GP001

SCP Number: 2253

Anomaly Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: As of October 21, 2006, SCP-2253 is stored in a cubical pink-colored box 10cm in length, made of card stock, in the Site-90 anomalous materials archive. The box containing SCP-2253 is sealed with an adhesive-backed gold star made of foil as well as a white lace bow. Contact with the box is restricted to personnel with class C clearance or higher. Opening the box containing SCP-2253 is strictly forbidden by all personnel except for Site-90 pantry manager Mr. [Redacted] (see SCP-2253 event log 006 below). As of April 5, 2019, SCP-2253's box has not been opened since New Years' Day 2012 (see SCP-2253 event log 007 below). In the event of inadvertent exposure to the contents of SCP-2253's box, all Foundation personnel within 100m proximity are recommended to don N95 airborne isolation masks immediately and place SCP-2253 back in its box.

Description: SCP-2253 is an edible anomalous object closely resembling a cupcake. The "dough" is red in color with a porous texture, moderate density, and moisture content resembling the results of commonly cited "red-velvet" recipes. The "frosting" is homogenous and white in color with a comparatively thicker, non-porous consistency and a viscosity (in Centipoise) of approximately 10,000. There are 26 (twenty six) cylinders, each with diameter 1mm and length varying from 4mm to 6mm, on the surface of the "frosting," closely resembling "sprinkles." These vary in color as follows: six red, thirteen white, and seven pink. SCP-2253 is seated in a 0.025mm thick cuticle, resembling wax paper, which is closely adherent to the surface of the "dough" portion's bottom half but can easily be peeled off with manual manipulation. Small pink flowers are imprinted on the outer surface of the cuticle. SCP-2253 weighs 143g in total with a 5.5cm circumference at its base.

Addendum 2253.1: Discovery

SCP-2253 was initially encountered on July 4, 1991 at [Redacted] in the [Redacted] township sixty four miles West of [Redacted]. At the time of the discovery, this location was the summer vacation home of Dr. Helen Jackson (SCP foundation Chemical Engineering Dept). On the day of discovery, Dr. Jackson was hosting a celebratory gathering to which she had invited several Foundation personnel as well as close personal friends and family members. Among the food provided at the occasion was SCP-2253, although exhaustive eyewitness interviews have failed to elucidate how SCP-2253 arrived on the scene or where it came from. At approximately 18:30, Dr. Jackson's husband completed his evening meal on the venue's outdoor patio and opened the box containing SCP-2253 intending to enjoy dessert. Eyewitness interviews suggest that, upon opening the box, he was overcome with ravenous hunger and ate SCP-2253 with marked enthusiasm, complementing the quality of the item after finishing it. Within five minutes of consuming the anomaly, Mr. Jackson complained of severe abdominal cramps and requested to be excused from the patio dining area in which all guests were seated. After spending fifteen minutes in the lavatory, he urgently requested Dr. Jackson to examine a bowel movement he had just produced. Dr. Jackson reported discovering an intact and unblemished SCP-2253-1 SCP-2253 in the toilet bowl, appearing as though it had never been ingested. No additional excrement was evident in the lavatory. Dr. Jackson duly notified Foundation personnel to retrieve SCP-2253-1 SCP-2253 and initiate containment and study. However, upon withdrawing the anomaly from the lavatory's toilet bowl in anticipation of the arrival of Foundation personnel, Dr. Jackson was reportedly also overcome with an insatiable hunger that compelled her to ingest SCP-2253-1 SCP-2253. Within five minutes of consumption, she too succumbed to severe abdominal cramps prompting an urge to defecate. Instead of typical human excrement, though, she found that the product of her bowel movement was again an intact seemingly-untouched SCP-2253-2 SCP-2253. Per her report she retrieved the item a second time and resisted hunger long enough to place it back into its box, at which time the compulsion to consume the anomaly abated. Foundation personnel were able to transport SCP-2253-2 SCP-2253 back to Site-90 without complication.

