Per 
Welcome to your guide through-out the Foundation. Are the skips scary? Do you fear the unknown? Don't want to get chomped by some weird looking doll? This is your guide to make sure your time at the foundation is safe and fun!
Tip # 1
Don't overthink things. The best way to insure your SCP stops doing a thing are the D-class. Equip one with a taser and a good o' shove.
Tip # 2
Using SCP 5150-J to drink SCP 354 has the duel bonus to scare the living daylights out of your new recruits and make your superiorities ask how you managed to get there again with the added security.
Tip # 3
SCP 173 can make a wonderful coat hanger if you have the D-class to spare.
Tip # 4
Use SCP 008 to cause a small uprising. No one will notice that you showed up late to work again.
Tip # 5
Putting a Halloween Rabbit's head on and talking polite is the quickest way to throw an entire site into shutdown.
Addendum of 04- Williams: SCP-4000 is not a Joke, Dr. Bright. And if you or anyone else pulls this crap again so help me god you'll be on janitorial staff for a YEAR!
Tip # 6
Give leaves of lettuce to people while wearing the head to sell it
04-Williams can't take a joke.
Tip # 7
Bring your kid to work day is made a lot different when you're tasked on keeping SCP 2845.
Tip # 8
Need to talk to 05? Look into SCP 001 as deeply as you can and they're be more than happy to arrange an interview with you regarding the lackluster selection of coffee available to site staff.
Tip # 9
Getting infected with SCP 610 is the easiest way to quit regardless of your position.
Tip # 10
Changing all the site's computer screen savers to you re-enacting "2 girls 1 cup." is the funniest way to make sure nobody looks through your phone again.
Tip # 11
You're going to get a lot of questions while working at the foundation like: "Who are you?", "What are you doing to the air vents?" and "How did you get past security?". The best thing to do in these situations is take a deep breathe and calmly continue before coming down and answer their questions. And most importantly, when 04 come running in and asking how you got SCP 420-J, Tell them the truth.
Tip # 12
Get into shape with SCP 096.
Tip # 13
The containment room of SCP 55 is the best place to talk about your feelings.
Tip # 14
When making a toast, It's best to stand on the table after the operation is completed.
Tip # 15
Use ████ to hide information you don't want leaking to your staff like how you managed to find which SCPs have working reproductive organs.
Tip # 16
Anomalous babies sound cool on paper, but end up being a lot more work than originally intended.
Tip # 17
Reading your kids SCP documents is a good way to bond with your kids and is the smoothest way to tell them what will happen to them when Daddy dies.
Tip # 18
Speedos are never acceptable workplace attire, despite them making your butt look dummy thicc.
Tip # 19
Using telepathic SCPs to project Rick Ashely's Never Going to Give You Up. into the heads of your co-workers for 10 hours is a fantastic counter-prank.
Note: Guys, I'm still finding chunks of dead D-class in my tuba. Not cool. A man's wind brass instruments are his pride.
Tip # 20
Secrecy for the foundation is critical. We can't protect people if they know what we know. Many SCPs are information triggered, take ●●|●●●●●|●●|● for example. Now, that being said, having a stamp for ●●|●●●●●|●●|● to plop on the forehead of someone you don't like is poor form for an agent, however, who the hell liked Jared anyways? Miss me with that vegan shit.
Tip # 21
During your suspension, make sure you move regularly. Bed sores are terribly painful.
Tip # 22
Hot potato with SCP 963 and D-class is a great way to improve workplace moral.
Tip # 24
SCP 53 takes tea time very seriously. As do I. We're besties now and I'm not coming out until 04 - Williams apologizes for calling me "Unprofessional"
Tip # 25
Giving SCP 049 several clones of yourself to "Make me look like the Indian god Shiva." is cool in concept, but only serves makes all the kindergarteners scream when they see you.
Tip # 26
Don't use the phrase "There's been a containment breach." after using the washroom. Site 19 is still mad at me.
Tip # 27
Giving SCP 076 a Rubik's Cube doesn't end well and SOMEONE STILL OWES ME $3.48!
Tip # 28
Making a puppet show for SCP 053 is fun until 04 asks you how you managed to get SCP 035.
Tip # 29
"Taking SCP 682 for a walk." Is a very poor answer to give 04 when they ask you where you've been for the past hour.
