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Catching Phrases

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures:

Description: SCP-XXXX is an anomalous recording of The Simpsons episode Bart Gets Famous. It was recorded on a VHS tape at the episode's original airdate of February 3rd, 1994; however, its anomalous properties did not become evident until 2015.

Specifically, SCP-XXXX is the twenty seconds prior to the closing credits, starting with the character of Lisa Simpson saying the line, "And now you can go back to just being you instead of being a one-dimensional character with a dumbass catchphrase".¹ Following this, other characters from The Simpsons appear, at times inexplicably, to utter their respective catchphrases² until an annoyed Lisa goes to bed and the credits begin.

Individuals who view SCP-XXXX will develop an anomalous verbal tic, designated SCP-XXXX-A. SCP-XXXX-A consists of a seemingly arbitrary phrase that affected individuals will attempt to insert it into a conversation as often as possible. If two or more individuals who are affected by SCP-XXXX-A attempt to converse, this invariably leads to a linguistic loop where the SCP-XXXX-A phrases are repeated ad nauseum until at least one party is removed from the conversation.

SCP-XXXX was discovered following the manifestation of SCP-XXXX-A in Dr. Tristan Bailey, a researcher at Site-87. Three other individuals were afflicted before containment was established.

Addendum: Discovery of SCP-XXXX: Dr. Tristan Bailey reportedly discovered the tape containing SCP-XXXX at a garage sale within Sloth's Pit, Wisconsin (Foundation Nexus-18) along with other VHS tapes containing the entirety of the fifth season of The Simpsons. No anomalous effects manifested until they arrived at Site-87 the next day, at which point the following conversation transpired between them and another member of Site-87 personnel.

[Audio Recorded Within Break Room on Sublevel 7]

Dr. Bailey: West, my dude, my man, my broseph! How ya doin'?

Dr. Johnathan West: I've actually been meaning to talk to you. Dr. Reese is having issues with— did you just call me 'broseph'?

Dr. Bailey: My dude, my man, my broseph, you bet I did! I guess I'm just in a good mood today. Got some sweet finds out of a garage sale yesterday, and that has me ridin' high.

Dr. West: …right. Anyway, Dr. Reese wanted me to ask me if you've got Melbourne's phone number? Apparently, he's in Florida at the moment, and she's in need of his services.

Dr. Bailey: Why does Reese need a memeticist— oh, right. Dumb question. Well, my dude, my man, my broseph, I'll try to get into contact with him.

Dr. West: And… maybe talk to him about that… thing you keep saying.

Dr. Bailey: What thing?

Dr. West: If I didn't know better, I swore you'd developed a catchphrase.

[Recorded from a conversation between Dr. West and Dr. Margaret Reese, in Reese's Office]

Dr. West: Bailey kept on repeating the same phrase over and over. Reminds me of that one time at Site-19 that—

Dr. Reese: [Unintelligble]³

Dr. West: No, I don't think it's contagious. If it was, I think that I'd be showing effects by now.

Dr. Reese: [Unintelligble]

Dr. West: I can order some take-out. Pizza or Chinese?

Dr. Reese: [Unintelligble]

Dr. West: Right, sorry, I forgot it's closed today. Pizza it is. Reminds me of that one time at Site-19, where—

Dr. Reese: [Unintelligble]

Dr. West: Me saying it twice doesn't mean it's recurring. But maybe better safe than sorry? Reminds me of that one time at Site-19, where —ah son of a bitch.

Dr. Reese: [Unintelligble]

Dr. West: Just bring the phone over here, you know they have trouble hearing you.

[Audio Recorded from a Telepresence Call between Dr. Tristan Bailey and Dr. Ryan Melbourne]

Dr. Bailey: So, yeah, that's apparently the deal. Can you help at all, my dude, my man, my broseph?

Dr. Ryan Melbourne: Firstly: never call me that again. Secondly:

Addendum: Nomohazardous Properties of SCP-XXXX: Following the treatment of afflicted individuals, it was discovered that they were incapable of uttering SCP-XXXX-A phrases without an additional anomalous event happening. Curing SCP-XXXX-A results in the formation of a nomohazard⁴ that causes individuals who are connected to the production of The Simpsons⁵ to receive summons apparently from individuals who were affected by SCP-XXXX-A, claiming damages for The Simpsons stealing the concept of a 'catch phrase' from them.

The tape that contained SCP-XXXX had additional five-and-a-half hours of recordable space present on it; fast-forwarding to the end revealed the following images:

[insert first image here; it should read:]

THE WORDS OF THE PROFITABLE
ARE WRITTEN ON THE SUNDAY TV GUIDE
BLAH BLAH BLAH
ARE WE TRITE YET?

[second image should read]

JUST KIDDING!
COPYRIGHT PROTECTION
&
ANTI-PIRACY SERVICES
PROVIDED BY
VIKANDER-KNEED
TECHNICAL MEDIA
PIRACY IS A CRIME
SO LET'S FUCKING DO IT

Footnotes

1. Notably altered from non-anomalous recordings, where Lisa calls Bart's catchphrase 'silly'.

2. Including Homer Simpson's "[annoyed grunt]", Bart Simpson's "Ay Caramba!" and Nelson Muntz's "Ha ha!"

3. An anomalous medical condition affecting Dr. Reese makes it difficult for her speech to be picked up by digital recording equipment.

4. An anomalous hazard that is connected to litigation and the legal system; from the Greek nómos, meaning 'Law'.

5. To date, this has included actors such as Dan Castellaneta, Hank Azaria and Harry Shearer, series creator Matt Groening, and Executive Chairman of The Walt Disney Company Bob Iger.