP-XXXX-1 is an electronic tablet, composed of a touchscreen and two metal grips. The touchscreen features a series of instructions that can be carried out on SCP-XXXX. These instructions can be displayed in a variety of known and unknown languages, including English. After completing the instructions described in SCP-XXXX-1, SCP-XXXX will lose all anomalous traits for a period of 10 minutes. During this period, SCP-XXXX functions as a bar of soap, and has no secondary abilities beyond that of a standard bar of soap. Of note is that SCP-XXXX during this state has no discernible scent, and will not give any organism or object that SCP-XXXX is used on any discernable scent. When this period ends, SCP-XXXX will regain all anomalous traits, including any portions that have been separated from SCP-XXXX.

If the ritual described in SCP-XXXX-1 is performed incorrectly at any point, those performing the ritual will become instances of SCP-XXXX-2. SCP-XXXX-21 is a mammalian creature, two meters in length, with wrinkled, green, hairless skin, six long legs, and two tusks. SCP-XXXX-2 instances lack eyes, instead relying on echolocation, and do not possess any intelligence previously carried by the organism before its transformation. The transformation into SCP-XXXX-2 is extremely painful to the organism affected, and instances of SCP-XXXX-2 appear to live in a state of constant pain.

Addendum XXXX-A: Contents of SCP-XXXX-1

RITUAL FOR THE SACRED SOAP


Warning: Only for individuals within the Higher Reigadron Species. If lost and recovered by lower individuals, please send to nearest Higher Reigadron Office via Hypermail-Tube. Do not attempt to carry out the Ritual for the Sacred Soap if outside the Higher Reigadron. Punishment for lower individuals carrying out the Ritual for the Sacred Soap will be handed out accordingly.

1.) Hold the Sacred Soap with the front-most left appendage, hold a spear molded entirely in gold with the front-most right appendage. The Sacred Soap must be held up 1 meter above the ground, with the appendage positioned below the Sacred Soap. The golden spear must be held perpendicular to the ground, with the bottom of the spear touching the floor, as the warriors of the K'yak Offense Force once did.

2.) Vocalize the starting phrase: "Redis Aquej'diawec". The Sacred Soap should turn a holy violet, comparable to the fur of an Eight-limbed Secidrel.

3.) Lay down the golden spear flat on a table no less than 2 meters up from the floor.

4.) Gently place the Sacred Soap into the front-most right appendage using the front-most left appendage. Quickly position front-most left appendage straight down against body.

5.) Submerge the Sacred Soap in a small bowl containing the milk of either a Spotted Pintezin or an Earth Bovine. If Earth Bovines are used, please leave a note of notice in standard Bovine Circular Script using the provided crops. The Sacred Soap must be submerged for a period of 10 seconds before being taken out. At this point, the Sacred Soap should be a heavenly blue, like the vast oceans of Valthabar.

6.) Start a small fire and fuel the flames with seeds of 3 different kinds of fruits, 20 different igneous rocks, the still-beating heart of a Wahoosian, and a piece of wood inscribed with the symbols carved on the Sacred Soap.

7.) Slowly step into the fire and stand in it for a period of 45 seconds, raising the Sacred Soap into the air. If done correctly, the fire shouldn't be able to cause any harm. After 45 seconds has passed, run out of the fire with the Sacred Soap in hand.

8.) Continue running for 1 kilometer in a straight line. Once the kilometer threshold has been passed, stop and repeat the Chant of the Ancient Reigadrons2 from memory while holding the Sacred Soap in the direction of the nearest star.

9.) Run back, in a straight line, to the location of the fire, which should've gone out by the time you go back, and grab the golden spear. Stab the golden spear into the back of the Sacred Soap. The golden spear should disintegrate and the Sacred Soap should glow a bright yellow for a period of 5 seconds. After this period is done, it is time to use the Sacred Soap.

Addendum XXXX-B: The Chant of the Ancient Reigadrons
The Chant of the Ancient Reigadrons can be accessed with SCP-XXXX-1 by clicking the phrase "Chant of the Ancient Reigadrons" in Step 8 of the ritual page. This will generate the entire text for the Chant of the Ancient Reigadrons. It reads as follows:

Fathers, mothers, parents of us all
We are the spawn who will not fall
From ancient blood we can stand tall
Our dominion has no walls
And with Wahoosian slavery
There stands the almighty king
With Sacred Soap, our empire sings
Thank you, Ancient Reigadrons, for this wonderful thing