IWRITEHORRORSandbox

Hendrix,
We lost the electronic tracking beacon for 507. Can you remotely reactivate it?
-LaterThatNight

It's re-activated. Also, 507 re-emerged in my office.
Can you come and get him?

Raiden, SCP-000 got into the server room during the breach and deleted files 13-17.
How do you re-install them?

You can't re-install files, you have to re-download them. I'll come down and do that in person. But not until SCP-000 is re-captured.

Hey Raiden,
Have you ever coded an AI?
-Dr Bright

Is this what that bet was about?
And yes, I have.

R Hendrix,
Some delegation from the 05 Council is running an investigation of our site and servers, including our computers.
How do you purge search history?
-Dr. Clef

Already done.
You owe me.
I now need to find some amnesiacs; your search history is something I want to purge from my brain.

Hendrix,
Please reply with the reason why the most recent meeting between Doctors Bright and Clef resulted in a fire in the toilet block and half the monitors going missing.
-05 Council Delegate.

They were left unsupervised.

Technical Administrator Hendrix,
You were the one supervising them.
-05 Council Delegate.

In my defence,
I was also left unsupervised.

ey endrix,
I spit coee on my keboar an now some etters aren't workin. ow to ix?
-coffeecult666

You just need to let it dry out for 24 hours, rinse with water and then dry again.
Ok?

Raiden,
Someone re-attached the head of SCP-3090 wrongly, and now it is showing nothing but binary code.
Do you know how to help?
-ImTheDoctor

Copy down the strings and send them to me.

They change too fast

Can I see it? I am fluent in binary.

It seems to like you.

Yes, I get that, Please stop it from hugging me.

Is anyone else getting Internal Service Error 571??
-SavingGrace
What is 571?
-coffeecult666
Yeah, me too.
-LaterThatNight

You shouldn't be getting error message 571. You'd only be getting it if one of our satellites had entered the atmosphere. I'm the only one with the codes to bring it down, and no-one's been in my office except me and
Fuck
Bright.

To all personel,

Ignore error message 571. I'm fixing it now.

To that end, Bright.

Your days are numbered.

Hey Hendrix, my computer shut down when I deleted something called 'Linux' that was using loads of storage.
How do I fix?
-ImNotItGuy
Sent from my iPhone

Oh, it's simple.
You've just managed to delete the metaphorical brain of the computer.
I'm on my way down.

Raiden,
Someone changed my desktop background to porn. And it's moving.
How do I change it back?

Hendrix,
The cameras in your location went down for approximately half an hour at 1:32 yesterday afternoon. Please send in recorded camera feeds.
-05 Delegate

Sorry sir, no can do.
They went down on my computer too, and it'll take days to decrypt the copies in the server-bank.

Due to an influx of certain types of… hardware errors, I forbid anything to do with any form of cum being requested of me.

To answer your essential questions on the subject, go check the original 'technical errors' log.

Abel vs 674, who would win?
-Dr Bright
674
-Dr. Clef
674
-coffeecult666
Why do you guys not think Abel? Isn't his thing like, he never looses?
-LaterThatNight
Have you seen 674?
-2007Internet
094 vs 674
-Dr Bright
674
-coffeecult666
674
-Dr. Kondraki
674
-2007Internet

Please don't use this feed as a chatroom, we have group chats for that.
Also, 674.

I ot offee o my cosole aai

You are currently number… seven… thousand… four… hundred and… twenty… six in the queue.
Please hold.

To all security personnel,

Why is SCP-3090 in my office?

And why is it hugging me?

Hendrix,
Can you tell if Bright bugged my phone?
-anonEmous

I can.
Why?

I want to call someone. And I don't want him listening in.

Well, he hasn't bugged your phone.
Though I wouldn't use the official line for personal calls.

Thanks R!
-Bright
Thanks for what?
-anonEmous

No problem.
You owe me.

NO PROBLEM ABOUT WHAT?
-anonEmous

To all staff,

No. May be a hacker, but i haven't hacked our internet. Nor do I have a 6th sense about what you are searching on incognito mode.

ps. StrugglesAndHardships, no-one needs that much porn ever, let alone daily.

who was queen elisabeth?

Past queen of England.
ps. 2007Internet, put a password on your computer when you get it back.

The computers are playing that 'scatman' song at full blast an they won't stop. It won't stop.
Help

Turn off the volume, dumbass.

To all staff,

My office is not an SCP containment chamber. Please stop putting SCP's in here.

It doesn't matter that they are harmless.

Raiden,
My computer screen is upside down. Every computer in the office has an upside-down scene.
How do I fix it?

Revenge.

Due to upgraded dark-web firewalls, I cannot fill my daily quota of Magical Furry Porn. Can you unblock it?
-2007Internet

Both Bright and (whoever goes by) anon3mous have both asked the EXACT SAME thing. Do all three of you share a single, horny brain cell?
Aaaaand… unblocked.

To Hendrix,
How do I internet?

You're… serious?
Someone else explain. Please.