h - SCP Sandbox III

This sandbox is for incomplete drafts. If you're looking for actual reading material, check out CWW.

CWW's Proposal is also in the draft stage.

Non-anomalous recreation of SCP-??? using stock imagery.

Item #: SCP-???

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: A copy of SCP-??? is available to authorized personnel via the Anomalous Digital Image Reference Database. Any copies that exist outside of containment should be deleted.

Description: SCP-??? is a line drawing of a human figure carrying a briefcase, captioned with the following text:

I'm on my way to find the funny.

It has been a long and fruitless journey.

You may walk with me for a while, if you wish. I would enjoy the company.

Whenever an individual looks at SCP-??? and states an interest in walking with the humanoid figure (hereby SCP-???-A), they will enter a trance state, remaining motionless and failing to react to external stimuli for a variable amount of time. During this state, their body does not require any form of sustenance.

Subjects report that, during this trance, they perceive themselves in a space with the visual characteristics of a minimalist line drawing. This space consists of a flat, empty desert with a mountain range on the horizon. They will be walking alongside SCP-???-A, who will treat the subject courteously, but will not initiate conversation. Subjects report a reluctance to converse with SCP-???-A unnecessarily.

Subjects are apparently capable of walking with SCP-???-A indefinitely, during which time the landscape does not change. They will exit the trance state if they choose to stop walking with SCP-???-A or if they impede its progress.

Addendum: Interview with SCP-???-A

After interaction with SCP-??? was confirmed to be safe, Dr. Wiles entered a trance state to converse with SCP-???-A. Upon awakening eight hours later, Dr. Wiles was able to transcribe the encounter.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Wiles appears in a black-and-white desert, already walking alongside SCP-???-A. No sound is present, save for the crunch of gravel underfoot.

Wiles: Uh, hello.

???-A: Hey there.

Dr. Wiles and SCP-???-A walk in silence for several minutes.

Wiles: Can I ask you some questions?

???-A: Sure.

Wiles: Who made you?

???-A: I don't know.

Dr. Wiles and SCP-???-A walk in silence for several minutes.

Wiles: What is "the funny"?

???-A: I'll let you know when I've found it.

Wiles: I mean, the text that… came with you, do you know what that's about?

???-A: Someone made a bad joke, and someone else sent me to find out why it's funny.

Wiles: Hm. I see.

Dr. Wiles and SCP-???-A walk in silence for about half an hour.

Wiles: Do you know what the joke was?

???-A:

If not for its contents, Andressa Santos's bedroom could be mistaken for a dungeon — stone walls, a dirt floor, no overhead lights, no windows, and cold musty air. It had been a storage room until, in a fit of teenage gothery, Andressa unilaterally claimed it as her living space. Eight years of uninterrupted surrender to the forces of entropy had made important items and miscellany equally scarce.

Andressa was draped across her bed, sound asleep, when her bedside lamp was switched on. She reflexively waved a hand between her and the light shining in her face. "What the fuck," she groaned, rubbing her eyes more dramatically than anyone waking up at noon had a right to. "House on fire?"

"Afraid not." Andressa's mother leaned into the room, a bead curtain clattering as it fell around her head. "There's a police officer here to see you. I told him you weren't home, but your bike's still out front, so he's not buying it."

Andressa sat up groggily, squinting at the wall across from her while her brain sorted dream from reality. Her long-distance girlfriend: real. Maoist speed dating — not real. Still living with her mom: real. Playing hopscotch at an Italian restaurant: not real. Gamers Against Weed: real. Okay. "Gimme a minute to like… get ready or whatever. Don't consent to any searches. If he asks you anything, tell him you —"

"— tell him I won't speak without a lawyer present," Andressa's mother interrupted. She grinned at her adult daughter. "This isn't my first time dealing with the cops, honey. Just don't fall back asleep, okay?" She ducked back out of the bedroom; Andressa could hear her retreat back to the den and switch the stereo on. Ozzy Osbourne's wailing vocals echoed through the house as the nocturnal college student dragged herself out of bed.

Andressa steamed to herself as she rummaged around her bedroom for a pair of shorts, tossing detritus to and fro. "The fucking nerve," she said to no-one in particular, "the absolute fucking nerve of this pig." She pulled open dresser drawers at random — a soldering kit, pieces of circuit boards, two empty energy drink cans, back issues of Nintendo Power, a dusty ship in a bottle, a dozen dismembered LEGO guys, and six different pairs of cheap earbuds. "Showing up at my house." She ducked down to look under her bed — two guitars, zero pairs of shorts. "Unbelievable."

Giving up after a strenuous 45-second search, Andressa swiped away a pile of used graph paper to reveal a bath towel, which she hastily wrapped around her waist. "I was not put on this planet to be hassled by some thumb-looking donut boy." Holding the towel in place while she grabbed a TV remote from her bedside table, she stormed out of her room, stomped down the front hall, and kicked open the front door.

The midday New Mexico sun stung Andressa's already dry eyes, forcing her to squint at the tan, cop-shaped blob on her front porch. "If you woke me up for some bullshit, there's gonna be a fucking problem!" She pointed the remote control at it threateningly.

The blob, which was quickly resolving itself into a human figure, raised a hand diplomatically while it stuttered in bewilderment. Andressa had some idea what impression she was making, and while she was not sympathetic to the officer's plight whatsoever, she understood this reaction perfectly. "Make it quick, piggy."

