Per 
Content Warning:
There is domestic abuse depicted within this article.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is contained in an A-Class containment cell at Site-86. Only the most basic human needs are met, and standard safety protocol Theta-Alpha is in place for testing purposes.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a human male of undeterminable age. When interviewed for a job position, SCP-XXXX is perceived as overqualified. This includes certifications, degrees, and job experience which is wholly imagined by the interviewer. This information usually over-qualifies it for any job role, often including multiple degrees in fields pertaining to the job.
Discovery: SCP-XXXX was formerly identified as Junior Researcher Johnathan Myres. It was determined to be anomalous on 1995/03/15, when it caused a minor containment breach involving an unrelated SCP. Its authenticity was called into question immediately after an investigation revealed basic safety protocols were not followed. The investigation into SCP-XXXX's documents concluded the documentation was forged. The interviewer was originally reprimanded until sufficient evidence proved an anomaly was present. Jonathan Myres was chosen for a job interview because of his outstanding career and records working at the CIA.
Interview Log SCP.XXXX.JOB:
Interviewer: Director Jaden Kehaul
Interviewee: Jonathan Myres
Foreword: Standard procedures for indoctrination led to this interview. Interviewee was not informed of the purpose of this meeting.
<Begin Log, 8:47 AM>
Kehaul: Good morning, Mr. Myres.
Myres: To you as well, I didn't quite catch your name.
Kehaul: You may refer to me as Kehaul, do you know why you are here today?
Myres: Zero clue. Boss said it was urgent or somethin' along that line, am I in trouble?
Kehaul: No, no. Quite the opposite. Your resume, experience and overall certification shows you are overly certified for your work at the CIA.
Myres: You… You are givin' me too much credit here, man. I work just as good as the next guy. I ain't nothin' special.
Kehaul: Actually its the contrary! Documentation states you overperform in every category. It all shows you as being quite the astounding worker. When looking in your history, it states you have multiple degrees at the age of 24. You have a doctorate in international affairs, and bachelors degrees in foreign studies, political science, nuclear engineering and chemical engineering. You are quite the diamond among the rough.Myres: It's honestly… It's nothing I was just y'know, enjoying the learning… Yeah. Sorry, you've gotten me embarrassed. Please stop talkin' about my accomplishments.
Kehaul: No reason to be embarrassed, a little praise was definitely needed. You are clearly the best worker they have, and might even become the best we have! The reason we decided so quickly is because we ran a background check, and noticed you came from quite the household… Against all odds you've gotten many different degrees and managed to become the best worker in the CIA, that's a lot from a victim of domestic abuse, especially in a case like yours. Anyway, on to why you are here. This is a once in a lifetime job opportunity to work on something greater, and more important to mankind. We are offering you a job in the mysterious, to say the least.
Myres: What… What do you mean by that?
Kehaul: The stuff people shouldn't see. In fact, can't see. If you say no, you can walk away back to work. You won't remember a thing. However, if you do agree, we can set you up in a trainee position working for the greater good.
Myres: This is a lot to take in, do I have time to think? This isn't something you can just leap into, right?
Kehaul: Hold up, hold up. I still need to cover some things. I do have some notes that are less than good looking. We have on record you do have a few mistakes… On April 31st you passed judgement and let a wanted criminal escape his holding cell. I want to be quite honest this doesn't look so great.
Myres: Honestly, I've been tellin' you that I'm not so great.
Kehaul: You really are humble, huh?
Myres: Excuse me…?
Kehaul: You are humble. We quite honestly just realized this as bad luck and wanted to test if you were gonna give us an excuse. You stuck to your guns, and that's what we like in a worker.
Myres: I'm just bein' honest I'm not that gre-
Kehaul: No. I have to stop you right there you are that great. Your job history, documentation, resume, you are exquisite! Though I find it quite odd that even on paper you are quite this good…
Myers: I'm tryin' to tell you, I'm not your best choice here… I'm not your best choice at all, I am not that great of a worker. But no matter how much I tell you, you don't believe me…
Kehaul: That solves it, you passed the test!
