Gee0765's Site Crits - SCP Sandbox III

Hello.

[[collapsible show="+ Crit/Opinions"]]

Firstly, I don't like how the animation plays automatically. I'm not a code person so I don't know if this can be done, but I'd appreciate if the animation only happened when it was hovered over. It's just a bit distracting when trying to read the conprocs.

The transcript of the legible sections are shown below.

I don't like this as an excuse for why there isn't an entry for every day. This suggests that between Jan 1st and 18th, nothing at all was legible. And if I know new year's resolutions at all, she would be writing every day for at least the first couple weeks. Maybe consider something about how only relevant entries were transcribed? Or maybe get rid of the part where she mentions an exact frequency of entries?

Today is January 1st, 2019 which is a Tuesday.

I really don't like this way of writing the date. The whole 'which is a Tuesday' part seems a little weird.

I wanted to a crisis counselor

You missed a 'be' here.

Do people even participate in New Year's resolutions anymore?

I can't see myself writing it like this in a diary. I would have gone with 'Do people even make New Year's resolutions anymore?'

It doesn't really matter.

I'm not that scared, actually.

These two sentences don't fit together for me. She doesn't seem to lie at all in her diary, so I can't see why she'd want to hide if she was scared. And if she isn't scared, why does the day of the week suddenly not matter?

[I] got excused from class

I find this weird as, she makes no more errors like this, even right at the end of the diary. So it's not showing a loss of control and just seems sort of out of place.

I read an article about this one woman; she got a check-up for a mild cough. Turns out that she had lung cancer, despite not smoking a day in her life. Guess the universe just hates you, sometimes.

I don't know about this. This is more of a personal part, but it seems like slightly too much of a coincidence for me.

Goddammit dammit dammit dammit dammit fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

I think this would be struck through, seeing what else she's crossed out.

Discovery and Neutralization Log

I'd cut Neutralization, as it suggests the Foundation killed her when they just found her dead.

Overall, I'm not sure I really like this. While I quite like the concept, I'm not sure that I'm a fan of how on-the-nose it is. The line where she literally calls Markus a tumour sort of ruined it for me, honestly. I enjoyed the ambiguity over whether Markus was ever an actual person or if he was always just the tumour, and I would have preferred if the actual written link wasn't there. It just feels like it's shouting at me "Start considering both possibilities now!

So yes, it's probably a downvote for now, because the ending disappointed me and made me feel a little stupid (I don't need it spelled out, let the reader start considering both possibilities themselves). Although, I like the concept and feel that this could be reworked into something very good pretty easily.
[[/collapsible]]

EDIT: After noticing that several of my issues have been addressed, I am changing my vote to a novote. However, the hostile reading experience caused by the animated image has stopped me from being able to upvote this.

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-3584

+ SCP-4686

– hide block

Alright, let's do this:

[[collapsible show="+ Line by Line" hideLocation="both"]]
The image caption is a little long, as it makes the text slightly too small for me to read easily. Maybe cut down on some of it?

Foundation webcrawlers are to monitor SCP-4686 and prevent civilian access to the website.

Technically, web crawler is two words, however I think I have seen it written as one word in a few SCPs. Also, as far as I know, the web crawler itself wouldn't be capable of preventing access to the website. That would be a job for a human or another automated system.

Civilians who have accessed SCP-4686 are to be amnesticed.

This is one of the more unique ways of naming the action of applying amnestics. I'm familiar with amnesticised, amnesticized and amnestized, however I may have just missed other SCPs that use this spelling. I do prefer those other ones though.

has three fields

I think you should specify that these are "input fields".

When a person (the "requestor") fills the first two fields accordingly and clicks the “Request Hug” button, an entity referred to as SCP-4686-1 will emerge and grow from the monitor of the "requestor’s" device and proceed to embrace said "requestor".

This sentence runs on a little too much, and uses 'and' three times. Maybe consider separating it into two sentences?

If left blank it will automatically be filled with “DEFAULT”

I actually think this can just be completely cut. In the table it's obvious what default means, so this sentence doesn't really add anything.

I'm not entirely sure that the "" around some words are needed. I'm less sure about some of the words, but I don't think they're needed around requestor.

closely resembling that of a rabbit or a dog, specifically, an Angora rabbit, or a Samoyed dog.

The commas after specifically and rabbit are not needed.

The website will then enter a refractory period lasting from 24 to 145 hours where it will be unavailable to take in requests.

Does this mean requests made in this time fail, or does it just not take them? If the former, nothing needs changing. If the latter, you need to add something about how some requests fail.

SCP-4686 will wave one of its limbs

Should be SCP-4686-1

Any attempt to apprehend the entity has failed as the entity is capable of becoming incorporeal.

Should be a comma after failed. Also, either replace the second use of 'the entity' with 'it', or replace the first use of it with 'SCP-4686-1'

The entity also affects any recording devices pointing at itself, within an unknown area around itself, distorting or corrupting any data within these devices.

You can probably remove the 'within an unknown area around itself' clause. Also, maybe change the final section a little, because at the moment it seems like it corrupts all footage on the device, not just footage of itself. Whether this was your intention or not, I much prefer it just affecting pictures and videos of itself.

Denied

This should probably be 'Failed'. If this was a conscious choice to use denied over failed for this request, I'm not a fan. It seems to be an attempt to add humour to an entirely non-humorous article.

Foundation latest attempt at shutting down the website. Website remained accessible but SCP-4686-1 was not able to manifest.

I prefer something like "The Foundation's latest attempt at shutting down SCP-4686. The website remained accessible but SCP-4686-1 was not able to manifest."

Website returned to its normal operations.

Again, I think I'd namedrop SCP-4686 in this.

SCP-4686’s refractory period has been observed to be reduced in half.

Replace this with either 'reduced by half', or 'reduced to half of its original length'.

has started to appear “thinner” than usual

Thinner probably doesn't need the quotation marks. Maybe replace it with slimmer? That's probably not necessary though.
[[/collapsible]]

Overall, I really liked it. Not going to give any spoilers out, but when I realised what had happened it really packed an emotional punch. The table is short enough to be easily readable, whilst not being too short to convey the narrative as well as it does. Despite the slight roughness around the edges of this SCP, I was very happy to give it a +1.

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ So Leave Yourself Alone (Tale)

+ Scarlett's Letters (Tale)

+ SPC-2970 (GoI Format)

– hide block

Okay, let's do this:

[[collapsible show="+ Line by Line" hideLocation="both"]]

SPC-2970 is to be considered "Deactivated"

The quotation marks aren't needed in my opinion.

The SPC-2970 Project is to combat rising Selachian numbers and their sympathisers.

I don't think that selachian or project need to be capitalised. Selachian is also capitalised a few other times, so maybe remove those too.

These operations are to include raids on sympathiser stations that are handing out propaganda about the Selachian cause.

This sentence is a little clunky to me. You can probably completely cut 'that are'. And possibly replace "propaganda about the Selachian cause" with 'selachian propaganda' or something similar.

SPC-2970-B consists of two components.

This can probably be in the paragraph below. It seems a bit weird on its own.

Arm-mounted, non-lethal harpoon guns, to replace a forearm.

At least one (probably both) of these commas is unnecessary.

Water jets installed into the body, to allow for faster movement.

