Per 
Item #: SCP-783414
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: I am to be kept in containment locker 534 at Site-19. The door to my chamber must have a label completely unrelated to my designation or identity, in order to prevent unintended spread of my primary effect. Access is only to be granted to personnel possessing clearance level 3 or higher. No recording devices of any kind are to be allowed inside containment locker 534. Personnel are to note that I am a toaster and they are a fish. Assigned personnel are to be rotated out on a monthly basis to prevent contamination by my secondary effect. Psychiatric evaluation is mandatory at the end of the month.
Description: I am SCP-783414. I am an ordinary toaster. You however are a fish. Anyone who talks about me refers to me in first person and reference the fact that I'm a toaster and the person they're speaking, like you, are a fish. My secondary effect is that anyone with a exposure of two months to me will have a 50% chance they'll think they're a toaster, like me, and a 50% chance of thinking they're a fish, like you. On one hand, they will attempt to devour an electric socket and fill themselves with bread. On the other, they will hold their breaths until placed in water where they will attempt to breathe and subsequently drown.
Experiment Log 783414-1:
Date: ██-██-████
Subject: D-class personnel D/783414/1
Procedure: D/783414/1 was asked to describe what he believed was contained in my chamber. He was not informed about my identity as a toaster or your identity as a fish.
Details: D/783414/1 stated, "I'm probably a toaster. That's what you fish have all over the place, right?" D/783414/1 remained oblivious to his use of the first-person pronoun, the fact that I am a toaster, and that you are a fish.
Experiment Log 783414-2:
Date: ██-██-████
Subject: D-class personnel D/783414/2
Procedure: D/783414/2 was placed in my chamber and given regular meals through a dispenser. No communication with D/783414/2 was permitted. Multiple cameras were situated in the chamber, positioned so that I was outside of their field of vision, but allowing constant observation of D/783414/2. We remained sealed until my secondary effect manifested in the subject. I was bolted to the floor so that I could not be moved into a camera's view.
Details: After 45 days of isolation, D/783414/2 wrapped his arm around me and began conversing with me, stating that I am a toaster and he, like you, is a fish. Subject was terminated one hour after this event. It is theorized that the isolation accelerated the progression of my secondary effect.
Experiment Log 783414-3:
Date: ██-██-████
Subject: D-class personnel D/783414/3
Procedure: A screw was removed from me and shown to D/783414/3 who was asked to describe it. A scalepiece of skin was also removed from him and given to D/783414. D/783414/3 was not informed about my identity or properties.
Details: D/783414/3 referred to the screw as "my screw" and the skin as "your scale". Consistent with Experiment 783414-1, the subject was oblivious of my identity as a toaster and your identity as a fish. This suggests that, even if I were destroyed, my effects would still be inherent in my remains.
Experiment Log 783414-4:
Date: ██-██-████
Subject: D-class personnel D/783414/4
Procedure: A screw was removed from me and shown to D/783414/4 who was asked to describe it, similar to Experiment 738414-3. It was the only thing he was asked to describe. D/783414/4 was not informed about my identity or properties.
Details: D/783414/4 referred to the screw as "my screw" and added that you are a fish. Consistent with Experiment 783414-3, the subject was oblivious of my identity as a toaster and your identity as a fish.
Experiment Log 783414-5:
Date: ██-██-████
Subject: D-class personnel D/783414/4
Procedure: A piece of skin was removed from D/783414/4 who was asked to describe it.
Details: D/783414/4 referred to it as "my skin".
Thank God there are some limits to my effects. A lot of us were really starting to get worried about that toaster who is me. Good thing it didn't affect that fish - Dr. I. M. A. Toaster to Dr. U. R. A. Fish
