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The Makarios High School administration building and boarding tower, photographed in 2011.
Item #: SCP-5000
Object Class: Neutralized (retroactively Keter)
Special Containment Procedures: At 9:35 a.m. on Friday, March 25, 2016, MTF Theta-4 "Gardeners" secured the compound of the Makarios High School and successfully corralled, amnestised, and evacuated all individuals found within. On-campus closed-circuit television footage was seized and cross-referenced with aerial and ground reconnaissance data provided by MTF Theta-4. This data was used over the next 16 hours to hastily assemble the records comprising this document, before permanently demanifesting due to the effects of SCP-3309.
As recorded under the HILDA Protocol, SCP-5000 was fully neutralised by SCP-3309 at exactly 1:53 a.m. on Saturday, March 26, 2016, with the deletion of Document Faux-5000 from the Database. All anomalous entities pertaining to SCP-5000, and the effects thereof, instantly demanifested from baseline reality, as evidenced by the resumption of routine extracurricular activity within campus grounds on Saturday morning. No further containment measures are necessary.
Description (1/2): SCP-5000 is the summative designation for all causally related anomalous phenomena involving the Makarios High School in Dover, Singapore from March 21 to 25, 2016. The SCP-5000 hypernym subsumes two disparate components:
- All tangible, anomalous events and entities on or surrounding the Makarios High campus during the aforementioned timeframe (hereafter SCP-5000-A);
- The intangible, pataphysical complications experienced by the Foundation during its attempted documentation of SCP-5000-A (hereafter SCP-5000-B).
Eagle statue present in Makarios High School's ecological garden.
SCP-5000-A presented as a continuous, multiphasic aberration in the social milieu of, and botanical diversity in, the Makarios High campus grounds. Each phase was roughly coterminous with each of the calendar days in SCP-5000's timeframe, and signified a major change in the ongoing development of SCP-5000-A. Transitions between phases were invariably telegraphed by a Seneh1 Event, in which the concrete statue of an eagle in the school's Ecological Garden acquired a flamelike luminescence and brightly scintillated for approximately five minutes before abating. Notably, each Seneh Event, with the exception of that accompanying the fifth and final phase, occurred within five minutes of midnight. More comprehensive details are provided in Addenda 5000.1 and 5000.3.
Addendum 5000.1: Progression of SCP-5000-A Events, Monday through Thursday
Phase 1 of 5 — Monday
Seneh Event Occurred At: March 21, 2016 at 12:03 a.m.
Description: The Makarios High campus underwent a Grade-IV Botanical Proliferation Scenario in the predawn hours of Monday, crowding most viable growing spaces in the compound with hitherto unrecognised plant species (collectively designated SCP-5000-A1). Several hours later, SCP-5000-A1 instances across the school blossomed in large inflorescences. Various branded, non-readily perishable foodstuffs, including powdered drink mixes, instant pasta packets, tinned biscuits and canned meats, were found in the corollae in place of the expected reproductive organs.
An assembly of the Makarios High staff and student body was convened in the auditorium, where it was noted that individual SCP-5000-A1 inflorescences, once harvested, would manifest a new foodstuff after a refractory period of six to eight hours. A unanimous decision was made to suspend all classes for a weeklong charity drive. A tarpaulin-roofed warehouse was erected on the school's artificial turf to store harvests, and sectioned according to foodstuff category.
During evening siesta, a large group of students and staff was observed gathering reverently beside the eagle statue, fronted by two students playing acoustic guitars.
Phase 2 of 5 — Tuesday
Non-anomalous instance of Amorphophallus titanum.
Seneh Event Occurred At: March 22, 2016 at 12:01 a.m.
Description: Between 6:30 a.m. and 7:30 a.m., a plant specimen (hereafter SCP-5000-A2) superficially resembling a non-anomalous titan arum (Amorphophallus titanum) manifested and blossomed beside the provisional warehouse. CCTV-mediated measurement placed its spadix at an initial height of over 7 metres (23 feet). SCP-5000-A2 then began to sporadically eject, from its inflorescence, handcrafted wicker baskets of indeterminate origin at a mean rate of one basket every 45 seconds.
The Makarios High population exhibited a gleeful demeanour, interpreting the baskets as a supernatural endowment, and summarily repurposed SCP-5000-A2's baskets as donation hampers. A rudimentary division of labour was established on the artificial turf to delegate harvesting and warehousing duties to various student groups. At approximately 3:45 p.m., it was observed that enlisted parent volunteers were collaborating with school security guards to bring completed hampers to beneficiaries living in public housing flats within a 400-metre radius of Makarios High (hereafter Zone-5000-Alpha).
