I have way too many ideas.
- Heckle & Mockery
- What Happened At The Beach House?
- Soul Angler
- Roland
- Canned Whoop-Ass
- Bluekill
- SquawkBLAMthudBarf
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Foundation agents embedded in various global paramilitary organizations and mercenary groups are to monitor for any mention of SCP-XXXX or POI-XXXX07. Upon finding information related to SCP-XXXX, sources are to be thoroughly interrogated for further information before being amnesticized. Video or photo recordings of the anomaly are to be retrieved.
After each confirmed sighting of SCP-XXXX, the sighting's location is to be added to the current predictive tracking algorithm assigned to SCP-XXXX. Should SCP-XXXX be sighted within 100km of POI-XXXX07's last known position, MTF Omicron-37 "No Headshots" is to be dispatched to the immediate location. MTF Omicron-37 has been instructed to assume standard non-lethal takedown procedures against an armed assailant, and may only diverge from such procedures if they would immediately endanger civilians.
Should POI-XXXX07 be located, they are to be taken into Foundation custody and interrogated for information concerning SCP-XXXX. A memetically concealed message only perceptible to subjects with a total absence of brain activity is to be placed at the acquisition site of POI-XXXX07, containing directions to the nearest Foundation site along a route with minimal civilian exposure. Should SCP-XXXX appear at said site, onsite personnel are advised to refrain from hostilities and instead contact MTF Omicron-37 for rapid pickup of the anomaly. If POI-XXXX07 is located at the site, all personnel are to deny this in response to any inquisitive actions made by SCP-XXXX and the POI is to be covertly moved to the site's secure room.
SCP-XXXX's last known location is: ████████, Sudan.
SCP-XXXX's estimated current position is █████, Egypt.
POI-XXXX07's last known location is: ██████, Greece.
Description: SCP-XXXX is the animate headless corpse of an adult human male, identified as Roland Hevnevig. Hevnevig was born on 01/07/1939 in Stavanger, Norway and died on an unknown day and month in 1968. The entity wears kevlar body armor on the legs and torso consistent with military technology at the time of its death, with a small nametag reading "Roland" and a Norwegian flag printed on the left side of the chest. The entity's head has been completely destroyed, consistently with point-blank sustained gunfire from an automatic weapon.
SCP-XXXX has retained all physical ability, senses and skills it had in life, including strategizing and tracking despite failing to display any other forms of complex thought or emotion outside its primary objective. The entity does not require any form of sustenance, and has been observed to move continuously for a recorded maximum of 27 hours with no signs of fatigue. Despite lack of eyes or other visual organs associated with aiming, SCP-XXXX remains highly accurate when firing SCP-XXXX-1.
SCP-XXXX-1 is the designation given to the Thompson Submachine Gun carried by SCP-XXXX at all times. In the rare instances where SCP-XXXX-1 is temporarily separated from SCP-XXXX, it has been noted to display no anomalous properties other than association with the entity. When used by SCP-XXXX, the weapon performs abnormally well with no recorded instances of jamming, overheating or other common malfunctions. SCP-XXXX-1 fires standard issue .45 caliber bullets from a Type-C magazine, and on the occasion that reloading is required SCP-XXXX will scavenge any compatible ammunition from the surrounding area, utilizing SCP-XXXX-1 as a melee weapon if necessary. Although the entity has been observed to temporarily use other weapons as required by the situation, it has demonstrated a clear preference for using SCP-XXXX-1.
PoI-XXXX07 is the designation given to the individual responsible for SCP-XXXX's death while serving as a mercenary in the First Congo War. PoI-XXXX07 has been identified as Benjamin Van Owen, a former compatriot of SCP-XXXX in life. PoI-XXXX07 has no anomalous properties other than association with SCP-XXXX, but is aware of the anomaly and its goal. Sources have confirmed that Van Owen betrayed and killed Hevnevig on an unknown date in 1968, but the motives behind this act are currently unknown.