Addendum 2253.2: Protocol violation, Event log 001

On July 22, 1991, Agent [Redacted] confessed to Dr. Fredrickson that, during transport of SCP-2253-2 SCP-2253 from the location of its discovery to Site-90, he opened the box containing SCP-2253-2 SCP-2253. Despite the knowledge of the events at Dr. Jackson's summer home, Agent [Redacted] felt an immediate compulsion to consume the anomaly, which he did. Interviews with all Foundation personnel assigned to that transport sortie suggest that everyone in the vehicle felt the same compulsion to consume the item, but that Agent [Redacted] was able to do so first because of his proximity to the box. Within 5 minutes of consuming SCP-2253-2 SCP-2253, Agent [Redacted] reported severe abdominal cramps requiring a temporary diversion of the transport sortie to a restroom at a refueling station. Agent [Redacted] used the facilities for a bowel movement that, once again, produced an intact and untouched SCP-2253-3 SCP-2253, which was immediately contained within its box again for completion of the transport sortie. As per SCP Foundation policy, Agent [Redacted] was immediately terminated from employment for violation of standard SCP transportation protocol.

Addendum 2253.3: Experiment log:

July 7, 1991. Dr. Jeremy Fredrickson, PhD.

Materials, Methods, and Results
SCP-2253-3 SCP-2253 injected with radioactive non-toxic biomarker Technecium⁹⁹ (herein Tc⁹⁹) using remotely operated robotic equipment, Test Subject D-15038, Test Subject D-15039, N95 airborne isolation mask.

• Time 00:00 Subject D-15038 is instructed to enter testing chamber A7 and open the box containing SCP-2253-3 SCP-2253.
• Time 00:01 Subject D-15038 consumes SCP-2253-3 SCP-2253 with marked enthusiasm (note: the cuticle is also consumed). No immediate observable effects. Subject D-15039, observing in chamber A7 while wearing a standard N95 airborne isolation mask, denies any desire to eat SCP-2253-3 SCP-2253.
• Time 00:06, D-15038 reports severe abdominal cramps and requests to use the restroom.
• Time 00:08, D-15038, after direction, from Dr. Fredrickson, defecates in a corner of chamber A7.
• Time 00:09 SCP-2253-4 SCP-2253 is observed to be the product of D-15038's bowel movement. The item is collected by Foundation personnel wearing N95 masks and re-sealed in its container.
• Radiotracer study confirms Tc99 at expected levels in SCP-2253-4 SCP-2253. Records are retroactively updated such that all recurrent instances of SCP-2253 are revised to reflect that the same object, rather than duplicates, are the results of bowel movements after consumption.

D-15038 Interview

Dr. Fredrickson: Well, sir, can you tell me how you're feeling?

D-15038: Better after that dump. Sorry that I had to do that in the chamber and all.

F: It's no problem. At least we know how to handle the anomaly safely now. Tell me a little bit about what happened when you opened the box.

D: Well, there was a cupcake in it. Red velvet isn't even my favorite but it just smelled so good, I had to eat it. As soon as I picked it up, I don't know what came over me, I guess I just wolfed it down, wax paper and all.

F: What does it taste like?

D: Like red velvet. And just the smoothest cream-cheese frosting on top, with this perfect buttery texture, and the dough is so soft and fluffy and…it's just perfect, Doc. It's so good.

F: So you ate it. And then what happened?

D: Nothing, at least for a bit. Then my stomach started hurting like crazy, like I had to go to the bathroom really badly. I've never felt it that badly before. So I had to go.

F: Go on

D: Well, you saw what happened next. But…the cupcake just came out in one piece. Like I hadn't touched it.

F: Did that surprise you?

D: F**k yeah it did! You ever sh*t a whole cupcake out in one piece doc?

F: Did you still want to eat it?

D: Not right away, No. It had just come out of me! But as I kept looking at it the thought crossed my mind. It's just…just a really good cupcake, man. It's like I can't help it.

End interview

July 8, 1991. Dr. Jeremy Fredrickson, PhD

Materials, Methods, and results
SCP-2253, Subject D-15040, Dr. Alana Sobleman ([Redacted] Gastroenterology Partners), Jackie Foster, RN, BSN, N95 mask x3, Standard Hospital-Grade Water-Based Lubricant (Nye Lubricants™).

