Per 
Object Class: Keter Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to remain in a concrete containment cell that has been lined with a 15cm layer of galvanized steel. The cell is to be buried at a depth of 10 m away from any heavily populated areas and monitored by a Stationary Task Force of 20 armed personnel. In the event of a containment breach, the Task Force may request additional resources to carry out the process of finding SCP-XXXX and returning it to containment.
SCP-XXXX is to be housed in a standard humanoid containment cell at Site-17. To incentivize good behavior, SCP-XXXX is to be given one slice of cake or an equivalent dessert at the end of each week, provided that it complies with instructions from personnel. Personnel are to penalize noncompliance by revoking this privilege and administering a firmly-worded scolding.
The following module will display transcripts flagged for purging from the archives according to their place in the queue. Proceed?
TRANSCRIPT TYPE: AUDIO-VIDEO
ARCHIVED UNDER: SITE OPERATIONS/TRANSCRIPTION LAB/LOW-SEC
FLAGGED: 01/17/2019
REASON GIVEN: unlabeled; irrelevant material
BEGIN TRANSCRIPT
(Three men are working in a computer lab. All are above average in height, and have faces that show an unusual degree of intelligence.)
Damien Warner: I'm going to punch myself unconscious.
Jordan Andersen: Please don't. They'll just make one of us swab the blood out of the keyboard.
Cooper Chu: Got something tedious?
DW: God. Yes. Hours of it now. This is what I'm doing with my degree, I keep thinking.
JA: The pay is good.
DW. Well, yeah. But I never have to lie about what I do, you know? No one cares. "What do you do?" "Oh, I sit in front of a computer and-" Bam. Already asleep.
CC: But that's good. This is low-risk.
(DW sips his coffee, handsomely.)
JA: 'cept for the infohazards.
DW: I wish we'd see an infohazard.
CC: Not me. Boring is good.
DW: See if you're saying that in three months, man. Ugh. These guys are always saying that, too. It's safe, it's safe, you're so lucky. Easy to say that when your life is like theirs. Imagine being in charge of one of those labs.
JA: How'd you get recruited?
DW: Me? I didn't even do anything special. Just got a linguistics degree. I was working on a Master's in acoustic phonetics.
CC: Yeah. It's just numbers for stuff like this. No frills.
DW: Gotta have some normies.
JA (annoyingly): Aren't you supposed to be working?
DW: I'm taking my break.
(CC rubs his eyes.)
JA: How would you spell this?
(JA unplugs his headphones from the audio jack and plays a video clip. There is a loud scream.)
DW: Hmm. I think I would just write "instance screeches".
CC: That's not a screech. It's a scream. A screech is higher and breathier. Check the guidelines for transcribing wordless vocalizations.
DW (sarcastically): Ooh, check the guidelines, guys.
CC: What? It's important.
JA: Okay. "Instance screams."
DW: Where is a shriek in all this?
JA: Higher pitch but less force. There's a gradient.
DW: Do you guys write "Joe Shmoe laughs", or do you write it out? 'Cause people do it both ways.
JA: I'm not writing it out. Takes too long.
DW: "Ha ha ha, hoo hoo hoo."
JA: Yeah. Oh, I have another difficult one. Wait.
(JA clicks on a few things and plays another video clip.)
Video clip: Oogh!
JA: "Shrieks?" I was gonna write that one out maybe. Augh. A-U-G-H.
CC: I think that was more of an urgh.
DW: Oogh.
JA: It's definitely not oogh. Not oogh. Amateur. Doesn't know his aughs from his ooghs.
CC (patronizingly): Oh, that reminds me. I've been meaning to mention something.
JA: Okay. What?
CC: I've been correcting a lot of your body language transcription when I'm doing the second pass.
JA: What's wrong with it?
CC: You need to fill in some of those pauses. You know, if someone is sipping their coffee or twiddling their thumbs. That's relevant to the discourse. These details matter. Someone could die if you miss the wrong thing.
JA: Nobody is going to die because I didn't write "sips coffee".
DW: What if it was an anomalous coffee?
CC: Do you remember- there was a guy a few years back. He got poisoned during an interview, and the transcriber didn't write it down. He was drinking out of a plastic cup.
JA: He did not.
CC: He did!