Said officer, who could only be described as large, armed, and sunburnt, stepped back away from his target. "Hey, take it easy, I just wanna talk, alright? You're not in any sorta trouble."

Andressa didn't waver. While her stature prevented her from striking an imposing figure, the sheer derision in her expression made up the difference. "So talk."

"The — uh." The cop smiled nervously. "We've been trying to contact an acquaintance of yours. Think he might be the witness to a crime, but he's a hard man to get in touch with. The name 'Jude Kriyot' ring a bell?"

Andressa took a second to respond. "So you're obviously not a cop." But who was he, then? Jude could have caught the ire of some magic internet nazis, but they would know him as 'bluntfiend' — Andressa had personally wiped his name from public records. It could be one of the freaks from AWCY? or Wondertainment, but those guys all had thoroughly different vibes than this one. The Janitors, she imagined, wouldn't send just one guy.

Thinking about this sort of thing really was Andressa's strong suit, but only when she had gotten a full afternoon's sleep. Time for Plan B. "Who do you work for, bitch boy?"

The 'officer' blinked, and his expression flattened. When he spoke, his voice came out much calmer than before. "That's none of your concern." Under his breath, he muttered "… stupid cover story anyways."

Andressa visibly tensed up at the interloper's jarring change of disposition; a distant genetic memory tried to raise her hackles, but could only give her goosebumps. "In that case, you're done here. And if you try anything funny, you'll regret it."

"Wasn't planning on it." The not-an-officer took a step forward, Andressa's remote mere inches from his face. "Your mama really ought to be more careful, y'know? I can smell the weed smoke from over here." He gestured to the house and its distinctive odor. "I'm sure the local cops would love a chance to hassle an old hippie, but if you were to cooperate…" He allowed the implication to dangle.

"Hm." Andressa weighed her options carefully for a few seconds, then discarded her analysis in favor of spitting up at the interloper's face. Her saliva impacted his right eye dead-on, provoking a reflexive cringe and a stumble backwards. She immediately realized this was unwise, but the satisfaction of picking a fight with an authority figure was impossible to pass up.

Item #: SCP-???

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: Backup copies of SCP-??? are kept in Site-112's media archive for study. While no recordings of SCP-??? are believed to remain outside of containment,

Description: SCP-??? is Tasukete! Gomi o tomerarenai! (lit. "Help! I Can't Stop Eating Garbage!"), a six-episode animated miniseries created by Dulcet Tone Productions.¹ The plot follows a trio of high school students who share a compulsion to eat discarded objects and substances they encounter.

SCP-???'s contents vary between viewings depending on the conditions within 13.3 meters of the device playing it. Specifically, the items eaten by the three main characters, as well as objects they attempt to eat, will be identical to the real-world equivalents within this radius. This comprises discarded items, various kinds of dirt, and other forms of detritus. When an object is swallowed by a character in SCP-???, its real-world counterpart will abruptly disappear.

Characters within SCP-??? will interact realistically with their surroundings, adapting their behavior to the exact nature of the materials that are copied from the real world. While SCP-??? has a 'default' plot progression that occurs in most cases, the addition of unusual materials to a viewing environment may cause significant plot divergence.

SCP-??? can only be played in order, starting with the first episode; if the device being used has not shown the entire series up to the current scene, SCP-??? will only contain static until this is rectified. Likewise, changing SCP-???'s speed or skipping to a different point in time (either within or between episodes) will render it unwatchable until it is returned to the appropriate point.

Addendum: SCP-??? baseline test

For testing purposes, Junior Researcher Alice Grimes was permitted to bring a copy of SCP-??? home for viewing, with the intent of recording SCP-???'s contents in a "natural" viewing environment. JR Grimes was chosen as she lives alone in a remote area, and her house contains (per her own testimony) an above-average concentration of litter.

For the test, JR Grimes made an inventory of all the dirt and detritus in her residence, watched one episode of SCP-???, and then made note of any changes to said inventory, as well as her own observations. This process was repeated until SCP-??? was complete.

