Homeless Heterotroph

SCP-####

OBJECT CLASS- NEUTRALISED, PREVIOUSLY EUCLID

SPECIAL CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES:

In compliance with foundation policy regarding the decommission of anomalous objects, SCP-#### should be redesigned SCP-####-EX and have its special containment procedures discontinued.

However, after an evaluation of the 12/27/15 incident, the foundation Ethics Committee has ordered SCP-#### to remain catalogued by an SCP designation until 12/28/25. at which point it will be presumed decommissioned inconclusively.

As SCP-#### remains theoretically missing, SCP-####'s former containment chamber: Housing Unit 7 in the humanoid containment wing of Site-98, remains formatted in accordance with SCP-####'s prior containment procedures. Should SCP-#### be rediscovered, SCP-#### is to be returned to its containment chambers.

((Collapsable: Display Containment prior procedures))
//Additional Collapsable 3/21/99
SCP-#### is to be contained in Housing Unit-7, located in the Humanoid containment wing of Site-98. SCP-####'s containment chambers has been outfitted with a standard foundation grade work desk. SCP-#### is to be supplied with a Montblanc Meiserstuck 149 black fountain pen.

Twice a day, SCP-#### is to be fed photocopies of the legal documentation surrounding a selected case of litigation within the State Of Illinois, a province of the United States of America. Said documentation must be screened prior to ensure that it does not entail any relevance to the current political landscape of Illinois or the United States of America.

SCP-#### should be fed a variety of Litigations, Civil in the morning and Criminal in the evening. Containment supervisors for the Humanoid Containment wing of Site-98 are to be trained to recognise nutritional deficiency in SCP-#### and given jurisdiction to change SCP-####'s diet should they become apparent.

As the extent to which SCP-#### is capable of altering reality is not understood, but has been definitively observed SCP-#### should be treated as a potential reality bending anomalous object. As such, 2 contingency plans are in order for situations in which SCP-#### would attempt to breach containment. Protocol SCP-####-ISBA and Protocol SCP-####-ISBB. Protocol SCP-####-ISBA entails the retrieval of the object should it breach containment. Access to Protocol SCP-####-ISBA is restricted to personal with sufficient need to know or a clearance level of 3 or higher. Protocol SCP-####-ISBB entails the termination of the object should it turn hostile against the Foundation. Access to protocol SCP-####-ISBB is restricted to the Director, Research head, and Security chief of site-98.

Additional Collapsable 3/18/99
SPECIAL CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES
SCP-#### is to be contained in Housing Unit-7, located in the Humanoid containment wing of Site-98. No further amenities aside from lighting have been deemed necessary for SCP-####s containment. Housing Unit-7 is to be under surveillance by two CCTV-Security cameras at all times. these cameras located in the north eastern corner of the cell and above the door of the containment chamber separately. As an added measure, SCP-#### has been outfitted with an ankle bracelet to track its location should it breach containment.
Additional Collapsable 3/10/99
CONTEMPORARY SPECIAL CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES
SCP-#### is planned to be contained in a standard Humanoid housing unit in the Humanoid containment wing of Site-98, currently Housing unit-7 is allocated for SCP-####'s future containment. Until SCP-####'s anonymous properties are better understood it is to be contained in detention cell 2 in Site-98's second priority preliminary containment wing. SCP-####'s detention is planned to continue until the SCP-#### containment supervisor feels its anomalous effects have been evaluated to the point that proper containment is possible.