Again, I'm not sure this comma is needed.

Rebreathers installed into the throat, for SPC-2970 to breath underwater.

Breathe, not breath. Also, the comma before for isn't needed.

Doctor Rosa Miles arrived at Arena-17 in the 80's

80s isn't apostrophised.

The SPC-2970-B entities' DNA are 100% identical with SPC-2970-A

While it comes from multiple places, DNA is still singular. Therefore, 'are' should be 'is'. Also, the final part of this sentence is a little off. Maybe replace it with 'is 100% identical to SPC-2970's'.

Perhaps the SH have deployed an jammer to stop us from talking.

'a jammer'. Also, maybe replace 'SH' with 'the Hand'. It seems much more like something a person would say.

Most of the log has been cut for brevity sake

Brevity's sake.

Donald: Its a Puncher

It's.

Oh… Yeah, I'm fine. Agent Sarah has the path nearly done so we can go on ahead, yeah?

I'd probably put a comma before so.

Once more, majority of this log has been cut for brevity's sake.

The majority of this log.

Where's B? I ain't seeing rocket punches!

At other points, you have written B as -B. Choose which one you want, and stick with it.

who can be seen punching a shark with less energy

They wouldn't call them sharks in official documentation. Probably more likely to be a 'selachian entity'.

Its… complicated, Mike.

It's.

sighs and remains silent for 8 seconds

I think small numbers like this are better written out as the full word (eight, not 8).

A circular hole where Donald's stomach used to be, can be seen from Michael's camera

You don't need the comma before can.

Michael lost communications with Skipper about halfway to the surface.

'Approximately' is a better word than 'about'.

so your not under the Centre's influence of "beating up sharks".

You're, not your.

(inaudible due to SPC-2970-B sinking down to the bottom.)

I don't think you need to explain this. Just '(inaudible)' is enough.

Also, some of the Log changes tense a little. I'm not going to point it all out, but just read through the descriptions of people's actions a little.

When Procedure "SUCKER PUNCH" was put in effect, doctor Rosa Miles has voiced her concerns about the Procedure.

You don't need the 'has' after Rosa Miles. Also, I think this reads better with the second use of 'Procedure' replaced with 'it'.
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="+ Overall Thoughts"]]
While this was a little rough around the edges, I did thoroughly enjoy reading it. The mutiny of soldiers created specifically by the centre is very interesting, as is the cold ending.

It also has a good amount of SPC humour. The line about being more accepting being directly followed by the refusal to accept that shark punching is wrong really made me laugh, as did '1 copy of the sharkic Bible thing.'

Overall, I did like this SPC article, and feel confident upvoting it, despite its rough edges. Keep up the good work!
[[/collapsible]]

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-4634

– hide block

For a Bright's Challenge article, the writing of this is pretty great. There are only a small number of nitpicks that I have:

[[collapsible show="+ Nitpicks"]]

affixed to a toilet at Site-55

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about using this site, as you mention they are stored at Site-90. This is definitely more of a personal thing though.

Culinary department test kitchen #7

You use the № symbol for Item Number, but you use # here. This is a little inconsistent, and I would probably choose one and stick with that.

Each monument possessed door leading to an internal chamber containing a stone dais of unclear function

This has already been mentioned, but you missed an 'a' before 'door'.

And that's about it nitpick-wise.
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="+ Overall (Spoilers?)"]]
I really like this. The idea of the universe being in an imperfect state is really cool, and it tackles the idea of what exactly a perfect state is. Also, just by this anomaly's existence, it poses some interesting questions:

What or who created this, and why?
Why is it here?
What is the intended function of the universe?

And I think I have some sort of idea for why. Your use of powers of two (64 metres, 128 characters, 256 instances) definitely comes across as intentional. And what uses powers of two? Video games and simulations.

So my thoughts about this is that it suggests we live in a simulation. And the entity running it implemented these for an unknown reason, maybe just to make it more interesting? I'm almost definitely wrong, it's just what came to mind.

But back to the actual quality. You've successfully justified the use of an esoteric class for me, and that's often not easy. I was interested all through the read, enough that I spent several minutes trying to think of answers to those questions. Well done.
[[/collapsible]]
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-4542

– hide block

Okay, let's do this.

[[collapsible show="+ Nitpicks" hideLocation="both"]]

SCP-4542 specimen are contained communally within Insectoid Containment Chamber 7 at Site-71 Parazoology Division

Specimen should be plural (specimens), and I think that "Site-71 Parazoology Division" should probably be written as 'Site-71's Parazoology Division'.

You say, at the start of the description, that the SCP is the species. However, in the rest of the description the SCP is the insect. Either change the start of the description, or replace the offended sentences in the rest of the description with 'SCP-4542 instances' or something similar.

SCP-4542 eggs reach maturity within 24-hours

24 hours doesn't require hyphenation.

The average lifespan of SCP-4542 is 10 years, with the oldest recorded instance living 13 years before expiring from natural causes. SCP-4542's lifespan directly correlates with the average lifespan of the European rabbit and is theorized to be caused by the presence of the rabbit's DNA.

While yes, this is the average lifespan that a European rabbit can technically live to, rabbits are notoriously awful at living a long time. Most die before they reach a few years old, due to illness, injury or predators. As is, this is probably fine, but maybe it could be reworded to better reflect this?

citizens of Yorkshire were administered amnestics.

This is like, five million people. Just making sure you're aware of the scale of this operation.

All of our friends sided with her mother and now Bella is too

This sounds like he's talking about friends of himself and Bella's, when you mean himself and his ex-wife's (I think). I'd probably rephrase this a little.

The "Bug-Bunnies" laid eggs.

He's called them 'Bugs-Bunnies everywhere else. Was this typo intentional, or was it an oversight here?

I am assuming that the missing comma and apostrophe in the final note is intentional, as he is in a rush to get away.

The inspection of Mr. Larson's storage unit found an infestation numbering close to 80,000. 50 of these were captured with the remaining instances being terminated. All attempts to locate Mr. Larson have proven unsuccessful. An investigation into the origin of the technology purchased by Mr. Larson is currently ongoing.

Maybe experiment with this paragraph a little. Something about the only short sentences and lack of commas makes it feel, I don't know, too angry? The tone just feels a little weird and repetitive.
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="+ Overall" hideLocation="both"]]
This is a pretty cool idea. I like the image, and I like the SCP that has been created around it. I really felt for the father, something which is often hard to make me do. His goal was something completely reasonable, and the link to his hobby makes it seem enough like something someone would do. While a parent-child relationship obviously isn't the most unique concept, you've done it in a pretty cool way with a very interesting anomaly. I like bunnies and I like bugs, but you've managed to make something that, while not being obvious horror, isn't an animal I want in my garden at all.

Overall, I did enjoy reading this SCP. The emotional link was good, and the execution was also pretty well-done. It doesn't suffer from the issue I notice in some collabs where you can tell exactly who wrote each part; it all fits together well. +1. Just consider doing something about that tonal thing I pointed out in the nitpick section, and this will be even better than it already is.
[[/collapsible]]

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-4875

– hide block

Okay, let's do this.

[[collapsible show="+ Nitpicks" hideLocation="both"]]

MTF Ni-13 is in charge of execution.

