Per 
HYPERREAL INTER-LINEAR DATABASE AUDITOR (HILDA)
Displaying result for SCP-4999 on 24/03/2016 at 0300 hrs
All access to HILDA is jointly tracked by the Overseer Council and the Pataphysics Department.
Unauthorised access is grounds for immediate termination.
Ev'rwyn Spire: Junior College Office
Disciplinary Report
Date: Monday, 7 January 2016
Name of Pupil: Silas Teo
Class: 4J (2015) | Undergoing Year 5 orientation (2016)
Infraction(s): Spoofing the format of the Transcontinental Diploma’s World History Paper 1; unauthorised access to the Level 4 Staff Room; replacing a stack of test papers belonging to Mr Philip, who unknowingly administered the parodies to his TD class as a timed practice.
Follow-Up Actions: Punishment unilaterally waived by Ms Priscilla Raj, who used her capacity as paracounsellor to vouch for Silas on the grounds of prolonged emotional trauma.
Any Other Information (AOI): Mr Philip is a professing Wayfarer whose secondary appointment is Year 4 teacher-liaison for the Spirebourne Sentinels.
TRANSCONTINENTAL DIPLOMA EXAMINATIONS
REDEMPTIVE HISTORY: PAPER 1
Document-based Questions [Time: 1 hr 30 mins]
Read the following sources and their provenances, and answer the questions that follow.
SOURCE A: An excerpt from "Vanguards in a Volatile Millennium", an expository essay penned by Imperial Tutor Nicodemus Lim of Ev'rwyn Spire for Homeward Bound, a commemorative publication commissioned by the Spirebourne Sentinels for their 90th anniversary in 2007.
THE FLEDGLING'S CRUCIBLE: Creating Unpredictability
The epitome of such trailblazing work comes to us from the Cheong Brothers, the redoubtable proprietors behind the YouthXpress Adventure Camp. Ensconced in the lush environs of Gilead, YouthXpress is gloriously adorned with cutting-edge amenities like high ropes courses, multi-purpose auditoria, indoor sports facilities, simulated wilderness, and much more. The bucolic setting is perfectly poised to give coddled urbanites an unforgettable brush with the outdoors, and indeed, a conception of humility, resilience, and grit that their desultory, weekend-warrior hobbies could never provide. These, and other relevant character values, are clearly outlined in the YouthXpress Mission Statement.
Chief among YouthXpress' varied clientele is the Spirebourne Sentinels, who have dutifully served as their sponsoring vanguard since the camp's inception in 1986, with all the charity and gumption expected of a socially-involved Wayfaring organisation. This premier uniformed group has also been seminal in the development of its signature Vulture programme, in which the client organisation eschews a rigid camp timetable. Instead, the proprietors collaborate with them to spontaneously alter camp programmes on a discretionary basis, according to the youth trainees' perceived contextual needs. This is effected by a team of instructors with extensive experience in operational efficiency, training pedagogies, and crisis management.
By creating duress in a failsafe environment, youth are pushed out of their comfort zones and prepared to deal with a volatile, globalised, informationally complex world. This welcome emphasis on "future-proofing" comes amid rampant existential clamour among civil servants, in light of dire new research about the juvenilisation of the Bastion’s limited human resources.
SOURCE B: "Running Together," a creative nonfiction entry dating December 22, 2014 from the personal diary of █████ ███, a devout Wayfarer and alumnus of the Spirebourne Sentinels. Lightly abridged and republished with permission.
Item #: SCP-4999
Object Class: Euclid
Subsequent Chances of Patronage: Dubious unless I'm about to catch a flight or seeing off a friend. I mean… it's fine, but even if I'm peckish, there's more affordable stuff across the street, and just about everything in SCP-4999 is exorbitant, food or otherwise. Having said that, PAUL YOU'RE AN ABSOLUTE MADLAD HOW EARLY DID YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP TO SURPRISE ME 10/10 would hang out while sleep-deprived again ilysm
Description: SCP-4999 is an overblown, neofuturistic edifice and integrated retail complex adjoining three of the passenger terminals at the local Transcontinental Airport. A veritable paean to modern commercialism and that excruciating human tendency to capitalise on first impressions, SCP-4999 was today explored by myself and PoI-4999, who brusquely intercepted me at the arrival lounge, despite my jetlag-related remonstrations, and whisked me off to check it out. Sometimes, the only assessment of his character I can muster is that impetuousness and chivalry make strange bedfellows. He also paid for my baggage storage fees, but shhhh - he wouldn't want me to tell you.
