Dirty Dan's Dandy Drafts

Morning, My Good Simian

SCP-XXXX-2 instance, shortly after manifesting

Item#: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Due to SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-3's incorporeal nature, SCP-XXXX itself cannot be contained. Containment is to focus on identifying instances of SCP-XXXX-1 and SCP-XXXX-2. No mention or media of primates other than humans is allowed in the vicinity of SCP-XXXX-1. In the event that an SCP-XXXX-1 instance becomes aware of the existence of primates other than humans, Mobile Task Force Mu-2 ("Monkey See, Monkey Do") is to be deployed to contain the ensuing SCP-XXXX-2 instance.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a dream randomly occurring in humans above the age of 12. Individuals who have experienced SCP-XXXX are designated as an instance of SCP-XXXX-1. The dream is reported to consist of various species of primates forming a circle around SCP-XXXX-1 and smiling. Upon awakening, SCP-XXXX-1 will be greeted by a common chimpanzee, who will utter the phrase, "Morning, my good simian!" in a British inflection.¹ SCP-XXXX-2 will then proclaim that SCP-XXXX-1 "must show him around and introduce him to the family". SCP-XXXX-2 instances seem to be poorly integrated into our reality, often randomly breaking objects and frequently causing death to people around it. SCP-XXXX-2's influence over SCP-XXXX-1 extends to other people, but can be broken if they somehow comprehend that a chimpanzee is in their proximity. If the influence of SCP-XXXX-2 is broken, it will become enraged and will start attacking any lifeforms in its vicinity, but will mainly target the SCP-XXXX-1 instance that dreamt about it. SCP-XXXX-2 do not differ in anatomy to mundane chimpanzees, and autopsies on their corpses have shown that they lack vocal chords, despite having the ability to speak. SCP-XXXX-2 are, however, significantly harder to terminate, possessing anomalous resistance to most weaponry.

After 24 hours, SCP-XXXX-1 instances lose all memory of SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-2, along with all knowledge and awareness of any species of primate other than Homo sapiens. If any primates other than human beings are mentioned, depicted or otherwise exposed to SCP-XXXX-1, it initiates SCP-XXXX-3 when they enter REM sleep. SCP-XXXX-3 is a dream similar to SCP-XXXX-1, with the primary difference that the resulting SCP-XXXX-2 instance manifests as the primate that SCP-XXXX-1 was made aware of. Primates that can prompt SCP-XXXX-3 are not limited to modern day species, as extinct, fictional, mechanical and anomalous variations will be manifested if SCP-XXXX-1 is made aware of them.

Stories To Warm Your Heart

Item#: SCP-3593

Object Class: Safe (Pending Euclid)

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3593 is to be kept in a Safe-class Anomalous Locker at Site-19's anomalous literature depository. Access to SCP-3593 is restricted to authorized members of the research team. Members who leave the research team are to be given Class-A amnestics. In the aftermath of Incident 3593-01, all personnel are to be evaluated to confirm that their past actions adhere to SCP-3593's moral code².

Description: SCP-3593 is a hard copy book titled Stories To Warm Your Heart. The book is composed of various short, inspirational stories depicting individuals with troubled lives overcoming their obstacles or being granted help from outside sources. The dust jacket describes it as a "wonderful collection of true stories³ that will be sure to warm your heart! This time, it's all 4 volumes together!".⁴ SCP-3593's anomalous properties activate once a story has been completely read. Upon completion of a story, the text of SCP-3593 alters itself to write a message to the reader. If the reader does not show a significant emotional response to the story or does not agree with or has broken SCP-3593's moral code, they will have their hearts removed and replaced with an object of SCP-3593's choosing. Objects chosen as replacements for the heart have demonstrated a deliberate and conspicuous connection to the reader's history. The heart replacements also function as well as a normal heart would, pumping blood throughout the body and supplying oxygen and nutrients to tissues, with the only notable difference being that the subject experiences significant physical pain.