The word "execution" is more charged than what the Foundation usually goes with. I would use "termination".

an object of similar significance to the affected subject

I'm not quite sure what they're similar too? Does it mean an object which makes the subject feel the already mentioned feelings?

After a minumum of thirty minutes of travel, the subject spontaneously enters SCP-4875-1, still affected by SCP-4875. Should affected individuals be unable to move, they will enter SCP-4875-1 after ten minutes of immobility.

I find it weird that it's 30 minutes of travel, but only 10 minutes of no travel.

Individuals affected by SCP-4875 seem to disregard

I don't like the use of "seem to". Do they disregard it or not?

Climbing over another dune, the structure is visible nearby

This sentence reads like the structure is climbing over the dunes. Make it more clear that the D-Class is climbing.

The recording then moves around

Not sure about this phrasing. I don't know exactly what you could change it to, but at the moment I don't like it.

And when the lightning strikes the tree…!

I'm not the biggest fan of exclamation marks in SCPs as a whole, and it definitely feels super weird when combined with ellipsis.

Subject walks between the towers

You can probably refer to them by name, as you have done in other parts of this log.

Despite being the voice of Dr. Quintana, it is on a much more shrill tone.

"Shriller" could probably replace 'more shrill'. It is in a much shriller tone.
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="+ Overall" hideLocation="both"]]
To be completely honest, I do not like the large amounts of redaction, especially in the containment procedures. Maybe it can be justified in the description, but the fact that a researcher wouldn't even fully know how to contain this stick out as bad to me. I also don't like all of the blackboxed dates and names. There seems to be no reason you couldn't just make one up to put it in.

Now, on to the rest of the SCP. I'm not really a fan of the way in which the incident logs were written. I think I agree with Henzoid here in that aspect, but I don't think the issue is specifically that it feels like a tale. It just doesn't come across as something that would go in an official SCP document, especially the descriptions of events. It's also pretty hard to discern between dialogue and description of events because of the similarities between italicised and non-italicised text, but I'm not quite sure how you would fix this issue. It's especially irritating when you italicised 'lorem ipsum dolor sit amet', when it was said by the doctor.

I'll try to explain my feelings on the incident logs a little more. The way in which the people act just comes across as… off? I don't fully know whether the anomaly affects what they say, but I don't like it either way. If it doesn't affect them, they don't really speak like people at all. And if it does affect them, then the whole anomalous effect seems like too much. It's a compulsion effect which I could just about get over, as it was executed decently well, but if the anomaly also messes with their head in this way and removes the individuality of the characters, it just doesn't interest me. I'm leaning towards it being the latter, as all the characters seem to speak in exactly the same fashion.

Also, I find it weird that only the final log has images. From an in-universe perspective, I don't see why they would be only attached to one, when all the logs were videos. From an out-of-universe perspective, I understand why you may not be able to find suitable images, but the lack of an in-universe reason makes it not work for me.

Now, on to the concept as a whole. I don't really like it. I think I understand what's going on, as I did read the crosslinked SCP at the end. However, I don't think it brings with it enough impact because of it being a crosslink. It meant nothing to me until I read the skip, and after that we were past the correct moment. Due to that, the ending did nothing for me and I was left disappointed. And because the ending, which was disappointing, was meant to make you reconsider the entire SCP, it left me quite uninterested about the whole thing. There also isn't enough implication of anything that would justify all these redactions, so I'm still not a fan of them.

Overall, due to the lacking dialogue, imperfect anomaly, redactions that I don't think are justified and the fact that the ending meant nothing until I had read an additional SCP, I downvoted this.
[[/collapsible]]

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-4745

– hide block

Okay, let's do this.

[[collapsible show="+ Nitpicks" hideLocation="both"]]

with its top hat removed

Maybe "removed and contained separately"? I imagine it being kept in a different chamber.

SCP-4745 is not to remain in its active state for more than six days at a time unless during testing

This sentence seems a little redundant, as it would only be in its active state at all during testing. The six day part doesn't seem necessary.

alter the abode to make it Halloween themed

Halloween-themed should be hyphenated like so.

SCP-4745 will change its theme to outright horror

Not a fan of this phrasing. Technically, while the anomaly is causing the stuff to happen, it's not "its theme". Not quite sure what you could change this to; try experimenting a little.

Manifestation of "Jason" from the Friday the 13th film franchise

I'd give Jason Voorhees his full name. Also, due to him not existing, I don't think he manifests. Maybe "Manifestation of an entity resembling…."?

It was at this point Foundation personnel became involved.

I think this flows a lot better with "that" after 'point'.

MTF Phi-13 "Spooky Scary Skeletons"

The MTF name should be in ("parentheses and quotation marks").
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="+ Overall" hideLocation="both"]]
This was a difficult one to decide my opinion on. There are some things that I like, but also some things that I don't like. I'll start off with the good stuff:

I think that you have a pretty good understanding of how Wondertainment functions. While this is a defective product, you can see how it was intended to be a product for children, which they would enjoy. Also, some of this was pretty fun to read. I liked the brief list of manifestations, and the escalation of effects seemed like it was paced pretty well.

However, there was also some stuff that I didn't like. Most notably, the discovery log. It didn't really do anything special for me. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. She reacted in a completely reasonable way to what happened, as did law enforcement. The google search part feels awfully bolted on, and depending on your interpretation, either sort of overcomplicates this a little or doesn't really add much. I'm in the former group. How has this accessed the internet, and how does it have a completely unknown IP address. You've added too much anomalous ability without anything giving any implications as to why or how.

The biggest issue is that without it, I don't feel like there'd be quite enough here. The defective notice helps, but I feel that this needed something else. And a pretty procedural discovery log with an end which asks questions with no answers, for a reason which I don't find beneficial to the narrative, isn't quite the something else I'm looking for.

Overall, this is a novote for me as is, but I'm definitely seeing potential.
[[/collapsible]]

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-4608

– hide block

Okay, let's do this.

[[collapsible show="+ Nitpicks" hideLocation="both"]]

Artistic depiction of John Chapman, made in 1860

Not really a fan of the word 'made'. Maybe use 'created' or something more specific to art?

Due to the circumstance of SCP-4608's recovery, no other containment procedures were developed.

I'm not entirely sure that this is needed. It doesn't hurt the article with its existence, but surely this is just implied already by the Object Class and the word 'Archived' in conprocs. However, this is definitely a personal note.

On October 14, 1947, the Foundation was alerted to the occurrences surrounding SCP-4608 by police reports of strange creatures being seen in the vicinity of SCP-4608

I don't like this sentence; it seems repetitive in the way it's written. Each section is super similar and it feels clunky.

What the fuck would do-

This is a super personal one, but I much prefer using — to show interruption. The additional length works better for me.

the tree line

A tree line is generally a specific term for a height above sea level, after which trees cannot survive. They're often found on mountains. I suggest that you use a different wording, even though this technically isn't incorrect.

What do you mean— OH GOD.

I don't like the capitalisation here, especially as you've used exclamation points to do the same thing in other areas.

What the fuck! Those things came out of nowhere. What's the plan, Regis.

Use interrobangs. I'm not completely sure about the 'what the fuck' as it can possibly be said in a non-questioning way, but the 'What's the plan, Regis' should definitely have a question mark at the end.