At all times, SCP-XXXX has demonstrated the clear goal of locating and terminating PoI-XXXX07. Although it cannot speak and has only shown limited thought capability, SCP-XXXX will attempt to gather clues and information to aid it in the tracking process. Once a last known location is established, the entity will then immediately begin travelling towards it, either on foot or stowing away on vehicles. SCP-XXXX has been observed to give crude directions via pointing its fingers when hijacking vehicles, and has on multiple locations produced a photograph of PoI-XXXX07 for use in extracting information from potential sources and witnesses. In cases where SCP-XXXX has been in close proximity to PoI-XXXX07, it has displayed overwhelmingly hostility directed at them in contrast to its usual apathetic behavior regarding others.
Notable Encounter Event Summaries:Date | Location | Summary |
---|---|---|
11/14/1968 | Mbuji-Mayi, DCR | First recorded encounter with SCP-XXXX. Multiple civilians reported seeing a headless body breaking down the door of the barracks formerly belonging to Hevnevig and the other members of his unit. The lodgings were at the moment unoccupied, as the remains of the unit had been relocated 15 days prior. |
11/26/1968 | Kindu, DCR | Security cameras in a safehouse belonging to ████████ ████, one of the overseers of Hevnevig's unit and other mercenaries, captured footage of SCP-XXXX emerging from a ventilation shaft in the armory. There, SCP-XXXX acquired large amounts of surplus .45 bullets before assaulting and subduing the building's owner. Upon ████ regaining consciousness, the anomaly can be seen to show the photo of PoI-XXXX07 to him, and periodically striking the captive in the face until he divulged unknown information to SCP-XXXX. |
12/19/1968 | Bujumbura, Burundi | Several dockworkers report seeing a headless body leaping off of a small shipping barge on Lake Tanganyika as it neared the shore. |
2/02/1969 | Eastern Kenya | Urban legends of a Shetani1 with no head arise in Nairobi, Thika, Embu and the surrounding areas. Two expended .45 casings and traces of blood are found in an alley in Embu. |
3/10/1969 | Ethiopia-Kenya Border | Government workers on the Ethiopia-Kenya border report an armed assailant with a "bad head" attempting to cross over without permission. Guards engage, and a firefight ensues that results in one dead and three injured, before the assailant hijacks a vehicle and drives off. The vehicle is later recovered in an uninhabited area of Northern Ethiopia, abandoned and out of fuel. |
3/28/1969 | Port Sudan, Sudan | Handheld camera footage taken from a sailor serving in the Red Sea shipping channels shows a smaller boat approaching the barge, manned by Somalian pirates. As the pirate craft pulls up alongside, 17 rapid gunshots are fired from a porthole on the larger ship, despite crew members not yet being in combat positions. SCP-XXXX can then be seen crawling out of the porthole and leaping onto the smaller craft, where it engages in melee combat with the surviving pirate. After dispatching its opponent via blunt trauma, SCP-XXXX seizes the controls of the vessel and begins steering towards shore. |
crit thanks Mooagain
Sqwraauuk-BLAM
thud
Barf
"How many is that?"
"Eighty-one."
"Well shoot, 'thought I'd've hit ninety by now."
"Keep at it. If one stays alive long enough to lay an egg normally, we'll be overrun. Agent Scott, any luck?"
"MTF is eight hours away. Eight!"
Crickle crackle crack
"I swear, if I ever find out what idiot thought it'd be a good idea to ship one of these bastards for cross-examination with a BUCKET OF-"
Sqwraauuk-BLAM
thud
Barf
"Eighty-two."
"-Christ. We've been here for how long? An hour and a half?"
"Couldn't rightly tell yer. Doc?"
"Hour and twenty-two minutes. Average of around fifty seconds gestation time."
"Hooh. If we have to keep this up for another eight hours-"
"If I have to keep it up for eight hours."