"Hang exploration logs!" as the Mole from Kenneth Grahame's The Wind in the Willows might have said, for it can be succinctly stated that SCP-4999’s interior is insufferable, populated with a motley crew of secondary monoliths to modern futility. These include:
- Some ostensibly poor gelato with a distasteful, granular texture (Paul, you do realise I just got back from Italy, right?);
- Insipid burgers and milkshakes, sustained only by the memetic payload of their brand name;
- A Pokémon Center (sorry Paul);
- Diabetes, generalised (get me a gym membership please);
- Archontophoenix alexandrae, or king palm (for PoI-4999, upon seeing an ornamental plant, has a penchant for refusing to move on until he has ascertained its identity through Wikipedia rabbit-hole or otherwise);
- Every feature of interest being prefixed with the name of its sponsoring corporation, like some kind of cluster-bombing (what on earth is the Shiseido Forest Valley!? Why???)
The nucleus of SCP-4999.
It is of note that SCP-4999 contains, at its skylit nucleus, a 40-metre-tall indoor waterfall fed by a rooftop oculus and surrounded by an artificial valley housing a terraced forest. These naturalistic vistas, while observed to be incongruous with the staid, snake-oil-salesman-riddled outer concentric circles of SCP-4999 (with the exception of some garish Christmas displays), are not believed to be inherently anomalous. UPDATE: See Incident Report 4999-1.
INCIDENT REPORT 4999-1: On 22/12/2014 at approximately 09:43, SCP-4999’s nucleus exerted a rudimentary compulsion effect on PoI-4999, which resulted in him sitting on one of the parapets adorning its forest terrace, and gazing meditatively up at that miraculous fount. During this time, he developed a wistful, far-off look, whereupon we were approached by a swarthy-looking tourist (hereafter designated SCP-4999-1). A reconstructed transcript of the ensuing exchange may be found below.
SCP-4999-1: Greetings! Hey, uh, can you take a picture of me with the fountain?
(Angsty Teen Silas’ eyes perk up. He promptly ceases worrying over PoI-4999’s unusual mien. SCP-4999-1 extends his smartphone to Angsty Teen Silas.)
Angsty Teen Silas: Sure!
(Angsty Teen Silas cheerfully renders the requested service.)
SCP-4999-1: Thank you! This my first time on Bastion. Do you know where around here good for shopping?
Angsty Teen Silas: Oh, uh, (hesitantly) this place is actually one big shopping mall. You’re actually in the core right now, you just need to take one of these exits-
SCP-4999-1: (nodding) Ah, is it cheap?
Angsty Teen Silas: Uh…
[Two minutes of extraneous dialogue between Angsty Teen Silas and SCP-4999-1 removed]
Angsty Teen Silas: Wait, one last thing, where are you from?
SCP-4999-1: Oh, I from Tanzania! Tanzania. Very beautiful place. You know Serengeti?
Angsty Teen Silas: Oh yeah, Serengeti!
SCP-4999-1: Kilimanjaro?
Angsty Teen Silas: Kilimanjaro!
PoI-4999 (in unison): Kilimanjaro…SCP-4999-1: And you know Zanzibar? Together very beautiful country. Lion lives with man. But now I take a break, see the world. This evening, I go Kuala Lumpur. Night flight.
Angsty Teen Silas: That’s awesome! Stay safe!
SCP-4999-1: Thank you. Very nice chatting with you all.
(Parting handshakes are exchanged. SCP-4999-1 takes his leave.)
Angsty Teen Silas: Ah, shucks, I stumbled over his name! How embarrass- wha, Paul? Dude, what’s up?
And it came to pass that at this juncture, PoI-4999’s eyes began streaming uncontrollably, and he began asserting that SCP-4999’s nucleus constituted “a theological exhibit par excellence”. And he cited, in support of this claim, the manifold brilliances set before him: the juxtaposition of angular stonework against verdant, trellised balconies; how the sunlight percolated through transparent polygons to illuminate his proverbial soapbox, and yet “one day we won’t need the sun”; how the multitudes frolicked with their selfie sticks and V signs and all the little children; and how that unassuming monorail, though it bisected the atrium cleanly, seemed somehow not to spoil this panorama, but to enhance it.