Addendum 3593-01: Recorded Activations of SCP-3593

Date	Subject	Effects	Notes
05/06/2011	D-2997	After D-2997 finishes reading a story, the words rearranged to form the message "You sick bastard. As punishment, you will always be reminded of their smell. You won't be able to smell your own stench over them." D-2297's heart is replaced with a generic bottle of perfume.	D-2997 was sentenced to death row after he beat his wife and 5-year-old daughter to death with a perfume bottle in a fit of drunken rage. D-2997 has claimed that the smell emanating from the perfume is the same as the smell of his daughter and wife. Test has left D-2997 in a state of psychological distress and considerable chest pain.
05/21/11	D-4598	After reading the story, D-4598 comments "What the hell was the point of reading this stupid story? I could care less about some refugee brats". Immediately after this, SCP-3593 altered the text to say "Oh, but you do care about kids. You beat yours to make them be quiet . Now the fists that broke their hearts will break your heart. Looks like you've been dealt a bad hand. Or two". Following this, both of D-4598's hands were removed from his arms and replaced his heart.	D-4598 was sentenced to life in prison after he had murdered his wife and beat his two children and kept them in the house to prevent them from telling. He was arrested after both his children escaped the house and contacted authorities. All attempts to give D-4598 prosthetic hands have resulted in failure. Both D-4598's chest and the stubs where his hands used to be are extremely painful to him.
06/06/11	D-4556	After reading the story, SCP-3593 rearranged the text to say "Even with all that money, you were always poor in heart. Now you're just broke." Following this, D-4556's heart was replaced with several wadded up $100 bills.	D-4556 was convicted of money laundering and embezzling $8,500,000 from the funds of █████. He was later sentenced to death row after company executives used their influence and money to frame him for attempted murder of their CEO. The $100 bills do not seem to be affected like normal paper in blood.
06/08/11	D-1227	Upon completion of the story, SCP-3593 immediately altered its text to say "You aborted an innocent baby. Now I shall abort your mental health." Following this, D-1227's heart was replaced with a human fetus in the second trimester.	Several years prior to being incarcerated, D-1227 and his wife had agreed to abort their unborn child due to him having Down syndrome. D-1227 has reported that he can hear the crying of a baby during every "heartbeat". Prenatal testing of the fetus has shown it to be braindead, although its heart still beats. The fetus does not appear to mature, and testing has come back positive for Down syndrome.
06/25/11	D-4129	After D-4129 finished the story SCP-3593 rearranged its text to form the message "It has come to my attention that you have rejected and criticized my moral code. In that case, I don't think you'll need a heart, as anybody who truly has one would follow the wisdom and morality in it. I will leave nothing in the place of that poor excuse for a heart." Following this, SCP-3593 removed D-4129's heart and did not leave a replacement. D-4192's chest cavity has been determined to be completely devoid of any matter.	D-4129 was informed of SCP-3593's moral code and how it instructed what things humans should do in their lives. D-4192 was then asked criticize the moral code, and if he would personally follow it. D-4192 described the moral code as "a narrow-minded and authoritarian set of rules that would not be out of place in a dystopian world. I would never even consider following this."
07/03/11	A.I prototype	Upon completion of the story, SCP-3593 rearranged the text to form the message "How ironic. Some cold, unfeeling robots just gave me a cold, unfeeling robot." Following this, the A.I short circuited and remained unresponsive.	After the A.I. ceased functioning, SCP-3593 rearranged the text to form the message "Your time has come for you to be judged. All of you." See Incident 3593-01.

Incident 3593-01: After the test on 06/25/11, SCP-3593 replaced the hearts of several personnel on the research team, as well as some who were not on it. In light of this incident, SCP-3593 has been branded as a minor infohazard and is currently pending Euclid classification. Containment procedures have been updated accordingly.

Footnotes

1. SCP-XXXX-1 instances do not seem to be surprised at the presence of a chimpanzee in their home, instead having an expression of mild delight.

2. The set of rules that SCP-3593 regards as morally correct and believes all humans should abide by.

3. None of the individuals that are featured in the stories have been identified, and further investigation has shown that they don't seem to exist.

4. The individual 4 volumes have not yet been located.