During evening siesta, a modestly-sized group of students and staff was observed gathering beside the eagle statue, listening to a robustly-built middle-aged man. It is theorised that this was a routine operational brief for subsequent days of the charity drive.
Phase 3 of 5 — Wednesday
Vicinity of the point along Zone-5000-Alpha's circumference first reached by MTF Theta-4.
Seneh Event Occurred At: March 23, 2016 at 12:00 a.m.
Containment Progress: As Foundation elements embedded in local law enforcement became aware of the anomaly, MTF Theta-4 "Gardeners" was winnowed to select those with a Cognitohazard Resistance Value (CRV) of 85 or above. Those eligible were instructed to fully vacate Makarios High premises and dispatched to Zone-5000-Alpha, reaching its Foundation-defined border at approximately 3:40 a.m.
Description: Following the daily Seneh event, a minority of SCP-5000-A1 instances began exhibiting sentience and self-directed motion, with the apparent motive of facilitating the ongoing charity drive. Delivery journeys undertaken by parent volunteers were unfailingly accompanied by at least one such instance. Others adopted positions as peripheral sentries, rebuffing all ground-based attempts by MTF Theta-4 to breach the perimeter of Zone-5000-Alpha while causing negligible civil disruption. Residents of Zone-5000-Alpha appeared to welcome the presence of SCP-5000-A1.
Concurrently, a small portion of the Makarios High population began displaying a vaguely trancelike behaviour (hereafter SCP-5000-A3) transmitted through unknown means. During Phase 3, SCP-5000-A3 was solely characterised by a laconic, austere manner in interacting with unaffected students or staff. Those who were afflicted generally fulfilled one or more of the below criteria:
- Had proven to be relatively expedient in their respective tasks,
- Had frequent and proximal contact with the supervising committee by operational necessity,
- Were part of the supervising committee itself.
Moreover, aerial measurements indicated that SCP-5000-A2's spadix had grown to roughly 12 metres (39 feet). Corresponding enlargement of the surrounding spathe was also observed.
No activity was observed in the vicinity of the eagle statue during evening siesta.
Phase 4 of 5 — Thursday
Seneh Event Occurred At: March 24, 2016 at 12:01 a.m.
Containment Progress: Owing to MTF Theta-4's repeated lack of success, a circular quarantine zone with a 1-kilometre radius (hereafter Zone-5000-Beta) was established around Makarios High, and a non-disclosure agreement reached with local governing and media authorities. The Foundation mandated the civilian evacuation of Zone-5000-Beta, which was swiftly expedited under the pretext of an unnamed biological hazard.
To minimise the chances of a regionalised Broken Masquerade scenario, Internet access was unilaterally severed in Zone-5000-Alpha. Airlifts were organised to provide the confined residents Zone-5000-Alpha, most of whom had little to no knowledge of SCP-5000-A, with daily provisions.
Description: At approximately 11 a.m. on Thursday, MTF Theta-4's aerial reconnaissance section reported that the population of Makarios High, assisted by motile SCP-5000-A1 instances, had functionally relocated the warehouse under SCP-5000-A2's spathe. Additionally, the tarpaulin shelter was decorated with office furniture removed from staff workplaces, and converted into an elementary shrine used to adulate SCP-5000-A2. Warehousing and delivery activities had reached an apparent four-day high.
Staff and students under the influence of SCP-5000-A3 began sporting crude uniforms composed of plant matter, presumably tailored by motile SCP-5000-A1 instances. Newly-uniformed affecteds started showing coercive behaviour and/or open contempt towards individuals who were physically struggling or appeared to be insufficiently engaged. Moreover, at about 1 p.m., SCP-5000-A2 began to eject small, leaf-based bundles variegated with a crude caricature of their intended recipient. The bundles contained small badges, each embodying excellence in a particular facet of the charity drive's operation. Remote observation of Makarios High revealed that the pool of awardees was exclusively comprised of SCP-5000-A3-positive individuals, who readily used these badges to assert regimental authority.
During evening siesta, a single teenage boy, gaunt and contused with his left arm wrapped in a floral cast, was observed kneeling beside the eagle statue, his right fist clenched in supplication.
Description (2/2): SCP-5000-B was a Foundation-wide pataphysical roadblock whereby all prior attempts to catalogue the anomaly surrounding Makarios High School inexplicably failed. On Wednesday, 23 March, Site-165 containment specialists glibly produced a document under the SCP-4998 slot that, though superficially adherent to the standard containment file format, was irrelevant to the anomaly at hand and contained unacceptable structural and tonal deviations. The specialists conceded that the document was inherently nonsensical, but were unable to articulate why. A further attempt on Thursday yielded similar results, albeit with a different document which was assigned to the SCP-4999 slot.