Episode # and Title	Description	Notes
Episode 1, "The Trash Club"	The episode begins with an average high-school student named "Brownie" going about his morning routine while supervised by his harsh older sister, who serves as his caretaker.² Brownie spends a considerable amount of time in the bathroom due to intestinal distress; when questioned by his sister, he claims he fell asleep on the toilet. After Brownie departs for school, he sneaks into a neighbor's backyard to frantically eat dryer lint from a vent. Despite his caution, he is spotted by "Silk", a high-achieving male classmate two years his senior, from the next yard over. Brownie flees. On the way, he runs into "Hobbes", a female classmate on whom he has a crush. The impact knocks them over, spilling various books and school supplies. He goes to help her pick them up, but after staring intensely at an eraser for several seconds, he abruptly flees. Once he arrives at school, Brownie goes through his day attempting to keep up appearances while covertly consuming objects such as candy wrappers, loose pen caps, and dust. On several occasions, he executes complicated maneuvers to avoid contact with Silk or Hobbes. At the end of the day, he attempts to take an alternate route home, only to finally be caught by Silk. Without speaking, Silk picks a scrap of fabric off the ground and swallows it. As they walk to the school's basement, Brownie explains that he began eating garbage following the departure of his parents, and is unable to covertly seek medical attention due to his sister's vigilance; Silk listens impassively. Silk opens an unmarked door, revealing a barren room containing only a table and two chairs. Hobbes is at the table eating pencil shavings; Brownie and Hobbes express mutual shock and embarrassment at the other's presence. Silk laughs and, speaking for the first time, welcomes Brownie to the "Trash Club".	It's engaging, in the way a couple having a shouting match on public transit is engaging. I feel like I'm intruding on them, and it's not just because of all the uncomfortable close-ups of their mouths. The pacing seems off for reasons I can't explain, and the sound design is unpleasantly realistic. Still, I've seen weirder. The vent on my laundry machine was spotless afterwards, all of my leftover candy wrappers were gone, my pencil sharpener's drawer was empty, and so on. I'm seeing a one-to-one correlation between things eaten on-screen and things that disappear in real life, which is to be expected. I was surprised at how faithfully SCP-??? recreated the fabric scrap — it was from a dress I was working on, and the pattern isn't exactly common.
Episode 2, "Don't Slip Up"	While walking to school the day after the previous episode, Brownie encounters Hobbes again; they silently agree to accompany each other the rest of the way. They make very little conversation, though at several points they pause for one or both of them to eat stray bits of dirt from the road. They argue briefly about who should keep a disposable cup they encounter, ultimately agreeing to tear it in half and share. They consume it together in the alley behind a convenience store. Brownie attempts to join Hobbes for lunch, but she declines his offer, instead choosing to go with her friends. Silk waves Brownie over; Brownie joins him. Brownie attempts to strike up mundane conversation a few times, but Silk does not engage, instead writing an essay while he eats. Somewhat dejected, Brownie finishes his meal and returns to class. However, he soon discovers a scrap of paper in his pocket, which contains a phone number. He memorizes the number, and then eats the paper. After school, Brownie, Silk, and Hobbes meet in the basement room. Hobbes explains that	// //
Episode 3, " "		// //
Episode 4, " "		// //
Episode 5, " "		// //
Episode 6, " "		// //

SCP-076 - "Able": A Reintroduction

Item #: [SCP-076](http://scp-wiki.net/scp-076)

Author: DrClef, Kain Pathos Crow

In my experience, it's easy to get an idea of an article in your head that doesn't match up with the reality, especially one with a reputation and such a wealth of surrounding material to its name. Once you've been reading SCPs for a few years, it's common to go back and realize that the article you adore isn't really up to snuff, or the entry you dismissed a few years ago is actually kind of cool. Your tastes change, you learn about writing, you grow as a person, or your recollection simply fades over the years.

With that in mind, I ask: When's the last time you read SCP-076?

Foreword:

SCP-076 got its most recent major update in late 2010, when DrClef made some large edits to Kain Pathos Crow's original article. I happened to originally join the site around then, so I can't really speak to what it was like before then, or what was done with it. So for purposes of this article, I'll only examine it in its present form. Likewise, there have been dozens of tales and articles that include and interpret Able in some fashion, and I can't reasonably review or even read all of them, so I will only look at SCP-076's main article and its official supplements.

I like SCP-076, for reasons I will get into. I understand that this is a popular opinion in the fanbase at large, but not on Reddit or among established SCP authors. I don't feel the need to *change* that, but I do think every article deserves to have someone speak honestly and insightfully about its merits and faults.

Without further ado, let's begin.

Part 1: The Setup

SCP-076 does not start off with its Item #, Object Class, and Containment Procedures; rather, it begins with a message from an unspecified doctor to the head of RAISA. This wasn't standard for most SCP articles, and back in 2010 it was downright strange. But it's an effective framing device that quite bluntly tells us how to understand this article: The Foundation had a project called Omega-Seven, involving SCP-076, that ended catastrophically; now, they want to pretend it didn't happen. As we read the rest of the article, we're primed to look for signs of how this could all go wrong.

There's nothing especially memorable or original about the actual text here — it could come out of any airport novel, really. But I would assert that it does its job well enough.

With that out of the way, we get into the Special Containment Procedures. These describe an absurdly well-protected facility; the details are not terribly important, but the point is obvious: the Foundation desperately needs to keep something *in*, and they're willing to kill the staff living on-site to do it.

Here, actually, is where I find the article's first two real missteps. The first is in the bulleted list describing Containment Area 25b's components, where I would suggest exchanging the final two bullet points. The list guides us in from the outside, past the security perimeter, through the support area, and into the primary containment zone… then goes *back out* to describe the killing corridor. Moving backwards like that keeps this from being as effective an escalation as it could be.

The second misstep is the amount of Capitalized Jargon in here. By my count, we have Containment Area 25b, the Outer Security Perimeter, the Administrative and Support Area (ASA), the Primary Containment Zone (PCZ), the "killing corridor" (weirdly, this gets a "quoted moniker" instead of a Proper Name), a CIW system on a pintle mount, Alert Condition One, a Stand Down order, and Final Contingency Measures. That is entirely too many formal things to mention there; in more recent times, authors have moved away from this degree of security theater, and I think 076 could benefit from that as well.

Part 2: The Description

The Description begins with a fairly brief account of Able's companion cube, which paints the image of an ancient prison for a very dangerous person — albeit one that cannot be sealed. A coffin held up by chains in the dead center of a frozen room is pretty cool, I'd say.

Then we have the main course: Able. We get a fairly in-depth overview of his appearance, of the sort that newer SCPs rarely provide. He basically looks like a strong guy with lots of cool tattoos. They're occult and arcane tattoos, which doesn't square with the idea that he's just the guy from the bible, and opens the door for other backstory headcanons ('Daevite warrior' being among them).

