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NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION
Error 0x8B10000B "How did you get here?"
This page cannot be accessed by RAISA. Please report to your designated Site Director immediately.
— ERROR.aic
STOP.sys:: (0x2632112, 0x0912x812, 9x92132)
A problem has been detected
SCP Foundation Secure Facility Dossier
Official Designation: Imaginary SCP Foundation Nodal Headquarters and Mass Containment Facility
Site Identification Code: 😜🌻🔪🌏💤
General Information
The North. Currently ruled by Senior Researcher "Slave of DIamonds"
Founded: March 19th, 2017 CE or September 20th, 2865142 PS1
Founding Director: Madog ap Maredudd [detached on 5/13/2019, currently a part of Site-(√-1)]
Current Director: Mr. Ben Amenhotep
Location: Hosted by Elder Foundation Dreamer Ginko Muddybead. Body Located in Shelf 14, Room-116, Warehouse #34
Cover Story: None
Site Function: Administrative Office of the iSCP Foundation, Containment, Power Projection, Imperialism, Disposal
Size: Infinite in length and width. Bounded in height by Lieutenant Bloodberry of the Top and Lieutenant Al-Nu’man of the Bottom.
Purpose: To be determined
Anomalies Under Containment
Note: Not all anomalous entities encountered by the iSCP Foundation are automatically deemed worthy of containment. Containment is limited to such things that may destabilize Oneiori “sense.” The interpretation of “sense” is confined by the limits of the imagination of the Senior Researchers (ie. that which cannot be imagined is by nature, anomalous).
The state of the “Transitory” is undetermined. Due to the ongoing Site-(√-2) Civil War, “Transitory” things are to be left unimpeded in their activities, whatever they may be.
Members of the iSCP Foundation are not to be contained. As such, an interesting dichotomy arises. The author of this section does not yet understand what it would be.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of objects, people, and phenomena are stored within Site-(√-2). Here is a partial list of those documented by SCP Foundation liaisons.
| ID Number | Object Class |
|---|---|
| SCP-002i | Keter |
| SCP-003i | Keter |
| SCP-444i | Thaumiel |
| SCP-5761i | Archon |
| SCP-1101i | Safe |
| SCP-8001i | Archon |
| SCP-(2+7i) | Euclid |
| SCP-(√e^[iπ]) | Apollyon Explained |
| SCP-(-9-54i) | Hiemal |
| SCP-(csc(z)+4.5iπ) | Euclid |
Prose By Researcher Icarus When He Woke Up (He Flew A Bit Close)
A verdant sun and a monkey’s head shone across all the lands that I traveled. There was never night.
There atop a glistening steamboat, helmed by small rodents and treefolk, I came upon an individual who gave a rather odd impression; five round eyes across its face with a pustulating, open scalp. Her cerebrum shuddering with any minute movements.
At the sides of the scalp, flowing bronze hair fell to her shoulders. It was covered with a red-tinged shawl, despite the heat of the day. From afar, it seemed to be quite normal but that changed as I approached.
I strode towards it and noticed its feet, or lack of them, and how they merely floated a few inches above the steel deck. I asked for a name and it said "Katherine."
I asked why she looked like that; for it was quite a disgusting form. She responded but I forgot what it said. I told her my name and my role as liaison but by God, it turned out she was a member of the Foundation as well!
"Are you going to the East as well?" I beamed with a feigned smile.
She said no. Apparently her job was to stay on this vessel. The vessel, as it were, still traveling from the Center to the East along a paved highway. I dare not ask what her role was.
Rats with sailor hats skittered near my feet so I skipped to the railing and plopped my elbows down. I looked out and could barely make out the forests from the green fog covering it all. It was unusual, it looked as if the entire world was moving, not the ship. As if the steamboat was in stasis and we were watching as everything passed us by.
"So how did you join the Foundation? Must’ve been an interesting story for you to be here. At least more than mine.”
And she began to speak and said something like this.
Once upon a time, there was a young guy who lived somewhere. And in this place, he was alone; parents long gone and friends in school and work.
And honestly, he was a lazy person. He didn’t want to do anything hard. Just to chill out, smoke a little, and work a few odd jobs here and there.
The Steamboat Captain. ID/Name: iSCP Junior Researcher Michaël Descamps
But sometimes, when he reminisced on what he was doing, he got a tiny bit depressed. And when that happened, he tried astral projection and lucid dreaming. A few “new-age” techniques he learned when couch-surfing.