When, upon closer inspection, SCP-3309-1 was discovered appended to this second document, SCP-5000-B was immediately referred to the Pataphysics Department for further investigation. A revamped Hyperreal Inter-linear Database Archiver (HILDA), similar to the prototype which inspired Dr. S. Andrew Swann's Horror-Writer Cosmological Model, was activated to monitor for file changes in the Database. On Thursday evening, the Pataphysics Department surmised that SCP-5000 was unfolding because of four separate Database entries made by a single swn001-1 "Horror Writer Entity" instance, with the present iteration of SCP-4999's file, pending erasure under SCP-3309, being the latest of those entries.
Addendum 5000.2: Pataphysics Department Internal Memorandum 013/2016
PATAPHYSICS DEPARTMENT INTERNAL MEMORANDUM - 013/2016
MAKARIOS HIGH MYSTERY UPHOLDS NARRATIVE TRANSMUTATION THEORY
Correct as at: Thu, 25/03/2016, 2023 hrs.
Watching the caprices of our gods play out is one of the unspoken benefits of our profession.
A maximum-priority HILDA audit, which the Overseers ordered this afternoon, delivered results which - I venture to say - will remain unsurpassed for a while in sheer pataphysical intrigue. A "faux" entry bearing most of the blunders described in the O5 email, together with several extraneous sections, appeared under the SCP-4996 slot near midnight on Monday. This was followed by similar entries under 4997 on Tuesday, 4998 on Wednesday, and 4999 today.
On account of textual evidence, we presume this barrage to be the work of one - to be blunt - rather mercurial swn001-1 entity. We also cross-checked MTF Theta-4 data with HILDA; the two Seneh events recorded thus far have coincided perfectly with the entries' appearance. Put two and two together, and there's your causality conundrum resolved. But there are a couple wrinkles.
First, most of you have undoubtedly observed that the Monday appearance of Faux-4996 did not, in fact, result in pasta scraps across the world growing legs and making friends. This lends credence to Dr. Mistral's narrativic transmutation theory, which proposed that it is the swn001-1 entity's authorial intent - not the verbatim content of their work - that gets realised in our world. Simply stated: the ongoing Makarios High anomaly is made up of our fickle god's emotional baggage.
But that leads us to ponder: SCP-3309 wiped faux-4996 from the Database at roughly 0215 on Tuesday. So why didn't it neutralise the Makarios High greening? Our working hypothesis is that Faux-4997’s appearance at midnight on Tuesday elongated the narrative plane - or canon - established by its predecessor. This implies that, as long as one or more of the swn001-1 entity's creations remains on the Database, the greening continues.
So what now? As spoken with O5-7 earlier, simple attrition. Tell Theta-4 to hang in there, we said; the swn001-1 "Horror Writer" entity will run out of steam eventually1 - I said don't even bother giving it an SCP number. Sure, we're not pleased with this screwy transmutation business, but I'm guessing whatever pantheon this thing belongs to isn't either. Heck, that's the whole point of 3309, isn't it? It's Thaumiel for a reason. Sit back and let it do its dirty work.
Dr. Joelle R. J. Chang
Deputy Head of Pataphysics
1 I'm willing to wager that the projected Faux-5000 entry, being a "nice round number", will be the last of our swn001-1 entity's quixotic canon. And besides, what kind of person - hyperreal or not - has the capacity to produce ten thousand words in five days?
Addendum 5000.3: Progression of SCP-5000-A Events, Friday
Phase 5 of 5 — Friday
Seneh Event Occurred At: March 24, 2016 at 11:44 p.m.
Containment Progress: To circumvent a second, resource-intensive activation of HILDA within 24 hours, Site-165 containment specialists were tasked to produce updated documentation on the Makarios High anomaly. Two hours later, despite remorse and chagrin from said containment specialists, the Faux-5000 document was successfully conveyed to the Overseer Council and all pataphysicists under operational purview, with SCP-3309-1 found appended as expected. The document itself contained significant stylistic differences from previous faux documents; this discrepancy is believed to relate to the final Seneh event’s visual uniqueness.
Due to the effects of SCP-3309, access to the Faux-5000 document is currently only possible through HILDA and is Level 5/5000 classified.
Note: Notably, unlike in previous iterations of the Seneh Event, the flamelike luminescence surrounding the eagle statue was observed to be a lurid crimson instead of green.
HYPERREAL INTER-LINEAR DATABASE AUDITOR (HILDA)
Displaying result for SCP-5000 on 25/03/2016 at midnight
All access to HILDA is jointly tracked by the Overseer Council and the Pataphysics Department.
Unauthorised access is grounds for immediate termination.