This is where we get the first fuel for the Able-as-Mary-Sue take, which for the record, I think is totally understandable. A detailed physical description of a cool guy is basically an open invitation for readers to self-insert, which goes against a lot of the since-established tone of the wiki. SCPs are allowed to make their readers feel many things these days, but "God I wish that were me" is still a big turn-off for most readers. The self-insertion angle isn't strictly bad, though — there's an interpretation of 076 that I'll get to later in which it's important.

The next paragraph goes into detail about the exact manner in which 076 comes back to life, gets big mad, and tries to kill everyone until he dies. A lot of older SCPs took a much more 'mechanical' approach to how sentient anomalies worked — when X happens, the guy does Y; if Y succeeds, he enters a Z state, and so on. Normally, I think this sort of thing is extraneous, but here I think it does some good by dehumanizing Able somewhat. This sets up a complication later in the story (wherein, spoilers, it's revealed he's actually a person — kinda?) and balances out the previous paragraph.

As for the actual content (RE: he just wants to kill for God's sake), this often gets interpreted as a power fantasy aimed at young men on the internet. That's not wrong, honestly, but I wouldn't consider it disqualifying in its own right. I would have described myself as a 'young man' not too long ago, so you can take that sentiment with a grain of salt, but I just can't get too worked up about whether something caters to a power fantasy.

Next, the article provides some detail on how strong, fast, and tough Able is. Rather than get into specific measurements, it provides a list of feats that he's achieved, as well as a list of ways that they've managed to kill him. I prefer this to saying "Able can reach X meters per second, exert Y Newtons of force, and withstand Z Newtons of force" — it gives you a better idea of what he's capable of, and it makes sense that they wouldn't be measuring this stuff exactly.

It spends the most text on how he can materialize bladed weapons made out of the void at will, which is — for lack of a better word — "anime" to the point of parody. I couldn't tell you how firmly Kain Pathos Crow had his tongue lodged in his cheek while writing this, but I can tell you that it's a convenient way of ensuring that Able's always armed, and provides him with a badly needed "signature" ability. If you're familiar with superhero-inspired media, you'll know that special powers can be a great way to characterize someone and make them memorable. Able isn't just some strong guy, he's the guy with shadow swords. I do wonder why he was bothering to "swat […] bullets out of the air with a length of steel rebar" if he can just use one of his unlimited swords. Minor nitpick, but I had to point it out.

Anyways, the other important part of this segment is how they had to nuke the facility to stop Able once. I don't think this quite makes sense in-universe — no matter how deadly he is, he's just one guy; it would be easier to try shooting him again once they can send in reinforcements, rather than lose a facility and everyone in it. But this section's real purpose is to emphasize the absolute threat that Able can pose, and it certainly does that.

Once Able dies, his body decays, his coffin slams shut, and he spends some time regenerating in there before busting out again. Also, from what they can gather, his guts are really weird — lending credence to the idea that he's not really human. There is a silly [DATA EXPUNGED] here, which is kind of an occupational hazard of working with Series One articles. It's worse than just naming a non-existent supplement or appendix or whatever, but honestly not by a whole lot.

Part 3: The Additional

"Additional" is a non-standard synonym for 'addendum'. Sure. Anyways, this section talks about 076's history. Nothing very interesting or consequential happens here, except to say that they found the AbleCube in Mongolia, so I'll gloss over the details. There are a lot of blacked-out bits in this for no obvious reason, which I think is a huge missed opportunity in one case — suppose that the "███████ Society" had been named; the odds that people would have ran with it and used them in other articles is pretty high. This is all kind of weird to hide anyways, since the main article has been pretty light on the redactions thus far.

There's one bit in the section about 076's time in the Foundation that does interest me: namely, that a lot of Able's containment breaches were the result of attacks on the Foundation from other organizations. I don't know what everyone else's headcanons are, but I don't think it's common to see the Foundation as under frequent military assault from the outside; this is a noticeable relic of the time the article was written. It's certainly a window into a time when people were still figuring out what they wanted the Foundation to be like.

Then we get this.

The Foundation's death toll due to this was [DATA EXPUNGED]

[DATA EXPUNGED]

[DATA EXPUNGED]

Laaaaaaame. The article hasn't done a bad job of building up Able, but it has not done such a good job that it can just drop some expunged data so blatantly in here and elicit a shiver. That's something you earn after an article's worth of supremely fucked up stuff, not an article's worth of a magic spree killer. I'm of the opinion that skillfully-executed expungement can add a lot to an article, but this is not an example of that.

This is the end of the page "SCP-076". On a supplementary page, we're going to get to the stuff we were promised at the beginning: Omega-7.

Part 4: The CLASSIFIED - EYES ONLY

Okay, first, we get a splash page with a security warning. Nowadays, people use a collapsible for this instead of a separate page. It also has some old terminology, like the "-" in "O-5". Let's move on.

Part 5: The Profile

Okay, *first*, we get to look at Able's psych profile. Psychology isn't my field of study, but I know enough to say that this is all pop psychology. It will fall apart if you look at it through the lens of, like, actual science. So in the interest of having anything to say, we'll look at it as a storytelling tool.