As is to be expected, though, the couches ran out. And when he had nowhere to go, he found himself hanging out under bridges and in squatter houses.
In those types of places, he wandered. And one day, he met a bum giving out pamphlets to the other people under the bridge and in the squatter houses. And one day, he decided to read the pamphlet and emblazoned on the cover were the words “How To Sleep Correctly :P.” And one day, army-lookin' guys took him while he was sleeping.
More or less, that was the bulk of the story, she said. She eventually figured out that the guys who took her were part of the Foundation.
“…What exactly is your job here?” I said.
“Same as always,” she hovered over to me. “Smoking a bit and doing some odd jobs,” she confided in my ear.
From under her red shawl, she lifted up her hand and plucked the grassy sun and popped it into her mouth. I backed up quite quickly, but it was too late. A lush fog started to blow from under her in the emptiness where her legs should be.
“If you happen to live. Tell Luxury Cream to go to hell!” That was the last thing I heard. Not from “Katherine” but from the bizarre Foundation member captaining the steamboat in the front.
Story Written by Site Director Ben Amenhotep that was sent to Site Director Alessandro after their meeting2
The labyrinthine hallways of Warehouse #34 felt almost intentional. Perhaps to make sure that anything contained within the ill maintained structure couldn’t naturally find their way out even if they escaped from their hold.
Of the many hallways, there was one which had a room. The room wasn’t at the end of the hallway, it was located right in the middle of one. Not at the lowest level of the Warehouse, but about two levels down from the entrance.
At the front of the door was a small plaque near the handle which read “Room-116 (Site-2i).”
Site Director Alessandro knocked on the door and a few seconds later a slender, gaunt man opened it. He was wearing a standard lab coat but the buttons were undone and underneath was a tie dye t-shirt and basketball shorts.
He was rather young-looking with an unkempt, patchy beard and dark sags under his eyes. His face was burnt harsh red with clear signs of an intense sunburn.
The sight of wireless headphones in his ears annoyed Alessandro. On his lab coat was pinned a crooked ID reading, “Site Director Ben Amenhotep.”
“Good afternoon, Doctor! Come right in!” squeaked Ben, excitedly.
“…Thank you, Director,” Alessandro murmured back.
Ben took a wide step back and Alessandro slowly inched in. Alessandro was immediately disturbed by what he saw.
It was a small, cluttered room barely fitting the oversized furniture and office desk. Piles of papers, fast food, jugs of milk, and random boxes filled the dimly lit room.
Multiple fans were blowing at each of the room's corners.
Alessandro went to sit in a large, leather recliner chair in front of the desk but immediately tripped over something and stumbled forward. He looked back and yelled “What the hell!”
“Director Amenhotep, am I misunderstanding something here?” Alessandro was staring at Ben with a tilted head and a ruffled frown.
He looked back from Ben down to an old man sleeping soundly on the floor. The ancient looking person was wearing a sleeveless white shirt and boxers.
Alessandro looked around more closely. The dimmed environment made it difficult to see but through his scan he found many more people, at least 15 to 20.
All sleeping, all on the ground, all in bizarre dresses. Some wore standard lab coats, others wore suits, and some of the older ones wore pajamas.
The age, gender, ethnicity were all arbitrary and they were all splayed over the office. Many were across the ground and some were learning against the wall. Concerningly, there seemed to be some that were younger than Ben whose dossier already read 22 years old.
“Ah, I’m sorry Dr. Alessandro. This guy is a lazy bastard, he’s always like this.” Ben bent his knees and grabbed the arms of the old man. With much effort, he pulled him to the other end of the office.
“Please sit, sit.” Ben ran to his desk and stood behind it. Noticeably, there was a small, strong fern at one corner of the table.There was a bean bag chair behind the office desk but he did not plop right into it.
Alessandro gritted his teeth and spoke with a tense, held back manner. “Site Director, who are all these people and why is this room a pig sty?”
Ben had his hands behind his back and looked around. “All these people are my lieutenants, Dr. Alessandro. I don’t know if you know but only a few Imaginary SCP employees, like myself, are listed in the official directories. But their badges work the same as anyone else.”
“And the room?”
Ben stuttered a bit. “Ugh…um, oh. It’s just because one of the guys who helps me out around here hasn’t come in a while.” Ben cast his eyes down.