"-Don't make me put you on Keter duty, jumpsuit."
"You don't have that authority, Agent Scott. And D-10334 has been performing admirably."
Crickle crackle crack
"Ain't so bad. There's kind of a rhythm to it, see-"
Sqwraauuk-BLAM
thud
Barf
"-Like so. Gets easy after a bit."
"Ok, fine. Like I was saying, do we have enough bullets to last us that long?"
"We're in a well-stocked armory, and this is the first action this outpost has seen in a while. We should have enough. Maybe."
"Maybe?!? And figures that the 'first action in a while' would happen when there's only the three of us here. What do we do when we run out of ammo?"
Crickle crackle crack
"Well, I reckon any ol' blunt object with enough heft oughta do it. Might have to take turns though."
"You're sure you don't want to swap? Agent Scott or I would be glad to take a shift."
Sqwraauuk-BLAM
thud
Barf
"Naw, jes like I said, I'm in the rhythm."
"Ok. Sambre, we should start thinking of other solutions before we inevitably have to start bludgeoning these things with a chair. Any ideas? Can we crack the eggs?"
"Not without liquid nitrogen and a hydraulic press."
"Damn."
"…"
"…"
Crickle crackle crack
"…Damn. Shouldn't have skipped breakfast. Anyone have a granola bar or something?"
"I mean, uh, it's not like we're gonna run out of chi-"
"No."
"Definitely not. I don't have to read the documentation to tell you you shouldn't eat the Keter-class."
"Well, excuse me for-shit!"
Sqwraauuk! Arrkk-BLAMBLAM
thud
Barf
"Jeez, what was that?"
"Don't distract me while I'm genocidin' men-chicken."
"Ok. Sorry. Sheesh."
"S'alright. Anyways, this thing's a Keter?"
"…Yes. Are you surprised?"
"Well, if all it takes is one feller with a pistol to keep it at bay…"
"There's normally more than one at a time. And ammunition is a finite resource. Speaking of which, you're due for a reload."
"Oh. Right. Thanks Doc."
Click
Crickle crackle crack
click-SNAP
Sqwraauuk-BLAM
thud
Barf
"Just in time. Hey, how about I grab a gun too? So one late reload doesn't doom us all?"
"…Agent Scott, you mean you weren't already armed?"
"…I, uh, it slipped my mind. Sorry?"
"There is nothing in this room but us, carcasses of mutated poultry and weaponry. How did it not occur to you to arm yourself?"
"Look, this is a stressful situation. And by the way, what are we going to do if the bodies crowd us in? They're small because we get them quick, but they've already blocked off the door."
"While we're waiting, you could always busy yourself by attempting to clear them out. The biofuel reactor could run for a week on this."
"Ugh, forget I asked."
Crickle crackle crack
"What number is this one, again?"
"That's classified above your level, D-"
Sqwraauuk-BLAM
thud
Barf
"-10334."
"It's 3199."
"Scott!"
"Look, he's killed enough of them that we could add him to the containment procedures. What'll knowing the number do?"
"It's against regulations."
"So was shipping this thing out to Kansas, but some dumb bastard still did that and here we are!"
"We're in Kansas?"
"…Don't get any ideas."
"Hell no. First thing I did on turnin' eighteen was get the hell outta this state. Not gonna try and crawl back into it. 'Sides, more than a li'l preoccupied."
Crickle crackle crack
"Do y'reckon I should be standin' or something? Seems a mite lax, sittin' down like this."
"No sense in tiring yourself out. Besides, it's not as if the anomalies present a challenging target. They barely have time to-"
Sqwraauuk-BLAM
thud
Barf
"-crawl from the egg."
"Feels a tad unfair, but then again I don't fancy dyin' today."
"Same here."
"…"
"…"
"…"
Crickle crackle crack
Sqwraauuk-BLAM
thud
Barf
"…How long until reinforcements, again?"