Tip # 30
Ever not want to come to work? Use SCP 2000 to make clones of yourself to go to work for you! This works up until 05 starts wondering why you visit SCP 2000 so much. During these times joking is not acceptable and do NOT under ANY circumstances answer the question "What are you doing with these clones?" with "Making an Army."Addendum 05 - 4: Following this incident and the 349 clones of Dr. Bright found and terminated, Dr. Bright is not permitted within 100km of SCP 2000.
Note: "How did they manage to find the clones in Mexico?"
Addendum 04 - Williams: Having them grow mustaches and wear sombreros is not a good enough disguise.
Tip # 31
Narrating cross testing between SCPs like Pokémon battles has been proven to make 04 reconsider your employment.
Tip # 32
Putting employment ads for the Foundation on craigslist is a fantastic idea if you are running short on D-class for the month.
Tip # 33
If you put a milkshake in the front yard and a D-class in the back, which ones are the SCPs going to go to?
Tip # 34
The milkshake
Turns out SCP 053 is the exception.
Tip # 35
Using SCP 294 and ordering "A Cup Of Ass." is just doomed to fail.
Tip # 36
Ordering SCP 2599 to beat you in a Rock, Paper, Scissors game is a great confidence boost.
Tip # 37
Getting High and wearing SCP 438 is not recommended.
Tip # 38
Taunting SCP 3883 is fucking hilarious. Just shove'r right where the sun don't shine and fall asleep. Destroys the thing's moral and it's fucking hilarious.
Tip # 39
Using 668 on a bunch of D-class is the best way to relieve pepped up anger.
Tip # 40
Bringing a straw into SCP 3300 and poking people with it will get you a lot of strange looks and will immediately get you transferred out of the site. I wouldn't recommend it.
Tip # 41
I wonder if it's possible to make an event so large SCP-3456 will be present.
Tip # 42
Yes, yes it is.
Tip # 43
When your anomalous children start asking hard questions like "Where do babies come from", tell them you'll answer it after you go to Ikea.
Tip # 44
SCP-500 is not for hangovers.
SCP-500 is not for hangovers.
SCP-500 is not for hangovers.
SCP-500 is not for hangovers.
SCP-500 is not for hangovers.
SCP-500 is not for hangovers.
SCP-500 is not for hangovers.
SCP-500 is not for hangovers.
SCP-500 is not for hangovers.
Tip # 45
Don't tell your supervisor you'll make him toast and pull out 426. Best way to nearly catch a bullet.
Tip # 46
Drinking is fine. Getting drunk is fine. Getting drunk at work is not fine. Getting drunk while on 1562 is really not fine. Getting your friend drunk and playing on 1562 together is really bad. Messaging your Tinder match while drunk with your friend on 1562 is really awful. Miss you Greg.
Tip # 47
Play the bee movie for the new recruits. Anyone still present at the end are either internet memers, really want the job, or high as hell. Filter the high memers out and it's a rather robust way of filtering large groups of applicants.
Tip # 48
Bringing your children to 999 serves a duel purpose of making the kids happy while simultaneously postponing daddy's depression.
Tip # 49
You may not be the best nor brightest, but strong work ethic will always keep you employed.What you thought these were all jokes? Come on, show some professionalism.
Tip # 50
Margarita mixers while assigned to 231 can really lighten the mood. Just don't have too much; Don't need a repeat of the Christmas party.
Tip # 51
Playing Hide-and-go-Seek with SCP-137 and leaving the room is just plain cruel.
Tip # 52
My new fanfiction sets 079 to use 914……. 2203…. 682
Note 04-Williams: "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Tip #53
Don't use firecrackers to celebrate a birthday when tasked on keeping SCP-469.
Tip #54
Be careful when planning April Fools pranks. Knowing events occurring within your site is critical to knowing where and when to strike. So, for example: Let's say you set up an amazing prank in the new wing, it's best to know ahead of time that your site invited one of the 05 to observe the new keter.Side note: While it was funny to see the 05 covered head to toe in mustard, it was NOT funny to have to clean 173's chamber. Those bloods stains do not come out of whites.
Tip #54
When cleaning SCP-173's containment chamber, posture is critical. My back was thrown out for a week because I was careless.
Tip #55
