ILikeTomatos

SCP-XXXX-1-3█

Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe Neutralized Euclid (See Incident XXXX-7.06.2013)
Special Containment Procedures: Due to SCP-XXXX anomalous properties, permanent containment has been deemed infesible. In order to mitigate the effects of SCP-XXXX Foundation agents embedded in █████ County, Illinois are to monitor all billboards and signs exceeding or equal to 54m² in surface area. Upon a manifestation of a SCP-XXXX-1-x instance, Agents under the guise of performing routine maintenance are to proceed to the location and censor as much of the text as possible. All SCP-XXXX-1 instances are to be logged in document-XXXX-records.
As of 7/08/2013: SCP-XXXX-1 special containment procedures are to be enacted in the following areas: █████████ county, Minnesota and ███████ county, Iowa (See incident XXXX-7.06.2013). In addition, foundation surveillance assets are to monitor the marketing/sales divisions of all companies that have one exceeding 20 employees. Should an employee become missing under suspicious circumstances, foundation resources are to be used in order to falsify the death of said individual. Individuals are to be classified as SCP-XXXX-2-x with x being the number instances before their abduction. Attempts to establish permanent communication with SCP-XXXX-2 instances are being made.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a phenomenon that affects billboards and signs in █████ County, Illinois. Through currently unknown means, the message currently displayed will be changed into incoherent and odd phrases. These messages are classified as SCP-XXXX-1 and manifest at a rate of ~3 a week¹. The changes to the contents of the original message are permanent and will remain for an indefinite period of time.
Update (1/26/1998): SCP-XXXX-2 has been identified as the entity responsible for SCP-XXXX-1 manifestations. It is currently unknown how SCP-XXXX-2 is capable of text manipulation. Attempts to re-establish communications are on going. For more detail see Incident XXXX-7.06.2013
Update (7/08/2013): SCP-XXXX-3 is the designation given to the anomalous entities identified in incident XXXX-7.06.2013. SCP-XXXX-1 instances are also now capable of manifestation in █████████ county, Minnesota and ███████ county, Iowa.

+Incident XXXX-1.22.1998

On January 22nd, 1998, Agents █████ and ████████ responded to an unusual variation of SCP-XXXX. The following is an audio transcription.

Agent █████: Uuuhh…this agent █████-
Agent ███████: and ████████.
Agent █████: -Responding to an unusual instance of SCP-XXXX-1.
[Extraneous dialogue removed]
Agent █████: Anyways, I guess its time to get a look at the thing.
[Sounds of walking]
Agent ███████: Whats it say?
Agent █████: Quit squinting, you'll ruin your eyes.
Agent ███████: *Chuckles* You're seriously gonna tell me that at a time like this?
Agent █████: Yeah, I don't want you to go blind old man.
Agent ███████: Keep on task, what does it say?
Agent █████: I think its just…hello with a question mark?
Agent █████: I'm gonna head up there to secure the tarp and get a better look.
[Extraneous dialogue removed]
Agent ███████: You're pretty out of shape kid.
Agent █████: *Breathing Heavily* Desk work…will do that…to you.
Agent ███████: Huh…didn't you say it said "Hello"?
Agent █████: *Grunts in affirmation*
Agent ███████: Well good thing we came up her to take a better look
Agent ███████: It says "Help" all uppe-
Agent █████: Whoa! Did you just see that.
Agent ███████: See wha- Oh [Expletive Expunged]!
Agent ███████: That's new.
Agent █████: For the poor bastard that gonna end up transcribing this, it just went from "Help" to "Please"
Agent █████: That's pretty…unsettling.
Agent ███████: "Hello" then "Help" and finally "Please", Its almost like its trynna talk to us huh? *Low Chuckle*
Agent █████: …
[Sound of a sharpie being uncapped]
Agent ███████: … You can't be serious.
Agent █████: It's worth a shot.
Agent ███████: *Sighs* If this works, god knows how much paperwork there'll be.
Agent █████: Well, too late now.
[Visual records confirm that Agent █████ wrote "Is any one there?" on SCP-XXXX-1]
[Approximately 5 seconds pass]
Agent ███████: Well I'll be damned, that actually worked
Agent █████: For the record, SCP-XXXX-1 "responded" with "Yes, thank god someone finally responded"
Agent ███████: I'm going to preliminarily designate the entity as SCP-XXXX-2
Agent █████: Now what?
Agent ███████: Keep it talking, find out some basic information. I'm gonna call this one in, the eggheads are gonna lose their [Expletive Expunged].

Agent ███████ proceeded to contact Site-███ and operatives were dispatched out to establish a more permanent containment option.

Agent █████: Just wrote "Who are you?"
Agent █████: Responded with "Alex ██████² of ████████████, Illinois".
Agent █████: Wrote "What is your current condition?"
Agent █████: Wrote back "[Expletive Expunged], they're here I gott"-
Agent █████: Sentence got cut off. Gonna try again.
Agent █████: No response.
Agent █████: ███████, I think we lost him.

Further written messages were met with no response. Following this incident SCP-XXXX-1 instances stopped manifesting. Pending neutralized classification.

Addendum 1 (1/22/2000):
It's been 2 years since the last SCP-XXXX manifestation, I'm officially requesting that SCP-XXXX be re-classed as neutralized.- Sr. Researcher █████

Request granted.- O5-█

+Incident XXXX-7.06.2013

On July 6th, 2013 SCP-XXXX manifested a previously unknown property in the form of a SCP-XXXX-1 instance forming on an animated billboard. The following is a video transcript.

[Black screen]
[Sudden Cut to a person running through office building]
[Camera holder ducks around corner]
[Individuals are seen running past]
[Several minutes of silence]
*Heavy Sigh* [Camera turned to face holder]
SCP-XXXX-2-2³: I don't know what's going on and I don't know where I am, but I know I'm in some deep [Expletive Expunged]. I have no idea were this camera feed is going to but hopefully somebody, anybody will see it.
SCP-XXXX-2-2: Listen, they want more..workers? I overheard some of those things talking with. It said that they were ready to start "large scale operations". Look the point is that they arn't happy with what they have now, they want more. More people like me, marketing executives, sales managers whatever. They go around abducting people, they took me from [Redacted]. They need us fo- [Expletive Expunged]!
[SCP-XXXX-2-2 drops camera]
[SCP-XXXX-2-2 is seen running]
[SCP-XXXX-2-2 is apprehended by several unknown entities]
Unknown Entity: Employee 1060613S has been re-captured.
SCP-XXXX-2-2: I have a name [Expletive Expunged]!
Unknown Entity: Forced has been authorized to subdue Employee 1060613S, do not make us use it.
SCP-XXXX-2-2: [Expletive Expunged] you Bill!
[Feed cuts out]

In the hours following this, SCP-XXXX-1 instances began to manifest at pre-incident XXXX-1.22.1998 rates in █████, Illinois, █████████, Minnesota and ███████, Iowa. All SCP-XXXX-1 instances manifested the same message.

Tired of regular billboards? Their stupid and flat surfaces? Fret no longer. No more billboards only Bill's boards. Coming soon to a midwest near you.

Addendum 3 (7/08/2013):
SCP-XXXX is to be reclassified as Euclid and investigations into "Bill" be made- O5-█

Footnotes

1. Though this number has been known to fluctuate with the lowest recorded being 2 a week and a recorded maximum of ██ in a single day

2. Identified as missing 3 weeks prior to first contact. Worked as a marketing officer for [Redacted]

3. Later identified as Susan ███████, a marketing executive for [Redacted]. Was missing for 1 month prior to contact