Site Director Alessandro glared up to Site Director Amenhotep. “I don’t see a computer in this room. But I know you got a letter explaining why I’m here.”
“Yes! The site dossier! I hope all the site audits are going along well. I’ve heard from up above that Foundation members keep getting force shut out from 2i. I’m really sorry about that Director. The Senior Researchers have been really annoying me too.”
Alessandro was dumbfounded by what he was hearing. It all started from the beginning. When he got his list of sites to compile and inspect, he was surprised to see something he never noticed — “Site-(√-2)”.
A quick request by RAISA only led to a scant few references in some Oneiori skips, a few files in the Deep Storage, and one or two classified documents.
“You mean to say that you can’t just tell your employees to let other Foundation personnel visit the sit…”
Ben interrupted him. “Let me stop you right there, Director. Up here, we pretty much let anyone do what they want. I know how other sites work, but we aren’t like em’. Most of our people are pulled right from the back alley. That’s our uniqueness, you get what I mean. And you know, we must be doing something right, cause none of the top guys ever tell us otherwise. To save you all the hassle, me and a few of the other lieutenants whipped up this dossier for you. We tried to explain everything as best as we could. For someone new I mean, to the whole dream thing.”
Director Ben pulled a bundle of papers from under his desk and handed them to Alessandro. He took them but Ben kept his hand out. Alessandro took it and was pulled up and led out.
“You see, I’m getting a bit tired. If you need more information other than what’s contained there, just list it as ‘unknown.’ I doubt anyone will check.”
Alessandro was out the door and looked back. Director Amenhotep dimmed the lights all the way down till it was black in the room.
“Ah, and on your way out, can you tell the front desk we need another trash boy?”
Our Best Attempt at a Site Overview3
Site-(√-2) is the third permanent settlement created by the “iSCP Foundation.” The iSCP or “Imaginary SCP” Foundation is an official department of the SCP Foundation established in 1999. The ultimate goal of the iSCP Foundation is the complete containment of Oneiroi Space4.
In essentially all aspects, the iSCPF is considered completely distinct and separate from the rest of the SCP Foundation. Recruitment, containment, research, administration, human resources, finances, and intelligence is handled internally and is shared with the SCP Foundation security on a need-to-know basis.
All information contained regarding the iSCPF and related entities are stored within approved iSCPF hivemind “Site-(√-1).” Access to such documentation is limited to dreamers due to location storage being within the dreamspace.
The lack of contemporary iSCPF accomplishments has led to a decrease in funding. A 2008 agreement has led to the iSCPF being responsible for intra-Oneiroi space anomalies only. While individual teams/MTFs contain Oneiroific entities/phenomena that affect baseline reality and which are given official SCP nomenclature.
Site-(√-2) is separated into five distinct portions. Each portion will be described below.
Note: Researcher Bloodberry5 blocks any entity from reaching above 100 km. Researcher al-Nu'man6 blocks any entity from reaching 100 km below ground level.
(I hope I still got the clinical tone right lol, used to be part of the SCPF back in the day you know? —Amen)
This is being typed through dictation. There ain’t computers up here.
So basically, don’t even try coming to Site-2i by choice. You’ll be falling off that highrise building or running late to that college final then, all of a sudden, a door in your peripheral vision will open.
And that door won’t be havin’ a name next to it. But you’ll know it's where ya wanna go. Now you should go open that door and you’ll be right here at Warehouse 34. Now, here’s the hard part, go and walk through the damn maze and try to find Room 116. There, you’ll be able to find the host, Muddybead.
Ben told me that the audience here are those folk who aren’t familiar with the way Oneiori works. Well, here’s a super quick basic review. Dreamworlds and hiveminds are blips and they gotta be hosted…mmm…like a web domain, how else can you access the content on websites besides connecting to the server? Funny part is that some people host them and they don’t even know.
Anyway, Muddybead has graciously allowed for his body to be used for the Dreamworld of 2i. He just sits there in that room with his scalp sliced clean off letting anyone come in. That was Amenhotep’s request though, to let coming into 2i be easy. It’s much harder to get into say, the Cardinal Oneiori’s, especially Oneiroi South.
Well anyway, inside his fat skull, you’ll need to sit your ass down a slide and slide all the way down. I don’t know when but you’ll eventually find yourself at