Following debriefing and receiving a psychological evaluation,

"Following… recieving a psychological evaluation" is not grammatically correct. Just removing 'receiving' would be good enough.
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="+ Overall" hideLocation="both"]]
I really enjoyed this. The dialogue felt realistic all the way through, both with what was said and how it was said. At no point did I feel it was robotic.

I was hooked all the way through this. It's the perfect length, and the narrative and anomaly are both super interesting. Everything about this seems like it was a conscious decision. The image of the -1 instance is great, as it's blurred in a way that makes it seem realistic. The only thing that I can think of for constructive criticism is that I felt like -2 could've possibly been more involved. Granted, it's definitely there at the end, but that section of the log feels like it may be a tiny bit short. This didn't really deduct from my enjoyment of this in any way, though.

All in all, the gorax is great, and I feel super confident upvoting. Keep up the great work!
[[/collapsible]]

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-4276

– hide block

Okay, let's do this.

[[collapsible show="+ Nitpicks" hideLocation="both"]]
I'm not gonna go over everything here, because quite a lot stands out as incorrect. I will point out the worst offenders.

In the conprocs, the term "SCP-4276" is overused. I would definitely change this. Terms like 'instances' can help, as can rewording or cutting some sentences.

Class-3 personnel or higher, moreover, it must first be approved by Class-4-4276

Level-3 and Level-4. I also think that each of these levels are one level too high. Level-4 is Site Director level.

more commonly known as the cuckoo wasp

This should be a footnote. The 'cuckoo wasp' section should be plural (wasps) as you're talking about the whole family.

SCP-4276 shares many similarities to its relatives

This phrasing is weird. It should be "with its relatives", and I'm not sure about 'shares many similarities'.

SCP-4276, however, appears to possess a greater diversity

I'd recommend swapping SCP-4276 and however. It flows better, and it would stop this being the third sentence in a row that begins with SCP-4276.

and combinations of the group

This whole phrase can be cut.

1.2 cm (0.5 inches) to upwards of 5.1 cm (2.0 inches)

This doesn't need inches at all. Also, I don't get why the footnote is there. Just replace the larger number with the size of the largest instance.

Lambda-1: "Search the building. Remember protocol."

You don't need quotation marks in a Log.

The pup appears relatively sound save for a cavity in its head.

'Pup' is not clinical.

his innards [REDACTED]

There is no need for this redaction. It's unnecessary and could be filled in with actual words.

SCP-4276's primary anomalous properties

This whole quoteblock doesn't need to be in a quoteblock. Also, every single blackbox is unnecessary.

I'm gonna stop analysing individual lines now, as these problems should have been fixed before this was posted.
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="+ Overall" hideLocation="both"]]
Overall, I'm not really a fan. The clinical tone isn't great, and the dialogue feels very unrealistic in several sections. It doesn't read like things that actual people would say, and the doctors break character far too much. The use of redactions, expungements and blackboxes is far too common, and I feel like literally none of them are justified.

This SCP definitely overstays its welcome. I was struggling to stay focused after the first third, and the final plot twist doesn't work for me. I see no reason why an ethics committee member would be behind this. And there is nothing that hints at it before. All of the MTF logs etc. don't really get anywhere, and the attempts at body horror in them don't really work for me. They're almost too detached and clinical for them to have any effect, and they seem entirely unnecessary having finished the whole SCP.

Overall, I feel like this attempts to do far too many different things, and when combined with a sub-par execution this has led me to a pretty strong downvote.
[[/collapsible]]

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-4625

+ Predation and Containment 844 (Tale)

+ The Charter (translated Tale)

– hide block

I know this is a translation, but I still try to justify all my downvotes.
[[collapsible]]
Firstly, I'll start off with something simple. Cerastes' comment is something I wholeheartedly agree with. Bright coming up in this, while possibly justified, feels out of place and straight out of the meme subreddit. It wouldn't have ruined the piece on its own, but it's a noticeable factor.

Now, onto the rest. I'm personally not a fan of these super dry, narrativeless legal documents or research papers. However, I'm aware that interesting enough things can be done with them; I have had more positive opinions on some vaguely similar pieces. I'm just going to note my general opinion on their existence overall, as I feel it may impact my judgement: I understand that from an in-universe perspective, things like this will exist. However, the SCP wiki is a fictional writing site, which is a medium to get enjoyment from. Legal documents normally don't do this for me.

This doesn't do that for me. It's incredibly dry in tone (which is to be expected) and is similarly dry content-wise. I'm not even sure I agree with the assessment that Articles 4 and 5 have that much potential, at least not in this format. Possibly a traditional tale, but I feel that expanding them in a document like this will not change the fact that I extract no enjoyment. For me, it's sacrificing too much emotion/feeling for verisimilitude, something which there has been an interesting discussion of in the community recently. The link can be found here.

Overall, while this is written well for what it is, the thing that it actually is really isn't that interesting for me. I felt no emotion, and it was difficult to push through the piece. Since I vote based on my enjoyment of the piece, I feel that I have to downvote this.
[[/collapsible]]
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-4483 (coldpost, now deleted, responding to a reply)

– hide block

While I am not Rigen, I can point out the flaws in this pretty well. Clinical tone is not up to scratch, and SPaG is also pretty lacking in a few places.

The description seems to be more of a discovery log than anything else, with the actual description of what the anomaly is not coming into play until the third paragraph. The discovery is completely out of place when put with the picture; that image is not something that could be found in a Catholic Church.

The description is unclear, and there's no reason why it chooses one of the three states. Each state isn't really that interesting, and doesn't have any thematic link with the anomaly as a whole. Essentially, the actual anomaly really isn't fitting. You've attempted to make this more interesting by bolting on some additional danger. This doesn't work. The way to make something more interesting is to make it evoke a specific emotion or feeling, which this does not do. In addition, things that make you go crazy then die are some of the most overdone tropes on the wiki.

Overall, this is an uninteresting, overdone type of anomaly, with an out of place object and insignificant discovery. The formatting and writing is also not of an adequate quality, but that's not the biggest issue here. I strongly recommend you use some of the resources and forums available to you, as without them there's an extremely low chance that you'd be able to turn this into a successful concept.
[[collapsible show="+ Helpful Resources" hide="- Hide" hideLocation="both"]]

Ideas Critique forum to get your concept checked and greenlit, that of which you can find more about here. This should be your first step.
Drafts Critique to seek reviews on drafts before going to the main site. Note that you need two greenlights if you are a first-time author, which you can find out more about here.
How To Write An SCP page to review the basics.
The Clinical Tone Declassified page can help you nail that tone needed for a successful article.
Butterfly Squad are dedicated reviewers and can help you flesh out your ideas and strengthen your drafts.
IRC chatrooms to seek out live critique, if that's more your speed.
This in-depth guide on writing your first SCP.
This essay on generic items and how they succeed and fail.
This essay on humanoid SCP objects and how to make them real.
This essay on terror and how the familiar can be scary.

[[/collapsible]]

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-4568 (negative rating, now deleted)

+ SCP-4371 (coldpost, negative rating, reply)

+ SCP-4367 (coldpost, negative rating)

+ SCP-4486 (now deleted)

– hide block

[[collapsible]]
Alright, so this one was difficult for me. I like the out-of-universe justification of it and that almost affected my vote. However, I realise that I prefer to vote based on the content of the page, which doesn't hold up for me this time.