The psych profile starts off by characterizing Able as someone who does not care about or for humans at all, except as things that exist for him to kill. It's not even that he *hates* them — if he did, then causing pain would be enjoyable, which it isn't. He doesn't give a shit about sex, love, or gender (it would be cool if fanartists got this message). He doesn't really respond well to intelligence tests, but clearly knows a lot of things that are useful for being very violent. He — say it with me now — just wants to kill for God's sake.

Of note here are two details — Able's preferred language is ancient Sumerian, and he knows how to take care of livestock. These are the big details tying him to the biblical Abel, who was a herder (before getting BTFO'd by Cain) and would have lived near the Garden of Eden; since Sumer is one of the first known civilizations, and that region in general is one of the commonly proposed locations of the Garden, that's probably the implication here.

And now, we come across the first big twist: Able has some respect for people who best him, to the point of losing interest when they stop showing up to fight him. This directly contradicts the above, where he's stated to be a "perfect sociopath". He was also stated earlier to have no concept of 'equality', but now we know for sure that he cares when someone is above or below him — either that was referring to some sort of *innate* or *deserved* equality, or he simply has a blind spot when it comes to the idea of someone being *on par* with him.

This inconsistency is part of the driving tension of this article: is Able a person or not? Is he an automaton that goes into trances and rage states, or is he enjoying a good fight? Is he a sociopathic killing machine, or a proud warrior? Is he a warrior, or a sheep farmer? If there is humanity in him, can it be brought to the fore, or is it locked under a layer of violence?

Lest I be accused of wringing blood from a stone, I will note that this is not an original or uncommon character trait to have. TVTropes even has names for it — [Worthy Opponent](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WorthyOpponent) and [Defeat Means Respect](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DefeatMeansRespect). The former even specifically lists this interview in its entry on SCP-076. The part that's actually *interesting* is how the Foundation attempts to exploit this personality type to their advantage.

Sidebar: This brings us to our first Cool Able Interpretive Narrative, or C.A.I.N. for short. This isn't one I came up with myself — it's been in the aether for a while now — but I do need to bring it up here. The premise is that *Able is the player character in a video game*, and it explains a lot of what goes on in the main article and the Psych Profile.

Imagine this: You sit down to play your favorite game and your character, this really cool-looking dude named Able, wakes up at the respawn point. You wish you could be this guy and do what he does, and in the video game world, you can be. Able goes through the motions that come with starting the game — getting out of the cube and finding enemies to fight — on autopilot, since you just want to get to the fun bit; or perhaps it's entirely a cutscene, and you only takes control once Able sees an enemy.

Your goal, of course, is to kill all the enemies, because it's just that kind of game. The game has options for dialogue, metallurgy, and animal husbandry (you only put points in that on a lark), but why bother with that when there's killing to be done? Just grab a cool sword from within Able's arbitrarily large inventory and go to town. Able doesn't really stop fighting when he gets hurt, because he still has hitpoints left — once he hits zero, though, he dies, and his corpse disappears. He only comes back to life the next time you decide to boot up the game.

Then one day, the strongest enemy in the game doesn't show up. You're getting a bit farther now, but it's not very fun. You decide to dust off the dialogue options and ask what happened to him, and you're eventually told that he got killed offscreen. This, you decide, is bullshit, and you don't even try to rack up any more kills.

Good literary analysis is more than just drawing parallels, though, so I will instead ask: what does this interpretation bring to the article? Well, the idea of the Foundation containing a Player Character, and thus becoming its "gameplay", is really interesting to me. In this frame, it becomes a story of a game's NPCs deciding to break out of their rut and

Item #: SCP-???

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: D-Class personnel with qualifications related to filmmaking are to be assigned to Special Task Force ???, which is tasked with the production of films. Any films for which the subject received credit are to be excised from all records, and any individual who worked with the subject must be amnesticized accordingly.

Films made by STF ??? may be of any nature, so long as they exceed thirty minutes in length and have no contributions whatsoever from personnel outside the working group. Each member of STF ??? is required to write, direct, or act in at least five distinct films per month.

Comprehensive filmographies are to be compiled for each personnel, and checked regularly to ensure that SCP-???'s target is a member of STF ???. In the event that SCP-??? targets any other individual, its victim is to be inducted into D-Class and assigned to STF ???.

Description: SCP-??? is a hostile, predatory filmography. It contains seven feature-length films, designated SCP-???-A through -G. SCP-??? is capable of attacking any individual who is credited as writing, directing or acting in at least two films.

SCP-??? attacks its victims in the following manner:

SCP-??? destroys the victim's pre-existing filmography. Their roles will be filled by other individuals, or (if the role is inconsequential) left unfilled entirely. In cases where the victim's role in a film cannot be replicated, said film may be destroyed entirely. This takes roughly two days per film.
SCP-??? becomes the victim's filmography. SCP-???-A through -G will have certain roles (see below) replaced by the victim, with the films themselves changing to accommodate the victim's proclivities. This takes fourteen days.
SCP-??? will manifest physically (see description of SCP-???-G) in the victim's vicinity, remaining incorporeal to other humans. It will verbally berate the subject for its creative and career choices, intermittently expelling large quantities of caustic fluids onto and into the subject.
Upon finishing the previous step, SCP-??? will abruptly succumb to the causticity of the aforementioned fluids, rapidly dissolving.
Ten to fifteen days later, SCP-??? will select a new target from among the victim's susceptible colleagues. It appears to prefer targets who are dissatisfied with their body of work in some fashion.

SCP-??? affects all extant copies of the films in question, as well as any documentation pertaining to them. It can also affect human memories, albeit only at a level sufficient to cause moderate confusion.

