Per 
Item Number: SCP-1337
Object Class: Safe Thaumiel
Containment Procedures: SCP-1337 is to be kept at Site-19 in a secure warehouse. Use of SCP-1337 is prohibited unless permission is granted by the O-5 council via 8-5 or higher vote. Only researchers who have completed training course "Theta - Delta Epsilon - 1337"1 are allowed to operate SCP-1337. SCP-1337 requires a power draw of 1.21Gw each operating cycle provided by 8 "Brimstone" capacitors, along with replacement 100cm x 100cm x 50cm lead plating. Information regarding the existence, specifications and capabilities of SCP-1337 is strictly required to be kept in Site-19 and restricted to level 3 and above researchers as SCP-1337's capabilities may potentially draw the interest of multiple third parties if discovered.
Description SCP-1337 is a device capable of teleporting an entity/ies anywhere in a 13 million light year2 sphere around SCP-1337 with an inaccuracy of up to 110km. The method of teleportation is currently unknown.
SCP-1337 itself comprises of a 6m x 6m x 10m titanium-alloy chamber externally lined with 50cm thick lead plating. The door to SCP-1337's chamber has a locking mechanism similar to the hatch of an Oscar class attack submarine. An air valve 16cm across with a red handle is attached to the chamber 1.5 meters up from the bottom. A vacuum pump is also attached to the chamber, and can reduce the internal pressure to 400nPA A new vacuum pump has been attached to SCP-1337 that can reduce the internal pressure to <100nPA. (See addendum 1337-U-1)
SCP-1337's terminal after successful restoration
Attached to the chamber is a terminal consistent with a Soviet era ИСКРА (English translation: Spark) 1030.11 computer. The terminal runs on an unknown and potentially anomalous operating system currently being researched and documented by Dr. ████████ Lee and Dr. ██████ P.
During operation, SCP-1337's cuboid emits radiation with a frequency higher than 350 Exahertz, or 350 x 1018 hertz. This level of radiation is lethal to humans if exposed for more than 23 seconds. As such, its lead shielding must be checked before every operating cycle. Note that the radiation doesn't affect anything inside the chamber.
Initially discovered at the ████████ Cosmodrome in 199█ by GRU Division-P operatives, SCP-1337 is rumored to be a prototype device capable of sending Soviet nuclear warheads into a sub-orbital trajectory without an easily detectible rocket launch. Being discovered in a state of disrepair, Division-P has tried and failed to fix SCP-1337. The foundation acquired it in the year 2000. Since then, it has been successfully been restored and made operational.
Document 1337-D-1
Excerpt from Theta - Delta Epsilon - 1337
SCP-1337 operating conditions:
- Door of SCP-1337's chamber must be closed (entity/ies to be teleported must fit into a 6m x 6m x 10m space)
- Power input to SCP-1337 must meet or exceed 1.21 Gw but be less than 1.25 Gw
- Co-ordinates of appropriate format entered
The above conditions are mandatory for the function of SCP-1337. There are other recommended operating conditions to be met, take them as 'safe practices' if you will.
- A vacuum must be pulled (Double the air particles in the same space means anything from a small concussive pop to nuclear fusion)
- Coordinates entered must take into account the momentum of the object relative to the cosmic microwave background (Earth moves relative to the CMB at 2.09 million km/h. Imagine the momentum it imparts on objects on it.)
- Lead plating is to be checked for hairline cracks before each operating cycle and replaced if necessary (The radiation emitted by SCP-1337 is stronger than Gamma and takes 50cm thick lead to weaken, not stop. It will fry you inside out if you're not careful)
Addendum 1337-U-1
Upgrade log
Date: 6/11/200█
A UHV rated vacuum pump has been installed next to SCP-1337 with no complications.
Addendum 1337-T-1
Log 1337-1
Date: 5/2/199█
Lead Researcher: Dr. ██████ P.