Containment procedures are fine. Brief, nothing special, but also clearly not the main focus of the file. The description feels a little clunky to me. The first paragraph implies that it is affected by several different trademarks, while the second paragraph tells us that the anomaly revolves around PepsiCo and only PepsiCo. Which, due to the fact that it's always the same structure, could even be argued that it's not an acknowledgement of a trademark and more just some sort of effect causing the woman to say that exact thing.

It's a bit like, imagine the effect was written as something that makes the person shout out a random colour, however in the interview it's apparent that they only say 'blue'. You can't really extrapolate to assume it applies to all colours without proof of it. Really, it just comes across as multiple people's writing styles jammed together without enough polish.

However, that isn't really my issue. My biggest problem is with the lack of substance in this document. Looking past the trademark things, the interview is literally just them talking about pepsi and getting water. And I didn't find the trademark entertaining past the first couple uses of it. It turned from a fairly uninteresting though slightly funny gimmick to a hostile reading experience intended to cover the lack of substance.

Overall, the weird wording, fairly obvious clash of writing styles and overall lack of substance led to me not really getting that much enjoyment out of this. There's a chance this concept could have been something interesting, possibly if some of Kirby's things in a previous comment were implemented, but as is it's a fairly solid downvote from me.
[[/collapsible]]

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-4526 (score very close to zero)

– hide block

I saw this hovering around zero, and decided I'd justify my downvote here.
[[collapsible show="[+ Click for Crit]"]]
Apart from the tonal issues mentioned in previous comments, there are other parts of this that I'm not a fan of.

Firstly, the redaction in the manifestation log doesn't work for me. Redactions and expungements only really work when it's fairly clear what's behind them looking at the context (SCP-4354 is a good example of this). However, due to the only real pattern in these manifestations being the result, I don't have the faintest idea of what's behind the redaction. And the result lacks the sort of absurdity you often see in successful redactions; reinstatement of unions does nothing for me as a reader.

The end also, really doesn't work for me. First off, the presence of the sentence mentioning that the lower class personnel can't open the high clearance note suggests that in your headcanon, personnel can see parts they can't open. In this case, this means that there is a note that the higher ups can see and can't open, and they've just done nothing about it. I don't think that in an organisation like this someone would just be allowed to badmouth the higher ups and get away with it. Looking past that, it's still a fairly generic message. 'The Foundation is bad' is a theme that's tackled a lot, and just narrowing it down to the leadership being bad didn't do enough for me.

I also really don't get what the object class and conproc strikethrough add to the article. There's no addenda mentioning an update in real-time and the presence of these changes adds nothing to the experience of the article, so they just seem unnecessary and led me to expect something that wasn't there.

All these issues considered, I was led to downvote this article.
[[/collapsible]]

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-4174

+ Foundation Log of Memetic Agents (Tale, page now deleted)

– hide block

[[collapsible show="[+ Opinion]"]]
Okay, so I downvoted this and I can tell that a lot of effort was put into it. Therefore, I felt I should justify my vote here.

I'm aware I'll never be the intended audience for things like this for two reasons:

Generally I just don't enjoy pieces that are lists of things, even if they'd exist in-universe. SCP is a fiction website, and for me not everything that would happen in an actual organisation needs to be a post here. I understand that you have the memorandum, but that felt lacking to me for reasons I'll explain.
I'm not a fan of most animated gimmicks and similar effects due to being on mobile (so some don't function especially well) and the fact that they're often intrusive to the reading experience (the animated background of the memorandum is the largest issue here. Beyond those issues, I just don't feel that they can take the place of writing for me, which I understand isn't a universal opinion.

However, I feel like there's room for improvement here even if it won't become something that I fully enjoy. My first issue has already been touched upon: the animated background on the text. It doesn't add much to the piece and only makes it difficult to read. I also feel that the majority of the redactions don't add to the piece. I understand that they're hyperlinks, but they're both easy to miss due to the colour and something I'm not a fan of personally. While they sorta fit in contextually, I'd appreciate a little more of a hint to why they're where they are.

This also definitely goes on too long. Tabs like the antimemetic agent and at least some of the five that just do killing should be cut. AZFXE8 didn't help with escalation much at all, and the idea of a temperamental kill agent that only kills some people doesn't sound like something the Foundation would use. I also feel like BRAKE and CTE were basically the same thing, just for different niches.

Finally, the memorandum. I'm not a fan of how the message of this is only really hinted in the brake and Berryman-Langford agents, as being the main focus of the piece it feels odd that the majority of it is just unrelated information. It's also really just exposition and didn't get me to feel anything strong. I'm left going "so the veil might break, so what?". The single reference to amnestics doesn't help here, as you haven't really explained why these agents are required over them and the reference only makes me more aware of this.

The final note about being aware the veil will lift soon didn't work for me; it only really reduced any sympathy I had for the memeticists. Essentially, it's trying to get me ready for a worldwide awakening without enough buildup or worldbuilding besides a list of memetic agents, and it just didn't land for me.
[[/collapsible]]
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-4722

+ SCP-4592 (fairly mixed ratings)

– hide block

This has been getting a few votes either way, so I thought I'd check it out:
[[collapsible show="[+ Opinion]"]]
Alright, first off: The blackboxes (with the possible exception of the SCP numbers but really you could choose one) detract from the experience here. They're not necessary at all. There are a few other minor things like this too, the already pointed out Icarus spacecraft name and the break in suspension of disbelief when I'm told that the Foundation had intergalactic space travel in 1971[[footnote]]I get they're technologically advanced; however, this is just too much advancement for my headcanon.[[/footnote]] being two of them. The occasional animation of the computer terminals is also distracting.

My main issues don't lie with those minor details though, and I could've probably overlooked most of them. The biggest problems with this are in the attached materials. Firstly, the already mentioned unprofessional actions of the dude in there. Even before there's any high stakes, he talks like a teenager or young adult, and his emotional responses massively overuse expletives, cusses and the sort of "oh god oh god" breakdown-type thing. Due to these, I felt no emotional connection to him and it wasn't a realistic character.

The logs also go on for too long before really getting anywhere. Most of the first ones, and the first "000" log, serve no purpose except being an exposition dump and there's too much of that. I was close to skimming before the story actually went anywhere. My final issue lies in the ending: I didn't like it for a few reasons. Firstly it's overly poetic in how it's said, especially for a character who has displayed no maturity up until this exact moment. Secondly, the wish would have no actual noticeable effect to his family, which I really can't see him doing since he's displayed affection towards them. Finally, I'm not a fan of the actual execution of the wish. It comes across as one of those meanie genie wording taken literally wishes; it's pretty clear that the person didn't literally want music in space.

Overall, because of the aforementioned issues, I didn't really enjoy this that much and am downvoting as a result.

[[footnoteblock]]
[[/collapsible]]
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-4476

– hide block

[[collapsible show="[+ Opinion]"]]
The writing quality of this is overall very good. There's a few minor things, like that there's normally parentheses surrounding the mobile task force ("name"), and that the foetus in foetu would probably benefit from a footnote with a little explanation of what exactly it is.

Some lines in the description are great and really got me hooked right from the start. Things like the "birthing house" showed me what I could expect in the best way possible. I also feel like I got a lot of information about the group without being bored by too much text.

