Per 
To: Junior Researcher Krelborn
From: Researcher Schaffen
Subject: SUBJECT
Krelborn, you're a goddamn idiot. It's a wonder that the director hasn't signed you off already and frankly, if you try to pull another idiotic stunt like this my superiors might demote me. Get it together, please? Trash the fucking plant, I don't want to hear any more mentions of it.
To: Researcher Schaffen
From: Junior Researcher Krelborn
Subject: Re:SUBJECT
text
SCP-XXXX in its contained state
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a standard planter located within an area of bright, indirect sunlight. It should be watered one to two times a week, fertilized once a month with organic mix, and repotted every 12 to 18 months. Moisture and pH values should be monitored for any signs of detrimental levels.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a Epipremnum aureum houseplant and, as of containment, appears to be dead. When consistently watered and taken care of as described in its containment procedures, SCP-XXXX exhibits no anomalous properties besides its lack of life and apparent inability to grow.
Upon being neglected(see video log for further details), SCP-XXXX shows properties of exponential growth, able to expand several hundred yards in a few hours. In this state, the vines and leaves of SCP-XXXX attain pigment and enlarge, with average vine widths of half a meter. Only once conditions for containment are obtained will the organism return to its original state.
Addendum: Testing has shown that SCP-XXXX grows in conditions that typically result in the death of a normal houseplant. These conditions include, but are not limited to: Dehydration, lack of sunlight, soil nutrient imbalances, extreme alkaline or acidic pH levels, abnormal temperatures, bug infestations, ignition, chemical corrosion, radiation, and fungal infection.
Interviewed: Junior Researcher Krelborn
Interviewer: Senior Researcher Anthony Yan
Foreword: An interview with the researcher who discovered SCP-XXXX.
<Begin Log>
Yan: So, Dr. Krelborn, is it?
Krelborn: Not a doctor, technically. I mean I’m fine with being called Dr. Krelborn but if you wanted to be technical about the situation, I don’t actually have a PhD, just a bachelor’s degree in ecology which should warrant a ‘Doctor’ on its own but don’t let Senior-
Yan: (Speaks over Krelborn) Right, right, fascinating. Researcher Krelborn, if you would please describe your experience obtaining and owning SCP-XXXX.
Krelborn: Yes, of course! So, I’m at the farmer’s market. The, uh, you know that one every other sunday over at █████? One guy there makes seriously fantastic pita bre-
Yan: Mr. Krelborn, the SCP, please.
Krelborn: Right, sorry. So, I’m at the farmer’s market, and as per usual there’s this old lady selling these really big plants. Like, beautiful green plants, real taken care of. And so I’m walking all over, and I got my pita bread and tomatoes and all that, and I’m looking at this kindly old lady - and thinking it over, maybe I should have been more suspicious, I mean what good ever comes from a friendly looking older woman1 - but, anyways, I’m thinking to myself, “You know, I just moved into my new apartment, it’s kind of empty right now, I think what it needs is a houseplant!”
Yan: And so you bought one?
Krelborn: Exactly! So I walk over, and I’m looking over all these plants, and then I see this like, really really sad one sitting in the back. Like the thing is on its last legs and barely holding onto any sort of life in this tiny pot. So I ask the old lady about it, and she’s talking about how it just doesn’t want to live, and she’s gonna trash it soon if this holds up. And then I decided, hey, I’m an ecology major, this is almost my sort of thing, and I tell this lady that I’ll take this plant off her scot-free, and I bet in a jiffy I’ll get this plant all sorted out.
Yan:And how does it pan out?
Krelborn: Well, the damn thing doesn’t grow, is how it pans out! I tried just about everything with that thing; a new pot, less sunlight, different fertilizer, more sunlight, a different pot with a self watering system… just about everything that the internet could tell me, I tried!
Yan: Did it not occur to you to get rid of the plant?
Krelborn: I guess I could’ve, but I really thought I could make it grow. I just knew there was some life in there, you know? Honestly, I thought it all very… Suspicious. Anomalously suspicious.
Yan: Right. And is this when you decided to bring it to the SCP facility?
Krelborn: Of course! My thinking went: I’m an ecology major. I know this plant should be able to grow. It is, in fact, one of the easier plants to grow! So why won’t this thing get better? So yeah, I brought it over so a senior researcher could investigate.
Yan: And that’s when the plant was discarded, yes?
Krelborn: Well - I mean, I, she - Okay, yes. I snuck it in under the guise of it being another house plant for my office but I let my fellow researchers know of its anomalous properties once secured. I insisted on it being placed into containment but…
Yan: Dr. Schaffen threw it into the office trash bin?
Krelborn: Yeah, because supposedly I was being an “idiot” who should “shut up” if “he doesn’t want to get fired”. Like that really worked out! What gives, Dr. Shaffen! WHO’S STUPID NOW-
Yan: I believe that’s enough for-
Krelborn: GO TO HELL, SCHAFFEN!
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Researcher Krelborn was escorted out of the interviewing room after the outburst.
VIDEO LOG
DATE:
NOTE:
[BEGIN LOG]
TIME: EVENT
TIME: EVENT
TIME: EVENT
[END LOG]