Description:

SCP-#### is a relativistic entity constructed in parallel with the archetypical portrayal of a superhero and of a lawyer. SCP-#### is presumed to no longer exist in light of the 12/27/15 incident. SCP-#### appears to be caucasian male with blue eyes standing (Write this latter). SCP-#### was formerly Lawyer Mannington, a citizen of the United States of America who previously resided in the province of Illinois. No birth records, or any other form of identification beyond SCP-####'s ( _ ) have been identified

Despite the fact that SCP-####'s outward appearance is almost identical to that of Homo sapien
SCP-#### displays numerous abnormalities in its anatomy. SCP-#### does not maintain any form of homeostasis, nor does respirate. SCP-####'s circulatory system is devoid of any substance except for water and lacks any-form of immune system. Despite this, SCP-#### has never been observed to harbor any form of pathogen within its body. SCP-####'s body temperature remains at an equilibrium of ( _ ) regardless of its environment. SCP-#### lacks an anal orifice and sexual genitalia. SCP-#### lacks any form of cellular component and consists entirely of proteins maintained though anomalous means. SCP-####'s Esophagus ends with a spatial anomaly in place of what would be the Lower Esophageal Sphincter. Objects passing this point appear to physically shrink and eventually vanish entirely. Due to this anomaly unusual location technical specifics have been made difficult and the function of this anomaly remains unclear. Though it is likely SCP-#### uses it to gain subsidence.

SCP-#### is mobile and capable of performing a multitude of implausible and impossible physical actions though its abnormal method of mobility. While SCP-#### clearly appears to have been constructed or conceived in a way that mimics a Homo Sapiens SCP-#### does not move through the motion of its mussels, but rather the motion of each individual protein. SCP-#### is capable of moving, stretching, and bending all the proteins that compose it through an poorly understood form of Psychokinesis that has been designated SCP-####-3. SCP-#### has never been observed to physically harm itself through SCP-####-3. To date, all motions that SCP-#### has made seem to have been the product of SCP-####-3.

SCP-#### typically uses SCP-####-3 to imitate motions that it understands as human, however seems to struggle to perfectly replicate any motion it observes. Oftentimes SCP-####'s mobility is distinctly abnormal and abstract despite the objects intentions. When in the presence of Individuals, Animals, or Cardboard Cutouts, SCP-#### will attempt to walk from one location to another in a variety of ways. Often times in an eccentric manner. SCP-#### is consciously aware of the discrepancy between it's walk and the movements it attempts to imitate, and will voice to anyone within its general vicinity reassurances that it is in-fact, walking. When SCP-#### is not in the presence of individuals, animals, or cardboard cutouts, it will animate itself by simply moving its feet, legs, and lower-body and dragging its torso, head, and arms behind it.

Any clothing of apparel that SCP-#### is given to wear, regardless of size or composition, Will slowly dematerialize through an uncontrolled cascade of local-realty shifts, these reality shifts are then followed by counter-shifts that will materialize business cards reading "LAWYER MAN, attorney of law and justice." Followed by the previous home phone-number of Laurence Mannington. These cards include a picture of SCP-#### manipulating its face into a smile. Noble gases of varying quantities have been noted to materialize alongside SCP-####'s business cards. There is some relation between the mass of the clothing or apparel that SCP-#### is given to wear and the amount of business cards produced as well as the quantity of gas that accompanies it. However no definite trends have been observed.

The Foundation is currently unaware of SCP-####'s exact date of birth or manifestation, SCP-#### strongly resembles a fully grown biologically male Homo Sapiens however it's internal anatomy and cognitive development do not reflect it's external appearance.

(Section on internal anatomy) (Baby-teeth are called primary teeth)

SCP-####'s own cognitive abilities widely vary, SCP-####'s behaviors (Beyond it's vivid personalty and assumed persona.) when interacting with Personal, Animals, or card-board cut-outs clearly indicate that it either severely struggles to, or is incapable of, recognizing non-verbal expressions of emotion. SCP-#### seems to otherwise understand most states basic of human emotion, however struggles to comprehend or display certain emotions, notably:

  • list item

SCP-####

Homeless evaluation standards

V.1,

"The Eel is my penis -Djkatus, Mature SCP author"

Article Title (0-2)

Criteria for a 2

  • The title of the article has an application either the composition, theme, or content of the article.
  • The title of the article has either a deeper meaning or ties in with the article itself though either its composition, theme, or content in a dynamic way.
  • The title of the article does not change the meaning of the text OR the title of the article gives the text its meaning exclusively.
  • The title of the article was not written in a way that intentionally makes it stick out on the series page. (Click-baiting)

Criteria for a 1

  • The title of the article has an application to either the composition, theme, or content of the article.
  • The title of the article stands to give the article icon value based on its composition.
  • The title of the article was not written in a way that intentionally makes it stick out on the series page (Clickbaiting)
  • the title of the article is long, choppy, but has an application to the tone or thematic values of the article itself.