One extremely minor qualm I have with the notes from Isabelle is with the approximate area of 47 metres. Since 47 is prime, I struggle to see it coming out from an approximation of an area, and would probably change this to 50 honestly.

Oversight Committee

Huh, I've never heard of this. This isn't really a critique, more just me being interested about what exactly this is.

they use the babies to feed the kiraak

Missed a capitalisation for Kiraak here.

I'm a little unsure about the transcription of Delta's accent/dialect here, though it's not something intrusive enough to substantially affect my vote. I'm also a little unsure about the formatting of events etc. in the MTF Log, but that's another personal note (I prefer what I've used in SCP-4835. The log overall is great though. Dialogue is realistic and it includes that clinical description of gore that I love so much. I'm unsure about the blackbox though, am I missing something that would justify it?

Overall though, this is great. I was interested all the way through, even with my admittedly limited knowledge of Sarkicism (your crosslinking was great for me). I'd say that the weakest part is the personal log from the start, though I understand its necessity in the piece and it doesn't subtract from the whole. But yes, a great story with some incredible and horrific description and implications are totally enough to get my +1 here.
[[/collapsible]]

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-4619

+ SCP-5000: Evolution Revolution

– hide block

Alright, so this is all going to be in a collapsible for spoiler reasons.
[[collapsible show="[+ Opinion]"]]
Starting off this, I personally don't enjoy the Apollyon class or threat levels. They often come across to me as a cheap way to create escalation, which often ends up not being reinforced by any textual escalation. I feel that beyond this, the article does lack a strong hook. Yes, everyone is dying, but the readerbase is hardly new to end of the world events. Sections like the aircraft audio file don't really add much, as they lack sufficient characterisation to feel like anything more than the table.

Writing-wise, I had a couple of major issues. The first is that I feel this was grossly over-blackboxed. If you have an uncensored admittance that the president has succumbed to this, I don't think it matters that we know the type of plane or specific mall. Secondly, I feel that the messages from the overseers were unnecessarily informal. I get that it's in a completely different world to what we know, but the Foundation is still a formal, professional organisation anywhere (at least to me, this may just be headcanon). Sentences like "Gorillas, basically." and "O5-1 out." completely broke suspension of disbelief for me.

Content-wise, I wasn't that enthralled. Despite your explanations, I still find myself agreeing with psul that the motives seem… unusual. I don't know enough about this 4XX to get why the Foundation blindly trust it, and I don't get why they think that killing everyone is a good way to go around it. Past mass extinctions have allowed less resilient creatures to survive. The possible implication that 1 was aware of the survival of some doesn't alleviate this concern for me; there's still my question of why they think this would solve the impending extinction.

Overall, I feel like a concept in this vein may have potential, though this currently suffers from too many issues and I am downvoting as a result.
[[/collapsible]]

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-5000: A Death in Containment

– hide block

[[collapsible show="[+ Opinion (Spoilers Probably)]"]]
God, most of this is absolutely amazing and I was hooked all the way through. Yes, it's a murder mystery played fairly straight, but is that an issue? Not for me. As far as the writing goes, it was generally really good. I have a few extremely minor nitpicks/opinions, though they're by no means things that affected my opinion any noticeable amount.

Today, with one exception, this room contains all of the people who were present in Wing G on the night that Ms Hastings was killed.

Though (and I've checked this) opinions on whether to add a period after Ms do very, due in part to the fact that it's not actually an abbreviation of anything, the majority of sources I checked (and my personal preference) seem to favour adding one. It seems to help with consistency, especially when it's so close to the mentions of "Dr." I definitely wouldn't hold it against you if you were to keep it without one though.

SCP-5000 was killed between 1am and 3:00am last night.

This is the most apparent offender of the minor issues with consistency in how you've written time in this. I have no real preference for how it's written, though maybe look through a little to check it's consistent.

Agent O'Connor: This is the Foundation, doctor. Everyone has secrets.

This is the one line of dialogue that left a slightly sour taste in my mouth. It's both extremely cliché and overly foreshadowing the end sequence of this; honestly I feel it only detracts from the piece.

I admire your character development, no two characters felt overly similar and none were especially shallow. While I've seen contrasting opinions on the rape part, I feel that the interviewer's emotional reaction to it added a whole layer of depth to the character. I think it maybe went on about one interview too long, though that's not especially helpful as I can't think of one that could really be cut.

As for the controversial pataphysical section. I'll admit that I somehow managed to miss it on my first runthrough, and didn't feel the piece was missing anything at the time. Therefore, I agree with some of the other commenters that it came across as unnecessary and may have dulled the ending for me a little. Not enough to change my vote, but enough that I noticed.
[[/collapsible]]

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-5000: [DATA KILLED]

+ SCP-5000: The Broken Rose

+ SCP-5000: So Says I

+ SCP-5000: Poor Design

+ SCP-5000: Fermi, Exterminated

+ SCP-5000: Powerless

+ SCP-5000: Man, Ascendant

+ SCP-5000: Sacrosanct

– hide block

[[collapsible show="[+ Opinion]"]]
When I began reading this, I was instantly hooked by the first line in the containment procedures. While only short, it's unique enough that I wanted to find out what was going on. I lost some interest when the unidentifiable material was mentioned. The lack of any description (metallic, made of carbon etc.) sorta made that section seem a little unscientific, because it's really difficult to make a realistic completely unidentifiable material.

The buildup ranged from great to mediocre throughout. I'm unsure about the sections in the description which first say that it's not certain that the structure is containing an anomaly, then switch to a description of the anomaly without any uncertainty over its existence.

I quite enjoyed the history section of this, though I will note that the full name of GRU-P seems to be written as "GRU Division "P" in the vast majority of cases elsewhere on the site. While not directly contributing to the narrative, it was excellent worldbuilding and indirect development. I don't feel this way about the list of technology. The engine and compound are both not direct contributors to the narrative in the same way, but don't offer the same worldbuilding potential to me (especially with the latter). Combined with the history section, it dragged on a little too long for me.

As for the final log and reveal, I was admittedly fairly disappointed. The writing of the incident was competent, though there were a few questionable decisions (the overruling termination order came at a slightly unusual time, 'REVERT TO MY DOMAIN' felt unnecessarily like dialogue from an evil robot in an action film). Besides those though, I definitely enjoyed reading that section. My main issues come from the actual ending. The message was thoroughly uninteresting to me, as it was too clear what was behind it. And once that's figured out, it's just a god talking about its own ideology and mythology, something I'm already very familiar with. Simply giving some of the themes in the history more of a physical form isn't quite enough to interest me.

Due to my disappointment at the conclusion, I've got to downvote this in its current state.
[[/collapsible]]

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-5000: Chronophobia

– hide block

[[collapsible show="[+ Opinion]"]]
There are some parts of this that I really like, and others that I don't enjoy as much. The majority of this was excellent; you did something really interesting with this anomaly and definitely implemented the mystery theme pretty well. All that I've really got for these sections is a couple of minor nitpicks.

Myung: Wainwright is correct. I've seen skeletons from ancient sites in Turkey. These bones don't look about the same age.

I'm pretty sure that there shouldn't be that 'don't' in there.

(a Foundation AI that automatically translates one language into another for easier communication)

I feel this could be worded better. Maybe something like 'A Foundation AI-powered translation software' or anything similarly brief.