DW: That's just a story they tell to keep us on our toes. Johannes got fired 'cause he kept writing those flowery descriptions and putting all-caps in there when he got excited. He had a poet's soul.
(DW drinks coffee again.)
JA: There is kind of something depressing about this. Being surrounded by all the excitement and just waiting it out, typing up descriptions of other people's adventures.
DW: That's it, yeah. Why do they get to have that life and I'm Monkey with Typewriter #378?
(All laugh at how good that joke was.)
CC: There's skill to it, though.
JA: Absolutely. That's what they don't get. That someone has to write down every word that comes out of their mouths when they're out in the field.
CC: Maybe they'd talk less if they did.
DW: Oh, no way. It'd be worse. "Oh, a monster! Good time for my one-liner, 'cause someone is gonna watch this and I gotta be Rambo!"
CC: They already do that.
JA: Yeah.
CC: Where are you with the rest of that set? I think they were expecting it done by oh my god this is boring I'm not going to type it. Blah blah, blah blah blah blah. I think I'm better than you. I went to Stanford. I fart through my mouth.
JA: What are you doing over there? You said you were taking a break.
DW: I am.
CC:
DW: Too late. I already transcribed it.
CC: No, you didn't.
DW: Oh, I totally did. I should send it to the archives.
CC: Ha ha. You are such a child.
DW: Ooh, I'm gonna do it! High stakes!
CC: You're so immature it's a safety risk. Don't even joke. Close the window! If you archive thi
END TRANSCRIPT
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: As SCP-XXXX cannot be contained without requiring the suspension of site operations, current containment procedures are limited to monitoring only. While SCP-XXXX is impossible to avoid, its occurrence can be limited by observing proper transport procedures that prevent objects from exercising anomalous traits outside of their containment cells. Foundation personnel should be reminded regularly of the importance of these procedures. Should the effects of SCP-XXXX begin to affect site operations, the demolition and reconstruction of the affected site may be necessary. Plans for such an event are in progress, and are to be stored in a secure offsite location to prevent SCP-XXXX from observing them.
Description: SCP-XXXX is the expected irregularities in site readings due to a site's long-term exposure to anomalous activity. These small variations are to be expected at all permanent and semipermanent facilities that house objects affecting spacetime and/or probability and/or [a third thing], and have not yet been show to pose any risk to site security. Irregularities are labeled and cataloged according to the site where they occurred. For these expanded entries, please select one of the following:
SCP-XXXX-13SCP-XXXX-17
Display entries: chronologically
Entry Date: 05/22/1976
This entry is to note the results of repeated testing on portions of Site-19. Analysis has revealed a number of inconsistent changes in the following:
*Unprompted dimming and brightening of lights by a measure of [a real small amount]
*Vending machines producing items without payment
*Minor time dilation resulting in the need for a "leap second" every seventh year to maintain consistency
It is obvious that any of these changes could be potentially disastrous if they occurred within a containment chamber. However, this has yet to occur. Affected areas are limited to hallways, break rooms, dormitories, and other low-risk areas. Theories as to why this is the case are currently conflicting. In response to this, the Foundation has established the Exotic Matter Task Force to study this phenomenon and ways to counteract it. The Task Force currently consists of:
*One person
*A second person
*A third person
Entry Date: 05/22/1986
Measurements related to SCP-XXXX-19 have been updated.
Entry Date: 05/22/1996
Measurements related to SCP-XXXX-19 have been updated.
Entry Date: 05/22/2005
!!! Measurements related to SCP-XXXX-19 have been updated and flagged for review. !!!
Entry Date: 05/22/2005
[details]
Meeting Transcript: Exotic Matter Task Force - 05/24/2005
Attending Personnel:
[BEGIN SEGMENT]
Person A: This looks bad. This looks really, really bad.
Person B: We've got a haunted house on our hands here.
Person A: That isn't funny.
C: Can we make a - let's just review the most salient points here, for the record.
A: The most salient points. Our measurements have been extremely unusual the past few days. It seems like these fluctuations are getting more pronounced. It's starting to interfere with the operations. This is going to get very dangerous very quickly. We can't have segments of the building skipping forward a few seconds in time. We can't have the lights dimming at random.
