Per 
Bioluminescent milk jug output before consumption
Item #: SCP-5729
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5729 is to be kept at Site ████████, access prohibited to all site personnel below level 2. A formal request is required for testing with SCP-5729. In the case of SCP-5729 producing biohazardous substances, gold-plated titanium retractable walls on all sides of the SCP will be automatically toggled.
Description: SCP-5729 is a wooden medieval alchemy table with two input funnels on each end. Any inputted object that does not fit the size of the funnel, will be anomalously squished into a size where it can fit. The alchemy table itself is 3.5 metres long. The middle of the table lies hard-glued rusted glass flasks, along with tubes of an unknown metal composite running through it from the funnel. At the front of the table is a rustic wooden jug, which contains the outputted material. Additionally, a decorative balance scale is situated behind the flasks.
Putting an object in each flask results in them being sucked in, where bits and pieces of it appear inside of the flasks. Approximately ten seconds after placement, the objects begin releasing low-emitting radiation and electromagnetic pulses, slowly deviating into extreme gamma radiation, where modern electrical devices stop working, such as standard cameras and cellphones. All personnel must evacuate the area during the radiation process, and toughened-glass protected specialised cameras are put into place to monitor the area. After approximately twenty minutes after placement, the radiation ceases, and motorised water spraying devices begin cleansing the area. Personnel may now re-enter the area, and collect the outputted substance.
Addendum 5729-A: 19 Sep 1981 | A red apple and a banana is put into the funnels by D-Class personnel. Radiation starts emitting from inside the flasks. One minute after the procedure, the D-Class' epidermic layer begins to [DATA EXPUNGED], as they scream in agony. The entire area is put on lockdown, and site personnel situated there during testing is rushed to the medical area, where they are examined by medical personnel. Two guards become seriously ill during medical examination, Dr. ██████ exhibits high fever. After examination, all personnel at the area were debriefed, and work continues as normal. The containment room of SCP-5729 is upgraded in a span of three weeks. However, personnel have failed to retrieve the output substance from the apple and banana. Further research resumes.
Addendum 5729-B: 08 Oct 1981 | An Aquafina water bottle and a box of McDonalds Chicken McNuggets are deposited into funnels. Site personnel evacuate the area, and view the process from a remote camera. Nine seconds later, the camera shuts off for unknown reasons. Scientific examination of the area reveals that high levels of gamma radiation is emitted, along with electromagnetic pulses. Testing is put on hold yet again as manufacturing redesigns the holding area.
Addendum 5729-C: 21 Jan 1992 | A light bulb and a carton of milk are deposited into the funnels. Procedure goes accordingly, which site personnel evacuate the area. The area is monitored by eight specialised cameras allowing for observation of all sides of the table. A half an hour later, the area is presumed safe to traverse once again. D-Class personnel were sent into the area for two minutes, then sent back for medical examination, yielding negative results of any radiation poisoning. Two researchers, accompanied by four guards are sent in for retrievement of the outputted material. The material is a glass jug of bioluminescent milk. A group of D-Class were ordered to consume the substance. One week later, one of the D-Class begins to emit light from his organs, allowing for a clear view of them through the skin. Testing has yet to be approved on the D-Class.
Addendum 5729-D-A: 02 Mar 2013 | SCP-5792-1
Input: Caucasian male & crystal ball
Output: Sentient polymorphic human-shaped mass of smoke. The entity states that they are the "rightful owner" of SCP-5729. The following series of tests have been conducted:
- Combustion: The entity does not burn or catch on fire. Furthermore, it states that the fire "tickles".
- Water: The water instantly vaporises after coming in contact with the entity.
- Vacuum chamber: The smoke appears to be sucked into the vacuum along with other gasses in the room. After an hour of meddling, the smoke is let out, and the entity reforms.
- Human interaction: A D-Class personnel is sent into the chamber where the entity is held. The flesh of the D-Class immediately begins to rot until their body is turned into a skeletal corpse. The entity starts murmuring something repeatedly until it is told to stop. Translations reveal it has been apologising in Latin.
Testing ceased due to multiple failed attempts to contain the entity. The entity is now classified as SCP-5729-1. The following is the interview between Dr. Ramirez and SCP-5729-1.