Item #: SCP-5000
Object Class: Friend
S████ Containment Procedures: This article has been posted to the SCP-5000 slot at least fifteen minutes before midnight to prevent you from doing the same, whatever your designs might be.
Silas, it is beyond me what you hope to achieve by airing dirty laundry so flagrantly, and it pains me to see you in this crusty, cynical state, vandalising the very thing that brought us together. I am hoping that the very acumen that caused you to be so disillusioned with the Sentinels will show you now that there is a better way.
I am praying for you to find peace and the wherewithal to forgive them. They know not what they do.
Description: SCP-5000 is a fifth-year student in Ev'rwyn Spire whom I had the inexpressible privilege of calling my brother and friend. A fellow sojourner on a narrow way, SCP-5000 was the most self-effacing person I knew, not out of feigned modesty or because he wanted to be sententious, but because he knew he was a transient, and a wretch, lower than a dust mote, and that broke and humbled him. He has had an irrevocable impact on my walk in the Benefactor's shadow. Now there are many reasons why this is so, and were every one of them to be listed, I suppose the world itself could not contain the tales that would be written.
SCP-5000 was the stalwart young traveller who, on our second day of orientation four years ago, pottered over with his ruddy cheeks, pointed at the three converging arrows on my scruffy T-shirt, and smiled. And he asked if I was a Wayfarer, and I said yes, I'm glad to be one, and how he nearly keeled over in delight! And so we chatted tirelessly of things like joke-judging tomatoes and heartwarming noodle bowls and prankster monkeys, and how nothing else - save the hope of Celestium, and Studio Ghibli films, perhaps - captured our imaginations like they could.
One day, without warning, SCP-5000 furrowed his brows and said:
"Ev'rwyn Spire sounds like Ever-We-Inspire. Or Ever-Win Spire.
Pfft, that's so cheesy! Is it not written that,
What is low and despised in the world, even things that are not,
Will soon bring to nothing the things that are?"
And it was then that I realised who he was.
I remember that Instructor Hymenaeus once told us our generation was one of strawberries and snowflakes, that we would be no more than noisy gongs or clanging cymbals unless we improved, that the Sentinels would disown us. And I remember SCP-5000's toothy grin as he proudly told everyone how much he loved strawberry gelato, and how there might be plenty of it in Celestium. SCP-5000 had the golden shore etched firmly into his mind, and with it lay his undivided loyalty, which he shared with no institution or scheme of man. SCP-5000 was too good for the world, because he was not made for it.
And one day, I imagine, he will be raised incorruptible to sit in the Eternal City, free to gaze upon its Light. He will soar to that place where One has soared before him. He shall join hands with many from that faceless multitude the Sentinels did not care for, in a place where where being faceless in a multitude will no longer be a subject of shame.
He will no longer be a wayfarer.
He will be home.
Addendum 5000.1: Additional Instructions
Check your locker tomorrow morning.
Description: On Friday morning at 7:38 a.m., while the population of Makarios High was having mass breakfast in the school canteen, the eagle statue spontaneously animated, descended from its pedestal, and ambled around the Ecological Garden for approximately fifteen minutes. It then nestled beside the koi pond and adopted a stationary, prostrate position until 8:05 a.m., at which it took flight. The eagle began circling the artificial turf at an altitude of 250 metres (820 feet). Owing to their frenetic activity, those on the ground did not appear to notice the eagle's presence or its displacement from the Ecological Garden.
At 9:15 a.m., the eagle swooped down below the spathe of SCP-5000-A2, ransacking the warehouse and overturning stores. SCP-5000-A1 instances defending the perimeter of Zone-5000-Alpha began retreating to the artificial turf, allowing MTF Theta-4 closer proximity to the unfolding spectacle. On the turf, SCP-5000-A3-positive individuals were seen brandishing motile SCP-5000-A1 instances as fruit-based projectile launchers; all other individuals had fled. SCP-5000-A2 then manifested a series of supple, tendrilous appendages, which it then used to extricate itself from the ground, and subsequently, to locomote. The ensuing pursuit caused extensive damage to the school’s spaceframe, administration building, and library.
At 9:26 a.m., the eagle executed a series of repeated circling manoeuvres and successfully entangled SCP-5000-A2 around Makarios High School's central steeple. The eagle then used its talons to open a fatal gash in SCP-5000-A2's bulbous core, causing a leakage of the honorary bundles first sighted the previous day. However, a stray appendage then blindsided the eagle, impaling its abdomen on the steeple's now-teetering spire.
The steeple, enwrapped in plant matter from SCP-5000-A2 and crowned with the eagle's carcass, then collapsed onto the artificial turf and split the tarpaulin shrine in two.
