Per 
Dr. Jack Bright skimmed a copy of SCP-035s file as he walked through Site-19s hallways
Number: 035
Class: Keto
SPC: makes acid yadyada, use acid-resistant glass blablabla
Desc: basically Majoras Mask, but more charismatic
He didn't need to, but if the last century taught him anything, it's that smart people double-check, it's what makes them different from everyone else (and that no-one at the Foundation appreciates a good joke… and that 173 doesn't want a hug, and that 682 is not a pet, and- turns out you learn a lot in a hundred years, but that's besides the point!) and he was one of the smartest!
"Codirector Bright."
Dr. Bright looked up "O5-12? What a surprising face to… not see!" The cognitohazard on his superior's face was damned annoying.
"As you've been made aware of yesterday, a routine interview has been scheduled with SCP-035. The Council is grateful that you volunteered."
He actually just did it because it sounded like more fun than sharing an office with Moose, why does 19 need two directors anyway?
"Furthermore, Dr. Clef will be supervising-" "Clef!?" Bright looked over to the chamber door, and sure enough there he was. "So they found a leash for you after all!" They weren't actually allowed to meet anymore because- nevermind… "Just shut up and get into the observation room!" barked Clef " and take off that stupid tophat!"
Bright watched as a young D-Class was led into the containment chamber.
"Do we have to use a living person for this?" Jack whispered to 12.
"It gets results!"
"Wouldn't it get better results to give him a mannequin and promise him D-Class for good behavior?"
"Back in my day, staff didn't talk back to Overseers!"
"bACk iN My DaY, the O5s at least tried to pretend to not be assholes." He muttered as the joined 035 in its containment chamber.
"This feels like the body of… an artist! You're spoiling me!"
"That's one way to see it I guess, look at it from the bright side" Jack chuckled a bit at his own pun.
"A joke during an interview?" 035 gained enough motor function to open its eyes "Jack!"
"please call me Doctor Bright, Doc or Bright. Jack is for friends and we aren't there yet. Please state your name for the sake of the interview."
"I know how this goes: Interviewer SCP-035, Interviewed SCP-963. Did I get it right?"
"It's the other way around and" Bright showed off his amulet "this isn't me!"
"But I'm a mask? Stupid double standards!"
"Let's just get started. You're acid resembles one of the drugs 049 uses in its… work. How did he get it?"
"Did you ever think about how similar we are?"
"Answer my question!"
"But I wanna try this whole researcher thing! Please!"
"Do it, results!" sounded Clef from behind a glass-pane.
"Fine, what do you mean by similar? That we both got our souls stuck in a magic accessory once?"
"Nonononono, I mean that we both wear masks"
"A mask? What the… No, I'm actually an Orang-Utan right now! Why would you even think that's a-"
"Sorry if a was unclear: I wear a literal mask, but you wear a metaphorical one."
"Ok, this is getting ridiculous! Back to the actual interview!"
"You think I never noticed your constant shenanigans!? Letting other scips breach containment because you're bored, insisting on possessing primates, pranking your coworkers with anomalies! I know where all of it comes from! You're me! I've been in your position for millennia now, you can't hide anything from me! The thought of a way out of killing for the immortality is all that keeps you sane at this point and you're tearing at the seems already! Let me tell you something there's no way out of this punishment!"
"A-aboard the freaking interview damn it! Just do it already!"
"So you can keep running away from the truth? Let me tell you an abridged version of my story. That's what you came here for, right? I used to be the jester in a beautiful kingdom in Italy before some sarkic-asshole visited our court! The king fell for it and to top it all of, our kingdom was pushed somewhere else in the multiverse by a reality bender somewhere else int the timeline or something, I don't remember, not that my fragile mind could have understood anyway. All things considered, I had it good, was promoted to Lord and all that jazz, but none of it felt like home. How do you think I reacted when this walking smiley showed up and offered us a place in the Scarlet Kings army, now that I think about it he probably worked with the meat-lover, wouldn't be the first time the Scarlet King worked with them. Anyway, I was ecstatic that I might get to go home! And when I realized that I wouldn't get what I want, they crammed me into this mask as a punishment and send me back here for irony's sake. I've tried everything to end it, learned everything about it! That's how I know it won't end: Because your necklace, I was the one who wrote the book on how to make it!"
Bright was paralyzed in shock as Clef ran in with his shotgun ready "Interview aborted, now shut up!"
"Save yourself the bullet, I'm done anyway!" 035 turned its head so quickly that its neck snapped.
There was a Crunch,
then there was
silence.
