An Excited Occhiolist's Base of Operations

SCP-####: Jack Punch Presents: A One-of-a-Kind, Once-in-a-Lifetime Special Offer!

pub?w=1536&h=1152
A still frame from SCP-####'s title screen.

Item #: SCP-####

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Foundation front companies present in film and media industries are to prevent SCP-#### from appearing on public television by any means necessary. If SCP-#### appears on any public network, its television signals are to be blocked within five minutes and either the distribution rights to SCP-#### or the network outright are to be purchased and discontinued as soon as feasibly possible.

Private channels contained within Site-19 are allowed to show SCP-#### on a bi-weekly basis. Any personnel at or above Level 2 clearance are allowed to watch SCP-#### while under direct supervision. However, contact with SCP-#### requires both written and verbal approval from the site director and current research manager. All calls made to SCP-#### are to be tracked and, if necessary, remotely disconnected. Any items sold by SCP-#### that would not reasonably be classified as 'safe' while under Foundation containment are not to be purchased. Items which are purchased are to be held in low-priority storage locker 13-B within Site-19.

A complete list of Special Containment Procedures regarding items purchased from SCP-#### is attatched below. For complete information on these items, see their respective reports.

+  SCP-####-X Special Containment Procedures

Description: SCP-#### is a fifteen-minute bi-weekly television program entitled Jack Punch Presents: A One-of-a-Kind, Once-in-a-Lifetime Special Offer!, which has appeared on a variety of mostly local television networks throughout the Midwestern United States. It is aired live from an unknown location1 and is hosted by an overweight Caucasian male referring to himself as "Jack Punch". Punch, designated SCP-####-1, displays and demonstrates several seemingly random objects throughout the show, offering to sell them to its first caller at a heavily discounted price. These offers last for exactly five minutes each before the item is either sold or discarded, and the next item is shown.

While the first item sold on episodes of SCP-#### is always a standard household appliance or amenity, the proceeding two items are always anomalous in nature. SCP-####-1 acts fully aware of these anomalous properties, and explains them in great detail over the course of each five-minute segment. These items have yet to repeat between episodes or be mentioned again by SCP-####-1.

Calling the number listed by SCP-#### while the program is airing simply leads to a dial tone lasting around ten seconds before the call ends. However, SCP-####-1 will immediately recognize that the current item being displayed has been sold, and promises to ship it to the caller's personal address as soon as possible (referring to them by their full name.) The item appears on the caller's doorstep between one and three weeks later, and the caller loses the exact amount of money listed as the price in a seemingly unrelated incident.

It should be noted that SCP-#### has repeatedly mentioned receiving "generous funding" from various groups of interest. Research investigating SCP-####'s connection to these groups of interest is ongoing.

Attached is a list of recorded or presumed episodes of SCP-####.

+  SCP-#### Episode Listing
Footnotes