• Time 00:00 Induction of light sedation in Subject D-15040 using standard dose intravenous midazolam in Chamber A7. D-15040 is equipped with N95 mask. Vital sign monitoring instituted by Ms. Foster.
• Time 00:08 Dr. Sobleman and Ms. Foster equip N95 masks. D-15040 is assessed to be adequately sedated.
• Time 00:09 SCP-2253 is coated generously with lubricant after removal from box.
• Time 00:10 Dr. Sobleman inserts lubricated SCP-2253 into D-15040's anus.
• Time 00:11 Discontinuation of light sedation
• Time 00:14 D-15040 exhibits GCS 14, is able to follow simple commands and opens eyes to voice.
• Time 00:15 D-15040 groans. When prompted by Dr. Sobleman, he reports significant abdominal pain accompanied by nausea and an urge to vomit. Ondansetron 4mg IV push is administered x1.
• Time 00:17 despite anti-emetic D-15040 begins to dry-heave. Ms. Foster removes D-15040's N95 mask and rolls him to his right side in anticipation of vomit.
• Time 00:18 D-15040 vomits. Content of vomitus is observed to be an intact and untouched SCP-2253 without any other gastric contents or bilious substance.
• Time 00:19 SCP-2253 retrieval completed by experimental personnel using appropriate PPE.

July 16, 1991. Dr. Jeremy Fredrickson, PhD

Materials, Methods, and Results
SCP-2253, Subject D-15041, Subject D-15042, Subject D-15043

• Time 00:00 Subject D-15041 undergoes typical SCP-2253 exposure and consumption (see prior data for details), but is instructed to remove the cuticle prior to consumption.
• Time 00:01 Consumption complete, sparing cuticle.
• Time 00:06 Subject D-15041 defecates an intact SCP-2253 with cuticle attached. Prior discarded cuticle immediately combusts spontaneously without damage to the box. SCP-2253 retrieval completed by experimental personnel using appropriate PPE.
• Time 00:08 SCP-2253 is cut in half with a butter knife. Half of the item is removed from its box, placed in Chamber A8.
• Time 00:09 Subject D-15042 consumes remaining half of SCP-2253.
• Time 00:14 D-15042 has a bowel movement resulting in a whole, intact SCP-2253. The half in A8 combusts spontaneously, again causing no collateral damage. SCP-2253 retrieval completed by experimental personnel using appropriate PPE.
• Time 00:16 A single "sprinkle" cylinder is removed from SCP-2253 and placed in the box. The rest of the item is removed from Chamber A7 and placed in A8.
• Time 00:17 D-15043 consumes the "sprinkle" upon opening the box.
• Time 00:22 D-15043 has a bowel movement consisting of an intact, whole SCP-2253. The unconsumed remainder of SCP-2253 combusts spontaneously.

Note: Repetition of the above experiments with Tc99-labeled SCP-2253 confirms that each instance of partial consumption and defecation results in paradoxical reproduction of the exact same SCP-2253 in intact form, not a duplicate. Unconsumed portions of SCP-2253 combust spontaneously upon the item's regeneration. Analysis of combustion reveals that the resultant vapor contains only pure H2O. The mechanism is unknown. Despite all attempted countermeasures, spontaneous combustion has not been successfully halted to date. Attempts to prompt SCP-2253 to regenerate without requiring a human or animal to consume it have failed. Chemical analysis of SCP-2253 using high-performance liquid chromatography and mass spectrometry (performed with a sequestered piece retained for consumption and regeneration) has revealed only typical baking ingredients including sucrose, starch polymers, sodium chloride, lactose, saturated and unsaturated triglycerides, cholesterol, biotin, egg white proteins (ovalbumin, etc), sodium bicarbonate, monocalcium phosphate, and the phenolic aldehyde C8H8O3, commonly known as "vanillin."

July 22, 1991. Dr. Jeremy Fredrickson, PhD

Materials, Methods, and Results
SCP-2253, Subject D-15044, Subject D-15045.