Addendum: SCP-??? catalog

The actual films comprising SCP-??? present no anomalous properties apart from their variability and may be described or watched without issue. Summaries are presented below.

Designation: SCP-???-A

Title:

Genre:

Victim's Role:

Description:

Notes:

Designation: SCP-???-B

Title:

Genre:

Victim's Role:

Description:

Notes:

Designation: SCP-???-C

Title:

Genre:

Victim's Role:

Description:

Notes:

Designation: SCP-???-D

Title: The Misters Project

Genre: Action, fantasy

Victim's Role: Producer

Description: A film aimed at teens and young adults, incorporating many elements of modern internet culture. In the film, a group of disillusioned youths, seeking to overthrow the corrupt "Wonderful Entertainment" (a thinly veiled parody of the Walt Disney Company), create a series of magical humanoid automatons with unique abilities. They use these automatons, designated 'Misters', to sabotage Wonderful's operations and disrupt their positive public image.

The team soon discovers that Wonderful is creating its own Misters, with the goal of achieving world domination. After an extended action sequence at Wonderful's headquarters, they manage to trap the CEO in a never-ending loop where he is repeatedly killed by his own worst fears.

Notes: While the film was only a modest financial and critical success, it spawned a successful multimedia franchise. The victim had little involvement with these later movies, which departed greatly in tone and plot from SCP-???-D.

SCP-???-D was accused of plagiarizing characters, plot elements, and other concepts from the Jojo's Bizarre Adventure franchise; a lawsuit from Lucky Land Communications on the matter was settled out of court for an undisclosed amount.

Designation: SCP-???-E

Title: Feedback

Genre: Documentary

Victim's Role:

Description:

Notes:

Designation: SCP-???-F

Title: Operation Health

Genre: Horror

Victim's Role: Writer

Description: A film focusing on the mental breakdown and eventual murderous insanity of a small-town physician. After experiencing horrific visions of a global pandemic, the protagonist decides that all forms of sickness must be eradicated, and begins kidnapping their patients to perform medical experiments on them.

As the protagonist loses touch with reality, their experiments become more bizarre and their kidnappings more brazen, until they are eventually captured by the police. They abruptly escape police custody and jump into a vat of acid, dying graphically.

Notes: The details of SCP-???-F's plot and characters vary greatly between writers, incorporating elements of the victim's belief system and medical history. While audiences generally review SCP-???-F favorably, critics often express disinterest in the characters and confusion at the seemingly non-sequitur ending.

Designation: SCP-???-G

Title: The Oeuvre

Genre: Horror

Victim's Role: Writer, director, co-star

Description: A metafictional piece starring SCP-??? itself (voiced by Jeff Goldblum) in the titular role, ostensibly depicting its origin story. The plot follows the victim (playing themselves) through their film career, which entails the creation of SCP-???-A through -G. Narration from SCP-??? indicates that it was self-aware since its inception, but entirely lacking in agency.

As the victim's career continues, SCP-??? suffers unintentional abuse at the hands of its victim, who produces popular, but deeply flawed work which SCP-??? involuntarily assimilates. Eventually, the depressed and unsatisfied victim devises and creates SCP-???-G as a form of self-deprecation, unaware that the events therein will actually happen to them.

Animated by the shared self-loathing of SCP-??? and its victim, SCP-??? manifests physically as the victim's greatest fear. It then performs a murder-suicide by transforming its harsh criticisms of itself into a caustic fluid, resulting in the graphic death of both subjects.

Note: Reviews of SCP-???-G are overwhelmingly positive.

Clay doll created in the course of SCP-???.

Item #: SCP-???

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Individuals who have administered or taken SCP-??? should be interviewed, then amnesticized to remove all memories of the event(s). Any person who has administered SCP-??? may not be allowed to work in any profession related to mental health or psychology. All documentation that refers to SCP-??? should be confiscated and cataloged.

While standard channels theoretically provide the Foundation access to the complete files of all licensed mental health professionals, records that explicitly mention SCP-??? are often kept unofficially or in an obtuse fashion. Thus, official files should be examined for irregularities, omissions, and euphemistic language that could indicate SCP-???'s involvement.

Common signs that SCP-??? is being conducted in a given setting include:

Above-average rates of post-traumatic stress, suicide, and self-reported illness.
Below-average rates of violent interpersonal conflict.
Unexplained noises and/or camera malfunctions.
The presence of clay, especially clay dolls.

Correctional facilities are especially likely to conduct SCP-???; the presence of any of these phenomena in a penitentiary is sufficient cause for investigation.

Due to the events of Incident ???-IA-07, security protocols and personnel selection for SCP-???'s research team are being reevaluated. Until the investigation is concluded, no study of SCP-??? is to be conducted.

Description: SCP-??? is a psychological test called the "Clay Doll Test". No existing sources describe how SCP-??? is conducted, how the results are interpreted, or what it is intended to measure. At time of writing, only licensed mental health professionals have been known to conduct SCP-???.

Evidence suggests that SCP-??? is mostly conducted in prisons, though it has also been conducted in psychiatric hospitals, schools, and Foundation custody. Numerous test subjects and proctors have been located, but are unable or unwilling to convey useful information about SCP-???. SCP-??? has not yet been observed or recorded by third parties.