And PoI-4999 spoke of Tanzanian savannahs and National Discovery, and artificial wellsprings much like the one arrayed before us. And so did he prophesy that these things were but shadows and types, for soon the Lion shall sit with Man, and chocolate run with rain, and they shall not grow weary. For soon earthly dichotomies and categories will be rolled up like scrolls before the harmony of unequals, and the “Inner Ring” abolished in unfettered, indiscriminate glory. And he reckoned that our gentle pilgrim, if ever he saw that light, might discover that he was far too easily satisfied.
And in that moment I reminisced about how homesick I was in Italy, and how I wanted to suppress that longing so badly, and I thought, well I’m a bloody fool, because now at least we get to be homesick together.
And so it was, that Silas and PoI-4999 spoke that day, and laughed and cried.
Then they went to Silas’ house.
SOURCE C: A conversation on popular messaging service WhatsApp between Chief Instructor Jarvis and Instructor Russell of the Spirebourne Sentinels, dated May 30, 2015, the eve of their fourth-year Sentinel cohort’s Camp Victorious. Disclosed to █████ ███ on January 4, 2016 by an informant who requested anonymity.
Russ, confirmed Op Siloam Tower for CV. Approval-of-plan cleared with the Cheongs, thanks to Philip's prompt action. Camp staff will sunder Bunk 4 belongings betw 2045-2100 tmr and forge a malicious claim of responsibility from Bunk 6. Instructors NDA in effect until 2300 hrs barring imminent risk of injury. Take note
Ok can. Must we resort to a lie though?
Sounds very Lord of the Flies
That’s the intention yes.
Re lying - see Pharaoh and the Hebrew midwives, we’ve had words about this before
What was the rationale? The spiritual blueprint team had to clear this as well right?
Yes they cleared it. The lynchpin text is this
"The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I have no need of you,' nor again the head to the feet, 'I have no need of you.' "
Mmhmm
Theory is the deception either deepens existing factionalisms
Or it vindicates the boys’ claim that their cohort is united enough (you remember last week right)
We screw up Bunk 4, see how they react, who they accuse, which authorities they consult. And if the other bunks get involved
Either way it teaches them the same lesson
It depends on them whether it arises the hard way
Ehh but what if they have sentimental stuff in there?
Negative. Packing list clearly stated not to bring exp or irreplaceable items.
Reminded all the parents too
Anw, standby at 2300 for debrief ok?
Kk
Yeah sounds good, I think we’ve been harping on this enough already. They’re a family and need to stop working in silos. It’s part of Wayfaring virtue
Lol silos
Was that intentional
Was what?
…Oh
Bro y u do dis
SOURCE D: An anonymous, handwritten note discovered beside the belongings of ████ ███ in YouthXpress Adventure Camp, Bunk 6, at approximately 20:55 on May 31, 2015.
Yo! We’re having supper at the foyer now. Bunks 1-4 sup till 9.15. Why do you guys get to shower first?? Anyhow, let’s meet at the canteen before lights out for our usual tête-à-tête :)
I can’t believe Instructor Michaels actually let me lead community singing! I think you could tell I was really nervous but it’s all peachy I guess.
That said I’m honestly a bit flustered now. They wouldn’t let me take Lyra out of the drizzle!! Wood is hygroscopic, do you think she’ll be OK? I think I'm gonna cry :(
Anyway gtg, see you later
S
1a. What, according to Source A, is the relationship between YouthXpress Adventure Camp and Ev’rwyn Spire?
[3 marks]
1b. What are the literal and didactic messages conveyed by Source C?
[2 marks]
2. Compare and contrast the views expressed in Sources A and B about the social implications of historic Wayfaring doctrine.
[4 marks]
3. With reference to their origin, purpose and content, assess the value and limitations of Source B for historians friends studying my sorrow-wracked pilgrimage.
[6 marks]
4. Using sources A, B, C and D and your own knowledge, sir, to what extent should I hold you personally accountable for the loss of my best friend?
[9 marks]
~ End of Paper ~
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