• Time 00:00 SCP-2253 is cut in half as per prior experimental protocol.
• Time 00:01 Subjects D-15044 and D-15045 are instructed to each consume half of SCP-2253.
• Time 00:02 Consumption complete
• Time 00:07 Subject D-15044 reports abdominal cramping and need to defecate. Subject D-15045 denies symptoms.
• Time 00:09 Subject D-15044 defecates an intact, unblemished SCP2253. Subject D-15045 continues to deny symptoms.

Note: Subsequent computed tomography, as well as thorough endoscopic evaluation and clinical followup, fail to reveal any evidence of bowel injury in D-15045.

Note: Further experimentation with dividing SCP-2253 always result in a single instances of regeneration accompanied by destruction of any remainder, either by spontaneous combustion if the remainder is not consumed or by unknown mechanism of the remainder is consumed. Prediction models have failed to accurately determine which individual will experience cramping and regenerative-defecation phenomena if multiple subjects each consume a portion of SCP-2253 simultaneously. Individuals who consume any portion SCP-2253 are found to have empty stomachs and colons upon endoscopic evaluation even if that evaluation is performed within the five-minute window between consumption and defecation. Further experimentation on SCP-2253 is deferred until further notice.

Addendum 2253.4 Incident log

Event Log 002, August 4, 1991. Agent [Redacted] places SCP-2253, in its containment box, in the Site-90 Faculty lunch room. Dr. Felix Abramowitz consumes SCP-2253 and suffers typical effects. Standard containment protocol is instituted using appropriate PPE, and SCP-2253 is recovered in its box. Agent [Redacted] confesses to the purposeful placement of SCP-2253 in the lunch room after fingerprint evidence suggests he was the culprit. Agent [Redacted] terminated immediately. SCP-2253 moved to Dr. Fredrickson's office for storage.

Event log 003, April 17, 1997. Dr. Fredrickson, while moving offices, fails to notify janitorial personnel about the safety protocol surrounding SCP-2253. Ms. [Redacted] inadvertently consumes SCP-2253 and suffers typical consequences. Please see medical records dept. for documentation of treatment of Ms. [Redacted]'s resultant hemorrhoidal bleed. Dr. Fredrickson completes safety reinforcement curriculum.

Event log 004, September 30, 2000. While retrieving a book from the top shelf in his office, Dr. Fredrickson accidentally knocks SCP-2253's box off the shelf. The box opens on impact with the ground and SCP-2253 rolls out. Dr. Fredrickson, upon the usual compulsion exhibited by victims of SCP-2253, eats the item and suffers typical consequences. A white lace bow is added to the box for further security.

Event log 005, October 21, 2006. SCP-4062 escapes containment briefly and enters Dr. Fredrickson's office. SCP-4062 opens the box containing SCP-2253 and (presumably) consumes the contents. SCP-4062 suffers bowel obstruction requiring non-operative management in the Veterinary facility of Site-90. SCP-2253 is retrieved from SCP-4062 in typical fashion. SCP-2253 is then moved to storage in Site-90's anomalous materials archive.

Event log 006, May 22, 2008. As part of a facility-wide mandate that all stored edible items be housed in the Site-90 Pantry, SCP-2253 is transferred to the food services department. Mr. [Redacted], pantry manager, opens the box containing SCP-2253, closes it, and places it on shelf J-13 in the pantry refrigerator. When interviewed later about how he was able to resist the compulsion to consume SCP-2253, Mr. [Redacted] reports that he has been lactose intolerant for his entire adult life.

Event log 007, January 1, 2021. Agent [Redacted] brings SCP-2253, in its box, as a gift to the company New Years' Eve party. The box is opened in front of fifty eight attendees, resulting in seventeen consecutive repetitive instances of consumption followed by paradoxical regenerative defecation (including one unfortunate instance suffered by the fourteen-year-old daughter of a Foundation employee) before containment can be achieved again. SCP-2253 is moved on special order back to Site-90s anomalous materials archive. Agent [Redacted] undergoes disciplinary action but is reinstated to his post after committee hearing reveals he intended to share a nearly-identical cupcake in a box which he had purchased and only brought SCP-2253 to the party by mistake. As a corollary, Addendum 002 to Section 16 "Functions, celebrations, and parties" of the Foundation Employee Handbook now forbids invitation of children under the age of 18 to Foundation-sponsored recreational events.