Criteria for a 0

  • The title of the article loosely relates to the articles composition, theme, or content.
  • The title of the article is written in a way that intentionally makes it stick out on the series page.
  • The title is long, choppy, and lacks a thematic value when drawn in relation to the article itself.
  • The title was already taken by another skip and the author didn't bother to check.
  • The title is misspelled for reasons that do not apply to the theme, composition, or content of the article.

Object class and aplication of object class to article (0-3)

Criteria for a 3

  • The object is classified as Safe or Euclid and abides by the headcanons expectations for such classifications.
  • The object is classified as Keter and abides by the headcanons expectation for such classification, as well as reaffirms the validity of its classification though the content of the article. In other words, the article persuades the reader that it's not Euclid.
  • The object is classified as Keter and abides by the headcanon expectations for such classification, the validity of its classification is not provided for the reader. However, the articles theme or composition justify this in a clear and understandable manner.
  • The object is classified as Thaumiel, this classification is justified by the composition of the article itself. Care is taken make the object something thematically similar to an SCP and there is a story told by the article itself. Homage is paid to the SCP writing style in the form of general structure and syntax.
  • The article uses the objects classification as a way of setting the readers expectations, these expectations are meet by the articles composition. Plot-twists, special circumstances, and breaks from format are exempted from this and judged on separate criteria.
  • Containment procedures clearly reflect the classification of the object.
  • The authors own literary portrayal of the foundation treats the object as its classification in additional material included in the SCP itself.

Criteria for a 2

  • * The object is classified as Safe or Euclid and abides by the headcanons expectations for such classifications.
  • The object is classified as Keter and abides by the headcanons expectation for such classification, as well as reaffirms the validity of its classification though the content of the article. In other words, the article persuades the reader that it's not Euclid.
  • The object is classified as Keter and abides by the headcanon expectations for such classification, the validity of its classification is not provided for the reader. However, the articles theme or composition justify this in a clear and understandable manner.
  • The object is classified as Thaumiel, This classification is justified by the composition of the article itself. The Article relies on the leniency of this classification as a method of furthering the narrative in a way that does not resemble an SCP. Homage is paid to the SCP writing style in the form of general structure and syntax.
  • The article uses the objects classification as a way of setting the readers expectations, these expectations are meet by the articles composition. Plot-twists, special circumstances, and breaks from format are exempted from this and judged on separate criteria.
  • Containment procedures clearly reflect the classification of the object.

Criteria for a 1

  • The object is classified as Safe or Euclid and abides by the headcanons expectations for such classifications.
  • The object is classified as Keter and abides by the headcanon expectations for such classification, the validity of its classification is not provided for the reader.
  • The object is classified as Thaumiel, this classification is justified by the composition of the article itself. The Article relies on the leniency of this classification as a method of furthering the narrative in a way that does not resemble an SCP.
  • Containment procedures clearly reflect the classification of the object.