B: Mood lighting. For the record, the lights went down a few notches when we got settled here and we can't fix it.
A: We may have to stop using this facility.
C: Nothing bad has happened yet. It's weird, but it's not-
A: It's not fine. When this starts affecting the containment cells, people are going to die.
C: It won't. I don't think it will.
B: Why not?
C: It's stayed in the hallways until now.
A: Walls are not much of a deterrent where reality-warping phenomena are involved.
B: Yeah, that's weird. You wouldn't expect it to follow a floor plan.
C: It's us, isn't it? There's no distinction between the containment cells and the rest of the facility except to us.
[END SEGMENT]
Entry Date: 06/07/2005
!!! This entry is to note that the measurements related to SCP-XXXX-19 have been updated and flagged. !!!
Entry Date: 06/15/2005
!!! This entry is to note that the measurements related to SCP-XXXX-19 have been updated and flagged. !!!
Entry Date: 06/24/2005
On June 14, 2005, Site-19 experienced a containment breech of one Euclid-class object. The object was returned to containment when several corridors spontaneously sealed outside of automatic breech protocols. This guided the escaped object directly into the path of the containment guard, who collected it promptly. Although this was fortuitous, the unprompted activation of security technology is extremely problematic. The Exotic Matter Task Force is to begin developing a transfer strategy so that the site can be emptied and secured within a period of 6 months. Operations are to continue as usual until then.
Transcript: Audio Recording, Central Lounge - 06/25/2005
Several sound clips cut from audio recordings stored in the Foundation archives are played over the intercom for approximately fifteen seconds. Among them is the sound of people making casual conversation. [fix this….how did they explain this]
Unidentified: -went to pick him up and he was piss drunk, but I got him home safe.
Unidentified: It's us.
Unidentified: It's us.
Unidentified: It's us.
Unidentified: Good morning.
Meeting Transcript: Exotic Matter Task Force - 06/25/2005
"It's not something. It's someONE. These aren't just random fluctuations.
Super secret transcript goes here..this needs to be evocative, some really sick imagery as to how it communicates?
SCP-XXXX-19: PEOPLE WILL DIE
2: More people will die if we don't.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: SCP-XXXX is an English oak tree, 10 m in height and of indeterminate age. Many of SCP-XXXX's branches have been replaced with grafts from other plants, including holly, meadowsweet, and a number of yet-unidentified herbs; SCP-XXXX also hosts mistletoe. SCP-XXXX emanates a "chiming" or "humming" sound that fluctuates in pitch and volume. The source of this sound is currently unknown. SCP-XXXX is warm to the touch and has an internal temperature of 36° Celsius. The source of its heat is currently unknown. SCP-XXXX has been observed to emit faint bioluminescence from its leaves. The source of this phenomenon is currently unknown.
Acquisition: SCP-XXXX was located on a remote subsistance farm owned by the Maloney family in Northern Pennsylvania. The family consists of James and Heather Maloney and their 18-year-old son Justin. While travelling by vehicle to interview the family, Foundation personnel were intercepted by them. The family had blocked off the road with a pickup truck and threatened personnel with firearms before being apprehended for questioning.
Following this, SCP-XXXX was uprooted and replanted at Site-103 for study. The Maloney's home was searched and a number of items were seized for their possible involvement with SCP-XXXX; all showed no sign of anomalous characteristics. Seized items have been placed in a secure storage locker at Site-103.
Addendum SCP-XXXX-1:Interviewed: Justin Maloney, for involvement with SCP object
Interviewer: Researcher Andrea Franklin
<Begin Log>
Franklin: How did you know we were coming?
Maloney: (silence)
Franklin: We want to help you. We just need some information. Who told you we were coming?
Maloney: He told us.
Franklin: Who did?
Maloney: You know. You came to take him.
Franklin: Are you talking about the tree?
Maloney: He's not a tree!
Franklin: What is he, then? We care about him, too, you know.
Maloney: He's our friend. We just take care of each other. Please just let us go. We aren't doing anything. We just want to be left alone.
Franklin: I'm sorry. We can't do that. What we can do is work together here. I need your help. How do you communicate with your friend? How did he tell you we were coming?
Maloney: I don't know.
Franklin: You don't know?
Maloney: He just talks to us. Sometimes.