SCP-??? is known to entail (at least in part) the construction of one or more clay dolls by both the proctor and test subject. These dolls vary greatly in size, craftsmanship, completeness, resemblance to real humans, and accessories. While non-anomalous, the dolls are often described by observers as mildly unsettling.

Clay doll created by Dr. Morgan Roach during SCP-???. Appears to be kiln-fired, despite the absence of a kiln at ███████ State Penitentiary.

The test's subjects experience a variety of detrimental mental effects during and after taking SCP-???. Subjects will almost universally develop hypochondria, post-traumatic stress disorder, and suicidal ideation. Commonly, they will become highly averse to eyes, clay, open spaces, conflict, and/or sharp objects.

Numerous anomalies surrounding the circumstances and results of SCP-??? have been noted; see attached documentation for details.

Addendum: The following documentation was recovered from the office of Dr. Morgan Roach, a psychologist stationed at ███████ State Penitentiary from 2008 to 2013. Of note is that all recommendations provided by Dr. Roach were ultimately enacted by prison officials, often in violation of established protocol.

Name: ████ ████████
Crime: Resisting arrest
Behavior: Uncooperative
Clay doll test results: Disappointing, but unsurprising
Recommendation: Solitary confinement

Name: ███ ████
Crime: Assault
Behavior: Distraught
Clay doll test results: Incomplete
Recommendation: N/A, suicide during test

Name: ██████████ ████████
Crime: Marijuana possession
Behavior: Docile
Clay doll test results: Extremely disturbing
Recommendation: Commitment to psychiatric hospital

Name: ████ ██████████
Crime: Car theft
Behavior: Congenial
Clay doll test results: Danger to self & others
Recommendation: Full-body restraint

Name: ████ ██████████
Crime: Prostitution
Behavior: Aggravating
Clay doll test results: Defamatory
Recommendation: Additional visits until behavior improves

Name: ████████ ██
Crime: Vandalism
Behavior: Disrespectful
Clay doll test results: Incomprehensible (strange dolls)
Recommendation: Drugs (any)

Name: ██████ ████
Crime: Cocaine possession
Behavior: Compulsive
Clay doll test results: Internal
Recommendation: Surgical extraction of [REDACTED]

Interviewer: Dr. Gretchen Swalwell, SCP-??? research lead, Clearance 5/???

Interviewee: Dr. Martin White, Site-50 on-site psychologist, Clearance 3/???

Foreword: This interview was conducted after evidence was found that Dr. White had been routinely conducting SCP-??? in secret on D-Class personnel at Site-50 for at least four years. Of note is that Dr. White was a member of SCP-???'s research team since his transfer to Site-50.

<Begin Log>

Swalwell: How are you doing, Martin?

Dr. White is unresponsive, staring at the table.

Swalwell: Can I ask why you did this?

Dr. White is unresponsive.

Swalwell: Please try to work with me here, Dr. White.

Dr. White is unresponsive.

Swalwell: How do you conduct the clay doll test?

Dr. White is unresponsive.

Swalwell: Do you know how to conduct the test?

Dr. White is unresponsive.

Swalwell: Did something make you do it?

Dr. White looks at Dr. Swalwell.

White: I chose to do it.

Swalwell: Oh?

White: I would do it again, too.

Swalwell: Now we're getting somewhere. Was it fun?

White: Fuck you.

Swalwell: Hey, I've never done the test. You're the expert here. Does playing with dolls get you off?

White: It's a legitimate psychological examination!

Swalwell: I haven't seen any literature supporting it. It's probably fake.

White: It's not about the literature, Gretchen. It's about gathering information!

Swalwell: About what?

White: The D-Class. They're dangerous criminals. You think they keep themselves in line? Do you — it takes expertise to control these people, Gretchen. The clay doll test teaches us how to control people.

Swalwell: I don't think it's taught you shit.

White: Has a D-Class ever refused your orders? Ever made a pass at you? Looked at you funny? No, of course they haven't, because the Foundation puts them in their place.

Dr. White slams his fist on the table.

White: I put them in their place!

Swalwell: You've never made eye contact with me before today. You couldn't put a child in its place.

White: You'd be surprised what a doctor can do to their patient.

Swalwell: I have a decade of experience on you. I think I would know what I'm capable of.

White: Oh yeah? How about a demonstration?

Swalwell: Oh?

White: We can do the clay doll test right now. You and me.

Swalwell: You think I'm stupid? There's no way you're doing anything to me.

White: Jesus, Gretchen, that's not how this goes. You do the test on me.

Swalwell: What?

White: You're my boss. I'm being interrogated. You're the superior psychologist, supposedly. If that's what it takes for you to see the test's possibilities, I'll do it. Examine me.

Dr. Swalwell is unresponsive.

White: Aren't you curious? About me, about the clay doll test? About yourself? There's so much to learn, doctor, and I think you know exactly how to find out.

Silence for sixteen seconds.

Swalwell: We don't have any clay.

White: That shouldn't be a problem.

Silence for nine seconds.

Swalwell: Right.

Dr. Swalwell reaches behind her left ear. The video feed in the interrogation chamber cuts out; audio remains functional. There is a peeling sound of indeterminate nature. Shortly thereafter, a wet object impacts the table.

The audio feed cuts out.

<End Log>

Item #: SCP-???

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-???'s stakeholder group shares responsibility for all decisions and documentation pertaining to SCP-???. A member of the Foundation's legal team (currently Blaine Fudge, Esq.) serves as the Foundation's representative to the stakeholder group. See Addendum C for a list of decisions that pertain to SCP-???.