Criteria for a 0

  • The object lacks a classification entirely.
  • A non-headcanon object class is used by the author, and the article isn't a beautiful amazing wonderful SCP that makes me smile.
  • The object is classified as a Safe, Euclid or Keter and does not meet headcanon expectations.
  • The object is classified as Thaumiel, but is not justified as being such by the article.
  • object class is a pun

Special Containment Procedures (0-5)

Criteria for a 5

  • The containment procedures are neither byzantine or overly simplified.
  • Clinical tone is maintained.
  • The true tone of the article oozes through the cracks of clinical tone, bracing the reader for the description.
  • Containment procedures clearly establish a plausible and methodic way of containing the SCP, the procedures seem to be an extension of the narrative itself, answering the question of "So how do we contain this."
  • The reader can vividly imagine what the continent would look like based on its description in the article.
  • The containment procedures foreshadows what the article is going to be. The author clearly understands and controls how the readers impressions of the SCP from the procedures and uses narrative techniques blended with clinical tone in anticipation of this.

Criteria for a 4

  • The containment procedures are neither byzantine or overly simplified.
  • Clinical tone is maintained.
  • The true tone of the article oozes through the cracks of clinical tone, bracing the reader for the description
  • Containment procedures clearly establish a plausible and methodic way of containing the SCP, the procedures seem to be an extension of the narrative itself, answering the question of "So how do we contain this"

*The containment procedures foreshadow what the article is going to be. The author attempts to employ narrative techniques but struggles to do so.

Criteria for a 3

  • The containment procedures are neither byzantine or overly simplified.
  • Clinical tone is maintained.
  • Containment procedures clearly establish a plausible and methodic way of containing the SCP, the procedures seem to be an extension of the narrative itself, answering the question of "So how do we contain this"

Criteria for a 2

  • The containment procedures are neither byzantine or overly simplified.
  • Clinical tone is maintained.
  • Containment procedures clearly establish a plausible and methodic way of containing the SCP.

Criteria for a 1

  • The containment procedures are byzantine.
  • Clinical tone is maintained.
  • The Containment procedures are coated in technobabble and syntax heasary.
  • Containment Procedures are not established enough.

Criteria for a 0

  • The containment procedures are overly simplified.
  • The containment procedures are not present and no justification is provided… Seriously how the hell do you even do this!
  • Clinical tone is ruptured.
  • Containment procedures are side-stepped to simply get into the article without good reason.

Description (0-10)

Criteria for a 10

  • The author has clearly written the SCP to the extent that the writing is greater than the thematic value of the SCP itself. This skip was not simply thought up and put into words: it was given a story to tell.
  • The author has preformed complicated and impressive literary maneuvers though there SCP, showing clear and distinct understanding of their craft. If this were to be taken to a publishing house: it may be published.

Criteria for a 9

  • The author has clearly written the SCP to the extent that the writing is greater than the thematic value of the SCP itself. This skip was not simply thought up and put into words: it was given a story to tell.
  • The author has preformed complicated and impressive literary maneuvers though there SCP, showing clear and distinct understanding of their craft. If this were to be taken to a publishing house: it may be published.

Criteria for a 8

  • The author has clearly written the SCP to the extent that the writing is greater than the thematic value of the SCP itself. This skip was not simply thought up and put into words: it was given a story to tell.

Criteria for a 7

  • The author not only wrote the SCP but went above and beyond the expected and tells a story with the SCP. The way the author writes is equal in value to the thematic valueof the SCP itself. The Skip may have been through then simply put into words and then given a story.

*

Criteria for a 6

  • The author not only wrote the SCP but went above and beyond the expected and tells a story with the SCP. The way the author writes is equal in value to the thematic valueof the SCP itself. The Skip may have been through then simply put into words and then given a story.

Criteria for a 5

  • The author has written something that is a definitive and proper article. The author attempts to tell some story with the article, but that story is weak in comparison with the Skip itself.

Criteria for a 4

  • The author has written something that is a definitive and proper article. The author attempts to tell some story with the article, but that story is weak in comparison with the Skip itself.

Criteria for a 3

  • The author has written something that is a definitive and proper article. The author makes no attempt to tell a story.

Criteria for a 2

  • The author has written something that is a definitive and proper article. The author makes no attempt to tell a story.

Criteria for a 1

  • The author has failed to write the article in the Proper SCP fashion

Boi you don-goofed

  • I am not amused 😠