When anyone reads a piece of work, they tend to remember the beginning and end of it more than anything else. It sticks in their mind more, and it's always important that both are good. You definitely start strong, as already mentioned. However, I don't feel as confident about the ending. The majority of the final addendum was fairly uninteresting; I've seen things in fiction where ancient people react identically to technology before, and this did nothing new in that aspect. The interleaved regret over immortality redeems it slightly, but it's too little characterisation to fully cover up the issues I have. The very end also improved to some extent, though it links too strongly to the fairly generic aspects of waking up in the relative future.

Overall, I feel like this was generally pretty good, but was dragged back by the final section being something I personally didn't care for. It's a novote, but leaning more towards positive than negative. While I completely get it if you think this is finished as a piece, some more exploration into the king as a character beyond what there is currently could work wonders.
[[/collapsible]]

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-5000: Terratoma

+ SCP-5000: Trust No One

– hide block

[[collapsible show="[+ Opinion]"]]

Danica: [gasping for breath] Look at you now! Running back where you came from. With no where else to run.

I'm pretty sure that nowhere is one word.

<End Log08/09/2002, 15:50>

Forgot a comma and space at the end of the final log.

I largely enjoyed the buildup in this article. It was generally realistic, and while I'll second previous comments that there was slightly too much similarity between the characters it was by no means a deal-breaker. I didn't have trouble staying focused through the piece, and I definitely enjoyed the final collapsible quite a bit.

However, I think that the ending is a little disappointing. It was both implied too much and almost too unexpected; the frequency at which tsat was mentioned made me think there was definitely something up with it. However, I feel like it's a little unexpected how the overseer council voted and I'd be lying if I said that I don't fully see its importance to the story. It feels a little like it attempts to fit a larger moral issue into a skip that's not on the correct scale for that sorta thing, being all based on the interactions of four characters prior to this.

Due to my enjoyment of the start but disappointment at the ending, I feel a novote is most suitable here.

P.S: I'd also recommend standardising the dates, possibly to YYYY-MM-DD format, as currently the day and month are ambiguous.

Edit because of course my timing is this bad: Following the removal of the notice, I'm still a little unsure. The ending feels a little empty now, though I do prefer it over the previous. There's not much to it beyond an announcement that it's TSAT, and a description of TSAT's reality altering. It's a neat ah-ha moment, but didn't carry substantial weight for me. I dunno, I might just be disappointed that it was a 'none of you are right' situation, even though I can't think of a member of personnel that I'd put at the thoughtform. I'll give this more thought but my novote is staying for now.
[[/collapsible]]

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-5000: The Fifth Gate

– hide block

[[collapsible show="[+ Opinion]"]]
I didn't enjoy this entry for a fair few reasons. The buildup is unmemorable, with the only thing really standing out being the attempt to "explain" some other anomalies (that's not the best word but you get the gist). However, it doesn't really explain them, more claims that their behaviour suggests the existence of this dimension without any real reason why. The Petrislav notes lean a little too much into conceptual absurdity a little too early, leaving the following section with much less impact of any form.

I don't understand why the researcher's notes are in the format they're in, and not just a part of the description. It feels more like an attempt to fit in an author avatar than anything else; it would be much easier for someone to quickly get to grips with the document if the description-related information was concise and all in one place. While some of the information isn't something they're 100% sure of, the use of hypothetical in the first line of the description shows that that's not a dealbreaker in this file.

The ending (not the linked document) is disappointing and not impactful for me. The initial description isn't the issue, though I feel that this whole conceptual/dimensional angle goes too unexplained and makes me try to join dots that aren't there. The ritual isn't unique in any way, and it made me realise that the explanation for O5-5 ending up in this mindset is quite weak. There's little justification behind his actions in the previous mission beyond his number being five. The final interview felt awfully similar to what I expect from fifthism with little to deviate from the status quo. It's just the O5, who's clearly been brainwashed, talking about how he wants to bring something godlike in the fifthist dimension to our dimension. Mind-shattering deity-like beings have been done in a better way by SCP-3125 and its surrounding works, as the incredible characterisation and surrounding anomalies/articles justify the not especially unique premise. This doesn't do that for me.

I would already likely have downvoted before I clicked that final link due to the reasons above, but all it did was solidify my vote. Even with the warning, unpausable animations are extremely hostile to the reading experience, and on a site for reading I'm not sure that's what I want. The final event is extremely cliché too, a generic descent into spam of "fifth" is one of my least favourite fifthist tropes.
[[/collapsible]]

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-5000: Lamplight

+ SCP-5000: The Viper And The Newborn

– hide block

This is a unique use of the SCP format, and is definitely one that I can appreciate. The realism of the police report-esque documents was impressive, especially when combined with evocative lines like "Imagine a particularly heavy bout of rainfall." The brevity in the description of this event manages to form the full image in my mind without being bogged down by paragraphs of gore and minute detail.

As for the sex/gender aspect, I personally don't have an issue with it and understand why it's in there, though it's definitely something that you'd want to get a consensus on from as many non-cis individuals as you can. I'm not going to speak much more on that topic as I am cis.

The interviews here are pretty good. Minor details like the test for thaumaturgic potential really kept me immersed in the piece fully. While brief, I felt some emotional impact from the suffering of Lauren Brown. -My main qualm with the piece, and the thing which made me apprehensive to upvote initially, is that I don't fully understand why it was just accepted when Farley refused interviews. I feel I'm missing something here, and if I am I'd appreciate a little nudge in the right direction :). My only thought is that it could be to do with the methods of murder, but that doesn't remove the possibility that he was involved in the planning or something similar. Edit: after discussion with the author I now understand why this decision makes sense. I didn't consider the real-world implications enough while working it out. The addition of a line specifying when the relationship began also helped here.

The abstract of the Hume study is fairly good, with the highlighting again enhancing the realism and making me feel immersed in the case. I'm tentatively upvoting due to the fact that I was absorbed in this all the way through, though I'm still unsure about what I questioned above. Maybe I'm just missing something, it's definitely not the first time I've done something like that. Again, noting that I'm now much more confident with my upvote on this piece.

+ SCP-5000: Death of the Authors

+ SCP-5000: Ship in a Bottle

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[[collapsible show="[+ Opinion]"]]
I have very mixed feelings about this article. Some of it is pretty good, but then some of it really isn't something I enjoy. As far as the characters are concerned, none of them particularly interested me. Qi is my least favourite character in there, being unprofessionally hostile all the way through, including prior to the event. The frequency at which she swears ends up making any expletives in the document at all have little impact. Apart from them, all the characters sorta bled together and I couldn't really tell who was saying what without constantly checking. Petowski distinguishes themself a little, but the other three are near-identical.

The narrative prior to the reveal isn't especially interesting. The ship breaks and people go to explore, before coming back and wasting away. Despite the fact that this is obviously a terrible thing, the fact that one of the characters affected was unpleasant and the others were unmemorable didn't cause me to emphasise with them that much.

The actual reveal is fairly unique, and would be something I can appreciate. However, I've got two major issues with it. The first has come up a little earlier in the discussion, and I also agree that it's a pretty big leap in logic to claim that this is some sort of purposefully created dimension just because of its uniqueness. The second is that I find it really hard to believe that they didn't notice anything backwards before the writing. I imagine there'd be visible words somewhere around them before that, and people are pretty far off from being symmetrical too (enough that a reflected one would look instantly very off).