Franklin: How do you get him to talk to you?
Maloney: We don't. No one gets him to do anything. He just does it.
Franklin: There's nothing you do that triggers it?
Maloney: I don't know. Maybe. We do these things to show appreciation. Mom and Dad think they work, but I'm not sure.
Franklin: Tell me about those.
Maloney: It's complicated. Can I write some things down?
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Maloney proceeded to detail a number of rituals intended to please SCP-XXXX. These rituals were then enacted under Foundation supervision, with no results. The family claimed that SCP-XXXX would be resistant to communication while in Foundation custody. They were subsequently relocated for extended interview.
Addendum SCP-XXXX-2: Following the initial failure of the Maloney family's ritualistic practices, Foundation personnel augmented and repeated the proceedures using data from similar cultural traditions.
| Procedure | Results |
| Bowl of sage and meadowsweet burned at base of SCP-XXXX | None |
| Squirrel killed at base of SCP-XXXX, invocation to Celtic gods recited in Irish Gaelic | None |
| Researcher Franklin sat at base of SCP-XXXX in "quiet contemplation" for 45 minutes | None |
| Length invocation recited in reconstructed Proto-Celtic; squirrel sacrificed by researcher who was positioned in SCP-XXXX's limbs; further invocations written on SCP-XXXX's bark in ogham script using the squirrel's blood; squirrel's body stuffed with meadowsweet and burned | None |
| All of the above repeated in succession by Maloney family | Family reported feeling "empty", otherwise none |
Addendum SCP-XXXX-3:
Interviewed: Justin Maloney, for involvement with SCP object
Interviewer: Researcher Andrea Franklin
<Begin Log>
Franklin: Your tree isn't sentient, is it? You've been playing some kind of game with us.
Maloney: No. Everything I said is true.
Franklin: I've studied it for months, Justin. How did you really know the Foundation was coming to retrieve the object?
Maloney: I don't know what else to tell you. You searched our entire house, right? If there was something else, you'd have found it. You know the whole story. I can't help you any more.
Franklin: Why can't you get the tree to communicate?
Maloney: I don't know. I can't hear him at all anymore. It's like he went to sleep.
Franklin: Justin. You have to realize how this sounds. We've found no evidence that any of what you've said is true.
Maloney: I know. And you never will. And you think that means you're right.
Franklin: How did you know to expect the Foundation when we came to retrieve the object?
Maloney: (silence)
Franklin: How did you know?
Maloney: (silence)
Franklin: Why can't you get the tree to communicate?
Maloney: (silence)
Franklin: What aren't you telling us?
Maloney: (silence)
Franklin: Please just tell me, Justin.
Maloney: There's nothing to tell.
<End Log>
Addendum SCP-XXXX-4: As of 09/08/2002, testing with SCP-XXXX has been suspended.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-1 is to be kept in a secure containment locker at Site-19 when not undergoing testing.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a 200-page, hardcover book bound in red leather and embossed with the words "Exercises in Construction" in gold type. It details a number of "thought exercises" which, when performed, allow one to temporarily create whichever object is being pictured. These temporary constructs are designated SCP-XXXX-2. Items as small as a marble and as large as a desk have been produced for short periods in a testing environment. Successful use of SCP-XXXX requires intense mental focus. No SCP-XXXX-2 instance has yet been sustained for longer than 6 seconds under Foundation observation. Additional testing is ongoing.
Acquisition: SCP-XXXX was tracked via an obsolete library listing to the home of 87-year-old Richard Dodds in Brooklyn, New York. Dodds was not present, as he had recently been admitted to a local hospital with late-stage congestive heart failure. SCP-XXXX was located in a wall safe. Further search of the home revealed an SCP-XXXX-2 instance in the upstairs bedroom, where it had hidden under the bed. Foundation personnel were attempting to interview the instance when it abruptly dematerialized. Dodds was later discovered to have died at the same time.
Noteworthy possessions found in the home of Frank Dodds:
- A large collection of books on meditation
- A large collection of crossword and sudoku puzzles
- A small, wrapped parcel with a card. Card reads "For Tilly - happy 1st. I'm so proud of you. It fills me with joy to see you coming into yourself and finding your place in this world." Parcel contains a gold bracelet.