Myers: The test…? I was… I was being tested?! For what?
Kehaul: The test, it's one of our protocols. We try to break you, by calling out your accomplishments repeatedly until you crack. It's how we separate the arrogant from the real workers. I shall be talking to a few other higher ups such as myself, but I'm sure you passed. I loved your humbleness and I definitely will give you praise, to the highest degree. Well done, Myers.
Myers: It was nothin'. Honestly. I just was tryin' to… Tryin' to be myself… Mhm.
Kehaul: If all goes well, by the end of the week you will be transferred to our site, assuming you have accepted our offer. I can safely assume my time wasn't wasted here, right?
Myers: I… I accept… Yes. I can do this. I'm sure I can do alright workin' under you, just like I've been doing great here… I got this. (Not like you were gonna listen anyway…)
<End Log>
Afterword: The following week Myers was transferred to Site-86 after being removed from his work in the CIA. Myres then received extensive training in his new field of work. No real questions of authenticity appeared until subsequent failure to follow the most basic of protocols.
Notes: SCP-XXXX has been documented to have held 25 different jobs in the six months previous to capture. Notably, all jobs are governmentally sanctioned and several were in child protection services, of varying position and stature. This is notable due to emails beforehand providing a clear motive for SCP-XXXX's tirades.
Addendum SCP-XXXX.1-Charlie: Minor testing of the strength of SCP-XXXX's abilities has been approved. A log of the tests is attached below:
| Test Number | Job Position | Results |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | Bouncer at an unnamed club. | Despite the BMI of the SCP being below 18.5 (classifying it as underweight) the interviewer gave him the job citing that the SCP has training in every type of combat, as well as black belt in karate. |
| 6 | Cashier at a store. | Upon arrival for the interview the CEO of the small food chain greeted it instead of the manager. SCP-XXXX was chosen by the CEO for a position as the manager of the store, after he fired the previous manager. |
| 8 | Investigator specialist at the child protection services. | Interview concluded after three minutes in which SCP-XXXX was hired on the spot for the position. |
| 10 | Cadet in the Army. | SCP-XXXX was greeted by General James Consworth and was offered a position as a captain for "returning back to the army after honorable discharge." Something to note is SCP-XXXX has never retained a position in the army. |
| 12 | Janitor at NASA. | SCP-XXXX was greeted by James Bridenstine for its interview at NASA. Bridenstine cited SCP-XXXX's large quantity of degrees and experience as astounding with extra emphasis on his household. Bridenstine asked SCP-XXXX if it wanted a position as an astronaut, in which it politely declined due to Foundation orders. |
Addendum SCP-XXXX-1: Investigation into the background of SCP-XXXX using Delta-Foxtrot Investigative Protocols identified an email received by SCP-XXXX dated days before his work at the CIA. It was found in its archived folder of SCP-XXXX's personal email. The email was attached below, as well as a response email found in the sent folder:
From SidneyMyers@Yahoo
Recipient(s) JonathanMyers@GMailHey baby,
Please come home, it was a simple misunderstanding. Your dad didn't mean to do it. He is very sorry and we just want our kid back. I wasn't able to reach out to you anywhere else but I remembered your email and just wanted to try to contact you. I know you have your phone. There's no way you can live in this world without us, you're 14, that's too young for a job. Me and your dad just want you back. If you come around we will accept you back with open arms!
We both miss you, Mom.
From JonathanMyers@GMail
Recipient(s) SidneyMyers@YahooNo.
You don't beat a child and call it an "Oopsie." You're a sad, pathetic excuse for a parent, and I won't ever come back to your disgusting household. I know for a fact Dylan's parents don't hit him for missing one assignment, let alone give him bruises head to toe… I had to explain to my friends what you did to me when they saw the marks. You don't miss me, you miss the power you had over me. You forced your own child to run from home and you'll just have to live with that. I begged you to stop it. I pleaded and pleaded, just to be treated like a punching bag. Now I am standing up and I am way happier now than I ever was with you… I would also rather take my chances in finding a job before I ever go back to that shithole.1
Burn in Hell,
John.