Due to those issues, and the fact that I wasn't especially interested by the buildup to the reveal, I'm downvoting this article.
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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-5000: From Asgard With Love

+ SCP-5000: The Eightfold Path

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I'm not really a fan of this. The initial logs of the sexual activities go on far too long, especially with the notes that mostly aren't really that important later in the article. The writing style is also irritating for me; why do they refuse to capitalise the start of paragraphs or most sentences but never miss any proper nouns? The sex rituals didn't really make me feel much of anything either, they're almost too reasonable with the exceptions of one or two that are inconsistently much more grotesque. The only one that made me feel anything was the period one.

I can appreciate the researcher's notes that aren't part of the table, though they contribute to a narrative arc I found wholly unsatisfying. It quickly descends into overly-cryptic language from both the researcher and Castaldo, with me having to fill in more information than I find myself able to due to both interviews being cut short before any actual content. Characterisation was pretty good, but that doesn't avoid the fact that I was disappointed by the conclusion of this.

to the foundation: we have failed. or we never had the chance to succeed. everything in our little boxes, the statues and the gods, the talking birds and the time-loop suicides, all are pale shadows cast by the real forces that shape the universe. we could not contain the Hours, no more than a gnat could contain a hurricane.

This paragraph is probably the one that displays what I don't enjoy about this article the most. We have to believe that the researcher has been fully radicalised by something we can't even see, and I'm not given enough information to bring this beyond a generic cult belief with additional sex. None of the pieces of random information that seem like clues really got me anywhere, and if I'm missing something I feel it was too obtuse and obfuscated.

As a side note, I have reservations about the content warning, due to it somewhat breaking immersion and the fact that there's already an adult tag. I don't feel it has the same justification to be there as, say, trigger warnings in Tales do.
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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

+ SCP-5000: A December To Remember

+ SCP-5000: (Not) All Who Wander Are Lost

+ SCP-5000: See You On The Dark Side Of The Moon

+ SCP-5000: The Empty Room

+ SCP-5000: The Holy Lance

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I'm not especially impressed by this one. The weird actions of the doctor in the first iteration aren't especially interesting, and all the other researcher does is act as an explanation to the reader for if it was too subtle. Essentially, due to those last two logs, the first four by the doctor are mostly unnecessary to the story and far too long.

As for the second section, some aspects of the description are very weird. Descriptions of the entity as "immense" but also of "unknown size" is one of the issues, as is overuse of vague terms like 'gigantic' and inconsistency in the hyphenation of handprints (imo it should just be one word). The assertion that the being is alive in higher dimensions is also completely unfounded and not realistic. I'm also very unimpressed by the entity itself. It's just some sort of superpowered being which uses compulsion effects to free itself. There are several issues with compulsion effects outlined in this thread, several of which I believe apply here.

The exploration logs aren't really anything special. The majority of them is just confirming what we already know from the description and the characters don't really justify this. They all blend together and none really have many apparent traits. The final reveal was completely lost on me too, since we already knew about the existence of the creature. Just telling me that it's white doesn't change the fact that it's little more than a reality bender that's trapped. And the fact that the trap wasn't made by the foundation doesn't really change that for me; I'm still getting no real emotion or feeling out of this. Due to the uninteresting anomaly and not especially unique story, I'm led to downvote this.
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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

[[collapsible show="[+ Click to access feedback]"]]

along with any number of core scientific principals.

Principles?

For more information on Locked Scenarios, see Except-LS below.

Excerpt-LS

Oh yes, of course I miss my husband. He's had to skip our daughter's birthday twice now! Still, that play must be spectacular." -Marsha Kieth, 2020.

I'm unsure this footnote is necessary at all. The sentence in the document gets the meaning across.

SCP-5858-1 through 13 14 are the staff of the Ambler Theater, uniquely affected by the Locked Scenario.

I don't think the struckthrough 13 is really enough of a benefit here, since the development is more authentic in the table, especially with how close the two are to each other. This may be more of a personal point, but I feel the second clause here would benefit from a 'who are' or something similar.

Goodevening. Doyouhaveyourtickets?

I don't feel as if the Foundation would transcribe audio without spaces. Simply mentioning that they speak quickly should be sufficient and easier to read.

Date: 15/02/2020 | 11:14 AM

I like to imagine that a scientific/military organisation would use 24-hour time.

I liked this a lot. The excerpt of LS scenarios was short enough to keep me interested, while not being too short to convey any useful information. It's a cool thing to establish in the article, and it definitely worked for me. Dialogue and characterisation were realistic, and the narrative kept me hooked most of the way through. The combined length of logs 1 and 2 felt slightly too long, especially when they sorta led to a semi-cliffhanger that wasn't especially intriguing for me. Besides that though, the last couple of logs actually laid out solid breadcrumbs towards the reveal, something that's often neglected in articles like this.

While the after action reports did fall into the overused 'Foundation leadership bad' trope to some extent, I felt enough of an emotional connection to Xi-2 throughout the exchange that I'm still willing to upvote, especially with the resistance from the agent. Good work.
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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

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SCP-5399 is an anti-memetic Musca Domestica

As far as I've seen on the site, 'antimemetic' generally isn't hyphenated. Also, shouldn't 'domestica' be uncapitalised?

-Ellingbrook.

Is the period at the end of this intentional? The rest of the signatures don't have one.

An unidentified member of Research and unidentified Security personnel stand next to the open containment chamber

This is extremely difficult to parse, to the point where I'm not even sure if it makes sense. I understand the meaning fully, but it probably needs rewording.

several drives in the security array were intact which provided relevant information about the destruction of Site-35.

Comma before which.

Security: Almost 45 minutes

There's no punctuation at the end of this dialogue.

Two bodies lie motionless at the far left-most edge of the camera feed.

Having both 'far' and '-most' feels redundant.

A member of site personnel is visible center-screen although their identity is obscured by a welder's mask

The log mentions that this person is a researcher, though the prior description goes no further than just a general member of personnel. I also feel that something like 'however' fits this sentence a little better than although, but that's entirely personal opinion.

The unidentified researcher adjusts their harness then kicks the exit of the room open.

Kicking open an "exit" seems like slightly weird phrasing.

On-site fire suppression systems are responding to the blaze but there appears to be substantial damage already.

Since both parts of this sentence are able to stand independently, there should be a comma before but.

Nearly thirty seconds pass before an insectoid buzzing is heard. The researcher's shoulders visibly slump. They begin sobbing and place their head in their hands.

I really like this as an ending. It shows the researcher's emotions without being at all forced or preachy.

This is sweet. The vagueness definitely works to your advantage here. I'm a fan of the proposed containment updates and the back and forth between the researchers about its true nature and the lack of a single, definitively correct answer by the end is an interesting choice which totally pays off. Each breach progresses the narrative well, and none of it dragged even for a second.

A solid, enthusiastic upvote from me, for the perfect mix of humour and seriousness taken in a unique direction.
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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

SCP Sandbox III

Sandbox III: Revenge of the Sandbox

This page got slow so I've moved to a new page here

Starting Recording From 2019-11-03

2019

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whoops i forgot to use this page for like three months

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