SCP-??? is currently located in an armored truck that continuously travels between DA BANK LOL's Los Angeles vault and Site-47. The truck does not stop more than is necessary (such as for refueling, attending to the drivers' physical needs, and changing drivers), nor does it stop at either location.

Description: SCP-??? is a collection of one hundred 1.000kg ingots composed of 999.9 fine gold. While it appears to be physically mundane, SCP-??? is a powerful sociohazard. Specifically, any course of action taken regarding SCP-??? will fail unless the following conditions are met while deciding upon said action:

All members of SCP-???'s stakeholder group, or authorized representatives thereof, are meaningfully involved in the decision-making process.
None of these decision-makers are being coerced, deceived, or misinformed about the facts of the situation.
The decision is agreed upon unanimously; verbal or written assent to a plan of action is sufficient, whether or not is the stakeholder's first choice.

If these conditions are not met, social and probabilistic factors will coincide to nullify any action that would move or alter SCP-???. This effect extends to the context in which SCP-??? is located, thus affecting attempts to document it, change the physical conditions in its vicinity, permit or restrict access to it, and/or affect its legal status.

SCP-???'s stakeholder group is comprised of all individuals and/or organizations that meet the following qualifications:

The party is aware of SCP-???'s existence.
The party has a material, ideological, or emotional stake in actions taken with respect to SCP-???.
The party wishes to be a stakeholder and is willing to attempt to reach consensus regarding SCP-???.
The party is not already a representative of another stakeholder.

Any action that would remove one of SCP-???'s stakeholders is subject to the same restrictions as actions regarding SCP-??? itself, thus preventing unilateral elimination of stakeholders.

What follows is a list of SCP-???'s stakeholders.

Name	Description	Stake in SCP-???	Observed motivations
The SCP Foundation	An organization dedicated to the containment of anomalous phenomena and the maintenance of normalcy.	The Foundation's organizational directive requires that SCP-??? be contained and its effect on normalcy be nullified.	Remove all other stakeholders, wipe their memory of SCP-???, and transport SCP-??? to a secure facility.
Edward Holmes Jr.	A Los Angeles-based film producer. SCP-???'s legal owner.	SCP-???'s financial value constitutes roughly one third of Holmes' wealth. SCP-??? additionally possesses sentimental value for Holmes.	Eliminate SCP-???'s anomalous effects and retain full ownership of SCP-???.
DA BANK LOL	A bank in which SCP-??? is stored.	DA BANK LOL is paid by Edward Holmes Jr. to store SCP-???. It is contractually obligated to fulfill Edward Holmes Jr.'s requests with regards to SCP-???.	Keep SCP-??? in its physical possession and ensure Holmes' ownership of SCP-???.
Linda Song	A professional mediator originally hired by the stakeholder group to assist in negotiations.	Song is paid for her mediation services at a significantly higher rate than is competitive in her field.	Prolong negotiations indefinitely, either by delaying consensus or by creating further proposals.
Dipshit Jimmy	Transient anartist responsible for granting SCP-??? anomalous properties. Former associate of Edward Holmes Jr.	Dipshit Jimmy regards SCP-??? and the ongoing negotiations regarding it as performance art.	Aggravate and stymie other stakeholders.

Item #: SCP-???

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: When not in use, SCP-??? may be kept in a standard lockbox. Use or examination of SCP-??? requires the assent and presence of at least two members of SCP-???'s research team.

Description: SCP-??? is a plastic magician's wand 20cm in length. When held by a human, SCP-??? can be used to produce an anomalous effect that varies between users. In each case, SCP-??? can be activated by pointing it at a target and uttering a phrase unique to the user. Repeated use of SCP-??? may cause fatigue.

SCP-??? only functions properly when operated by an individual who believes in the existence of phenomena that defy rational explanation. Such an individual will, upon grasping SCP-???, intuitively understand the effect it will produce, as well as the phrase required to do so. Subjects with no such belief will not learn the phrase necessary to activate SCP-???, nor gain an idea of what they could do with SCP-???.

The nature of SCP-???'s anomalous effect reflects elements of the user's personality, values, talents, and/or interests; if these elements experience a major shift, SCP-???'s effect and activation phrase may also change. The strength of the effect appears correlated to the strength of the user's beliefs, though this has proven difficult to quantify.

Testing Area R at Site-47 has been set aside for use with SCP-???. A variety of common objects and materials are available in the adjoining storage area for use as targets. See Appendix C for testing protocols.

Addendum: Experiment Log ???-A

The following experiments were conducted to evaluate the parameters of SCP-???'s activation. As these experiments were conducted shortly after SCP-???'s recovery, D-Class personnel were used as test subjects. This practice is deprecated due to SCP-???'s unpredictability.

Subject: D-47552
Foreword: Subject professed a belief in the existence of telepathy.
Activation Phrase: "Rocket meat!"
Effect: SCP-??? produced a bright red beam of light, accompanied by a brief hum. No physical consequences were observed. The target appeared distressed, stating that he could "feel the effect", but was unable to elaborate.

Addendum: Experiment Log B

Experiment Log ???-B is an ongoing attempt to determine the full variety of effects SCP-??? can produce. Due to the volume of tests that are required for this purpose, personnel are encouraged to volunteer for testing.

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+ Footnotes

SCP Sandbox III

Sandbox III: Revenge of the Sandbox