Experiment purpose: Testing the capabilities of SCP-1337
Subject: One (1) standard foundation coffee mug (empty)
[Experiment Start]
00.00 Time start
00.01 Dr. ██████ P. shuts the door of SCP-1337's chamber and locks it, subject is seen inside before the door closes. SCP-1337's air valve is closed
00.43 Dr. ██████ P. begins the startup sequence of SCP-1337. A soft buzzing sound is heard. SCP-1337's vacuum pump begins to pull a vacuum. The pump emits a soft whirr
00.52 Dr. ██████ P. enters coordinates into SCP-1337's terminal. The buzzing sound grows louder.
01.28 The buzzing sound reaches a noise level uncomfortable to humans and overshadows the sound of the vacuum pump. Dr. ██████ P. looks visibly annoyed and puts on ear protection.
05.42 The vacuum pump stops. The buzzing sound continues to increase in volume.
06.43 A loud bang is heard from SCP-1337, noise pattern similar to a balloon being popped. The buzzing sound stops
06.43 A standard foundation coffee mug materializes 5 meters north-northwest from SCP-1337's chamber, 3 meters above the ground. It falls to the ground and shatters. Dr. ██████ P. is seen standing still in surprise.
[Experiment end]
Result: Experiment successful. SCP-1337 works as intended.
Researcher notes: Holy shit it actually works!
Addendum 1337-T-2
Log 1337-2
Date: 15/2/201█
Lead Researcher: Dr. ██████ P.
Experiment purpose: Testing the range of SCP-1337
Subject: Foundation satellite Romeo-Kilo 141 (Dimensions: 4.8m x 3.5m x 7.6m)
[Experiment start]
00.00 Time starts
00.01 Dr. ██████ P. is seen with his arms crossed, standing in front of SCP-1337. Several technicians surround SCP-1337. All of them, including Dr. ██████ P. are wearing ear protection. The subject is seen being loaded into SCP-1337's chamber via a robotic crane.
04.49 The crane moves away from SCP-1337, the subject sits in SCP-1337's chamber with mere centimeters of clearance. The technicians begin to close the door slowly. The air valve is closed.
05.15 The door is locked. A technician gives Dr. ██████ P. the "OK" hand gesture.
05.16 Dr. ██████ P. begins the startup sequence of SCP-1337. The technicians back away from SCP-1337's chamber and gather around Dr. ██████ P. A soft buzzing sound is heard. SCP-1337's new vacuum pump begins to pull a vacuum. The pump emits an inaudible whine.
06.28 The buzzing sound reaches a noise level uncomfortable to humans. Dr. ██████ P. and the technicians don't notice because of their ear protection.
09.03 A loud bang is heard from SCP-1337, noise pattern similar to a balloon being popped. The buzzing sound stops
09.05 Technician 1: "So, uhh, is it done doing its thing?"
09.08 Dr. ██████ P. : "Yep, it should be. Yo [REDACTED], where's the satellite now?"
09.12 Technician 2: "I dunno what to say doc, GPS coordinates put it above Chelyabinsk, in atmosphere."
09.18 Technician 1: "The fuck? Must be a faulty GPS unit then, did we damage it while loading it in?"
09.22 Dr. ██████ P. :"Didn't see anything go wrong from here."
09.24 Technician 3: "Me neither."
09.25 Technician 4 : "Same here"
09.27 Dr. ██████ P. and the technicians discuss possible scenarios. All of them look visibly confused.
[Experiment end]
Result: Foundation Satellite Romeo-Kilo 141 burns up in atmosphere above Chelyabinsk, Russian Federation. Foundation releases cover-story of meteor strike to the Russian press. Experiment Failed
Researcher Notes: Oh for FUCK'S SAKE! WHY IS THIS SHIT SO COMPLICATED! I either fucked up the coordinates or the coordinate system is way more sophisticated. What kinda commie soviet magical dogshit did they come up with? I think I need help with this. O-5 is not gonna be happy…
