Per 
In a world where Pikachu is Hilary Duff and chicken is not a thing, eggshells are the real enemy.
”Pikachu!” cried out Jesus Christ,” we need you in the white house the president is having a mental crisis!”
“Welcome,” Dr. Clef Yodels, you see it was Christmas in Finland and every day on this hour on the second minute, Doctor Clef yodels to respect the elders of Flapjack mountain.”Your presence is much welcomed, I say again.”
“Yes,” says Hillary Pikachu, who wasn't doing to good in rehab. In fact, she had turned the center into an abortion suffragist movement.” I’ve come to help with your crisis. What did you need from me?”
“Professor CaCa has become the greatest complication we cannot operate with his being of intolerable acts. They completely distract me from my upcoming scenarios of importance, I need to vibe on Sunday.”
“Check your own backside.”
If only he knew that Hillary Pikachu was Hillary Clinton-Chu, the world would be a better place.
"Actually, Jesus is no more real than the tooth fairy," he whispered in his ear.
“Impossible! How could you possibly have reached me there! This is my special spot.”
“Everywhere is my special spot.”He said suggestively but in a way that wouldn't make it obvious, he was a creep.
“Drats. You are smart. Impressive.”Clef admired in a manly manner."But can you do this?"
Clef jumped on his desk, and then as millions of fellow Americans waited in anticipation, he lowered a leg, and came off, as if nothing ever happened. He was a hero a true American patriot. The news celebrated.
"Yes, a matter a fact I can, watch this and be afraid!"
Hillary Pikachu who was now Hillary Clinton-Chu, stabbed his Caprisun with a straw. They had to make thier message clear so they ran it over with a tank and had Kanye west fly out and sign it.
Clef gasped at such an aggressive sight."Did you just… disrespect the pouch!?"
"And now I will disrespect you."Hillary Clinton-Chu slobbers, "Let's, go-to dairy queen! Immediately!!"
"Please be gentle; My tooshy is sensitive to the likes of whip cream."
“Too bad. I only have: Raisin Almond milk.”
“Think again fucking soy boys!”
Who was this new voice from the sidelines? It was the real sensation of the nation: Dr. Kondraki.
“No Mr. President.”Clef warned.”Get back in the African bunker.”
Real President Kondraki said, “It’s my pre-natal festivity… crying is an option.”
This would not stand, with the power invested in him by the great Pokemon League in the sky, it was like Hillary Clinton-Chus’ turn to feel the power of the thunder. They were hit with steaks of heaven lighting from Kondrakis magic girl wand. But it wasn't very effective.
“Fool. Do you know where I’ve been? I’ve defeated Star vs the Forces of evil. And tumbled the palace of Hogwarts.”
Dr, Kodraki threw a sandal that explodes on impact, But Hillary Clinton-Chus remains unharmed. She threw a breakfast burrito. The sight of the bacon and egg contents, how could she waste precious life so casually, this was the final straw. He couldn't take it anymore, it was time to unleash the beast within.
“Haha…"
"What's hilarious?"
"I made sand which! Extra Cheese!”
Hillary Clinton-Chus’ lungs inhale with the deepest of fears and an entire class of kindergarteners as she was thrown off the cliff outside the offices’ glass window by magical meat from a battleship cannon 10,000 miles off the coast of Micheal Jacksons NeverNeverland. Dr. Kondraki, buff and oily under an open frilly blouse swept Dr. Clef off his feet. Clef was turned on by a simple gust of wind the snail trail in his panties got wet as his golden locks blew behind him and in the face of a passing jogger. The look in the eyes of each other could hold a thousand lifetimes, in most of them they were dead. But it didn't matter, love was an eternal thing that goes on forever.
“Were you worried about me?”
“Oh dear yes! Terribly so!”
“Whore, shut the fuck up! Let us ride off!”
President Kondraki carried Dr. Clef off into the sunset on a wild untamed steed and exploded.
